Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsImpact of Lost LoveSigns to Watch ForHow to Respond
Table of ContentsView All
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Table of Contents
Impact of Lost Love
Signs to Watch For
How to Respond
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Does it ever feel like your wife is drifting further away—or maybe like she might have fallout out of love? It can be difficult to think, “My wife doesn’t love me anymore.” If you feel this way, it is important to consider why it might be happening. Knowing what you can do when your wife’s love seems to be gone is equally critical.
Knowing what signs to look for can help determine whether your wife has lost feelings for you or ifyou’ve lost feelings for your partner. Because feelings are salvageable, we also examine actions that can restore love and improve your relationship.
At a GlanceAll relationships change over time, but feeling like your wife doesn’t love you anymore can be a sign of a more serious problem. So, how do you tell if it’s just the natural ebb-and-flow of a marriage or something more serious? Some signs that your wife might have fallen out of love with you include poor communication, lack of interest, constant conflict, silent treatment, loss of intimacy, and infidelity. Self-analysis is important so you can take steps to remedy the problem, but it’s just as important to talk to your partner about what’s happening in your relationship. You can fall back in love, but you both need to be on the same page. Talk to her about trying couples therapy and taking steps to reconnect as a couple. But if it doesn’t work out, make sure to seek out supportive resources (like your friends or therapist) when you decide to move on.
At a Glance
All relationships change over time, but feeling like your wife doesn’t love you anymore can be a sign of a more serious problem. So, how do you tell if it’s just the natural ebb-and-flow of a marriage or something more serious? Some signs that your wife might have fallen out of love with you include poor communication, lack of interest, constant conflict, silent treatment, loss of intimacy, and infidelity. Self-analysis is important so you can take steps to remedy the problem, but it’s just as important to talk to your partner about what’s happening in your relationship. You can fall back in love, but you both need to be on the same page. Talk to her about trying couples therapy and taking steps to reconnect as a couple. But if it doesn’t work out, make sure to seek out supportive resources (like your friends or therapist) when you decide to move on.
What Happens When a Wife’s Love is Gone?
If you suspect that your wife no longer feels love for you, this can be a painful and isolating realization. It can put the continuation of your marriage in question while, at the same time, placing the possibility of losing your partner in view.
When two people make a life commitment to each other, a number of things are communicated. First, every interaction will be based on trust. Also, thatcommunication will be open and honest. Most importantly, a couple agrees that their marriage is built on a foundation of love and respect.
Without this love, there isn’t much for the relationship to stand on. This makes the absence of love on one person’s part a worrying reality for the future of the relationship. It underscores how circumstances in life—good or bad—should never break this mutual promise.
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Signs Your Wife May Not Love You Anymore
Both partners usually have a good idea of their spouse’s temperament, moods, and inclinations. This makes you very aware of any changes your wife might be going through, especially where your marriage is concerned. The following are signs that can suggest your wife’s love isn’t as strong as it used to be.
Common problems that signify relationship problems include a lack of communication, time spent apart, marital conflict, lack of intimacy, and infidelity.
Your Communication Becomes Strained
Couples report higher satisfaction with their partners when they engage inhigh-quality communication.One of the first signs that your wife’s love and affection may be dwindling is a shift in her communication patterns.
When you find that you are becoming more and more clueless about your wife’s daily activities, schedule, or even how she’s feeling about you and your marriage, this could indicate a change in feelings.
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You Are Constantly Fighting
In any relationship,constant nitpickingor bickering can be draining. This is even more apparent in a marriage, where partners usually provide listening ears when their spouses complain about people they disagree with.
Becoming the person your spouse is regularly fighting with can be tiring. More than being a stressful occasion, a couple’s ability to resolve conflicts affects their marital quality.
When you and your wife are unable to see eye-to-eye on a regular basis, and these fights continue despite your best efforts, it could be another sign that her affection is changing.
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There Is No More Fighting
What’s worse than constant bickering? It isabsolute silencewhen disagreements come up. You do all the talking and she doesn’t chime in, or you try to start a conversation and get no response.
“The opposite of love isn’t hate, but indifference,” says Vikas Keshri, MSW, RSW, the clinical director ofBloom Clinical Care. “You’d know your wife doesn’t love you anymore if she’s no longer interested in coming to a healthy resolution after a fight or if she tends to just blindly agree with whatever you say.”
It may come across that she’s just trying to avoid conflict, but if it’s tinged with indifference, it feels more dismissive and cold.—VIKAS KESHRI, MSW, RSW
It may come across that she’s just trying to avoid conflict, but if it’s tinged with indifference, it feels more dismissive and cold.
—VIKAS KESHRI, MSW, RSW
When your wife is no longer interested in hashing out what caused a fight and is instead happy to agree to whatever you decide, it might not mean she’s attempting to avoid conflict. Sometimes, this could reveal her growing disinterest in things that concern and threaten your marriage.
Your Wife Never Has Time for You
For a marriage to work, certain sacrifices have to be made. Sometimes, this means giving up a weekend in bed because your partner wants to visit museums around the city. Other times, it can meanhaving difficult conversationsbecause you care about the relationship enough to discuss budding problems.
“Another indicator of indifference is if they begin to ignore the things you say or doesn’t show interest in whatever that has to do with you,” Keshri explains. “If you used to have passionate discussions about the interests you share but she now shows little to no interest in engaging, it may mean she’s begun to lose love for you.”
She Becomes More Focused on Herself
Plans made without you, promotions not shared, or a constant search for opportunities in different states or neighborhoods without carrying you along. What do all these have in common?
They might indicate that your wife’s love is gone to the point where she is plotting a future without you in it. She may bestarting a new lifeand doesn’t want you to know the details.
Intimacy Is Missing
When couples have frequent sex—especiallyfrequent, enjoyable sex—this can greatly improve relationship satisfaction.If your wife shows increasing indifference about your sex life, or if intimacy appears to be a duty she performs for your benefit, it could signal a change in feelings toward your marriage.
She Cheats
If you suspect or are certain that yourwife had an affair, this can be an obvious sign that she no longer loves you or is dissatisfied with your relationship. Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorceand one of the most painful developments in any relationship.
What Should I Do If My Wife Doesn’t Love Me Anymore?
Coming to the realization that a wife’s love is gone can be disheartening. It can also make a future with her seem unlikely, but this doesn’t have to be the case.
With marriages created on a foundation of love, there is an opening for that love to be re-discovered. If you suspect your wife’s feelings toward you have changed, here are some steps you can take.
Look Inward
Before making any assumptions about the change in your wife’s attitude, one important move to make is to examine how you have acted in the marriage. Look inward and see what you discover.
Perhaps you failed to register the stress your wife is experiencing at work, or maybe her aloofness is a way of showing displeasure at something you did. There is a chance you’ve both begun totake each other for grantedand forgotten the effort required to build a long-lasting home together.
This one step can guide the next steps to take for a possible change in your wife’s attitude.
Show Her You Appreciate Her
If you’ve self-reflected and realized that your actions might have contributed to the distance between you, it’s important to take steps to help bridge the gap. “Reflect on the little things that you used to do that had a big impact and made her feel appreciated,” Keshri suggests.
He notes that this can’t just involve copying a list of suggestions you’ve seen online. It involves paying attention to her and fulfilling her unique needs. “It has to be the small things you used to do that matter to her and her alone,” he explains.
Speak Honestly
To get to the bottom of any changes you may have observed in your wife, simplyasking what is wrongcan be effective. This question should be asked in a relaxed environment, where she can feel comfortable sharing anything on her mind.
Accusations should be avoided, but don’t be afraid to share all the developments that have led to you asking the question. While maintaining a level head, give her enough time to speak and air her feelings before you make contributions to the discussion.
Assure Her of Your Love
While speaking to your wife, it’s important that she is aware of your unchanged feelings toward her. Assure her that you are willing to work through any rough patches your marriage might be going through. This will show that she has a reliable partner to fall back on.
Giving a reminder of your love can serve as a gentle push for your wife to put in effort towardimproving your relationship.
Attend Couple’s Therapy
In some cases, it’s necessary for a professional to give guidance on the changes in your relationship.Attending counseling sessions togethercan help with navigating the growing distance, poor communication, and even the pain of infidelity in the relationship.
Ask a Therapist: How Can I Trust My Wife After She Cheated On Me?
While it may be painful to accept, there comes a time when feelings move past the point of saving. If despite the honest conversations and professional counseling, your wife’s love is gone, it might be time to move on.
At this point, your happiness and welfare should take priority. Leaning on friends and family, as well as seeing a therapist, can help withmanaging the painful transition.
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Takeaways
As a lifetime partner, your wife is an important part of your life. This makes it understandable that certain changes in her behavior, especially toward you, can be upsetting.
A suspicion that your wife might be falling out of love can hurt even the strongest of hearts. But this doesn’t have to put an end to the relationship. By communicating and taking extra measures to restore her feelings,your relationship can be saved.
There are times, however, when very little can be done to save a union.When a marriage cannot be saved, focusing on yourself and your happiness should be the most important objective.
10 Ways to Strengthen a Marriage and Avoid Divorce
5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Williamson HC, Bradbury TN, Nguyen TP, Karney BR.Are problems that contribute to divorce present at the start of marriage, or do they emerge over time?J Soc Pers Relat. 2016;33(8):1120-1134. doi:10.1177/0265407515617705Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN.Does couples' communication predict marital satisfaction, or does marital satisfaction predict communication?J Marriage Fam. 2016;78(3):680-694. doi:10.1111/jomf.12301Wagner A, Mosmann C, Scheeren P, Levandowski D.Conflict, conflict resolution and marital quality.Social Psychol. 2018. doi:10.1590/1982-4327e2919Zhang Y, Liu H.A national longitudinal study of partnered sex, relationship quality, and mental health among older adults.J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2020;75(8):1772-1782. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbz074Rokach A, Chan S.Love and infidelity: causes and consequences.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023;20(5):3904. doi:10.3390/ijerph20053904
5 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Williamson HC, Bradbury TN, Nguyen TP, Karney BR.Are problems that contribute to divorce present at the start of marriage, or do they emerge over time?J Soc Pers Relat. 2016;33(8):1120-1134. doi:10.1177/0265407515617705Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN.Does couples' communication predict marital satisfaction, or does marital satisfaction predict communication?J Marriage Fam. 2016;78(3):680-694. doi:10.1111/jomf.12301Wagner A, Mosmann C, Scheeren P, Levandowski D.Conflict, conflict resolution and marital quality.Social Psychol. 2018. doi:10.1590/1982-4327e2919Zhang Y, Liu H.A national longitudinal study of partnered sex, relationship quality, and mental health among older adults.J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2020;75(8):1772-1782. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbz074Rokach A, Chan S.Love and infidelity: causes and consequences.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023;20(5):3904. doi:10.3390/ijerph20053904
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Williamson HC, Bradbury TN, Nguyen TP, Karney BR.Are problems that contribute to divorce present at the start of marriage, or do they emerge over time?J Soc Pers Relat. 2016;33(8):1120-1134. doi:10.1177/0265407515617705Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN.Does couples' communication predict marital satisfaction, or does marital satisfaction predict communication?J Marriage Fam. 2016;78(3):680-694. doi:10.1111/jomf.12301Wagner A, Mosmann C, Scheeren P, Levandowski D.Conflict, conflict resolution and marital quality.Social Psychol. 2018. doi:10.1590/1982-4327e2919Zhang Y, Liu H.A national longitudinal study of partnered sex, relationship quality, and mental health among older adults.J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2020;75(8):1772-1782. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbz074Rokach A, Chan S.Love and infidelity: causes and consequences.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023;20(5):3904. doi:10.3390/ijerph20053904
Williamson HC, Bradbury TN, Nguyen TP, Karney BR.Are problems that contribute to divorce present at the start of marriage, or do they emerge over time?J Soc Pers Relat. 2016;33(8):1120-1134. doi:10.1177/0265407515617705
Lavner JA, Karney BR, Bradbury TN.Does couples' communication predict marital satisfaction, or does marital satisfaction predict communication?J Marriage Fam. 2016;78(3):680-694. doi:10.1111/jomf.12301
Wagner A, Mosmann C, Scheeren P, Levandowski D.Conflict, conflict resolution and marital quality.Social Psychol. 2018. doi:10.1590/1982-4327e2919
Zhang Y, Liu H.A national longitudinal study of partnered sex, relationship quality, and mental health among older adults.J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci. 2020;75(8):1772-1782. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbz074
Rokach A, Chan S.Love and infidelity: causes and consequences.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023;20(5):3904. doi:10.3390/ijerph20053904
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