Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy Sharing May Be HelpfulWhy You May Not Want to ShareHow to Talk to Your Partner About Therapy

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Why Sharing May Be Helpful

Why You May Not Want to Share

How to Talk to Your Partner About Therapy

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Did you make a breakthrough intherapythat you would like to share with your partner? Are you mulling over something your therapist said that you would like your partner’s input on? Have you and your therapist been working on relationship issues that you think you might want to talk to your partner about? Has your partner ever asked you about your therapy sessions?

All of these scenarios can make you wonder whether you should tell your partner about what happens in therapy.

Verywell Mind askedSabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University, who specializes in issues related to relationships, to weigh in.

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyDThere are no rules about how you share or maintain boundaries around the work you do in therapy. This is a highly personal decision that depends on you, your boundaries, your relationship with your partner, and the issues you’re working on in therapy.

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD

There are no rules about how you share or maintain boundaries around the work you do in therapy. This is a highly personal decision that depends on you, your boundaries, your relationship with your partner, and the issues you’re working on in therapy.

This article explores some of the reasons why you may or may not want to tell your partner what happens in therapy, as well as some dos and don’ts that can help you have this conversation with your partner.

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Reasons Why Sharing May Be Helpful

Dr. Romanoff shares some of the advantages of telling your partner what happens in therapy:

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Reasons Why You May Not Want to Share

While there can be advantages to telling your partnerwhat happens in therapy, there may be valid reasons why you may not want to share. According to Dr. Romanoff, these can include:

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyDTherapy is a private space and it’s up to you to decide what you’re comfortable sharing with your partner.

Therapy is a private space and it’s up to you to decide what you’re comfortable sharing with your partner.

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If you feel like you might want to share what happens in therapy with your partner, Dr. Romanoff suggests some strategies that can help you discuss it.

Examine Your Motives for Sharing

It’s important to question your motives for telling your partner about what’s happening in your therapy sessions. People sometimes feel coerced into sharing what they’re working on.

The decision to share what happens in therapy should come from the person who is in therapy and not from their partner. There should be no pressure from their partner to do so.

Decide How Much You Want to Share

It’s up to you to decide how much you want to share with your partner. For example, if you do decide you want to share sensitive content with your partner, you can choose to share a select piece of information or give them a brief summary of what you are working on, instead of going in-depth.

Don’t Feel Obligated to Keep Sharing

While you might feel comfortable sharing what happens in therapy at one point, you might be in a different place down the line and should not feel compelled to keep an open door of your therapeutic process for your partner.

Never feel pressured to share more than you’re comfortable disclosing, and don’t feel like there is a precedent on sharing after each session.

Avoid Attacking Your Partner

Share What’s Important to You

If you are sharing, make sure the content is centric to you, your feelings, and your thoughts around what you’re working on.

You can either just share the content and not frame it as something you’re working on in therapy (to simplify the conversation and distill the information in a streamlined way), or you could explain to your partner the significance this topic has for you, given the time you’ve devoted to it in therapy.

Either way, the information should take precedence over the fact that this was discussed in therapy.

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A Word From Verywell

Therapy is a private experience where you discuss your deepest fears and most intimate thoughts and issues with aqualified professionalwho can help you process them and cope with them.

You can choose to tell your partner what happens in therapy, in order to get their take on it or simply to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with them. However, it’s important to do it because you want to deepen your relationship with them and not out of a sense of obligation or as a means to attack your partner.

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Should I Ask My Partner About Their Therapy Sessions?

2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Reczek C, Thomeer MB, Gebhardt-Kram L, Umberson D.“Go see somebody”: How spouses promote mental health care.Soc Ment Health. 2020;10(1):80-96. doi:10.1177/2156869319834335Mokoena AG, Poggenpoel M, Myburgh C, Temane A.Lived experiences of couples in a relationship where one partner is diagnosed with a mental illness.Curationis. 2019;42(1):e1-e7. doi:10.4102/curationis.v42i1.2015

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Reczek C, Thomeer MB, Gebhardt-Kram L, Umberson D.“Go see somebody”: How spouses promote mental health care.Soc Ment Health. 2020;10(1):80-96. doi:10.1177/2156869319834335Mokoena AG, Poggenpoel M, Myburgh C, Temane A.Lived experiences of couples in a relationship where one partner is diagnosed with a mental illness.Curationis. 2019;42(1):e1-e7. doi:10.4102/curationis.v42i1.2015

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Reczek C, Thomeer MB, Gebhardt-Kram L, Umberson D.“Go see somebody”: How spouses promote mental health care.Soc Ment Health. 2020;10(1):80-96. doi:10.1177/2156869319834335Mokoena AG, Poggenpoel M, Myburgh C, Temane A.Lived experiences of couples in a relationship where one partner is diagnosed with a mental illness.Curationis. 2019;42(1):e1-e7. doi:10.4102/curationis.v42i1.2015

Reczek C, Thomeer MB, Gebhardt-Kram L, Umberson D.“Go see somebody”: How spouses promote mental health care.Soc Ment Health. 2020;10(1):80-96. doi:10.1177/2156869319834335

Mokoena AG, Poggenpoel M, Myburgh C, Temane A.Lived experiences of couples in a relationship where one partner is diagnosed with a mental illness.Curationis. 2019;42(1):e1-e7. doi:10.4102/curationis.v42i1.2015

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