Signs a Relationship Could Turn Violent or Deadly

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsRisk FactorsWarning SignsProtective FactorsEffects

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Risk Factors

Warning Signs

Protective Factors

Effects

Most relationships don’t start off abusive or violent, and many intimate relationships never becomeabusive. Unfortunately, some do. Research suggests that certain factors may be present early on that serve as predictors of physical abuse in a relationship.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that about one in four women and one in ten men experience intimate partner physical violence during their lifetime.

At a GlanceIt isn’t always possible to tell whether physical abuse in a relationship might become a problem, but certain factors can increase the risk of intimate partner violence. Individual factors like aggression, economic stress, poor self-esteem, and impulsivity can play a role. Regardless of the causes, it’s essential to be aware of the red flags that a relationship might become violent and what to do if you feel like your safety and life are at risk.

At a Glance

It isn’t always possible to tell whether physical abuse in a relationship might become a problem, but certain factors can increase the risk of intimate partner violence. Individual factors like aggression, economic stress, poor self-esteem, and impulsivity can play a role. Regardless of the causes, it’s essential to be aware of the red flags that a relationship might become violent and what to do if you feel like your safety and life are at risk.

Risk Factors for Physical Abuse in a Relationship

A number of different risk factors have been implicated in intimate partner violence. Some of these are individual risk factors, while others relate to aspects of the relationship itself. Societal and community influences can also play a part.

Individual Risk Factors

According to the CDC, the following individual risk factors play a role in a person becoming a perpetrator of intimate partner violence:

People who become violent toward their romantic partners also often have ahistory of physical and emotional abuse as children.

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Relationship Risk Factors

People whowitnessed relationship violence as childrenare also more likely to either become victims or perpetrators of domestic violence as adults.

Community and Societal Factors

The CDC also notes that a number of factors at the community and societal levels also increase the risk of domestic violence.At the community level, poverty, high unemployment rates, high crime rates, easy access to drugs, and low community involvement all contribute to an increased risk for relationship violence.

At the societal level, cultural norms,toxic masculinity, and gender expectations that suggest that men should be dominant and in charge of providing financial support and that women should be submissive and not enter the workforce also play a part in relationship violence.

Though these problematic binary gender roles can contribute to violence in heterosexual relationships, that certainly doesn’t precludeLGBTQ+ relationshipsfrom intimate partner violence.

Relationship Violence Warning Signs

It can be very challenging at the outset of a relationship to know if someone will become abusive or violent. While risk factors may be present, intimate partner violence can affect people from all walks of life. It is important not toblame the victim.

While you can never know with certainty, there are some signs to watch out for that may foretell whether a relationship that starts off seemingly happy and healthy is likely to become abusive. Some of these red flags include:

In these cases, love-bombing often follows an argument or even an episode of verbal abuse or physical violence. The goal of the behavior is to make the recipient of the affection feel dependent and obliged to stay in the relationship.

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Protective Factors Against Relationship Violence

There are a number of factors that may help protect people against intimate partner violence. Having positive relationships with other people and a strong social support network can help.

The CDC also suggests that a number of community factors can help reduce domestic violence.Community involvement, safe and stable housing, access to medical and mental health services, and community economic resources may all play a protective role.

A 2018 systematic review found that among older adults, the three main protective factors against abuse were social support, help-seeking behavior, and the availability of community resources to address abuse.

One key is to be aware of anything that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable and to address those issues with your partner early on, even in an otherwise positive relationship. This practice may help ward off a situation that could progress toward domestic violence. It’s encouraging if your partner is receptive to your concerns, but less so if they are overly dismissive or defensive.

If there are warning signs or behaviors that make you feel unsafe and your partner refuses to acknowledge them, explore them, or stay open to taking steps to address them, it is important to consider your safety and consider ending the relationship. Seek support from friends and family and call a domestic violence hotline if you need support or help to make a plan to leave the relationship.

RecapCommunity resources and social support can play an important role in the prevention of relationship violence. If you spot signs that your relationship might become violent, make sure you have support from family and friends and turn to resources in your community for help.

Recap

Community resources and social support can play an important role in the prevention of relationship violence. If you spot signs that your relationship might become violent, make sure you have support from family and friends and turn to resources in your community for help.

Effects of Physical Abuse in a Relationship

Relationship violence has a wide range of negative effects on people who experience abuse. The World Health Organization (WHO) notes that the health consequences of relationship violence include:

Children who grow up in households where relationship violence occurs are also more likely to experience a range of emotional and behavioral problems.

Signs That Indicate a Risk for Homicide

Unfortunately, relationship violence may escalate to homicide in some cases. In many cases, the most dangerous time for those involved in abusive relationships is when they try to leave.Signs that may indicate a higher risk of homicide include:

Research also suggests that 20% of people killed as a result of intimate partner violence were not the abuse victims themselves but were instead people who knew the victim, such as family members, friends, police officers, and new romantic partners.

It is important not to minimize the seriousness of intimate partner violence, but it is also essential to acknowledge the difficulty in addressing it. Reaching out to people who are knowledgeable and trained to deal with domestic violence can be an important step.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Takeaway

If you are in a violent relationship, it is important to carefully develop asafe plan to leave, rather than simply leaving on impulse or in the heat of an incident. Get help from experienced professionals who can guide you in creating a safe escape plan. Learn all you can about the dangers of trying to leave and how to develop a safety plan.

If you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, be careful about giving them advice, such as, “You need to get out of there immediately!” Learn all you can about domestic violence, how to recognizethe signs of abuse,how to help someone who is being abused, and the need for a carefully planned and safe escape.

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14 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).Fast facts: Preventing intimate partner violence.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey.U.S. Department of Justice.Nonfatal domestic violence, 2003-2012.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Risk and protective factors for perpetration.Widom CS, Czaja S, Dutton MA.Child abuse and neglect and intimate partner violence victimization and perpetration: A prospective investigation.Child Abuse Negl. 2014;38(4):650-663. doi:10.1016/j.chiabu.2013.11.004National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.Signs of abuse.National Institutes of Health.Alcohol and violence.Strutzenberg CC, Wiersma-Mosley JD, Jozkowski KN, Becnel JN.Love-bombing: A narcissistic approach to relationship formation.Discovery Journal.2017;18(1):81-89.Gerino E, Caldarera AM, Curti L, Brustia P, Rollè L.Intimate partner violence in the golden age: Systematic review of risk and protective factors.Front Psychol. 2018;9:1595. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01595World Health Organization.Violence against women.U.S. Department of Justice.Extent, nature, and consequences of intimate partner violence.State of Colorado Attorney General.Colorado Domestic Violence Fatality Review Board.Smith SG, Fowler KA, Niolon PH.Intimate partner homicide and corollary victims in 16 states: National Violent Death Reporting System, 2003-2009.Am J Public Health. 2014;104(3):461-6. doi:10.2105/AJPH.2013.301582National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.Personalized safety plan.

14 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).Fast facts: Preventing intimate partner violence.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey.U.S. Department of Justice.Nonfatal domestic violence, 2003-2012.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Risk and protective factors for perpetration.Widom CS, Czaja S, Dutton MA.Child abuse and neglect and intimate partner violence victimization and perpetration: A prospective investigation.Child Abuse Negl. 2014;38(4):650-663. doi:10.1016/j.chiabu.2013.11.004National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.Signs of abuse.National Institutes of Health.Alcohol and violence.Strutzenberg CC, Wiersma-Mosley JD, Jozkowski KN, Becnel JN.Love-bombing: A narcissistic approach to relationship formation.Discovery Journal.2017;18(1):81-89.Gerino E, Caldarera AM, Curti L, Brustia P, Rollè L.Intimate partner violence in the golden age: Systematic review of risk and protective factors.Front Psychol. 2018;9:1595. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01595World Health Organization.Violence against women.U.S. Department of Justice.Extent, nature, and consequences of intimate partner violence.State of Colorado Attorney General.Colorado Domestic Violence Fatality Review Board.Smith SG, Fowler KA, Niolon PH.Intimate partner homicide and corollary victims in 16 states: National Violent Death Reporting System, 2003-2009.Am J Public Health. 2014;104(3):461-6. doi:10.2105/AJPH.2013.301582National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.Personalized safety plan.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).Fast facts: Preventing intimate partner violence.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey.U.S. Department of Justice.Nonfatal domestic violence, 2003-2012.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Risk and protective factors for perpetration.Widom CS, Czaja S, Dutton MA.Child abuse and neglect and intimate partner violence victimization and perpetration: A prospective investigation.Child Abuse Negl. 2014;38(4):650-663. doi:10.1016/j.chiabu.2013.11.004National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.Signs of abuse.National Institutes of Health.Alcohol and violence.Strutzenberg CC, Wiersma-Mosley JD, Jozkowski KN, Becnel JN.Love-bombing: A narcissistic approach to relationship formation.Discovery Journal.2017;18(1):81-89.Gerino E, Caldarera AM, Curti L, Brustia P, Rollè L.Intimate partner violence in the golden age: Systematic review of risk and protective factors.Front Psychol. 2018;9:1595. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01595World Health Organization.Violence against women.U.S. Department of Justice.Extent, nature, and consequences of intimate partner violence.State of Colorado Attorney General.Colorado Domestic Violence Fatality Review Board.Smith SG, Fowler KA, Niolon PH.Intimate partner homicide and corollary victims in 16 states: National Violent Death Reporting System, 2003-2009.Am J Public Health. 2014;104(3):461-6. doi:10.2105/AJPH.2013.301582National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.Personalized safety plan.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).Fast facts: Preventing intimate partner violence.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey.

U.S. Department of Justice.Nonfatal domestic violence, 2003-2012.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Risk and protective factors for perpetration.

Widom CS, Czaja S, Dutton MA.Child abuse and neglect and intimate partner violence victimization and perpetration: A prospective investigation.Child Abuse Negl. 2014;38(4):650-663. doi:10.1016/j.chiabu.2013.11.004

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.Signs of abuse.

National Institutes of Health.Alcohol and violence.

Strutzenberg CC, Wiersma-Mosley JD, Jozkowski KN, Becnel JN.Love-bombing: A narcissistic approach to relationship formation.Discovery Journal.2017;18(1):81-89.

Gerino E, Caldarera AM, Curti L, Brustia P, Rollè L.Intimate partner violence in the golden age: Systematic review of risk and protective factors.Front Psychol. 2018;9:1595. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01595

World Health Organization.Violence against women.

U.S. Department of Justice.Extent, nature, and consequences of intimate partner violence.

State of Colorado Attorney General.Colorado Domestic Violence Fatality Review Board.

Smith SG, Fowler KA, Niolon PH.Intimate partner homicide and corollary victims in 16 states: National Violent Death Reporting System, 2003-2009.Am J Public Health. 2014;104(3):461-6. doi:10.2105/AJPH.2013.301582

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.Personalized safety plan.

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