Social media makes breakups way harder than they need to be, so you might want extra guidance during the aftermath.
At First – Go Out and Away from Social
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.Learn more
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Couples Therapy Online
Strengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Learn more
Be Considerate When Posting About These Outings
Going out more after breakups can be a good coping strategy, but be considerate if you plan on posting about your fun times. Whether it’s your intention or not, exes might think you are trying to show them how easy it was to get over them. The people in your networks may see it as disingenuous as well. One of the therapists we work with had aclientwho illustrated this point.
After Some Time to Heal – Restart Your Routine
People experience a grieving process after breakups.
“It’s like a death, but that person is still breathing,” said Talkspace therapist Christy Paul.
You might be tempted to curl up and stop your normal activities until the pain goes away, Paul said, but restarting your routine will make the grieving process more bearable. This applies to social media as well.
But Fight the Temptation to Check Up on Your Ex Via Social Media
Telling someone to stop browsing their ex’s social media usually isn’t enough. They might need a gradual reduction rather than going cold turkey. Maybe start with once a day on several platforms. Then scale it down to three times a week on one platform, and so on. If anything you see upsets you, log off immediately. You can also keep a tally of how many times you check social media after a breakup. Every time you add a mark, write a healthier and more productive activity next to it.
Embrace Positive People and Communities, Stay Away from the Negative
After a breakup, only spend time with positive people and communities. Don’t browse social media pages full of bitter statements about exes or sweeping statements on men and women.
Note: This tip is based on advice from Detroit-based dating coachLisa Schmidt.
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Facebook and Instagram Are Different Beasts After a Breakup
After a breakup, you may be asking yourself: “should I delete my ex off social media?” Well, you’ll need to execute a version of the post-breakup social media strategy for every platform you are on. Facebook and Instagram tend to cause the most drama, but the others can strike when your guard is down.
Facebook is the ultimate post-breakup drama exacerbator. Posts hang around way longer and there are mutual friends and a wealth of settings to consider. Here are some actionable tips to protect yourself one click at a time (viaHighSpeedInternet.com’s social media expert, Cosette Jarrett):
These tips should make Instagram feel like less of a post-breakup vice:
You don’t have to be famous for a twitter beef to ensue. To prevent that, practice the same guidelines here: unfollow accounts likely to make you upset, stay classy and reboot your routine. You can also follow some new accounts that willmake you laugh.
Yes, LinkedIn can open up your relationship scabs. People connect with their significant others and exes on LinkedIn either for legitimate career reasons or because they believe they should be connected in every way possible.
Social media expert andSocialtyfounder Marina Christos suggests people be cautious when using the “Who’s viewed your profile?” tab. This tab is important when you’re job hunting, but don’t look at it during breakups unless you need to. If your ex peruses your profiles thoroughly enough, his or her face might pop up in that row of connections. Not everyone has the “private mode” feature.
The name will come up even if they don’t have a profile picture.
Understand the #1 Reason for Social Media Checkups
When you break up with someone, make the “why?” painfully clear. This will reduce the chance of them browsing your social media or attempting to embarrass you. If exes don’t feel like you gave adequate reasons, they will try looking for clues on your profiles.
We Don’t Want You to Break Up Again, But If You Do…
Social Media Prenups
Couples should discuss how to handle crises before they happen, saidTalkspacetherapistNicole Amesbury, and social media is no exception. Having the “What should we do on social if we break up?” discussion while you’re in a stable relationship can be awkward, but it might save you a lot of heartbreak.It should include important questions such as:
Marriage therapist and author Dr. Sheri Meyers called this asocial media prenupand used it with one of her exes.
“Part of my agreement is no ugly pictures posted,” Meyers told Katie Couric during an interview.
Couples can customize this agreement with similar stipulations and havehired lawyersin some cases (usually when they don’t think a verbal agreement is enough and want to protect their personal brands).
If the breakup is amicable, both partners should keep to this strategy — hopefully without hiring lawyers.
Healthy Use of Social Media
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