Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy Do We Blame Scam Victims?The Harmful Impact of Victim BlamingAshley Cairns' StoryKate N.’s StoryHow To Support Scam VictimsResources for Victims

Table of ContentsView All

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Table of Contents

Why Do We Blame Scam Victims?

The Harmful Impact of Victim Blaming

Ashley Cairns' Story

Kate N.’s Story

How To Support Scam Victims

Resources for Victims

Close

“The IRS will not call you on the phone.” “Your bank will not ask you for your social security number on a call they initiated.” “The police will not call you if there is a warrant out for your arrest.”

Unfortunately, many victims of scams feel they cannot talk about their experience without beingshamedfor “falling for” the scam. If you have been scammed, you might feel embarrassed or guilty, and those with whom you share your story might ridicule you for what happened. But know that it is not your fault. Victim blaming those who’ve been scammed helps no one, not the victims here’s why.

“I cannot believe you fell for that. I would have immediately known it was a scam” is a common thought when someone discloses that they have been scammed. A natural conclusion but one based oncognitive distortionsthat do not reflect reality.

The Just World Phenomenon

The Melvin J. Learner’sBelief in a Just Worldis the psychological phenomenon where we want to believe that the world is a just and fair place, where good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. If we assume the world is just, then people who fall victim to scams must have deserved it.After all, how is it fair for an innocent person to be scammed?

Unfortunately, the world is not always a fair and just place, and awful things happen to good people every day.

The “In Hindsight” Bias

Hindsight biasis the tendency to overestimate how accurately we can predict the future. When someone shares their story of being scammed, you know the end at the beginning. Hindsight bias is saying, “I would have known all along that it was a scam” when you cannot truly know how you would have responded at the moment.

Defensive Attribution

And then there’s defensive attribution, which is the tendency to blame victims for their experiences in order to protect yourself from the terrifying reality that bad things can happen to you, too. Survivors of sexual violence often experience victim blaming due to the defensive attribution because blamers will tell themselves, “If it is the victim’s fault, then I could never experience what they went through because I would have behaved differently.”

Although these distortions explain why people hold scam victims responsible for being scammed, it is important to remember that victim blaming is harmful and does not actually protect others from being scammed.

When someone has been scammed, the emotional impact can be devastating. The Just World belief, hindsight bias, and defensive attribution can all be turned inward, and many victims blame themselves for their experience. When this blaming also comes from external sources, it can be even more difficult to recover emotionally. They might feel they cannot or do not deserve to access support.

Victim Shaming Only Helps Scammers Scam More

Additionally, scams are constantly changing. New scams pop up all the time, making it nearly impossible to stay on top of every one of them. When victims are shamed and blamed for their experience, they feel like they cannot speak out about what happened. This makes it even more difficult to know what scams are out there. People need to feel safe sharing their experiences so others can learn and be more protected.

Finally, when weblame victimsof scams, it shifts responsibility off of the people doing the scamming. Scams happen because there are scammers, and they use psychological tactics tomanipulatepeople into believing them.

Ashley Cairns, counselor and co-founder of A Change for Better, was scammed when she first launched her business. “I went to a ‘reputable’ web development company located in Auckland,” she says. “They promised us a fully working website with specific custom features within 6 weeks for $36,000. They asked for $13,000 down to start the build with the rest due on completion. After 6 months, they still did not have any website, despite daily emails from me asking for updates.”

Scammers come in many forms and go to great lengths to appear legitimate.

As Cairns pursued fraud charges against the company, she encountered other victims of the same scam: “If this story wasn’t bad enough, while we were getting those affidavits, one of the web companies we talked to had a client who came to them who’d used the same ‘reputable’ company as us and had been scammed too. An elderly retired couple took to making and selling wooden toys. That web company scammed them out of $10,000 and left them with a website that no longer functioned or showed on Google.”

Fortunately, Cairns got her money back with interest, but not before she spent months fighting the company in court.

The fact is: you do not know how you would handle that moment until it happens.

If someone tells you they have experienced a scam, check your immediate emotional response. If your impulse is toblamethem, tell them they should have known better, or otherwise ridicule them for their experience, keep that to yourself. Explore the psychological reasons why you might opt to shift blame to victims rather than perpetrators.

Put them in touch with appropriate resources, and listen with empathy. If others are engaging in victim-blaming, call them out and educate them.

What to Say When Victims Begin to Self-Blame

If they are blaming themselves, tell them that their experience is not their fault. Remember it is easy to say the outcome is obvious when you already know they were scammed. It is never helpful to blame someone for being scammed. None of us are immune, and next time it could be you.

Cairns' advice to other victims? “Don’t give up,” she says. “Keep good records always. Never transfer cash to a bank account, always use a credit card with fraud protection.”

Kate echoed these statements, adding that even though being scammed is unfortunate, chances are it happened because you’re a good and trusting person.

“So many people have been burned to the point that they don’t trust anyone anymore, and that makes it harder for them to be open and do something kind like donate to a summer sports league,” she says. “Stay soft, stay hopeful about the potential for good in people, but also learn the signs of a scammer so you can prevent it should you ever find yourself in that situation again.”

If you or someone you know has been scammed, there are resources available that can help. If the victim isstruggling emotionallyor working to rebuildconfidenceand trust, they can work with a therapist to process what happened and cope with their emotions.

There are organizations to help victims recover financially after a scam, including:

Key Takeaways

Scams are pervasive in modern society, and victim blaming the people scammers harm is not helpful or productive. It prevents emotional recovery and puts others at risk when information about current scams is not shared. Furthermore, to say that it is the victim’s fault they were scammed is simply not true. Scams would not happen if there were no scammers trying to con innocent people.

If you have been scammed, know that it is not your fault. If someone you know has been scammed, learn from their experience, but do notshamethem for what happened.

Hopefully, we can one day live in a world where scams are a thing of the past, but for now, victims need support and not shame.

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Federal Trade Commission.FTC Data Shows Major Increases in Cash Payments to Government Impersonation Scammers. (2024).Nataraj-Hansen S, Richards K.Why do fraud victims get blamed? Lerner’s Belief in a Just World and its application to victims of online fraud.JFC. 2023;30(3):828-839Hoffrage U, Pohl R.Research on hindsight bias: A rich past, a productive present, and a challenging future.Memory. 2003;11(4-5):329-335.Pinciotti CM, Orcutt HK.It won’t happen to me: an examination of the effectiveness of defensive attribution in rape victim blaming.Violence Against Women. 2020;26(10):1059-1079.

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Federal Trade Commission.FTC Data Shows Major Increases in Cash Payments to Government Impersonation Scammers. (2024).Nataraj-Hansen S, Richards K.Why do fraud victims get blamed? Lerner’s Belief in a Just World and its application to victims of online fraud.JFC. 2023;30(3):828-839Hoffrage U, Pohl R.Research on hindsight bias: A rich past, a productive present, and a challenging future.Memory. 2003;11(4-5):329-335.Pinciotti CM, Orcutt HK.It won’t happen to me: an examination of the effectiveness of defensive attribution in rape victim blaming.Violence Against Women. 2020;26(10):1059-1079.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Federal Trade Commission.FTC Data Shows Major Increases in Cash Payments to Government Impersonation Scammers. (2024).Nataraj-Hansen S, Richards K.Why do fraud victims get blamed? Lerner’s Belief in a Just World and its application to victims of online fraud.JFC. 2023;30(3):828-839Hoffrage U, Pohl R.Research on hindsight bias: A rich past, a productive present, and a challenging future.Memory. 2003;11(4-5):329-335.Pinciotti CM, Orcutt HK.It won’t happen to me: an examination of the effectiveness of defensive attribution in rape victim blaming.Violence Against Women. 2020;26(10):1059-1079.

Federal Trade Commission.FTC Data Shows Major Increases in Cash Payments to Government Impersonation Scammers. (2024).

Nataraj-Hansen S, Richards K.Why do fraud victims get blamed? Lerner’s Belief in a Just World and its application to victims of online fraud.JFC. 2023;30(3):828-839

Hoffrage U, Pohl R.Research on hindsight bias: A rich past, a productive present, and a challenging future.Memory. 2003;11(4-5):329-335.

Pinciotti CM, Orcutt HK.It won’t happen to me: an examination of the effectiveness of defensive attribution in rape victim blaming.Violence Against Women. 2020;26(10):1059-1079.

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