Surviving Your Quarter Life Crisis: Strategies and Support

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSigns & SymptomsCommon ChallengesHow to CopeGetting Help

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Signs & Symptoms

Common Challenges

How to Cope

Getting Help

Adults during this stage of life have often begun careers, entered committed relationships, become financially independent, and started families. For some, it might seem that they have finally reached many of the goals they have been working toward.

A quarter-life crisis can often be a normal part of young adult development. It can be a time of exploration, resulting in self-reflection and discovery that can lead topersonal growth.

“Young adults are basically told this should be the best and most exciting time of their life. When the reality of life isn’t as picture-perfect as they thought it would be, it can create massive amounts of stress and anxiety,” saysCarrie Howard, LCSW, CCATP, an anxiety coach and founder of Thrive Anxiety Solutions.

A quarter-life crisis can often be a normal part of young adult development. It can be a time of exploration, resulting in self-reflection and discovery that can lead topersonal growth. Caring for yourself and seeking support as you face different challenges can help you cultivate greaterresilienceas you transition through this phase of life.

Recognizing the Signs and Symptoms

Each person’s experience is different, so a quarter-life crisis can manifest in different ways. “Some of the most common anxieties young people face during this time revolve around still not having a clear idea of who they are, experiencing difficulty finding meaning, purpose, and belonging in life, and grappling with the disappointment and frustration that life hasn’t turned out how they thought it would,” Howard explains.

Common themes during this developmental period include ambiguity about adult status, the need for self-exploration, instability in relationships and roles, self-focus, and anticipation for the future.

Some of the common signs and symptoms that you might experience include:

Such symptoms can be signs of a quarter-life crisis but can also be tied to other causes, includingdepression. If you have been struggling with these feelings along with other symptoms of depression, such as changes in appetite, sleeping difficulties, changes in mood, and loss of pleasure, talk to your doctor ormental health professional.

Types of Quarter-Life CrisesResearchers suggest that there are two primary types of quarter-life crises: locked-in and locked-out.Thelocked-intype of crisis refers to feeling obligated to stay in a role despite feeling dissatisfied with it.Thelocked-outcrisis involves not being able to obtain a desired goal, such as not being able to find work after graduating college.

Types of Quarter-Life Crises

Researchers suggest that there are two primary types of quarter-life crises: locked-in and locked-out.Thelocked-intype of crisis refers to feeling obligated to stay in a role despite feeling dissatisfied with it.Thelocked-outcrisis involves not being able to obtain a desired goal, such as not being able to find work after graduating college.

Researchers suggest that there are two primary types of quarter-life crises: locked-in and locked-out.

Common Challenges During a Quarter-Life Crisis

Young adulthood is a time of new challenges and major life changes. This can be exciting at times, but it can also contribute to stress and uncertainty.

—CARRIE HOWARD, LCSW, CCATP, ANXIETY COACH

Such pressure, Howard says, can lead many to question what they are doing, why they are doing it, and whether it will really make them happy. When life doesn’t look like they thought it would, or when the things they thought would bring them joydon’t, it can create a sense of confusion and distress.

Some of the challenges that can play a part in triggering a quarter-life crisis include:

Exposure to social media can amplify this anxiety and pressure. “When you spend time scrolling social media feeds every day, and all you see are the highlight reels of everyone’s lives, it can absolutely create a tendency to compare yourself to others and feel like you’re coming up short,” Howard explains.

In a study of 1.5 million social media posts referencing quarter-life crises, researchers found that common themes often centered on feeling stuck, illness, career, school, family, desiring change, or experiencing mixed emotions.

Strategies for Coping With a Quarter-Life Crisis

Engage in Self-Reflection

Remembering that this type of developmental crisis is a normal part of life can be helpful. What you are feeling isn’t unusual, and it can be a way to learn more about yourself. Howard suggests that this self-exploration can be an essential way to shed light on your beliefs, values, and goals.

“Spending some time journaling or going through a list of values to help you figure out what is most important to you can really help here. Getting some clarity on these things will help you make decisions going forward that line up with your values and what is most important to you in your life,” she says.

Taking Time to Self-ReflectSome strategies you can use to facilitate this self-reflection process include:Journaling: Write about your feelings, thoughts, and goals. This can be a great way to look for patterns and notice what matters most to you.Alone time: Social support is always important, but solitude can be a great way to reflect on what matters most to you, free from social pressure.Visualization: Spend time visualizing your future. Imagine yourself following various paths and consider how each option makes you feel.Getting feedback: Friends, family members, mentors, and other trusted individuals can be a great source of feedback and insight. Their insights can help you better recognize both your strengths and potential.The important thing to remember is that this is not a singular event—it’s an ongoing process that can change as you adapt and grow.

Taking Time to Self-Reflect

Some strategies you can use to facilitate this self-reflection process include:Journaling: Write about your feelings, thoughts, and goals. This can be a great way to look for patterns and notice what matters most to you.Alone time: Social support is always important, but solitude can be a great way to reflect on what matters most to you, free from social pressure.Visualization: Spend time visualizing your future. Imagine yourself following various paths and consider how each option makes you feel.Getting feedback: Friends, family members, mentors, and other trusted individuals can be a great source of feedback and insight. Their insights can help you better recognize both your strengths and potential.The important thing to remember is that this is not a singular event—it’s an ongoing process that can change as you adapt and grow.

Some strategies you can use to facilitate this self-reflection process include:

The important thing to remember is that this is not a singular event—it’s an ongoing process that can change as you adapt and grow.

You may find that your needs, values, and goals change over time—and that’s fine. The key is to keep reflecting and learning more about who you are and what you want.

Let Go of Expectations

In addition to reflecting on your values and goals, Howard says it is also important to let go of the long-held expectations that might come from yourself, your parents, or others in your life.

“Shift yourinner dialogueaway from using words like ‘should,’ ‘ought,’ and ‘must’ that subtly put pressure on yourself for your life to look a certain way and induceshamewhen those expectations aren’t met,” Howard suggests.

Practicingself-compassionand self-acceptance, she says, can also help you feel OK, even if your life doesn’t necessarily look how you expected it to.

Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparison may be a natural tendency, but it can truly be the thief of joy. It’s hard not to look around at your peers and feel like perhaps they have their lives more together than you.

Social media can play a role in exacerbating this urge to compare.It’s important to remember that what you see online often represents only select highlights of a person’s life; what you don’t see are all the struggles, disappointments, and insecurities that other people experience.Each person’s journey is unique and different. What’s right for someone else may not be right for you.

Each person’s journey is unique and different. What’s right for someone else may not be right for you.

Give Yourself Permission to Be Undecided and to Change

Howard says that it is also important to recognize that you don’t have to have all the answers. As a young adult, you’re still figuring out what you like, want, and find fulfilling. In many cases, the only way to discover these things is through exploring your options, so it’s OK to try things and decide that they are not right for you.

The key is to give yourself permission to change your mind along the way. “It’s OK to change your career path, decide you want to go back to school, or realize that you aren’t ready to settle down and start a family yet,” Howard says.

Change is inevitable, and learning to accept and embrace change can make it easier to face life’s many transitions. Recognize that young adulthood is a time of growth, and it can be an opportunity to learn more about yourself. Developing this self-knowledge can serve you well both now and in the future.

Reframe these pivots as important learning opportunities for personal growth and development rather than as failures.—CARRIE HOWARD, LCSW, CCATP, ANXIETY COACH

Reframe these pivots as important learning opportunities for personal growth and development rather than as failures.

Seeking Support for a Quarter-Life Crisis

While it is sometimes challenging to talk about with others, seeking support and encouragement is essential. Remind yourself that this is something that many people your age face, so sharing your own feelings and experiences can be a way to remind yourself and others that you are not alone in these feelings.

To get the support you need, consider:

While a quarter-life crisis is normal and common, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect your well-being andmotivation. Seeking help as you face these feelings of uncertainty can help you turn this experience into a time of personal growth. The key is to keep learning more about yourself, explore your options, clarify your values, and make choices that will serve you well now and in the future.

If you continue to experience feelings of distress, depression, or anxiety, reaching out to a doctor or mental health professional for further evaluation and help is vital.

If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety or depression, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

‘I Hate My Life': What to Do and How to Cope

6 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Agarwal S, Guntuku SC, Robinson OC, Dunn A, Ungar LH.Examining the phenomenon of quarter-life crisis through artificial intelligence and the language of Twitter.Front Psychol. 2020;11:341. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00341Arnett JJ, Mitra D.Are the features of emerging adulthood developmentally distinctive? A comparison of ages 18–60 in the United States.Emerging Adulthood. 2020;8(5):412-419. doi:10.1177/2167696818810073Robinson OC.A longitudinal mixed-methods case study of quarter-life crisis during the post-university transition: locked-out and locked-in forms in combination.Emerging Adulthood. 2019;7(3):167-179. doi:10.1177/2167696818764144Murillo-Llorente MT, Navarro-Martínez O, Valle VI, Pérez-Bermejo M.Using the reflective journal to improve practical skills integrating affective and self-critical aspects in impoverished international environments. A pilot test.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(16):8876. doi:10.3390/ijerph18168876Birditt KS, Manalel JA, Sommers H, Luong G, Fingerman KL.Better off alone: daily solitude is associated with lower negative affect in more conflictual social networks. Pruchno R, ed.The Gerontologist. 2019;59(6):1152-1161. doi:10.1093/geront/gny060Fukubayashi N, Fuji K.Social comparison on social media increases career frustration: A focus on the mitigating effect of companionship.Front Psychol. 2021;12:720960. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.720960

6 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Agarwal S, Guntuku SC, Robinson OC, Dunn A, Ungar LH.Examining the phenomenon of quarter-life crisis through artificial intelligence and the language of Twitter.Front Psychol. 2020;11:341. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00341Arnett JJ, Mitra D.Are the features of emerging adulthood developmentally distinctive? A comparison of ages 18–60 in the United States.Emerging Adulthood. 2020;8(5):412-419. doi:10.1177/2167696818810073Robinson OC.A longitudinal mixed-methods case study of quarter-life crisis during the post-university transition: locked-out and locked-in forms in combination.Emerging Adulthood. 2019;7(3):167-179. doi:10.1177/2167696818764144Murillo-Llorente MT, Navarro-Martínez O, Valle VI, Pérez-Bermejo M.Using the reflective journal to improve practical skills integrating affective and self-critical aspects in impoverished international environments. A pilot test.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(16):8876. doi:10.3390/ijerph18168876Birditt KS, Manalel JA, Sommers H, Luong G, Fingerman KL.Better off alone: daily solitude is associated with lower negative affect in more conflictual social networks. Pruchno R, ed.The Gerontologist. 2019;59(6):1152-1161. doi:10.1093/geront/gny060Fukubayashi N, Fuji K.Social comparison on social media increases career frustration: A focus on the mitigating effect of companionship.Front Psychol. 2021;12:720960. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.720960

Agarwal S, Guntuku SC, Robinson OC, Dunn A, Ungar LH.Examining the phenomenon of quarter-life crisis through artificial intelligence and the language of Twitter.Front Psychol. 2020;11:341. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00341Arnett JJ, Mitra D.Are the features of emerging adulthood developmentally distinctive? A comparison of ages 18–60 in the United States.Emerging Adulthood. 2020;8(5):412-419. doi:10.1177/2167696818810073Robinson OC.A longitudinal mixed-methods case study of quarter-life crisis during the post-university transition: locked-out and locked-in forms in combination.Emerging Adulthood. 2019;7(3):167-179. doi:10.1177/2167696818764144Murillo-Llorente MT, Navarro-Martínez O, Valle VI, Pérez-Bermejo M.Using the reflective journal to improve practical skills integrating affective and self-critical aspects in impoverished international environments. A pilot test.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(16):8876. doi:10.3390/ijerph18168876Birditt KS, Manalel JA, Sommers H, Luong G, Fingerman KL.Better off alone: daily solitude is associated with lower negative affect in more conflictual social networks. Pruchno R, ed.The Gerontologist. 2019;59(6):1152-1161. doi:10.1093/geront/gny060Fukubayashi N, Fuji K.Social comparison on social media increases career frustration: A focus on the mitigating effect of companionship.Front Psychol. 2021;12:720960. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.720960

Arnett JJ, Mitra D.Are the features of emerging adulthood developmentally distinctive? A comparison of ages 18–60 in the United States.Emerging Adulthood. 2020;8(5):412-419. doi:10.1177/2167696818810073

Robinson OC.A longitudinal mixed-methods case study of quarter-life crisis during the post-university transition: locked-out and locked-in forms in combination.Emerging Adulthood. 2019;7(3):167-179. doi:10.1177/2167696818764144

Murillo-Llorente MT, Navarro-Martínez O, Valle VI, Pérez-Bermejo M.Using the reflective journal to improve practical skills integrating affective and self-critical aspects in impoverished international environments. A pilot test.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(16):8876. doi:10.3390/ijerph18168876

Birditt KS, Manalel JA, Sommers H, Luong G, Fingerman KL.Better off alone: daily solitude is associated with lower negative affect in more conflictual social networks. Pruchno R, ed.The Gerontologist. 2019;59(6):1152-1161. doi:10.1093/geront/gny060

Fukubayashi N, Fuji K.Social comparison on social media increases career frustration: A focus on the mitigating effect of companionship.Front Psychol. 2021;12:720960. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.720960

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Recognizing the Signs and Symptoms#

Types of Quarter-Life Crises#

Common Challenges During a Quarter-Life Crisis#

Strategies for Coping With a Quarter-Life Crisis#

Engage in Self-Reflection#

Taking Time to Self-Reflect#

Let Go of Expectations#

Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others#

Give Yourself Permission to Be Undecided and to Change#

Seeking Support for a Quarter-Life Crisis#