Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat is the Orange Peel Theory?Take This With a Grain of Salt (Don’t Salt Your Orange Though, Gross)The Love Language of It AllWhat to Do If You and Your Partner Have Different Love Languages?So, Should You Use the Orange Peel Theory to Test Your Relationship?

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

What is the Orange Peel Theory?

Take This With a Grain of Salt (Don’t Salt Your Orange Though, Gross)

The Love Language of It All

What to Do If You and Your Partner Have Different Love Languages?

So, Should You Use the Orange Peel Theory to Test Your Relationship?

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It all started when I was onTikTokthe other day. I noticed a series of videos showing up on my For You Page that didn’t make sense at first.Young couples, typically cisgender and heterosexual, exchanged oranges.

The Orange Peel Theory is yet anotherTikTok trendin a sea of videos that focus on testing thestrengthof your relationship. Other recent trends include videos of women pouring large amounts of ketchup on the counter and asking their partners to clean it up and simply grilling your partner to see if they answer questions to your liking.

How to Tell If You’re In a One-Sided Relationship

As a therapist, I have concerns about these trends. First, there is emerging evidence that social media usage can beharmful to relationships.Second, there is also research that indicates how damaging it can be to compare ourselves to others onsocial media.

But, above all, tricking your partner in the public domain is never a great way to establish health andconnectionin a relationship. There’s far too much room for misunderstanding. What if your partner doesn’t want to clean up the pile of ketchup because they are in the middle of something? What if they misunderstand why you want an orange? Filming and posting these types of interactions on the internet could feel embarrassing and devaluing to them.

This being said, if you chat about the experience with your partner afterward and mutually find it to be a fun and silly moment, then no harm no foul. Just keep in mind as you scroll through TikTok that what you see is just a slice of people’s lives, not the whole story. This will help you avoid the trap of comparison.

Signs You Might Be In an Unhealthy Relationship, And What to Do

While I have concerns about the Orange Peel Theory, it does speak to an interesting aspect of relational health: The concept oflove languages. The idea behind love languages is that there are five different methods of giving and receiving love. These five love languages arewords of affirmation,physical touch,acts of service,receiving gifts, andquality time.The orange peel theory speaks to acts of service – if your partner peels the orange, they’re performing an act of service.

But, above all, tricking your partner in the public domain is never a great way to establish health and connection in a relationship.

When viewed through the lens of love languages, the orange peel theory boils down to an attempt to have one’s love language answered. Rather than making a funny TikTok using the Orange Peel Theory, consider taking ourLove Language Quiztogether. This can help the two of you connect on how you can meet each other’s desires.

Why Communication In Relationships Is So Important

Take Our Love Language Quiz

It is common to have different love languages, so don’t fret if you and your partner realize you’re not on the same page. Part of the power of love languages is that it can allow us to see how we might bemissing each other’s needsand offers us opportunities to learn how to meet our partner better.

An activity you two can do together once you each identify your love language is to make a list of all the activities you can think of that you feel would satisfy your love language. Then, you can trade lists and discuss each activity. For example, your partner might be surprised to hear you’d want them to peel the orange for you.

Alternatively, you may learn your partner’s love language ofphysical touchdoesn’t actually just mean sex. This activity is still powerful even if you have the same love language. You two may likely interpret things differently.

To take this a step further, you can decide to place each other’s list somewhere you will see it daily. This way, when you’re stumped ondate ideasor feel the relationship is falling into a rut, you can reflect on this list and have plenty of ideas to revive things.

17 Fun Couple Activities to Enjoy Each Other’s Company

The Orange Peel Theory isn’t an adequate way to assess if your relationship ishealthy, nor does it prove if someone loves you or not.Testingsomeone in a relationship is never an ideal way to feel closer.

If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, discuss it with them. If you ask them to peel an orange for you and they don’t want to do it, talk to them about that. Tell them how little acts of service make you feel loved. See how they’re feeling and assess if there are ways you two can bridge yourcommunication gaps.

If you’re noticing communication breakdowns in your relationship, it may be time to consider ways to gather extra support. Seeking outcouples therapycan be immensely helpful. Some folks consider it a last resort, but starting it before things get off the rails in a relationship is how deep healing and connection can take place.

Couples Therapy Resources

Not sure where to find a couples therapist? No worries. We loveInclusive Therapistsbecause they have extensive search filters that help you find the perfect match for you.Open Path Collectiveis another great directory—it has a diverse roster of providers offering sliding-scale sessions.

Finally, if you’re not quite ready to leap into couples therapy but want some extra support, we love theGottman Card Decks App. It is an app designed with the evidence-basedGottman Methodin mind that can help couples enhance their communication, restore connection, and find intimacy again.

Should You Pay Closer Attention to Beige Flags in a Relationship?

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Bouffard S, Giglio D, Zheng Z.Social media and romantic relationship: excessive social media use leads to relationship conflicts, negative outcomes, and addiction via mediated pathways.Social Science Computer Review. 2022;40(6):1523-1541. doi: 10.1177/089443932110135Samra A, Warburton WA, Collins AM.Social comparisons: A potential mechanism linking problematic social media use with depression.J Behav Addict. 2022;11(2):607-614. doi: 10.1556/2006.2022.00023Mostova O, Stolarski M, Matthews G.I love the way you love me: Responding to partner’s love language preferences boosts satisfaction in romantic heterosexual couples.PLoS One. 2022;17(6):e0269429. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0269429

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Bouffard S, Giglio D, Zheng Z.Social media and romantic relationship: excessive social media use leads to relationship conflicts, negative outcomes, and addiction via mediated pathways.Social Science Computer Review. 2022;40(6):1523-1541. doi: 10.1177/089443932110135Samra A, Warburton WA, Collins AM.Social comparisons: A potential mechanism linking problematic social media use with depression.J Behav Addict. 2022;11(2):607-614. doi: 10.1556/2006.2022.00023Mostova O, Stolarski M, Matthews G.I love the way you love me: Responding to partner’s love language preferences boosts satisfaction in romantic heterosexual couples.PLoS One. 2022;17(6):e0269429. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0269429

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Bouffard S, Giglio D, Zheng Z.Social media and romantic relationship: excessive social media use leads to relationship conflicts, negative outcomes, and addiction via mediated pathways.Social Science Computer Review. 2022;40(6):1523-1541. doi: 10.1177/089443932110135Samra A, Warburton WA, Collins AM.Social comparisons: A potential mechanism linking problematic social media use with depression.J Behav Addict. 2022;11(2):607-614. doi: 10.1556/2006.2022.00023Mostova O, Stolarski M, Matthews G.I love the way you love me: Responding to partner’s love language preferences boosts satisfaction in romantic heterosexual couples.PLoS One. 2022;17(6):e0269429. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0269429

Bouffard S, Giglio D, Zheng Z.Social media and romantic relationship: excessive social media use leads to relationship conflicts, negative outcomes, and addiction via mediated pathways.Social Science Computer Review. 2022;40(6):1523-1541. doi: 10.1177/089443932110135

Samra A, Warburton WA, Collins AM.Social comparisons: A potential mechanism linking problematic social media use with depression.J Behav Addict. 2022;11(2):607-614. doi: 10.1556/2006.2022.00023

Mostova O, Stolarski M, Matthews G.I love the way you love me: Responding to partner’s love language preferences boosts satisfaction in romantic heterosexual couples.PLoS One. 2022;17(6):e0269429. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0269429

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