Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsStatisticsCommon ProblemsSleep PositionsSleep TipsFAQs

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Statistics

Common Problems

Sleep Positions

Sleep Tips

FAQs

Close

Many marriage experts believe that peaceful sleeping together cankeep a marriage healthy.Why do people share a bed with a spouse when they would sleep better if they didn’t? Usually, the answer is that even if you don’t get the best night’s sleep, you find comfort and emotional intimacy in sleeping together.

If you can’t sleep well with your spouse, you are not alone. Many married couples have problems sharing a bed. If you are having difficulty getting a good night’s sleep because of your spouse’ssleeping habits, finding a solution is essential.

Sleeping Together Statistics for Married Couples

Common Sleep Problems for Couples

Many situations can create sleep problems for couples. Since sleep preferences are individualized, it can be tough to share this space and time.

Couples can disagree about or have different preferences for numerous factors, including those related to:

Sleep Positions for Couples

What’s a good sleeping position for couples? Fortunately, there are several from which to choose.

Spooning

When you can sleep together, many sleep experts recommend “spooning.“This is where you sleep nestled together like spoons, with one partner’s back against the other partner’s front. One study found that this is the most common position for couples at sleep onset.

Half-Spoon

If spooning isn’t comfortable for sleeping together, you can also try a half-spoon. This involves one partner sleeping with their head on the shoulder of the other. The half-spoon enables you to sleep next to each other yet still have a bit of room.

Intertwined

Back-to-Back

If spooning or intertwining when you sleep together makes it impossible to drift off, another option is to position yourself so you are back-to-back. Sleeping in this way doesn’t have to mean that you’re angry or have less of a connection. Instead, it can be a sign that you are both comfortable andconfident in your relationship.

Opposite Sides of the Bed

This is a good sleeping position for couples who want to share a bed, yet have different sleeping styles. If one person likes a lot of covers and the other doesn’t, for instance, you can each sleep the way you want but you’re still close enough to know that you’re there together.

Sometimes people worry if their spouse is sleeping with their back to them or seems too far away in the bed. Don’t jump to conclusions. Although sleep positions can be ared flag in a marriage, experts say there are no “good” or “bad” sleep positions for married couples.​

Why It’s Good to Sleep Next to Your Partner

Make Compromises When Sharing a Bed

What do you do if you and your spouse have different sleep preferences? Find ways to compromise about things like bedding, room temperature, andwhite noise. One solution may be theScandinavian sleep method, which involves using two individual blankets rather than a single shared one.

If that doesn’t work, be realistic and consider separate bedrooms or twin beds. When couples first start sleeping together, they are often willing to sacrifice comfort to be close to their partner. Over time, you might just want toget a good night’s sleepagain. Separate bedrooms or twin beds can help you achieve this goal, potentially saving your marriage in the process.

Frequently Asked Questions

While you can, research has found that sharing a bed with an infant is related to increased marital and co-parenting distress.Additionally, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies sleep alone for their own safety.

In some cases, sleeping on different schedules may be necessary, such as when working different shifts. However, this type of sleeping arrangement can potentially impact your relationship, decreasing your level of marital satisfaction.Finding other ways to stay connected when you can’t be together in bed can help keep your marriage happy.Learn More:7 Small Ways Spouses Can Stay Connected

In some cases, sleeping on different schedules may be necessary, such as when working different shifts. However, this type of sleeping arrangement can potentially impact your relationship, decreasing your level of marital satisfaction.Finding other ways to stay connected when you can’t be together in bed can help keep your marriage happy.

Learn More:7 Small Ways Spouses Can Stay Connected

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Troxel WM, Braithwaite SR, Sandberg JG, Holt-Lunstad J.Does improving marital quality improve sleep? Results from a marital therapy trial.Behav Sleep Med.2017;15(4):330-343. doi:10.1080/15402002.2015.1133420

The Better Sleep Council.Survey: American couples have trouble in bed.

Valtonen A, Närvänen E.The everyday intimacy of sleeping: An embodied analysis of intimate practices.Consump Markets Culture. 2015;19(4):370-386. doi:10.1080/10253866.2015.1088839

Junker I, Bergel J, Deresko E, Freund S, Schredl M.Sleep positions of couples at sleep onset: A questionnaire study.Int J Dream Res. 2016;9(2):137-141. doi:10.11588/ijodr.2016.2.32590

Sleep Foundation.Common sleeping positions for couples.

American Academy of Pediatrics.Tips for keeping infants safe during sleep from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Gunn H, Buysse D, Hasler B, Begley A, Troxel W.Sleep concordance in couples is associated with relationship characteristics.Sleep. 2015;38(6):933-939. doi:10.5665/sleep.4744

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?