Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsBuild Social AwarenessPracticeCreate Opportunities for FriendshipWork With Your Child’s SchoolUse ADHD-Friendly Approaches

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Build Social Awareness

Practice

Create Opportunities for Friendship

Work With Your Child’s School

Use ADHD-Friendly Approaches

Close

Having positive peer relationships and friendships is important for all children. Unfortunately, many kids with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) have a hard timemaking and keeping friendsand being accepted within the larger peer group. The impulsiveness, hyperactivity, and inattention associated with ADHD can wreak havoc on a child’s attempts to connect with others in positive ways.

At a GlanceRemember, ADHD is a form ofneurodiversity, not a problem to be “cured.” To help kids with ADHD improve their social skills, focus on:Developing stronger social awarenessRole-playing and modeling social situations to get extra practiceCreating opportunities for kids to build friendshipsWorking with teachers and coaches to boost a child’s status with their peersBuilding social awareness and managing their ADHD traits can help them form and maintain stronginterpersonal relationships. Because they may struggle with aspects ofexecutive function(like taking other people’s perspectives and initiating conversations), practicing those skills can be beneficial.

At a Glance

Remember, ADHD is a form ofneurodiversity, not a problem to be “cured.” To help kids with ADHD improve their social skills, focus on:Developing stronger social awarenessRole-playing and modeling social situations to get extra practiceCreating opportunities for kids to build friendshipsWorking with teachers and coaches to boost a child’s status with their peersBuilding social awareness and managing their ADHD traits can help them form and maintain stronginterpersonal relationships. Because they may struggle with aspects ofexecutive function(like taking other people’s perspectives and initiating conversations), practicing those skills can be beneficial.

Remember, ADHD is a form ofneurodiversity, not a problem to be “cured.” To help kids with ADHD improve their social skills, focus on:

Building social awareness and managing their ADHD traits can help them form and maintain stronginterpersonal relationships. Because they may struggle with aspects ofexecutive function(like taking other people’s perspectives and initiating conversations), practicing those skills can be beneficial.

The Neurodivergent Guide to Socializing

Increasing Your Child’s Social Awareness

Research suggests that children with ADHD tend to struggle when it comes to monitoring their own social behavior.They often do not have a clear understanding or awareness of social situations and the reactions they provoke in others. They may feel that an interaction with a peer went well, for example, when it did not.

ADHD-related difficulties can result in weaknesses in this ability to accurately assess or “read” a social situation, self-evaluate, self-monitor, and adjust as necessary. These skills must be taught directly to your child.

ADHD characteristics like inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness can affect a child’s ability to form helpful social skills.

Plus, other kids might misunderstand or misinterpret your child’s behavior. Lack of attention is sometimes seen as passivity or shyness. Impulsivity and hyperactivity may be seen as aggressiveness.

Working with your child to learn some of these skills and become more aware of how others may perceive their behavior can be helpful

Teach Skills Directly and Practice, Practice, Practice

Children with ADHD tend to have a hard time learning from past experiences. They often react without thinking through the consequences.One way to help these kids is to provide immediate and frequent feedback about inappropriate behavior or social miscues. Role-playing can be very helpful for teaching, modeling, and practicing positive social skills and ways to respond to challenging situations like teasing.

Many kids with ADHD have difficulty with the basics, like starting and maintaining a conversation or interacting with another person in a reciprocal manner.For example:

Clearly identify and give information to your child about social rules and the behaviors you want to see. Practice theseprosocial skills. Shape positive behaviors with immediate rewards.

8 Simple Strategies for Students With ADHD

Create Opportunities to Build Friendships

For preschool and elementary school-age children, play dates provide a wonderful opportunity for parents to coach and model positive peer interactions for their child and for the child to practice these new skills.Set up these playtimes between your child and one or two friends at a time—rather than a group of friends. Structure the playtime so that your child can be most successful.

Think of yourself as your child’s “friendship coach.” Carefully consider the length of time a playdate will run and choose activities that will keep your child most interested.

Middle or high schoolers who have experiencedsocial isolationand repeatedrejectionmay feel desperate to belong to any peer group that accepts them—even one with a negative influence.

Research and get involved in groups in your community that foster positive peer relationships and social skills development like Boy Scouts, Indian Guides, Girl Scouts, Girls on the Run, sports teams, etc. Make sure the group leaders or coaches are familiar with ADHD and can create a supportive and positive environment for learning prosocial skills.

Communicate with the school, coaches, and neighborhood parents so you know what is going on with your child and with whom your child is spending time. A child’s peer group and the characteristics of this group have a strong influence on the individuals within the group.

Work With the School to Improve Peer Status

Establish a positive working relationship with your child’s teacher. Tell them about your child’s areas of strength and interests, as well as what they’ve been struggling with. Share any strategies you’ve found helpful when working on your child’s areas of weakness.

Young children often look to their teacher when forming social preferences about their peers. A teacher’s warmth, patience, acceptance, and gentle redirection can serve as a model for the peer group and have some effect on a child’s social status.

When a child has experienced failures in the classroom, it becomes even more and more important for the child’s teacher to consciously find ways to draw positive attention to that child. One way to do this is to assign the child special tasks and responsibilities in the presence of the other children in the classroom.

Make sure these are responsibilities in which your child can experience success and develop better feelings ofself-worthand acceptance within the classroom. Doing this also provides opportunities for the peer group to view your child in a positive light and may help to stop the group process of peer rejection.

Pairing the child up with a compassionate “buddy” within the classroom can also help facilitate social acceptance.

Collaborate with your child’s teacher to make sure the classroom environment is as “ADHD-friendly” as possible so that your child is better able to manageADHD symptoms. Work together with the teacher (and coach or another adult caregiver) on effective behavior management approaches, as well as social skills training.

Medication, when appropriate, is often helpful in reducing the negative behaviors that peers find off-putting.If your child is on medication to help manage symptoms of ADHD, be sure to work closely and collaboratively with your child’s doctor. For the medication to provide the optimal benefit that it can in helping to manage thecore ADHD symptoms, there is often an ongoing need to monitor, fine-tune, and make adjustments along the way.

Social skills training has been criticized for notaffirming neurodiversity. A 2019 Cochrane Library review did not find any harmful effects; however, it found little evidence to support or refute whether social skills training was helpful.

Takeaways

Some characteristics of ADHD, such as impulsivity and problems with executive function, can sometimes affect a child’s ability to make and keep friends. This can lead to social exclusion, which can have a devasting effect on a child’s confidence and well-being. There are things you can do to help your child build their social skills, including practicing interactions, offering them opportunities to make friends, and ensuring their school is a safe, supportive, and encouraging space. With the right support and accommodations, kids can forge meaningful social relationships with their peers.

18 Strategies to Help Students with ADHD

9 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Bunford N, Evans SW, Langberg JM.Emotion dysregulation is associated with social impairment among young adolescents with ADHD.J Atten Disord. 2018;22(1):66-82. doi:10.1177/1087054714527793Sluiter MN, Groen Y, de Jonge P, Tucha O.Exploring neuropsychological effects of a self-monitoring intervention for ADHD-symptoms in school.Applied Neuropsychology: Child. 2020;9(3):246-258. doi:10.1080/21622965.2019.1575218Storebø OJ, Elmose Andersen M, Skoog M, et al.Social skills training for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children aged 5 to 18 years.Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2019;6(6):CD008223. doi:10.1002/14651858.CD008223.pub3Gardner DM, Gerdes AC.A review of peer relationships and friendships in youth with ADHD.J Atten Disord. 2015;19(10):844-55. doi:10.1177/1087054713501552Mikami AY, Smit S, Khalis A.Social skills training and ADHD-What works?.Curr Psychiatry Rep.2017;19(12):93. doi:10.1007/s11920-017-0850-2Wilkes-gillan S, Bundy A, Cordier R, Lincoln M, Chen YW.A randomised controlled trial of a play-based intervention to improve the social play skills of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).PLoS ONE. 2016;11(8):e0160558. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0160558Mikami, AY.The importance of social contextual factors in peer relationships of children with ADHD.Curr Dev Disord Rep. 2015;2(1):30-37. doi:10.1007/s40474-014-0036-0Golmirzaei J, Mahboobi H, Yazdanparast M, Mushtaq G, Kamal MA, Hamzei E.Psychopharmacology of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: Effects and side effects.Curr Pharm Des. 2016;22(5):590-4. doi:10.2174/1381612822666151124235816Storebø OJ, Elmose Andersen M, Skoog M, et al.Social skills training for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children aged 5 to 18 years.Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2019;6(6):CD008223. doi:10.1002/14651858.CD008223.pub3

9 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Bunford N, Evans SW, Langberg JM.Emotion dysregulation is associated with social impairment among young adolescents with ADHD.J Atten Disord. 2018;22(1):66-82. doi:10.1177/1087054714527793Sluiter MN, Groen Y, de Jonge P, Tucha O.Exploring neuropsychological effects of a self-monitoring intervention for ADHD-symptoms in school.Applied Neuropsychology: Child. 2020;9(3):246-258. doi:10.1080/21622965.2019.1575218Storebø OJ, Elmose Andersen M, Skoog M, et al.Social skills training for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children aged 5 to 18 years.Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2019;6(6):CD008223. doi:10.1002/14651858.CD008223.pub3Gardner DM, Gerdes AC.A review of peer relationships and friendships in youth with ADHD.J Atten Disord. 2015;19(10):844-55. doi:10.1177/1087054713501552Mikami AY, Smit S, Khalis A.Social skills training and ADHD-What works?.Curr Psychiatry Rep.2017;19(12):93. doi:10.1007/s11920-017-0850-2Wilkes-gillan S, Bundy A, Cordier R, Lincoln M, Chen YW.A randomised controlled trial of a play-based intervention to improve the social play skills of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).PLoS ONE. 2016;11(8):e0160558. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0160558Mikami, AY.The importance of social contextual factors in peer relationships of children with ADHD.Curr Dev Disord Rep. 2015;2(1):30-37. doi:10.1007/s40474-014-0036-0Golmirzaei J, Mahboobi H, Yazdanparast M, Mushtaq G, Kamal MA, Hamzei E.Psychopharmacology of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: Effects and side effects.Curr Pharm Des. 2016;22(5):590-4. doi:10.2174/1381612822666151124235816Storebø OJ, Elmose Andersen M, Skoog M, et al.Social skills training for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children aged 5 to 18 years.Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2019;6(6):CD008223. doi:10.1002/14651858.CD008223.pub3

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Bunford N, Evans SW, Langberg JM.Emotion dysregulation is associated with social impairment among young adolescents with ADHD.J Atten Disord. 2018;22(1):66-82. doi:10.1177/1087054714527793Sluiter MN, Groen Y, de Jonge P, Tucha O.Exploring neuropsychological effects of a self-monitoring intervention for ADHD-symptoms in school.Applied Neuropsychology: Child. 2020;9(3):246-258. doi:10.1080/21622965.2019.1575218Storebø OJ, Elmose Andersen M, Skoog M, et al.Social skills training for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children aged 5 to 18 years.Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2019;6(6):CD008223. doi:10.1002/14651858.CD008223.pub3Gardner DM, Gerdes AC.A review of peer relationships and friendships in youth with ADHD.J Atten Disord. 2015;19(10):844-55. doi:10.1177/1087054713501552Mikami AY, Smit S, Khalis A.Social skills training and ADHD-What works?.Curr Psychiatry Rep.2017;19(12):93. doi:10.1007/s11920-017-0850-2Wilkes-gillan S, Bundy A, Cordier R, Lincoln M, Chen YW.A randomised controlled trial of a play-based intervention to improve the social play skills of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).PLoS ONE. 2016;11(8):e0160558. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0160558Mikami, AY.The importance of social contextual factors in peer relationships of children with ADHD.Curr Dev Disord Rep. 2015;2(1):30-37. doi:10.1007/s40474-014-0036-0Golmirzaei J, Mahboobi H, Yazdanparast M, Mushtaq G, Kamal MA, Hamzei E.Psychopharmacology of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: Effects and side effects.Curr Pharm Des. 2016;22(5):590-4. doi:10.2174/1381612822666151124235816Storebø OJ, Elmose Andersen M, Skoog M, et al.Social skills training for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children aged 5 to 18 years.Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2019;6(6):CD008223. doi:10.1002/14651858.CD008223.pub3

Bunford N, Evans SW, Langberg JM.Emotion dysregulation is associated with social impairment among young adolescents with ADHD.J Atten Disord. 2018;22(1):66-82. doi:10.1177/1087054714527793

Sluiter MN, Groen Y, de Jonge P, Tucha O.Exploring neuropsychological effects of a self-monitoring intervention for ADHD-symptoms in school.Applied Neuropsychology: Child. 2020;9(3):246-258. doi:10.1080/21622965.2019.1575218

Storebø OJ, Elmose Andersen M, Skoog M, et al.Social skills training for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children aged 5 to 18 years.Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2019;6(6):CD008223. doi:10.1002/14651858.CD008223.pub3

Gardner DM, Gerdes AC.A review of peer relationships and friendships in youth with ADHD.J Atten Disord. 2015;19(10):844-55. doi:10.1177/1087054713501552

Mikami AY, Smit S, Khalis A.Social skills training and ADHD-What works?.Curr Psychiatry Rep.2017;19(12):93. doi:10.1007/s11920-017-0850-2

Wilkes-gillan S, Bundy A, Cordier R, Lincoln M, Chen YW.A randomised controlled trial of a play-based intervention to improve the social play skills of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).PLoS ONE. 2016;11(8):e0160558. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0160558

Mikami, AY.The importance of social contextual factors in peer relationships of children with ADHD.Curr Dev Disord Rep. 2015;2(1):30-37. doi:10.1007/s40474-014-0036-0

Golmirzaei J, Mahboobi H, Yazdanparast M, Mushtaq G, Kamal MA, Hamzei E.Psychopharmacology of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: Effects and side effects.Curr Pharm Des. 2016;22(5):590-4. doi:10.2174/1381612822666151124235816

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