Not Feeling the Holiday Spirit? A Therapist's Guide to Surviving the Season

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsTake InventoryFind AlternativesSet Your ExpectationsAmp Up Your Support

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Take Inventory

Find Alternatives

Set Your Expectations

Amp Up Your Support

Close

This year, many may be somewhere in between. Former holiday fanatics might have their spirit zapped due to global heaviness, whetherwealth disparities,global conflict, orclimate concerns. Feeling joyless in a season where joy is expected can be especially isolating.

This time of year can also be risky. Those who struggle with addiction are more likely to relapse during the holidays due to the uptick in social events.Thewinter blueshappen to coincide with the holiday season, making those who struggle withseasonal affective disorderespecially vulnerable to hardship during this time of year.Even the pressure ofgift-givingcan lead some to experience such intense financial stress they fall into food insecurity.

So, what do you do if you’re feeling like the Grinch? Roll your sleeves up—we’re going to get real, find some support, and make a game plan.

Systemic Racism Takes a Toll on BIPOC Mental Health

Begin tracking how you’re feeling on the day-to-day. You can journal,use a mood-tracking app, or implement a brief walk where you reflect at the end of your day. Doing this lets you see a pattern of what may be activating yournegative feelings. There may be a few things, so once you’ve grasped the key issues, grab a journal and write them down.

You’ve got your triggers written down – let’s make a plan. If you struggle withsubstance useand are experiencing cravings, it is time to start taking steps to ensure you avoid relapsing. If you’re part of a12-step program, you may want to up your meeting attendance. If not, consider reaching out to a therapist (Open Path Collectiveoffers asliding scalein case your budget is stretched thin).

Even just letting someone you trust know that you’re thinking about picking up can be helpful.

If it is money fueling the discomfort, let’s strategize how you can cut down thefinancial expectationsassociated with the holidays. Instead of giving gifts, you can offer meaningful time spent with loved ones or opt for thoughtful, low-cost trinkets, like a used book with a kind note written on the front page. Let’s take it a step further. Hosting can be another costly issue with the holidays. Don’t be afraid to get honest with your loved ones and let them know that while you’ll happily come to their gatherings, you will not be hosting.

If you have the financial privilege, energy, and interest, you can also consider hosting a neutral gathering at your place. You can offer this option instead of attending your family members’ events and can set yourboundaries. For example, perhaps it is just coffee and croissants in the morning for a couple of hours, or maybe you enforce a strict no-alcohol rule at any gatherings held on your turf.

This option can be a great middle-ground for folks who want to spend time with their family but don’t necessarily align with all of their family’s norms.

Why I’m Opting for a No-Gift Christmas This Year

Be honest with yourself – will engaging with family members cause youharm? Are you at risk of harming yourself, be it through arguments or drinking, if you attend a certain gathering? If so, are you avoiding it because you fear setting a boundary? It isn’t uncommon to engage in unhealthy behavior to avoid hard conversations and boundary-setting. The truth is it is hard to engage withpeople who hurt you, and it is hard to set a boundary. Choose which version of hard is more likely to lead you to the outcome you’re hoping for.

Your Relationship Can’t Survive Without Boundaries—Here’s How to Set Them

The truth is it is hard to engage with people who hurt you, and it is hard to set a boundary. Choose which version of hard is more likely to lead you to the outcome you’re hoping for.

Support doesn’t only meantherapy sessionsor support groups. It also means rethinking how you support yourself. Get honest about yoursleep hygiene,diet, and daily choices. Getting good rest bolsters your decision-making skills, so try your best to prioritize sleep.See where you might have draining people in your life, and get comfortable minimizing the time you spend with them.

When discussing the woes of the holiday season with clients, I underscore the importance of taking action. Moving through the holiday months glumly can be tempting, but there is room to carve out the space you need to nurture yourself. We don’t owe holiday spirit to anyone – but we do owe truth, care, and honesty to ourselves.

The Holiday Blues: Feeling Sad Amid the Festivities

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Guenzel N, McChargue D.Addiction relapse prevention.Treasure Island, FL. StatPearls Publishing; 2022.National Institute on Mental Health.Seasonal Affective Disorder.National Heart, Lung, and Brain Institute.How Sleep Affects Your Health.

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Guenzel N, McChargue D.Addiction relapse prevention.Treasure Island, FL. StatPearls Publishing; 2022.National Institute on Mental Health.Seasonal Affective Disorder.National Heart, Lung, and Brain Institute.How Sleep Affects Your Health.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Guenzel N, McChargue D.Addiction relapse prevention.Treasure Island, FL. StatPearls Publishing; 2022.National Institute on Mental Health.Seasonal Affective Disorder.National Heart, Lung, and Brain Institute.How Sleep Affects Your Health.

Guenzel N, McChargue D.Addiction relapse prevention.Treasure Island, FL. StatPearls Publishing; 2022.

National Institute on Mental Health.Seasonal Affective Disorder.

National Heart, Lung, and Brain Institute.How Sleep Affects Your Health.

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?