Close
It’s easy to fall into the trap of option paralysis when you’re online dating. There are so many potential matches out there, and it can be overwhelming trying to figure out who is right for you.
Where Did the Term ‘Option Paralysis’ Come From?
In the book, Schwartz argues that the more choices we have, the harder it is to make a decision, and often we end up feeling unsatisfied with our choice regardless.
Dating Apps Provide Too Many Choices
With so manydating appsand sites to choose from, it’s easy to get caught up in an endless cycle of swiping and scrolling without ever making a real connection. And even when you do match with someone, there’s no guarantee that things will go anywhere, given the number of potential options that are just a message away.
People who are presented with too many choices are more likely to experience negative feelings, such as being overwhelmed.So, if you feel down about your dating prospects, it could be due to an overload of choices.
Why Too Many Dating Choices Can Be an Issue
With the advent of online dating, people now have more dating options than ever before. In theory, this should be a good thing, as it gives people more opportunities to find a partner with whom they are compatible.
You Might End Up Never Making a Decision
However, research suggests that too much choice might actually be a bad thing when it comes to online dating. One of the reasons why online dating can be so difficult is that there are just too many options to choose from. A 2011 study published inBiology Lettersfound that people who were presented with many potential partners were less likely to make any decisions at all.
Examples of Option Paralysis in Online Dating
Option paralysis can be frustrating and overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that it’s normal to feel this way when presented with too many choices.
Option paralysis can manifest itself in several ways in the online dating world. Here are some examples:
If any of these sound familiar, you may suffer from option paralysis in your dating life.
How to Deal With FOMO in Your Life
How to Overcome Option Paralysis in Online Dating
If you find yourself experiencing choice paralysis in your online dating life, there are some things you can do to overcome it.
Marisa Cohen, PhD, relationship expert and licensed marriage and family therapist notes, “it’s important to practice mindfulness and be fully engaged and present with the person you are with. In fact, you may not be a match, but if you aren’t able to fully invest in the person you are spending time with, you aren’t giving them a fair shot.”
Below are some other ways to manage option paralysis when online dating:First, try to be more selective in who you message and respond to. Don’t feel like you have to message everyone who catches your eye. Instead, focus on a few people who you really want to get to know better.Second, give yourself a time limit for online dating. Set aside a specific amount of time each day to scroll through profiles and message people. Once your time is up,log off and take a break. This will help you avoid getting lost in the online dating world and will make it easier to focus on your interactions with potential matches.Finally, remember that online dating is just one way to meet people. There are plenty of other ways to find someone special in your life. Don’t put all your energy into dating apps, and be open tomeeting people in personas well as online.
Below are some other ways to manage option paralysis when online dating:
A Word From Verywell
If you find that you’re struggling with option paralysis in your online dating life, remember that you’re not alone. It’s a common problem that can be overcome with a little effort and mindfulness. Try to be more selective in who you talk to, set aside a specific amount of time for online dating each day, and don’t forget that there are other ways to meet people as well. With a little effort, you can break out of the cycle of option paralysis and succeed in online dating.
How to Date Without Using Apps
2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Iyengar SS, Lepper MR.When choice is demotivating: can one desire too much of a good thing?.J Pers Soc Psychol. 2000;79(6):995-1006. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.79.6.995Lenton AP, Francesconi M.Too much of a good thing? Variety is confusing in mate choice. Biol Lett. 2011 Aug 23;7(4):528-31. doi: 10.1098/rsbl.2011.0098. Epub 2011 Mar 2. PMID: 21367779; PMCID: PMC3130243.
2 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Iyengar SS, Lepper MR.When choice is demotivating: can one desire too much of a good thing?.J Pers Soc Psychol. 2000;79(6):995-1006. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.79.6.995Lenton AP, Francesconi M.Too much of a good thing? Variety is confusing in mate choice. Biol Lett. 2011 Aug 23;7(4):528-31. doi: 10.1098/rsbl.2011.0098. Epub 2011 Mar 2. PMID: 21367779; PMCID: PMC3130243.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Iyengar SS, Lepper MR.When choice is demotivating: can one desire too much of a good thing?.J Pers Soc Psychol. 2000;79(6):995-1006. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.79.6.995Lenton AP, Francesconi M.Too much of a good thing? Variety is confusing in mate choice. Biol Lett. 2011 Aug 23;7(4):528-31. doi: 10.1098/rsbl.2011.0098. Epub 2011 Mar 2. PMID: 21367779; PMCID: PMC3130243.
Iyengar SS, Lepper MR.When choice is demotivating: can one desire too much of a good thing?.J Pers Soc Psychol. 2000;79(6):995-1006. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.79.6.995
Lenton AP, Francesconi M.Too much of a good thing? Variety is confusing in mate choice. Biol Lett. 2011 Aug 23;7(4):528-31. doi: 10.1098/rsbl.2011.0098. Epub 2011 Mar 2. PMID: 21367779; PMCID: PMC3130243.
Meet Our Review Board
Share Feedback
Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit
Was this page helpful?
Thanks for your feedback!
What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit
What is your feedback?
