Living With Someone With Mental Illness

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsChallenges of Living With Someone With Mental IllnessHow Mental Illness Affects RelationshipsTips for Living With Someone With Mental IllnessGetting Help

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Challenges of Living With Someone With Mental Illness

How Mental Illness Affects Relationships

Tips for Living With Someone With Mental Illness

Getting Help

When you live with someone with a mental illness, it can be hard on your relationship. During particularly hard moments, you might even find yourself thinking, “Their mental illness is killing me !”

Managing their mental health disorder may become the center of your interaction, changing the dynamics of your relationship. Theirmental illness symptomscan also increase your feelings of stress.

At a GlanceLiving with someone who has a mental illness can be challenging, but understanding their condition and knowing how to cope can reduce your stress. You can be supportive, but having boundaries and practicing good self-care is essential. Don’t try to be their therapist (leave that to the professionals); reach out for help if needed.

At a Glance

Living with someone who has a mental illness can be challenging, but understanding their condition and knowing how to cope can reduce your stress. You can be supportive, but having boundaries and practicing good self-care is essential. Don’t try to be their therapist (leave that to the professionals); reach out for help if needed.

There are many reasons why living with someone who has a mental illness can be challenging and stressful. You may struggle to depend on them to take care of their responsibilities, for instance, like paying their portion of the rent.

It can cause emotional upheaval and increased stress. You might also feel isolated and alone since it can sometimes seem like no one else really understands what you’re going through.

If their behavior is unhealthy or unpredictable, you might wonder how to help them while still protecting yourself. This can leave you thinking, “Help! Their mental illness is killing me!”

Always remove yourself from potentially emotionally and/or physically dangerous situations andcontact emergency servicesif the person you are living with is at risk for harming themselves or others.

The good news is that living with someone with a mental health disorder doesn’t have to degrade your relationship. Despite the challenges you may face, there arestrategies you can use to deal with the stresswhile still helping them manage their symptoms.

Mental illness can impact relationships in a variety of ways, particularly if living under the same roof.

Caregiver Burnout

Intimacy Problems

If the relationship is romantic, you may experience challenges withintimacyas well. Depending on your partner’s mental health condition and any medications they take, they might experiencehypersexual behaviors(strong sexual urges) orhave no interest in sex at all, both of which can be hard on relationships.

The 10 Best Online Couples Therapy Services We Tried and Tested

Shame and Stigma

In some cases, the person you’re living with might even be hesitant to tell you about their mental health disorder.They may worry that you will end the relationship once you find out or wonder whether you’ll be able to navigate their symptoms together.

The important thing to remember is that, while there can be challenges to living with someone with a mental health disorder, there are also strategies you can put in place to keep those challenges from doing irreparable damage to your relationship.

Signs of Mental IllnessDepending on the person’s age, symptoms of a mental health disorder may present differently. Signs and symptoms of a mental health disorder can include:Changes in appetiteor sleeping patternsExperiencing extreme emotional shiftsChroniclow-grade depressionor a major depressive episodeIncreasedirritability, sadness, anxiety, anger, or worryEngaging in self-harmor thoughts of harming othersExperiencinghallucinations or delusionsHaving unhealthy coping habits, such as using drugs and alcohol to deal with stress or engaging in risky or obsessive behaviorsHaving emotional outbursts that aren’t typical for that individualWithdrawing and not engaging in activities that once brought them joy

Signs of Mental Illness

Depending on the person’s age, symptoms of a mental health disorder may present differently. Signs and symptoms of a mental health disorder can include:Changes in appetiteor sleeping patternsExperiencing extreme emotional shiftsChroniclow-grade depressionor a major depressive episodeIncreasedirritability, sadness, anxiety, anger, or worryEngaging in self-harmor thoughts of harming othersExperiencinghallucinations or delusionsHaving unhealthy coping habits, such as using drugs and alcohol to deal with stress or engaging in risky or obsessive behaviorsHaving emotional outbursts that aren’t typical for that individualWithdrawing and not engaging in activities that once brought them joy

Depending on the person’s age, symptoms of a mental health disorder may present differently. Signs and symptoms of a mental health disorder can include:

Whether you already feel the stress of living with someone with a mental health disorder or you want to be proactive and address the challenges before they have a chance to take their toll, there are several actions you can take that are helpful for creating a healthier relationship dynamic. Here are a few to consider.

Learn About Their Mental Illness

There is a lot of misinformation about the causes and best treatment options for the different mental health disorders. Finding the truths or facts about their mental illness can help you better understand their condition while also learning how you can help while living with them.

To learn more about their mental illness:

Coping With ADHD Spouse Burnout

Be Supportive

Whether it’s your partner, child, friend, or roommate who has been diagnosed with mental illness, there are ways to show that you support them. This begins with providingempathy, love, andcompassionas they learn how to live with their disorder.

If the diagnosis was recent, recognize that the news can be devastating, embarrassing, and potentially even frightening. For some, it may provide validation for the symptoms they’ve been experiencing, but the uncertainty andstigma associated with mental health disordersmay cause them to worry that you will see them differently.

Communication is important when living with someone with mental illness.

Let them know that you want to be able to trust them to stay on top of their treatment plan and if they can’t fulfill their responsibilities, it causes you to feel stressed.

While being supportive, you want to respect their privacy, too. Though you may becurious about their therapy sessionsand progress, they might only want to share certain things and keep other details private. Give them space to do this while letting them know that you’re there if they need you.

Avoid enabling any unhealthy behaviors the person with mental illness may have and allow them to take responsibility for their treatment plan while still offering appropriate support.

How to Support a Partner With Mental Illness

If your partner has a mental health disorder:

It’s also important to build a supportive community of friends and family around you.Joining a support groupcan also help you connect with others in a similar situation and share your experiences. To best help your partner, you must take care of your emotional needs, too.

If you are co-parents,talk to your children about mental health. Give them the opportunity to ask questions and help them understand how your partner’s mental health disorder can affect their thoughts and behaviors. Also, find ways to cope as a family.

How to Support a Child With Mental Illness

If you’re living with a child with a mental health disorder, listen to them when they talk about their symptoms. You might not understand exactly what they’re going through, but it’s important they know that you believe them.

Communicating with the child and their care provider is key, so you can come up with solutions together. If you have other children, you might also want to get them in on the conversation.

Find ways you can work together support the child’s mental health.

Online Therapy Services for Kids and Families, Tried and Tested

How to Support a Friend or Roommate With Mental Illness

If you live with a close friend who has a mental illness, you might notice a change in their behavior. Maybe they arewithdrawing from social activities, for example. Ask your friend how you can help. If it feels necessary, you can ask if they’d like for you to contact a mental healthcare service for them.

If you have a roommate that you aren’t close with, you can still offer your support where you can. In any case, you want to remember torespect their boundaries(and set your own). Don’t interfere if it doesn’t feel safe.

Don’t Become Their Therapist

Beyond educating yourself on how to support the person you’re living with, keep in mind that it is not your responsibility to be their therapist. This is inappropriate—even if you are a trainedmental health professional—because it creates an unhealthy power dynamic that will not work as a long-term solution.

A mental health counselor or therapist can offer your loved one or roommate the opportunity to feel supported and empowered to care for themselves. This type of professional can also help the person you’re living with learn how to prioritize their well-being as an individual.

Your role is to provide love, support, and empathy for your partner, child, or friend. They are responsible for managing the symptoms of their mental health disorder.

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Put Protections In Place

Depending on the mental illness, the person you’re living with may engage in certain actions or behaviors that put you at risk in some way. In these instances, it’s important to take steps to protect yourself.

For instance, if their mental illness makes it difficult for them to control their spending, you might consider separate bank accounts. Some banks also offer a spending cap on debit cards, which might help prevent them from spending an excessive amount at once.

If their mental health condition prevents them from holding a steady job, it can be stressful, especially if you are financially dependent on them. You may need to make other plans, such as getting a job yourself to contribute.

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is critical in maintaining healthy relationships, in general. But it can be especially beneficial if living with someone who has been diagnosed with a mental health disorder.

Ideas forself-careinclude:

Be mindful of burnout or caregiver fatigue. Experiencing burnout will impact your well-being and your relationship with your loved one. If you are experiencing signs of burnout, you must prioritize your well-being and take a necessary break.

Signs of Caregiver BurnoutFeeling overwhelmed and/or exhausted (mentally and physically)Experiencing an increase in stress, anxiety, or depressionChanges in appetite or sleep patternsFeeling more easily irritatedFeeling helpless

Signs of Caregiver Burnout

Feeling overwhelmed and/or exhausted (mentally and physically)Experiencing an increase in stress, anxiety, or depressionChanges in appetite or sleep patternsFeeling more easily irritatedFeeling helpless

If you’re living with someone who has a mental health disorder, it is not unusual to experience a range of emotions such as frustration, anger, and sadness. Seeking out individual therapy, couples counseling, and/or family therapy that aims to strengthen your relationship can be immensely helpful during this time.

Considerseeing your own counselorto help support you during this time, even if you are already in couples counseling or family therapy.Therapy can help you process your emotions and allow you to keep showing up for your loved one in a healthy way.

What This Means For YouIf a person you live with has been diagnosed with a mental health disorder, there are steps you both can take to maintain and even improve your relationship. This involves prioritizing your well-being as individuals as well as within your relationship.It can bring challenges and stresses, but learning more about their condition, being supportive, and maintaining boundaries can also help bring you closer. If you feel like their mental illness is taking a huge toll on your ability to cope, consider talking to a mental health professional.

What This Means For You

If a person you live with has been diagnosed with a mental health disorder, there are steps you both can take to maintain and even improve your relationship. This involves prioritizing your well-being as individuals as well as within your relationship.It can bring challenges and stresses, but learning more about their condition, being supportive, and maintaining boundaries can also help bring you closer. If you feel like their mental illness is taking a huge toll on your ability to cope, consider talking to a mental health professional.

It can bring challenges and stresses, but learning more about their condition, being supportive, and maintaining boundaries can also help bring you closer. If you feel like their mental illness is taking a huge toll on your ability to cope, consider talking to a mental health professional.

8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cham CQ, Ibrahim N, Siau CS, et al.Caregiver burden among caregivers of patients with mental illness: A systematic review and meta-analysis.Healthcare (Basel). 2022;10(12):2423. doi:10.3390/healthcare10122423National Alliance on Mental Illness.Romantic relationships.National Alliance on Mental Illness.How to love someone with a mental illness.Geramita EM, Herbeck Belnap B, Abebe KZ, Rothenberger SD, Rotondi AJ, Rollman BL.The association between increased levels of patient engagement with an internet support group and improved mental health outcomes at 6-month follow-up: Post-hoc analyses from a randomized controlled trial.J Med Internet Res.2018;20(7):e10402. doi:10.2196/10402National Alliance on Mental Health.Learning to help your child and your family.Johns Hopkins Medicine.Bipolar relationships: What to expect.Cabral L, Duarte J, dos Santos C, Ferreira M.Anxiety, stress and depression in family caregivers of the mentally ill.Aten Primaria. 2014;46(5):176-179. doi:10.1016/S0212-6567(14)70087-3Varghese M, Kirpekar V, Loganathan S.Family interventions: Basic principles and techniques.Indian J Psychiatry. 2020;62(Suppl 2):S192-S200. doi:10.4103/psychiatry.IndianJPsychiatry_770_19

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cham CQ, Ibrahim N, Siau CS, et al.Caregiver burden among caregivers of patients with mental illness: A systematic review and meta-analysis.Healthcare (Basel). 2022;10(12):2423. doi:10.3390/healthcare10122423National Alliance on Mental Illness.Romantic relationships.National Alliance on Mental Illness.How to love someone with a mental illness.Geramita EM, Herbeck Belnap B, Abebe KZ, Rothenberger SD, Rotondi AJ, Rollman BL.The association between increased levels of patient engagement with an internet support group and improved mental health outcomes at 6-month follow-up: Post-hoc analyses from a randomized controlled trial.J Med Internet Res.2018;20(7):e10402. doi:10.2196/10402National Alliance on Mental Health.Learning to help your child and your family.Johns Hopkins Medicine.Bipolar relationships: What to expect.Cabral L, Duarte J, dos Santos C, Ferreira M.Anxiety, stress and depression in family caregivers of the mentally ill.Aten Primaria. 2014;46(5):176-179. doi:10.1016/S0212-6567(14)70087-3Varghese M, Kirpekar V, Loganathan S.Family interventions: Basic principles and techniques.Indian J Psychiatry. 2020;62(Suppl 2):S192-S200. doi:10.4103/psychiatry.IndianJPsychiatry_770_19

Cham CQ, Ibrahim N, Siau CS, et al.Caregiver burden among caregivers of patients with mental illness: A systematic review and meta-analysis.Healthcare (Basel). 2022;10(12):2423. doi:10.3390/healthcare10122423National Alliance on Mental Illness.Romantic relationships.National Alliance on Mental Illness.How to love someone with a mental illness.Geramita EM, Herbeck Belnap B, Abebe KZ, Rothenberger SD, Rotondi AJ, Rollman BL.The association between increased levels of patient engagement with an internet support group and improved mental health outcomes at 6-month follow-up: Post-hoc analyses from a randomized controlled trial.J Med Internet Res.2018;20(7):e10402. doi:10.2196/10402National Alliance on Mental Health.Learning to help your child and your family.Johns Hopkins Medicine.Bipolar relationships: What to expect.Cabral L, Duarte J, dos Santos C, Ferreira M.Anxiety, stress and depression in family caregivers of the mentally ill.Aten Primaria. 2014;46(5):176-179. doi:10.1016/S0212-6567(14)70087-3Varghese M, Kirpekar V, Loganathan S.Family interventions: Basic principles and techniques.Indian J Psychiatry. 2020;62(Suppl 2):S192-S200. doi:10.4103/psychiatry.IndianJPsychiatry_770_19

National Alliance on Mental Illness.Romantic relationships.

National Alliance on Mental Illness.How to love someone with a mental illness.

Geramita EM, Herbeck Belnap B, Abebe KZ, Rothenberger SD, Rotondi AJ, Rollman BL.The association between increased levels of patient engagement with an internet support group and improved mental health outcomes at 6-month follow-up: Post-hoc analyses from a randomized controlled trial.J Med Internet Res.2018;20(7):e10402. doi:10.2196/10402

National Alliance on Mental Health.Learning to help your child and your family.

Johns Hopkins Medicine.Bipolar relationships: What to expect.

Cabral L, Duarte J, dos Santos C, Ferreira M.Anxiety, stress and depression in family caregivers of the mentally ill.Aten Primaria. 2014;46(5):176-179. doi:10.1016/S0212-6567(14)70087-3

Varghese M, Kirpekar V, Loganathan S.Family interventions: Basic principles and techniques.Indian J Psychiatry. 2020;62(Suppl 2):S192-S200. doi:10.4103/psychiatry.IndianJPsychiatry_770_19

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?

At a Glance#

Caregiver Burnout#

Intimacy Problems#

Shame and Stigma#

Signs of Mental Illness#

Learn About Their Mental Illness#

Be Supportive#

Don’t Become Their Therapist#

Get Help Now#

Put Protections In Place#

Practice Self-Care#

Signs of Caregiver Burnout#

What This Means For You#