Living With Social Anxiety Disorder

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsSocial SkillsCoping With EmotionsDaily StrategiesMistakes to AvoidWhen to Seek HelpNext in Social Anxiety Disorder GuideSocial Anxiety Disorder in Children

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Social Skills

Coping With Emotions

Daily Strategies

Mistakes to Avoid

When to Seek Help

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Social anxiety disorder (SAD)can lead to intense feelings of anxiety and distress in social settings. Although this disorder is treatable, usually with medication and psychotherapy, it is estimated that only 35% of people with social anxiety ever receive treatment.

While not a substitute for professional treatment, for those who may otherwise receive no help, self-help is a good starting point.The self-help strategies for social anxiety disorder outlined below can be used at home to help overcome its symptoms.

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Improving Social Skills to Reduce Anxiety

A good first step to coping with social anxiety disorder is to identify social skills that could use a bit of work. Improving these skills may help individuals better cope with the thoughts and emotions that come with social anxiety.

Assertiveness Skills

Many people with social anxiety disorder lack assertiveness.Thus, they can benefit from learning tobecome more assertive.

Learning to say no is also an important part of being assertive and a skill that can benefit people with social anxiety.

How to Be More Assertive When You Have SAD

Nonverbal Communication Skills

Improving nonverbal communication skillsis another area in which a person can employ self-help strategies if they live with social anxiety. This can help them feel more confident in social interactions.

For example, most people with social anxiety tend to adopt a “closed-off” stance. They may even have this stance without realizing it. Learning how to have a relaxed posture (e.g. hands at the sides, good eye contact) encourages others to respond positively, also making a person appear more approachable.

Verbal Communication Skills

In addition to adopting a relaxed body posture, learning how to communicate verbally is also important. Knowinghow to start conversations, keep them going, and listen attentively are helpful social anxiety coping skills.

As an example, one quick tip for joining a group of people in conversation is to listen first and then make a comment about what they are already talking about. For example, “Are you talking about the election results? I couldn’t believe them either.” Look for as many opportunities as possible to develop stronger verbal abilities.

Being a good listener, asking open-ended questions, and sharing personal stories can help others get to know us better.

How to Socialize When You Have Social Anxiety Disorder

How to Cope With Social Anxiety Emotions

Fear and anxiety are two of the most common emotions with social anxiety disorder.A few simple strategies can help ease them both.

Talk With Others

Talking about social anxiety with a trusted family member or friend gives the other person the opportunity to provide some much-needed support.To share these feelings with someone specific, send them a text or online message with a request to meet, then arrange a time at a quiet place to talk.

If it feels nerve-wracking to open up, it can help to write down some of the main points to discuss. Sharing the impact ofsocial anxiety symptomswith others can help them gain a better idea of this condition’s effects.

Remember that not everyone will know the ins and outs of social anxiety disorder; some people may need help to understand what it is and how it can impact a person’s life.

Practice Deep Breathing

Having social anxiety generally involves strong emotional reactions in social situations. One way to reduce these anxious reactions is toput the body in a relaxed state. When the body is relaxed, breathing is slow and natural, and the mind is free of negative thoughts, making it easier to enjoy being with others.

It can be easy to breathe too quickly in anxiety-provoking situations, which in turn makes other anxiety symptoms worse. Below are some steps to manage anxious and shallow breathing through adeep breathing exercise.

How to Practice Deep BreathingCount the number of breaths taken in one minute (count an inhale and exhale as one). Make a note of this number. The average person will take 10 to 12 breaths per minute.Focus on the act of breathing. Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. Take deep breaths from the diaphragm instead of shallow breaths from the chest. Inhale for 3 seconds and exhale for 3 seconds (use a watch or clock with a second hand). While exhaling, think “relax” and release tension in the muscles. Continue breathing this way for 5 minutes.Count breaths per minute again and see if the number has gone down.Practice this breathing technique a few times per day when already relaxed. It may help to start practicing upon first waking up and before going to sleep.

How to Practice Deep Breathing

Count the number of breaths taken in one minute (count an inhale and exhale as one). Make a note of this number. The average person will take 10 to 12 breaths per minute.Focus on the act of breathing. Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. Take deep breaths from the diaphragm instead of shallow breaths from the chest. Inhale for 3 seconds and exhale for 3 seconds (use a watch or clock with a second hand). While exhaling, think “relax” and release tension in the muscles. Continue breathing this way for 5 minutes.Count breaths per minute again and see if the number has gone down.Practice this breathing technique a few times per day when already relaxed. It may help to start practicing upon first waking up and before going to sleep.

When in social situations, breathe as practiced. In time, this way of breathing may become more automatic.

Reduce Negative Thoughts

These thoughts can be so automatic that we don’t even realize we are thinking them. Below are some steps to better managenegative thought patterns with social anxiety.

How to Reduce Negative ThoughtsThink of a recent social situation that caused feelings of anxiousness. Write down any negative thoughts that occurred before, during, or after the situation.Ask questions to challenge these negative thoughts. For example, if the negative automatic thought was, “People are yawning, they must think that I am boring,” ask whether there could be a different explanation. In this case, the alternative thought could be “It probably had nothing to do with me, they were just tired.“Try to notice automatic negative thoughts experienced before, during, and after feared social situations, and challenge them with alternatives.

How to Reduce Negative Thoughts

Think of a recent social situation that caused feelings of anxiousness. Write down any negative thoughts that occurred before, during, or after the situation.Ask questions to challenge these negative thoughts. For example, if the negative automatic thought was, “People are yawning, they must think that I am boring,” ask whether there could be a different explanation. In this case, the alternative thought could be “It probably had nothing to do with me, they were just tired.“Try to notice automatic negative thoughts experienced before, during, and after feared social situations, and challenge them with alternatives.

How to Stop Negative Thoughts

Face the Fear

Avoiding feared situationsmay reduce emotional reactions in the short term, but in the long term, it severely limits one’s life. In addition, the number of situations feared grows as the fear becomes more general. On the other hand, gradual exposure to social situations coupled with relaxation techniques helps to reduce the anxiety and emotional reactions associated with those situations.

There are ways to overcome avoidance. To start, identify the top 10 situations avoided. For each situation on the list, break it down into a series of steps, increasing in difficulty. For example, for a person who is afraid of being the center of attention, their steps might look like this:

Practice each step as much as needed before moving on to the next. If anxiety surfaces, challenge the negative thoughts and use the slow breathing technique to relax.

Note that the list created will depend on a person’s individual fears. For example, someone might feel more afraid of speaking in front of people they know well versus a crowd of strangers. In this case, they would reverse items on the list.

How to Be Less Self-Conscious in Social Situations

Day-to-Day Social Anxiety Coping Strategies

Below are some social anxiety coping skills that can be used on a day-to-day basis, such as while at work or attending school.

Press Play for Advice On Reducing Your Anxiety

Mistakes to Avoid With Social Anxiety Disorder

There are a number of common mistakes that people make when trying to overcome social anxiety through self-help strategies. Avoiding these mistakes can keep from making things worse.

While there is some evidence that cannabidiol (CBD), a component of marijuana, may be helpful for social anxiety, there are alsorisks associated with CBD usethat must be considered before choosing this as a coping strategy.

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When to Seek Professional Help for Social Anxiety

Over time, practicing relaxation, challenging negative thoughts, and facing feared situations can help make it easier to manage anxiety in stressful situations. However, people facing severe anxiety on a daily basis should consult their medical care provider or a mental health professional as treatment may be advised.

Don’t wait too long to seek help from a professional. While it can be tempting to think that we can solve this all on our own, people often needtherapy or medicationto successfully manage social anxiety.

How to Recognize Social Anxiety Disorder in Children and Teens

15 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Chapdelaine A, Carrier JD, Fournier L, Duhoux A, Roberge P.Treatment adequacy for social anxiety disorder in primary care patients.PLoS One. 2018;13(11). doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0206357Kählke F, Berger T, Schulz A, et al.Efficacy of an unguided internet‐based self‐help intervention for social anxiety disorder in university students: A randomized controlled trial.Int J Methods Psychiatric Res. 2019;28(2). doi:10.1002/mpr.1766Tsitsas GD, Paschali AA.A cognitive-behavior therapy applied to a social anxiety disorder and a specific phobia, case study.Health Psychol Res. 2014;2(3):1603. doi:10.4081/hpr.2014.1603Manesh RS, Fallahzadeh S, Eshagh Panah MS, Koochehbiuki N, Arabi A, Sahami MA.The effectiveness of assertiveness training on social anxiety of health volunteers of Yazd.Psychol. 2015;6(6):782-787. doi:10.4236/psych.2015.66077Gilboa‐Schechtman E, Keshet H, Peschard V, Azoulay R.Self and identity in social anxiety disorder.J Personal. 2019;88(1). doi:10.1111/jopy.12455Olson CM.Familial factors in the development of social anxiety disorder.J Psychosoc Nurs Mental Health Serv. 2021;59(7). doi:10.3928/02793695-20210219-01Coyle S, Mahmud F, Weeks C, Masia Warner C.School-based treatment for children and adolescents with social anxiety disorder.Social Skills Across the Life Span. 2020:237-254. doi:10.1016/b978-0-12-817752-5.00012-3National Institute of Mental Health.Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.Drissi N, Ouhbi S, Janati Idrissi MA, Ghogho M.An analysis on self-management and treatment-related functionality and characteristics of highly rated anxiety apps.Int J Med Informatics. 2020;141:104243. doi:10.1016/j.ijmedinf.2020.104243Mercan N, Bulut M, Yüksel Ç.Investigation of the relatedness of cognitive distortions with emotional expression, anxiety, and depression.Curr Psychol. 2021;42:2176-2185. doi:10.1007/s12144-021-02251-zRadtke SR, Strege MV, Ollendick TH.Chapter 9 - Exposure therapy for children and adolescents with social anxiety disorder.Exposure Therapy for Children with Anxiety and OCD. 2020:193-219. doi:10.1016/b978-0-12-815915-6.00009-3Glazier BL, Alden LE.Social anxiety disorder and memory for positive feedback.J Abnorm Psychol. 2019;128(3). doi:10.1037/abn0000407Abdollahi A.The association of rumination and perfectionism to social anxiety.Psychiatry. 2019;82(4). doi:10.1080/00332747.2019.1608783Masataka N.Anxiolytic effects of repeated cannabidiol treatment in teenagers with social anxiety disorders.Front Psychol. 2019;10:2466. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02466Pelissolo A, Abou Kassm S, Delhay L.Therapeutic strategies for social anxiety disorder: Where are we now?Expert Rev Neurotherap. 2019;19(12):1179-1189. doi:10.1080/14737175.2019.1666713

15 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Chapdelaine A, Carrier JD, Fournier L, Duhoux A, Roberge P.Treatment adequacy for social anxiety disorder in primary care patients.PLoS One. 2018;13(11). doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0206357Kählke F, Berger T, Schulz A, et al.Efficacy of an unguided internet‐based self‐help intervention for social anxiety disorder in university students: A randomized controlled trial.Int J Methods Psychiatric Res. 2019;28(2). doi:10.1002/mpr.1766Tsitsas GD, Paschali AA.A cognitive-behavior therapy applied to a social anxiety disorder and a specific phobia, case study.Health Psychol Res. 2014;2(3):1603. doi:10.4081/hpr.2014.1603Manesh RS, Fallahzadeh S, Eshagh Panah MS, Koochehbiuki N, Arabi A, Sahami MA.The effectiveness of assertiveness training on social anxiety of health volunteers of Yazd.Psychol. 2015;6(6):782-787. doi:10.4236/psych.2015.66077Gilboa‐Schechtman E, Keshet H, Peschard V, Azoulay R.Self and identity in social anxiety disorder.J Personal. 2019;88(1). doi:10.1111/jopy.12455Olson CM.Familial factors in the development of social anxiety disorder.J Psychosoc Nurs Mental Health Serv. 2021;59(7). doi:10.3928/02793695-20210219-01Coyle S, Mahmud F, Weeks C, Masia Warner C.School-based treatment for children and adolescents with social anxiety disorder.Social Skills Across the Life Span. 2020:237-254. doi:10.1016/b978-0-12-817752-5.00012-3National Institute of Mental Health.Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.Drissi N, Ouhbi S, Janati Idrissi MA, Ghogho M.An analysis on self-management and treatment-related functionality and characteristics of highly rated anxiety apps.Int J Med Informatics. 2020;141:104243. doi:10.1016/j.ijmedinf.2020.104243Mercan N, Bulut M, Yüksel Ç.Investigation of the relatedness of cognitive distortions with emotional expression, anxiety, and depression.Curr Psychol. 2021;42:2176-2185. doi:10.1007/s12144-021-02251-zRadtke SR, Strege MV, Ollendick TH.Chapter 9 - Exposure therapy for children and adolescents with social anxiety disorder.Exposure Therapy for Children with Anxiety and OCD. 2020:193-219. doi:10.1016/b978-0-12-815915-6.00009-3Glazier BL, Alden LE.Social anxiety disorder and memory for positive feedback.J Abnorm Psychol. 2019;128(3). doi:10.1037/abn0000407Abdollahi A.The association of rumination and perfectionism to social anxiety.Psychiatry. 2019;82(4). doi:10.1080/00332747.2019.1608783Masataka N.Anxiolytic effects of repeated cannabidiol treatment in teenagers with social anxiety disorders.Front Psychol. 2019;10:2466. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02466Pelissolo A, Abou Kassm S, Delhay L.Therapeutic strategies for social anxiety disorder: Where are we now?Expert Rev Neurotherap. 2019;19(12):1179-1189. doi:10.1080/14737175.2019.1666713

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Chapdelaine A, Carrier JD, Fournier L, Duhoux A, Roberge P.Treatment adequacy for social anxiety disorder in primary care patients.PLoS One. 2018;13(11). doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0206357Kählke F, Berger T, Schulz A, et al.Efficacy of an unguided internet‐based self‐help intervention for social anxiety disorder in university students: A randomized controlled trial.Int J Methods Psychiatric Res. 2019;28(2). doi:10.1002/mpr.1766Tsitsas GD, Paschali AA.A cognitive-behavior therapy applied to a social anxiety disorder and a specific phobia, case study.Health Psychol Res. 2014;2(3):1603. doi:10.4081/hpr.2014.1603Manesh RS, Fallahzadeh S, Eshagh Panah MS, Koochehbiuki N, Arabi A, Sahami MA.The effectiveness of assertiveness training on social anxiety of health volunteers of Yazd.Psychol. 2015;6(6):782-787. doi:10.4236/psych.2015.66077Gilboa‐Schechtman E, Keshet H, Peschard V, Azoulay R.Self and identity in social anxiety disorder.J Personal. 2019;88(1). doi:10.1111/jopy.12455Olson CM.Familial factors in the development of social anxiety disorder.J Psychosoc Nurs Mental Health Serv. 2021;59(7). doi:10.3928/02793695-20210219-01Coyle S, Mahmud F, Weeks C, Masia Warner C.School-based treatment for children and adolescents with social anxiety disorder.Social Skills Across the Life Span. 2020:237-254. doi:10.1016/b978-0-12-817752-5.00012-3National Institute of Mental Health.Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.Drissi N, Ouhbi S, Janati Idrissi MA, Ghogho M.An analysis on self-management and treatment-related functionality and characteristics of highly rated anxiety apps.Int J Med Informatics. 2020;141:104243. doi:10.1016/j.ijmedinf.2020.104243Mercan N, Bulut M, Yüksel Ç.Investigation of the relatedness of cognitive distortions with emotional expression, anxiety, and depression.Curr Psychol. 2021;42:2176-2185. doi:10.1007/s12144-021-02251-zRadtke SR, Strege MV, Ollendick TH.Chapter 9 - Exposure therapy for children and adolescents with social anxiety disorder.Exposure Therapy for Children with Anxiety and OCD. 2020:193-219. doi:10.1016/b978-0-12-815915-6.00009-3Glazier BL, Alden LE.Social anxiety disorder and memory for positive feedback.J Abnorm Psychol. 2019;128(3). doi:10.1037/abn0000407Abdollahi A.The association of rumination and perfectionism to social anxiety.Psychiatry. 2019;82(4). doi:10.1080/00332747.2019.1608783Masataka N.Anxiolytic effects of repeated cannabidiol treatment in teenagers with social anxiety disorders.Front Psychol. 2019;10:2466. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02466Pelissolo A, Abou Kassm S, Delhay L.Therapeutic strategies for social anxiety disorder: Where are we now?Expert Rev Neurotherap. 2019;19(12):1179-1189. doi:10.1080/14737175.2019.1666713

Chapdelaine A, Carrier JD, Fournier L, Duhoux A, Roberge P.Treatment adequacy for social anxiety disorder in primary care patients.PLoS One. 2018;13(11). doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0206357

Kählke F, Berger T, Schulz A, et al.Efficacy of an unguided internet‐based self‐help intervention for social anxiety disorder in university students: A randomized controlled trial.Int J Methods Psychiatric Res. 2019;28(2). doi:10.1002/mpr.1766

Tsitsas GD, Paschali AA.A cognitive-behavior therapy applied to a social anxiety disorder and a specific phobia, case study.Health Psychol Res. 2014;2(3):1603. doi:10.4081/hpr.2014.1603

Manesh RS, Fallahzadeh S, Eshagh Panah MS, Koochehbiuki N, Arabi A, Sahami MA.The effectiveness of assertiveness training on social anxiety of health volunteers of Yazd.Psychol. 2015;6(6):782-787. doi:10.4236/psych.2015.66077

Gilboa‐Schechtman E, Keshet H, Peschard V, Azoulay R.Self and identity in social anxiety disorder.J Personal. 2019;88(1). doi:10.1111/jopy.12455

Olson CM.Familial factors in the development of social anxiety disorder.J Psychosoc Nurs Mental Health Serv. 2021;59(7). doi:10.3928/02793695-20210219-01

Coyle S, Mahmud F, Weeks C, Masia Warner C.School-based treatment for children and adolescents with social anxiety disorder.Social Skills Across the Life Span. 2020:237-254. doi:10.1016/b978-0-12-817752-5.00012-3

National Institute of Mental Health.Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.

Drissi N, Ouhbi S, Janati Idrissi MA, Ghogho M.An analysis on self-management and treatment-related functionality and characteristics of highly rated anxiety apps.Int J Med Informatics. 2020;141:104243. doi:10.1016/j.ijmedinf.2020.104243

Mercan N, Bulut M, Yüksel Ç.Investigation of the relatedness of cognitive distortions with emotional expression, anxiety, and depression.Curr Psychol. 2021;42:2176-2185. doi:10.1007/s12144-021-02251-z

Radtke SR, Strege MV, Ollendick TH.Chapter 9 - Exposure therapy for children and adolescents with social anxiety disorder.Exposure Therapy for Children with Anxiety and OCD. 2020:193-219. doi:10.1016/b978-0-12-815915-6.00009-3

Glazier BL, Alden LE.Social anxiety disorder and memory for positive feedback.J Abnorm Psychol. 2019;128(3). doi:10.1037/abn0000407

Abdollahi A.The association of rumination and perfectionism to social anxiety.Psychiatry. 2019;82(4). doi:10.1080/00332747.2019.1608783

Masataka N.Anxiolytic effects of repeated cannabidiol treatment in teenagers with social anxiety disorders.Front Psychol. 2019;10:2466. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02466

Pelissolo A, Abou Kassm S, Delhay L.Therapeutic strategies for social anxiety disorder: Where are we now?Expert Rev Neurotherap. 2019;19(12):1179-1189. doi:10.1080/14737175.2019.1666713

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