The Silence Surrounding Pregnancy and Infant Loss

In addition, very few healthcare providers that interact with mothers, during or in the wake of their loss, fully address the mental health effects of pregnancy and infant loss. In general, there are few built-in societal support networks for grieving mothers — few places for mothers to turn for guidance and support as they move through the grieving process.

Grief Counseling OnlineYou don’t have to wait for help processing your loss. Access grief counseling within daysStart here

Grief Counseling OnlineYou don’t have to wait for help processing your loss. Access grief counseling within days

Grief Counseling Online

You don’t have to wait for help processing your loss. Access grief counseling within days

Start here

Mothers are often left to deal with their feelings virtually alone, which can only make it more difficult to heal.

How Pregnancy and Infant Loss Affects Mental Health

No matter what kind of loss you experience, whether it be an early miscarriage, or the death of your newborn, the experience of losing a child can have deep and lasting affects on your mental health.

Anxiety and depression

Statistics are similar for women who have experienced stillbirth. Studies show that your risk of developing anxiety and depression increases significantly after a stillbirth — and this can spill over to a subsequent pregnancy. Women who’ve experienced stillbirth are22% more likely to experience anxiety, and 19.7% more likely to experience depressionduring a post-stillbirth pregnancy.

PTSD

Women who experience pregnancy loss are also at risk for developing PTSD.Symptoms of PTSDafter pregnancy and infant loss may include nightmares, feeling “numb,” trouble sleeping, flashbacks, and replaying the events of the loss obsessively, almost on a loop. It’s common for mothers who experiencePTSDafter a loss to blame themselves for what happened, and to fixate on the “what ifs” and what they would have done differently to prevent the loss.

How To Help Mothers After Loss

If you are the loved one of a mother who has experienced pregnancy loss, the first thing you can do is be a good listener. Validate the mother’s feelings and discourage her from blaming herself. Help her take care of her immediate needs: bring her food, watch her other children so she can rest, etc. If she seems to be experiencing a mental health challenge, gently encourage her to get help, and help her find the right kind of mental health care for her needs.

Where To Seek Help After Loss

If you experienced an infant loss, whether recently, a few months ago, or even if years have passed, you should know that there is a lot of kind, compassionate, non-judgmental help out there.

Some mothers find it beneficial to speak to a therapist who has background in pregnancy and child loss. You may prefer an in-person therapist, or you may find thatonline therapy optionsare more convenient for you and that the confidentiality is helpful as you process your loss.

There are also in-person and online support groups for mothers who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss. You may find it very therapeutic to connect with other mothers who have experienced something similar to what you have. It may feel that no one truly “gets” what you are feeling, but you may find that others who are in a similar boat will be able to empathize more than others.

Whatever avenue you decide is right for you, please don’t neglect your mental health.Your difficult feelings are not ones you should try to push away. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve a chance to feel better.

Remind Yourself: You Are Not To Blame

Don’t minimize your feelings

Some women tell themselves that what they experienced wasn’t as bad as it could have been, or was less tragic than what someone else experienced. It’s so important to keep in mind that there are no comparisons here: your feelings about what happened are real.

Eventually, you will be able to accept that pregnancy and infant losses are among the life tragedies that are beyond our control — as awful and painful as they are. You will always miss what could have been, and it’s normal to feelthatloss too — for it to be a part of your life.

Just know, you will be okay. Eventually, you will be able to move on from this and live a happy, healthy life. You are resilient, stronger than you know, and you will pull through.

Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.

Articles contain trusted third-party sources that are either directly linked to in the text or listed at the bottom to take readers directly to the source.

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