A little bit of jealousy is healthy for a relationship. If you didn’t care at all about your partner leaving you for someone else, this would generally be considered a bad sign for your relationship. In fact, in evolutionary psychology, there is a phenomenon known as “mate guarding,” which is when an animal guards their mate more closely around potential rivals.

Humans do the same thing when they become more aware or vigilant about their partner’s behavior around other attractive people. And people often respond positively to minor signs of jealousy in their partners. They assume that it means that their partners value them, consider them attractive to others, and don’t want to lose them.

Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.Learn more

Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.

Couples Therapy Online

Strengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.

Learn more

How Jealousy Becomes a Relationship Issue

Small amounts of jealousy are normal, and even healthy, but problems begin when jealousy becomes more intense and less controlled.

The Jealousy Recipient

The recipient of the jealousy may feel controlled, constricted, and resentful. They feel like they can’t go anywhere or do anything without their partner becoming upset and jealous. The smallest and most innocent interactions are analyzed, and the person feels accused and violated. They start to chafe against the restrictions that their partner places on them, and may feel embarrassed telling friends or family about how jealous their partner is.

The Jealous Partner

On the other hand, the jealous partner may also suffer.

The Jealousy Dynamic

There are some relationships where both partners are equally jealous, but not as many. Mostly, couples who struggle with this issue consist of one partner who is jealous and accusatory, and the other who is more passive and tries to placate the other. Fights are constant in these relationships, only pausing when the object of the jealousy decides to cut themselves off from external interests and friends in order to calm the partner down.

Signs You Should Seek Relationship Therapy

Some key warning signs that you and your partner need toseek couples counseling for helpwith jealousy are:

How Can I Fix Jealousy in my Relationship?

If this article describes your relationship,I encourage you to reach out to a therapist. As I mentioned, insecurity is a key trait of both partners in a jealous relationship.

Both partners likely saw unstable marriages when growing up, and now have no idea what a trusting relationship between adults looks like.Couple’s counselingand/or individual therapy for both partners can be very useful in helping partners understand what a healthy relationship is, and how to change their dynamic such that they no longer have to fight and suffer all the time.

Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.

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