Updated on 3/2/21
While you want to think your partner always has your best interest at heart and is your biggest supporter, unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Insecurities can lead to an unhealthy relationship dynamic where your partner tries to sabotage your success.
They might try to hinder your progress toward reaching your goals, discourage you from working hard to get a big promotion at work, or keep you from embarking on a new fitness program to lose weight.
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.Learn more
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Couples Therapy Online
Strengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Learn more
Signs Your Partner is Sabotaging Your Success
At first, you might not realize that your partner is trying to sabotage your progress or success. But it might creep up on you, growing into something that you simply can’t ignore. You might realize that your partner doesn’t encourage you to follow your dreams (no matter how big or small) or if they make you feel guilty for being ambitious, working hard, or reaching your goals.
Some signs Catchings says you should be on the lookout for are:
Again, it might not always be direct or obvious behavior, so you need to be on the lookout for it, and trust your gut if you feel like something’s up.
Why Partners Sabotage
There are numerous reasons why your partner might want to sabotage you, consciously or unconsciously. According to Catchings, “Most times [the reason for sabotaging] is insecurity, fear of abandonment, or jealousy.” Fear of abandonment and jealousy stem from insecurity, so really, it’s likely that any sabotaging is stemming from your partner’s own lack self-consciousness.
They feel threatened
Lack of trust
“Another reason [for sabotage] might be the lack of trust,” adds Catchings. “Success might come with extra attention from others and this might scare some individuals, creating mistrust.” Again, though, this really boils down to insecurity. If your partner was secure in themselves and your relationship, they likely wouldn’t feel as much of a threat.
One more thing to note: your partner really might not realize they’re sabotaging you or harming you…but that doesn’t make it okay. Catchings warns, “Sometimes, the person might be unaware of his/her/their behaviors, but we must be careful and observant, since this can also be used as an excuse.”
What to do if Your Partner is Sabotaging You
Once you’ve seen the signs that your partner is sabotaging you, you can take action. “Recognizing the sabotage is just the first step. Avoiding making excuses for our partner’s negative behavior is the second one,” says Catchings.
When you love someone, it’s definitely easy to make excuses for them. But if you want to continue to grow and succeed, you cannot make excuses for the way they’re treating you if they’re constantly trying to bring you down.
Communicate
Know when to seek professional help
Your partner should want to support you and help you reach your goals. If they continue to engage in manipulative, controlling, sabotaging behaviors even after you have a serious discussion with them about it, it might be time toget a professional involved…if you decide you want to stay in a relationship with this person, that is.
“If the sabotage behaviors continue, look for help,” Catchings advises. “Seeing a therapist can be a great way to eliminate the sabotaging permanently.”
Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.
Articles contain trusted third-party sources that are either directly linked to in the text or listed at the bottom to take readers directly to the source.
Share0Tweet0Pin it1
Share0
Tweet0
Pin it1
