Table of ContentsTable of ContentsExpandHow to Ease Your Social AnxietyMake a Plan in AdvanceHow to Reconnect With PeopleHow to Make the Holiday Experience EasierTips for Maintaining Social ConnectionsView All

Table of ContentsExpandHow to Ease Your Social AnxietyMake a Plan in AdvanceHow to Reconnect With PeopleHow to Make the Holiday Experience EasierTips for Maintaining Social ConnectionsView All

Table of ContentsExpandHow to Ease Your Social AnxietyMake a Plan in AdvanceHow to Reconnect With PeopleHow to Make the Holiday Experience EasierTips for Maintaining Social Connections

Table of ContentsExpand

Expand

How to Ease Your Social Anxiety

Make a Plan in Advance

How to Reconnect With People

How to Make the Holiday Experience Easier

Tips for Maintaining Social Connections

View All

The holidays are a time of many gatherings. Meanwhile, reuniting with friends and family after a difficult two years is becoming a closer reality for many. If you are socially anxious, the thought of attending these events may fill you with dread.

“Social anxietyis more than just being shy or nervous around people. It’s a real condition that can cause significant distress,” says clinical psychologistDr. Nathan Brandon.

People who have social anxiety may worry for days or weeks before an event.They might even avoid going to holiday parties or get-togethers because they’re afraid they’ll do or say something wrong, be embarrassed, or be ridiculed.

Dr. Nathan BrandonSocial anxiety is more than just being shy or nervous around people. It’s a real condition that can cause significant distress.

Dr. Nathan Brandon

Social anxiety is more than just being shy or nervous around people. It’s a real condition that can cause significant distress.

And Brandon notes that thepandemichas only worsened things for those struggling with social anxiety.

“The pandemic has only exacerbated social anxiety for many people,” he says. “If you’re someone who already experiences social anxiety, you may have found yourself avoiding people and situations even more than usual. Or, you may be experiencing social anxiety for the first time.”

If you’re struggling with social anxiety, you’re not alone—and there are things you can do to ease your symptoms and make holiday gatherings more bearable.

Don’t Try to Push Yourself Too Far Outside of Your Comfort Zone

“Staying mindful of your social tank is the most important part of powering through the holiday season,” says licensed mental health counselorGinaMarie Guarino. “You need to maintain a level of social energy to get through the holidays, so emotionally and mentally prepping will be important.”

While gently pushing yourself outside your comfort zone is important, don’t try to do too much at once. You might want to set a goal of attending one holiday party or social event per week instead of every other day.

Seek Out Social Situations That Feel Safe

Think about what situations make you most anxious and try to put them off until you start feeling more comfortable. Instead, focus on attending gatherings that will give you a chance torebuild confidence.

GinaMarie Guarino, LMHCStaying mindful of your social tank is the most important part of powering through the holiday season.

GinaMarie Guarino, LMHC

Staying mindful of your social tank is the most important part of powering through the holiday season.

If you know you’re going to be attending a holiday party or gathering, it can help to make a plan in advance. “Make a plan ahead of time. Decide who you’re going to see, when, and for how long,” says Brandon.

Think about who will be at the event and what you’ll need to do or say when you see them. It can also be helpful to have an escape plan in place in case you start to feel overwhelmed.

Practice Relaxation Techniques Beforehand

There are a number ofrelaxation techniquesthat can help ease social anxiety, and it can be helpful to practice them beforehand.Deep breathing,progressive muscle relaxation, andvisualizationare all great options.

A 2018 systematic review and meta-analysis published in theArchives of Psychiatric Nursinginvestigated the effectiveness of relaxation techniques for people with anxiety disorders.Results of the study confirmed that relaxation techniques can be helpful in reducing anxiety symptoms.

Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself

It’s important to remember that you need to take care of yourself—both physically and emotionally—during this time.

Make sure to get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and eat a healthy diet. It’s also important to find ways to cope with your anxiety in a healthy manner. This might include talking to atherapist or counselor, attending asupport group, orjournaling about your thoughts and feelings.

The holidays can be a tough time for people who have been isolated from their loved ones due to the pandemic. Here are some tips on how to reach out and connect with them:

How Different Personality Types May Adapt to Life After COVID-19

What to Expect When Reconnecting With People During the Holidays

If you’re planning on reconnecting with people during the holidays, it’s important to be prepared for how things might have changed.

“I think there could be some tension in families where there is a lack of understanding or a lack of respect for theprecautionsthat some individuals have taken in the last two years,” says psychologist Lauren Napolitano.

“There is also the potential that some family members were using COVID precautions as a means of avoiding dreaded family events,” she adds. “This undercurrent of tension or awkwardness could heighten social anxiety for some people.”

There is also the potential that some family members were using COVID precautions as a means of avoiding dreaded family events.—LAUREN NAPOLITANO, PSYD

There is also the potential that some family members were using COVID precautions as a means of avoiding dreaded family events.

—LAUREN NAPOLITANO, PSYD

That’s OK—and it’s perfectly normal. The important thing is to be patient and understanding as you reconnect with people during this time. For example, if someone is social distancing or not hugging, try not to take it personally. Social anxiety can make you feel as though you’re being judged, but it’s important to remember that everyone is dealing with reconnecting in their own way. Most likely, their actions have nothing to do with you.

During the holidays, there will be more events and gatherings to reunite with friends and family that you may have been separated from because of COVID. For some people, this may cause a lot of anxiety and stress because of the fear of interacting with others. However, there are ways to make the experience less daunting and more enjoyable. Here are some tips:

Choose Your Events Wisely

Not every holiday event is worth your time and energy—so choose wisely. If you know that a certain event is going to be too overwhelming, it’s OK to skip it. Nobody will be offended, and you’ll be better off in the long run.

“It’s OK to say no if you don’t want to do something or you need a break. Setting boundaries and taking care of yourself are just as important when dealing with social anxiety,” Brandon says.

Set Limits for Yourself

“Set some short-term goals for yourself before going into any given situation, such as aholiday party,” Brandon says. “For example: “I’ll stay for an hour and then leave.”

Other ideas of short-term goals you can set for yourself include talking to three different people at a party or introducing yourself to one new person. Choose goals that are realistic and attainable for you.

Have an Exit Plan

“Knowing ahead of time when you need to take a break will help you get through an event. It’s also best not to over-schedule yourself,” Brandon says.

This might mean having a friend or family member on call who you can text if you need to leave, or having a backup plan for transportation.

Be Honest With People

“Rather than trying to act cool or confident,be openabout your social anxiety or the fact that your social skills have grown rusty since COVID. It’s likely that someone else at the event will be able to relate,” says Napolitano.

Let them know that you might need to take breaks, or that you might not be able to stay for the entire event.

Focus on Acceptance

“Everyone has an occasional slip-up and no one is perfect. Instead of letting that bother you, try to relax and practiceacceptance of yourselfas you are,” Brandon says. This can help you to feel more relaxed and less anxious.

How to Socialize When You Have Social Anxiety Disorder

Just because the holiday season is over, doesn’t mean that you have to stop staying connected with your friends and family. There are plenty of ways to stay connected all year round that will make future gatherings less anxiety-inducing.

No matter what, remember that staying connected with your friends and family is an important part of maintaining your mental health. Reach out and let people know that you’re thinking of them—it’ll make all the difference.

Living With Social Anxiety Disorder

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute of Mental Health.Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.Kim HS, Kim EJ.Effects of Relaxation Therapy on Anxiety Disorders: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis.Arch Psychiatr Nurs. 2018;32(2):278-284. doi:10.1016/j.apnu.2017.11.015Pilkington K, Wieland LS.Self-care for anxiety and depression: a comparison of evidence from Cochrane reviews and practice to inform decision-making and priority-setting.BMC Complement Med Ther. 2020;20(1):247. Published 2020 Aug 10. doi:10.1186/s12906-020-03038-8

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute of Mental Health.Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.Kim HS, Kim EJ.Effects of Relaxation Therapy on Anxiety Disorders: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis.Arch Psychiatr Nurs. 2018;32(2):278-284. doi:10.1016/j.apnu.2017.11.015Pilkington K, Wieland LS.Self-care for anxiety and depression: a comparison of evidence from Cochrane reviews and practice to inform decision-making and priority-setting.BMC Complement Med Ther. 2020;20(1):247. Published 2020 Aug 10. doi:10.1186/s12906-020-03038-8

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

National Institute of Mental Health.Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.Kim HS, Kim EJ.Effects of Relaxation Therapy on Anxiety Disorders: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis.Arch Psychiatr Nurs. 2018;32(2):278-284. doi:10.1016/j.apnu.2017.11.015Pilkington K, Wieland LS.Self-care for anxiety and depression: a comparison of evidence from Cochrane reviews and practice to inform decision-making and priority-setting.BMC Complement Med Ther. 2020;20(1):247. Published 2020 Aug 10. doi:10.1186/s12906-020-03038-8

National Institute of Mental Health.Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.

Kim HS, Kim EJ.Effects of Relaxation Therapy on Anxiety Disorders: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis.Arch Psychiatr Nurs. 2018;32(2):278-284. doi:10.1016/j.apnu.2017.11.015

Pilkington K, Wieland LS.Self-care for anxiety and depression: a comparison of evidence from Cochrane reviews and practice to inform decision-making and priority-setting.BMC Complement Med Ther. 2020;20(1):247. Published 2020 Aug 10. doi:10.1186/s12906-020-03038-8

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