My Reflections on Desensitization and the Atlanta Spa Shootings

Care and Trigger WarningThis is a story that reflects on a 2021 mass shooting. Some details in this piece may be disturbing to readers, especially those who have experienced the trauma of gun violence and/or recent hate crimes. If reading this brings up uncomfortable feelings for you, you can speak confidentially with trained advocates for free. Contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Care and Trigger Warning

This is a story that reflects on a 2021 mass shooting. Some details in this piece may be disturbing to readers, especially those who have experienced the trauma of gun violence and/or recent hate crimes. If reading this brings up uncomfortable feelings for you, you can speak confidentially with trained advocates for free. Contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

As the breaking news report continued, my relatives murmured questions that I had stopped asking a long time ago. Questions like: How did he get a gun? Why did he do it? How could this have happened?

Systemic Racism Takes a Toll on BIPOC Mental Health

However, because desensitization is simply a bodily response, it can also have negative effects. For example, regular exposure to images, news, or other stimuli related to violence gradually reduces our emotional response to the violence over time. Researchers have shown that desensitization can have multiple outcomes, including reduced sympathy and empathy, reduced emotional response, and greater hesitancy to respond in a violent situation.

Desensitization to racism can work similarly. If a problem seems too big to fix, and presents itself in everyday circumstances, wouldn’t it make more sense that your body eventually shuts down the usual emotional responses in order to survive?

If a problem seems too big to fix, and presents itself in everyday circumstances, wouldn’t it make more sense that your body eventually shuts down the usual emotional responses in order to survive?

Yet to my Korean family living as the ethnic majority in a country with highly restricted access to guns, such violence was a shock. In the following days, as the Korean news went on to interview family and friends of the victims, to share stories about their lives, a kind of collective grief filled our home. We talked at length about the women, their families, and connected their stories of immigration with my mother’s. The shooting, and witnessing my family’s reaction to it, woke me up to the ways in which I had become numb and how that was not okay.

I began to notice how different I had felt in Korea than in the United States. I felt safer going outside, not only because everyone followed the mask mandate in public spaces, but also because I didn’t need to scan for exit signs when entering a building. Gun violence and racial violence had been a constant and real fear running in the back of my mind in the US, while in Korea my body could relax in daily circumstances. I realized that while desensitization was probably necessary on some level, it’s also necessary to feel the painful feelings, to go through the necessary grieving, instead of shutting off entirely.

In the year since the Atlanta spa shooting, there have been some positive changes; perhaps the most pronounced being increased awareness of racism and discrimination against AAPI people. The Stop AAPI Hate coalition, and related grassroots organizations, have made significant progress in highlighting the reality of racism.

When the new presidential administration took office, they were vocal about their support for AAPI communities and denouncing the racist violence that had spiked during the pandemic. But if you look up keywords like anti-Asian hate today, there are few new articles—most are from 2021. But that doesn’t mean that the violence or racism has ended, or that AAPI people are doing okay. We have to remember these realities without becoming desensitized. We have to be able to strike a balance that enables us to live well without becoming numb to the injustices that occur all too often around us.

At this point, I am trying to learn to use the positive aspects of desensitization without becoming so numb that I no longer feel the appropriate response to incidents of violence, hatred, or racism. While I still practice deep breathing and other therapeutic tactics, I also take the time to read about my histories, including AAPI histories, to learn about how racism harms us all and prevents the kind of solidarity and community-building we need. It’s important for me to stay engaged with my communities, and to continue learning, seeing, and feeling.

17 Mental Health Resources For Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders

1 SourceVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cantor J.Violence in films and television. In:Encyclopedia of International Media and Communications. Elsevier; 2003:573-584. doi:10.1016/B0-12-387670-2/00312-5

1 Source

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cantor J.Violence in films and television. In:Encyclopedia of International Media and Communications. Elsevier; 2003:573-584. doi:10.1016/B0-12-387670-2/00312-5

Cantor J.Violence in films and television. In:Encyclopedia of International Media and Communications. Elsevier; 2003:573-584. doi:10.1016/B0-12-387670-2/00312-5

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