Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy Do Narcissists Seek Narcissistic Supply?ExamplesWho Is the Narcissist’s Main Supply?ImpactHow to Know If You’re Narcissistic SupplyHow to Protect Yourself

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Why Do Narcissists Seek Narcissistic Supply?

Examples

Who Is the Narcissist’s Main Supply?

Impact

How to Know If You’re Narcissistic Supply

How to Protect Yourself

Close

“Narcissist” is a term that can be thrown around loosely to describe people with certain behaviors. But only 5 in 100 people have actually been diagnosed withnarcissistic personality disorder.Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, think of themselves as superior to others, and strongly desire to be adored and admired.They feed these feelings through a practice called narcissistic supply.

“Narcissistic supply is the ‘drug’ that the narcissist is addicted to in order to feed their false self (their mask) and avoid their true self and the shame that comes along with that," explains Avigail Lev, PsyD, founder and director ofBay Area CBT Center. “Narcissism is a shame disorder, and narcissistic supply iswhat a narcissist gets from other peopleto mirror, validate their mask, and avoid the deep-rooted shame underneath their grandiosity.”

Narcissistic supply seems to embolden the narcissist, while being detrimental to their supplier.

Can a Narcissist Love?

Experts say narcissists thrive on that predictable response. The reaction creates the drive for the narcissist to continue their behavior. If there is no one to react, then a narcissist has no one to exert control over and no one to help inflate their self-image.

Narcissists often also have a fear of being unwanted and unloved. Manipulating others to give them the acceptance they crave is a part of the narcissistic supply relationship.

What Are Examples of Narcissistic Supply?

Realistic examples help paint the picture of what this type of relationship looks like:

Who Is the Narcissist’s Main Supply?While friends and associates can be suppliers, the main supplier is often someone close to the narcissist, like a partner or family member.

While friends and associates can be suppliers, the main supplier is often someone close to the narcissist, like a partner or family member.

Am I Being Gaslighted? Take the Quiz

The Impact of Narcissistic Supply

Narcissistic supply relationships are unhealthy. Because the narcissist’s goal is to build themselves up at the supplier’s expense, their behavior leaves the supplier feeling vulnerable and with low self-esteem. The supplier can struggle with depression oranxiety, and even post-traumatic stress disorder. The feelings a supplier experiences take a physical, emotional, and mental toll.

Narcissists, in turn, feel like they are in a favorable position. They feel empowered, valued, and worthy of esteem. They enjoy the feelings of power and inflated ego. If you’re concerned that your relationship, whether It’s with your partner, co-worker, or parent, may exhibit narcissistic supply, there aresigns you can look for.

How Do You Know If You’re Narcissistic Supply?“You know that you are a narcissistic supply if you’re beinglove-bombed, idealized, and mirrored, and you feel like the best thing in the whole world. Conversely, you feel like a worthless, insignificant piece of garbage when you’re being devalued. If you’re feeling either one of these extremes, you’re most likely the narcissist’s supply,” Dr. Lev explains.

How Do You Know If You’re Narcissistic Supply?

“You know that you are a narcissistic supply if you’re beinglove-bombed, idealized, and mirrored, and you feel like the best thing in the whole world. Conversely, you feel like a worthless, insignificant piece of garbage when you’re being devalued. If you’re feeling either one of these extremes, you’re most likely the narcissist’s supply,” Dr. Lev explains.

Research shows thatliving with a narcissistaffects a person’s sense of stability and security.If you’re in any type of relationship where these signs are present, it’s important to get help.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Strategies to Manage and Protect Oneself from Narcissistic Supply

When you are the supplier in a narcissistic supply relationship, building yourself up to combat thenegative messages from the narcissistis key. If you’re dealing with a lack of confidence and low self-esteem, lean on supportive friends and family members who can speak positive, affirming words. Taking refuge in your circle of support also helps to lessen your dependency on the narcissist. If part of your narcissistic supply relationship includesmonetary controlover you, you can take an extra job or create ways to build yourself up financially. Again, this lessens your dependency on the narcissist.

Working with a mental health professional can be key in not only helping you to build yourself back up mentally and emotionally but also examining how you can avoid getting back into anarcissistic supply cycle.

If your situation has escalated, removing yourself from danger is paramount. Ultimately, experts say the main concern isn’t the behavior as much as it’s the person behind it.

“The strategies to protect yourself are not strategies to protect yourself from narcissistic supply; the strategies are to protect yourself from narcissists,” Dr. Lev concludes.

Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cleveland Clinic.Narcissistic Personality Disorder.Zagenczyk TJ, Smallfield J, Scott KL, Galloway B, Purvis RL.The moderating effect of psychological contract violation on the relationship between narcissism and outcomes: an application of trait activation theory.Front Psychol. 2017;8:1113.Day NJS, Townsend ML, Grenyer BFS.Living with pathological narcissism: a qualitative study.Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation. 2020;7(1):19.

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cleveland Clinic.Narcissistic Personality Disorder.Zagenczyk TJ, Smallfield J, Scott KL, Galloway B, Purvis RL.The moderating effect of psychological contract violation on the relationship between narcissism and outcomes: an application of trait activation theory.Front Psychol. 2017;8:1113.Day NJS, Townsend ML, Grenyer BFS.Living with pathological narcissism: a qualitative study.Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation. 2020;7(1):19.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Cleveland Clinic.Narcissistic Personality Disorder.Zagenczyk TJ, Smallfield J, Scott KL, Galloway B, Purvis RL.The moderating effect of psychological contract violation on the relationship between narcissism and outcomes: an application of trait activation theory.Front Psychol. 2017;8:1113.Day NJS, Townsend ML, Grenyer BFS.Living with pathological narcissism: a qualitative study.Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation. 2020;7(1):19.

Cleveland Clinic.Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Zagenczyk TJ, Smallfield J, Scott KL, Galloway B, Purvis RL.The moderating effect of psychological contract violation on the relationship between narcissism and outcomes: an application of trait activation theory.Front Psychol. 2017;8:1113.

Day NJS, Townsend ML, Grenyer BFS.Living with pathological narcissism: a qualitative study.Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation. 2020;7(1):19.

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