While dealing with grief, often we want to speed through it, get it over with, be done with it — but, according to therapists, it’s best to allow yourself tofeel your feelingsin order to truly heal.

You may have heard of the “5 stages of grief,” and while many experience similarly staggered emotions when mourning, no two people, or their experiences, are the same. Not everyone experiences each stage, or each stage in the accustomed order.

Grief Counseling OnlineYou don’t have to wait for help processing your loss. Access grief counseling within daysStart here

Grief Counseling OnlineYou don’t have to wait for help processing your loss. Access grief counseling within days

Grief Counseling Online

You don’t have to wait for help processing your loss. Access grief counseling within days

Start here

Traditionally, the 5 stages of grief are listed as:

Denial

Denial can give you a little more time to hold your most intense feelings at bay as you begin to recover from the shock of the loss, before you’re ready to work through some of these challenging emotions.

Anger

Anger might be directed at nearly anyone involved in a loved one’s death. You may even feel anger toward the loved one for leaving us, or toward yourself for not being able to save them. It’s possible for this anger is directed at a higher power, or toward the diagnosis or illness itself.

Bargaining

If you’re grieving someone who was ill prior to dying, you may experience a period of bargaining when you learned of their diagnosis and watched their condition worsen. You may have had thoughts like: “Please take me instead,” you may have begged for more time, or tried to make a deal with a higher power to keep the person alive.

Depression

If you are able to feel your sadness, it means you have begun the process of accepting your loss. You are no longer denying, bargaining with it, and you are no longer working through your anger. The full weight of the loss has hit and you’re experiencing the associated sadness.

Acceptance

Accepting someone’s death does not mean you are justifying it or making it OK. You are accepting it as reality and something you can’t change. You’re beginning to make peace with the idea of your loss.

Talkspace Therapists On the 5 Stages of Grief

We turned to Talkspace therapists Elizabeth Hinkle, LMFT; Rachel O’Neill, Ph.D. LPCC-S; and Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, CFTP; to provide insight for those who are grieving, in order to help them progress in their grieving process.

“Have patience and recognize it’s not going to be a smooth process of going from one stage to the next; it’s often messy and there are a lot of ups and downs with the stages, going from one to another and then back again.” —Elizabeth Hinkle, LMFT

“There’s no magic way to get through each stage; overall, I think having someunderstanding of the process of grieving, and practicing acceptance around the experience of grief, can be a helpful pathway forward.” —Rachel O’Neill, Ph.D. LPCC-S

Below, Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, CFTP provides some tips to navigating each stage of grief.

It’s important to keep in mind that everyone grieves differently, and there’s no correct way, or timeline, to grieve. Our hope is that these tips provide further insight intomanaging grief. With time, support from loved ones, and maybe a therapist — you will feel better.

If you have feelings of being “stuck” in grief, you may have developedpersistent complex bereavement disorder— long-lasting, severe, and debilitating — grief. Be sure to seek help from a professional, as therapy, medication, or both can get you on your way to feeling better.

Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.

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