Poor Communication Skills Can Lead to Loads of Stress—Here's What to Do

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsHalf Listening, Listening to Respond, Or Not Listening At AllPassive-Aggressive CommunicationAggressive Communication Is Definitely Stress-Inducing"

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Half Listening, Listening to Respond, Or Not Listening At All

Passive-Aggressive Communication

Aggressive Communication Is Definitely Stress-Inducing"

Healthy relationships can feel so good and even bring us some much-needed stress relief.When communication is open and clear, small problems are dealt with quickly and easily, and the relationship moves on.

Sadly, toxic relationships are totally different. In fact, these relationships can be the biggest creators of stress. Often, toxic relationships (toxic friendships exist too), involve lots of poor communication. When communication is less healthy, stress ensues,small problems can become larger problems and resentment can grow.

At a GlanceBettering our relationships often starts with working on our communication skills. There are some communication strategies (like tuning each other out) that should be avoided completely and others can make us feel more validated and heard. Implementing healthier communication strategies can improve our relationships and relieve stress.

At a Glance

Bettering our relationships often starts with working on our communication skills. There are some communication strategies (like tuning each other out) that should be avoided completely and others can make us feel more validated and heard. Implementing healthier communication strategies can improve our relationships and relieve stress.

There are several forms of poor listening, and they all wear away at relationships in one way or another.

A few types of poor listening include:

Why These Types of Poor Listening Styles Stress Us Out

When we aren’t listening well (or at all), one partner can easily feel that their time is wasted. Think of how stressful it is when you’re venting to your friend but all they can do is keep looking at their phone while you’re speaking. That feeling not only sucks, but it’s also stressful. Instead of venting, you’ll have to spend time asking your friend to put their phone away and listen. Or, you may just give up and not speak about your stress at all. Because what’s the use right?

What to Try InsteadWe’ve all been bad listeners at one point or another. But since you’re here reading this article, it’s clear you’re looking to improve—kudos to you!If you’ve been called out for half listening or not listening, try to be present, first and foremost, when you communicate.Use active listening strategies like repeating back what you understand of what the other person has said. Try to validate feelings, and try to be sure you’re truly listening as much as you’d like to be heard. It’s more than worth the effort.Sometimes, you’ll even be stressed and won’t have the bandwidth or patience to really listen to someone else. When this happens, it’s better if we let the person know of another time we’ll be able to chat.

What to Try Instead

We’ve all been bad listeners at one point or another. But since you’re here reading this article, it’s clear you’re looking to improve—kudos to you!If you’ve been called out for half listening or not listening, try to be present, first and foremost, when you communicate.Use active listening strategies like repeating back what you understand of what the other person has said. Try to validate feelings, and try to be sure you’re truly listening as much as you’d like to be heard. It’s more than worth the effort.Sometimes, you’ll even be stressed and won’t have the bandwidth or patience to really listen to someone else. When this happens, it’s better if we let the person know of another time we’ll be able to chat.

We’ve all been bad listeners at one point or another. But since you’re here reading this article, it’s clear you’re looking to improve—kudos to you!

If you’ve been called out for half listening or not listening, try to be present, first and foremost, when you communicate.

Use active listening strategies like repeating back what you understand of what the other person has said. Try to validate feelings, and try to be sure you’re truly listening as much as you’d like to be heard. It’s more than worth the effort.

Sometimes, you’ll even be stressed and won’t have the bandwidth or patience to really listen to someone else. When this happens, it’s better if we let the person know of another time we’ll be able to chat.

Strengthen Friendships With Good Listening Skills

Passive aggressiveness can also show itself through constant disagreement over small issues, particularly in front of others.

This Is Why Passive-Aggressiveness Makes Us So Mad and Stressed

It’s been shown that passive-aggressive personality disorder (PAPD) leads to interpersonal stress and dysfunction.

Also,passive-aggressivenesscan make us upset because it is hard to address. For instance, it can be easily denied, creating a “gaslighting” situation.

Moreover, when someone is being passive-aggressive with us, it feels as if we’re communicating with someone who wants to make us feel bad or doesn’t really care about us. Being on the receiving end of this kind of pettiness nevereverfeels good.

Again, active listening can help here. Assertive communication, where you directly discuss if you have a disagreement or an issue with someone, is also helpful. Using “I statements” (e.g., “I feel frustrated when…") can help others understand how you feel as well.

If you start to feel like someone isgaslightingyou, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship you have with them.

Am I Being Gaslighted? Take the Quiz

Hostile and Aggressive Communication Is Definitely Stress-Inducing

Aggressive communication involves overtly hostile communication, including criticism or even name-calling. It devalues the other person overtly, leaving people feeling defensive and leaving no veil over the overt conflict.

This is a form ofverbal abuseand is something that no one should ever tolerate in a relationship.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Why Aggressive Communication Can Be So Hurtful and Stressful

It never feels good to be attacked. Those using aggressive communication tactics are more interested in power and “winning” rather than coming to an understanding. This brings the conflict to a new level and makes mutual understanding elusive.

What to Try InsteadIf you find yourself on thereceiving end of aggressivenessand can’t get the person to understand your perspective, it may be time to distance yourself anduse assertive communication techniqueswhen necessary.Setting boundariesis a must.If you’re communicating with someone and feel as if you’re about to say something mean, it’s best to walk away and return to the conversation later.

If you find yourself on thereceiving end of aggressivenessand can’t get the person to understand your perspective, it may be time to distance yourself anduse assertive communication techniqueswhen necessary.Setting boundariesis a must.If you’re communicating with someone and feel as if you’re about to say something mean, it’s best to walk away and return to the conversation later.

If you’re communicating with someone and feel as if you’re about to say something mean, it’s best to walk away and return to the conversation later.

What This Means For YouAll of us can benefit from better communication skills and doing so will reduce so much unnecessary stress in our lives.If you’re struggling to communicate in a healthy way, reach out to a mental health professional.

What This Means For You

All of us can benefit from better communication skills and doing so will reduce so much unnecessary stress in our lives.If you’re struggling to communicate in a healthy way, reach out to a mental health professional.

All of us can benefit from better communication skills and doing so will reduce so much unnecessary stress in our lives.

If you’re struggling to communicate in a healthy way, reach out to a mental health professional.

How Ted Lasso Models Healthy Communication and Confrontation

2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cohen D, Rollnick S, Smail S, Kinnersley P, Houston H, Edwards K.Communication, stress and distress: evolution of an individual support programme for medical students and doctors.Med Educ. 2005;39(5):476-481. doi:10.1111/j.1365-2929.2005.02122.xLaverdière O, Ogrodniczuk JS, Kealy D.Interpersonal Problems Associated With Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder.J Nerv Ment Dis. 2019;207(10):820-825. doi:10.1097/NMD.0000000000001044

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cohen D, Rollnick S, Smail S, Kinnersley P, Houston H, Edwards K.Communication, stress and distress: evolution of an individual support programme for medical students and doctors.Med Educ. 2005;39(5):476-481. doi:10.1111/j.1365-2929.2005.02122.xLaverdière O, Ogrodniczuk JS, Kealy D.Interpersonal Problems Associated With Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder.J Nerv Ment Dis. 2019;207(10):820-825. doi:10.1097/NMD.0000000000001044

Cohen D, Rollnick S, Smail S, Kinnersley P, Houston H, Edwards K.Communication, stress and distress: evolution of an individual support programme for medical students and doctors.Med Educ. 2005;39(5):476-481. doi:10.1111/j.1365-2929.2005.02122.xLaverdière O, Ogrodniczuk JS, Kealy D.Interpersonal Problems Associated With Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder.J Nerv Ment Dis. 2019;207(10):820-825. doi:10.1097/NMD.0000000000001044

Laverdière O, Ogrodniczuk JS, Kealy D.Interpersonal Problems Associated With Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder.J Nerv Ment Dis. 2019;207(10):820-825. doi:10.1097/NMD.0000000000001044

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At a Glance#

Why These Types of Poor Listening Styles Stress Us Out#

What to Try Instead#

This Is Why Passive-Aggressiveness Makes Us So Mad and Stressed#

Hostile and Aggressive Communication Is Definitely Stress-Inducing#

Why Aggressive Communication Can Be So Hurtful and Stressful#

What This Means For You#