Table of ContentsView All
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Table of Contents
All-or-Nothing Thinking
Being Highly Critical
Feeling Pushed By Fear
Having Unrealistic Standards
Focusing Only on Results
Fearing Failure
Procrastinating
Being Defensive
Having Low Self-Esteem
Are You a Perfectionist? Take the Quiz
Causes
Pitfalls
How to Overcome Perfectionism
FAQs
Close
Perfection is a double-edged sword—the driving force behind ahigh achieveror a personal liability. It’s a matter of degree. Here are 10 signs of perfectionist traits to watch for when nothing is ever good enough for yourself or someone around you.
Aperfectionisthas “excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations.“They insist on perfection and accept nothing shy of flawlessness. This can manifest as criticism of self and others and in attempts to control situations and people.
Verywell / Brianna Gilmartin
Press Play for Advice On Dealing With Perfectionism
Perfectionists, like high achievers, set and work hard toachieve lofty goals. Whereas a high achiever can be satisfied knowing they did their best and achieved a goal, a perfectionist will accept nothing less than perfection. “Almost perfect” is seen as a failure.
How to Overcome All-or-Nothing Thinking
Someone with a perfectionist personality is more critical of themselves and others than a high achiever. High achievers take pride in their accomplishments and tend to be supportive of others, yet perfectionists often spot mistakes and imperfections.
A perfectionist focuses on imperfections and has trouble seeing anything else. They’re morejudgmentaland hard on themselves and otherswhen “failure” does occur.
Another sign of being a perfectionist issetting goalsthat may not be reasonable. High achievers can set their goals high, enjoying the fun of going a little further once these goals are reached. Perfectionists often set their initial goals out of reach.
Because a perfectionist tends to have unrealistic standards, they often reject success because they feel that their actions are never good enough to rise to this level of achievement.
The Expectations vs. Reality Trap
High achievers can enjoy the process of chasing a goal as much or more than the actual reaching of the goal itself. Conversely, perfectionists see the goal and nothing else. They’re so concerned with hitting the goal and avoiding failure that they can’t enjoy the process of growing and striving.
Perfectionists are often less happy than high achievers.While high achievers are able to bounce back fairly easily from disappointment, perfectionists tend to beat themselves up and wallow in negative feelings when their high expectations go unmet. They struggle to move on when things don’t work out the way they had hoped.
In addition to having less happiness, people with a perfectionist personality also tend to have higher levels of anxiety and lower levels ofpsychological well-being.
Fear of Failure
Healthy Ways to Cope With Failure
Procrastination
It seems paradoxical that perfectionists would be prone toprocrastinationsince this personality trait can be detrimental to productivity. But research has found that a perfectionist person who isn’t able to adjust to their situation or environment—called maladaptive perfectionism—is often more prone to procrastinate.
The reason for this is because, fearing failure as they do, perfectionists will sometimes worry so much about doing something imperfectly that they become immobilized and fail to do anything at all. This procrastination can then lead to greater feelings of failure, further perpetuating a vicious and paralyzing cycle.
Defensiveness
Because a less-than-perfect performance is so painful and scary to perfectionists, they will oftenrespond defensivelyto constructive criticism. High achievers, on the other hand, can see criticism as valuable information that will help improve their future performance.
Low Self-Esteem
High achievers tend to have equally high levels of self-esteem. This isn’t the case with perfectionists. Although striving for perfectionism is associated with higher self-esteem, when someone with a perfectionist personality evaluates themselves critically, this contributes tolow self-esteeminstead.
Perfectionists can also be lonely or isolated due to their critical nature and rigidity pushing others away. This can lead to even lower self-esteem, ultimately having a serious impact on the person’s self-image and overall life satisfaction while also impacting their relationships.
Our fast and free perfectionist quiz can help you determine if your behavior suggests that you are a perfectionist:
Causes of Perfectionism
Many factors can affect a person’s chances of having a perfectionist personality. Some of the main causes of perfectionism include:
Societal and cultural expectations can also play a role in perfectionism.
Pitfalls of Perfectionism
Being a perfectionist is challenging because it’s difficult to be perfect, or even of reaching a personal best. Another problem with perfectionism—and the reason you’ll want to know if you possess perfectionistic traits—is that perfectionists actually tend to achievelessand stressmorethan high achievers.
RecapUnhealthy perfectionism can make it difficult to achieve your goals. It can also lead to worry, stress, anxiety, and depression, among other negative outcomes.
Recap
Unhealthy perfectionism can make it difficult to achieve your goals. It can also lead to worry, stress, anxiety, and depression, among other negative outcomes.
If you are a perfectionist and want to reduce some of its negative impacts on your life, there are a few things you can do. Strategies that can help you overcome perfectionism include:
If you see some of these perfectionist traits in yourself, don’t despair. Recognizing that a change may be needed is a very important first step. Once you recognize how these tendencies might be affecting you negatively, you can begin working toward taking a healthier approach that will still allow you to achieve your goals with less stress and negativity.
Psychological Flexibility
Frequently Asked Questions
Perfectionists often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and worry that they will fail to live up to their own expectations. This constant worry can contribute to feelings of anxiety, particularly when perfectionism tends to focus on being self-critical.Learn More:How Perfectionism Can Impact Panic and Anxiety
Perfectionists often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and worry that they will fail to live up to their own expectations. This constant worry can contribute to feelings of anxiety, particularly when perfectionism tends to focus on being self-critical.
Learn More:How Perfectionism Can Impact Panic and Anxiety
There are a number of strategies that can help a child who exhibits unhealthy perfectionism. Parents and other adults should have reasonable expectationsand focus on praising their child’s efforts rather than outcomes.It is also important to model healthy, positive self-talk that shows how you can be kind and compassionate to yourself, even when you make mistakes.
There are a number of strategies that can help a child who exhibits unhealthy perfectionism. Parents and other adults should have reasonable expectationsand focus on praising their child’s efforts rather than outcomes.
It is also important to model healthy, positive self-talk that shows how you can be kind and compassionate to yourself, even when you make mistakes.
Perfectionism is a personality trait versus being a mental health disorder. That said, people with certain mental illnesses may have perfectionist tendencies. One example of this is individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).Learn More:What is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?
Perfectionism is a personality trait versus being a mental health disorder. That said, people with certain mental illnesses may have perfectionist tendencies. One example of this is individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
Learn More:What is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?
Perfectionism isn’t all bad as people with this tendency often have a different way of assessing situations, which is tied to greater well-being.However, if your perfectionist tendencies are negatively impacting your life, this personality trait may not be a good thing for you.
The three types of perfectionism are:
Narcissism and perfectionism can sometimes occur together, although this is not always the case. Some research suggests that narcissists may be more prone to perfectionism. One study found that narcissistic perfectionism is associated with more social negativity, including higher levels of conflict, anger, and hostility.
15 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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