Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsHow to KnowWhy Have I Lost Feelings for My Partner?How to Restore FeelingsWhat Does It Mean?Couples Counseling
Table of ContentsView All
View All
Table of Contents
How to Know
Why Have I Lost Feelings for My Partner?
How to Restore Feelings
What Does It Mean?
Couples Counseling
Close
Relationshipscan be difficult at times, and it’s not uncommon for us to find ourselves losing romantic feelings and facing the decision of whether to remain with a partner or separate.
If you’re in this position right now and are unsure if you want to continue the relationship, it’s important to remember that relationships can go through many different phases and can change over time.
Just because you have lost feelings right now doesn’t mean that you can’t ever get them back.
How Do I Know If I’m Losing Interest in My Relationship?
Below are red flags that may indicate your relationship might need to be re-evaluated:
Verywell / Theresa Chiechi
While these are just a fewred flagsto watch out for within yourself, they don’t always mean your relationship is over. If you’re willing to put in the work to reignite that spark, there are a few things you can do.
What to Do If You’re Not Attracted to Your Partner Anymore
Several factors may cause someone tolose feelings in a relationship. These include:
Getting close is easy but staying close requires that two people possess certain emotional capabilities. A discrepancy inemotional intelligencemay cause a division.—ERIN LEONARD, PHD, PSYCHOTHERAPIST AND AUTHOR OF “LOVING WELL”
Getting close is easy but staying close requires that two people possess certain emotional capabilities. A discrepancy inemotional intelligencemay cause a division.
—ERIN LEONARD, PHD, PSYCHOTHERAPIST AND AUTHOR OF “LOVING WELL”
Every relationship is different, however. In reality, many different factors may play a role. Over time, poor communication and diminished intimacy can contribute to further conflicts and problems that worsen this loss of romantic feelings for your partner.
How Do You Restore Feelings in a Relationship?
If you are interested in trying to revive your relationship, there are ways to do so. The most important factor is that you and your partner want the same thing, whether it be relationship therapy ordivorce.
If one of you isn’t interested in salvaging the marriage, it will not work out unless you have a very strong reason for staying together.
What to Do When You Lose Feelings In a RelationshipConsider what has changedRemind yourself about your partner’s good qualitiesTake an interest in your partnerAppreciate and respect one anotherShow empathyOpen the lines of communicationGo on dates
What to Do When You Lose Feelings In a Relationship
Consider what has changedRemind yourself about your partner’s good qualitiesTake an interest in your partnerAppreciate and respect one anotherShow empathyOpen the lines of communicationGo on dates
Take a Step Backward to Go Forward
Take some time to think about what that first phase of your relationship was like before you started losing feelings. Ask yourself what was different. Did you treat one another the way you do now?
Remember the Things You Love About Your Partner
Take some time to reflect on the qualities you love and cherish about your partner. Pay attention to things they do that bring a smile, like their sense of humor or how spontaneous they are.
Maintain and Support You and Your Partner’s Interests
In the early stages of a relationship, sometimes known as thehoneymoon phase, both of you are still seeing yourself as separate, so you maintain the aspects of who you are that make you feel fulfilled. Often, it’s these same qualities that made you fall in love with your partner. Don’t forget what it felt like for them to be your person.
Build a Culture of Appreciation and Respect
We all have our flaws. Rather than focusing on your partners’ shortcomings, learn to accept them. And whenever you can express the things you cherish about your partner make sure to do so.
According to Kyle Benson, relationship expert, “the idea is to catch your partner doing something right and say, ‘thanks for doing that. I noticed you unloaded the dishwasher, andI appreciate it.'”
Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence
Erin Leonard, PhD, says, “Getting close is easy but staying close requires that two people possess certain emotional capabilities. A discrepancy inemotional intelligencemay cause a division.”
Healthy relationships require both partners to work hard and empathize with each other to be successful.If one partner is not willing, it may cause an issue that needs to be resolved quickly before the relationship deteriorates.
Talk to Them
Although it may appear obvious, many couples forget how to sit down andtalk to each other.You don’t need to be upfront and let them know how you’re feeling right away, but small conversations can help you open the doors to those meaningful discussions later on.
When it happens, be upfront and let your partner know how you’re feeling. Together, you’ll be able to decide on how to move forward. With honesty and trust, communicating can give you the push you need to rekindle a relationship.
Date Your Partner Again
It’s easy to stop paying as much attention to your partner as you did initially, but if you want to rekindle the feelings you used to share, it could be as simple as paying more attention to the relationship.
If you’re married, remember that this doesn’t mean you have to stopdating one another. Treat them the way you used to when you were trying to win them over. Think about what you used to do for each other and recreate those experiences, like where you went on your first date, things you used to do together, etc.
The Quality Time Love Language and Your Relationship
Is It OK to Lose Feelings in a Relationship?
You might find yourself wondering if you can lose feelings for someone you love. You might wonder if you actually loved them in the first place.
It’s totally normal to have times when you feel more or less in love with your partner. At the same time, it’s painful to have stillnesses in a relationship that leave you feeling lost or doubting its future.
You may still “love” your partner, and you may still want it to work with them. But for some reason, it seems inaccessible.
The question then becomes should you stay in a relationship if you lose feelings? If you’re struggling in your relationship, at some point, you’ll need to decide whether you want to put the work in or you want something else.
I Don’t Love You: How to Tell Someone You Don’t Love Them
As long as both of you are ready to fight for your relationship,couples’ therapycan support you in making the changes and progress you need. An experienced therapist can help you recognize the areas that need improvement and help you learn different strategies to improve your relationship, such asactive listeningorcommunication skills.
However, keep in mind that therapy will only work if you’re willing to invest the necessary time and effort into it. Simply going to therapy and listening throughout the session won’t be enough. You’ll need to take the recommended steps your therapist suggests and look for places to make said changes.
Being transparent and honest will always be the most crucial step in strengthening the feelings and quality of your relationship. If you’re unwilling to put the work in, consider meeting with a counselor on your own. They can help you make a decision and help you process how you can move forward.
The 10 Best Online Couples Therapy Services We Tried and Tested
Keep in Mind
At some point, if you still don’t have romantic feelings, it’s important to start accepting this reality and moving on. Your partner deserves a relationship partner with whom they can share love. Nothing short of that will do because they are worthy of a life filled with joy and affection.
As a Relationship Coach, These Are the 5 Things About Love I Tell Every Couple
4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Leonard E.Why did My partner lose his feelings for me?www.psychologytoday.com.Benson K.3 steps to reconnect when you feel disconnected from your partner. HuffPost.Perrone-McGovern KM, Oliveira-Silva P, Simon-Dack S, et al.Effects of empathy and conflict resolution strategies on psychophysiological arousal and satisfaction in romantic relationships.Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback. 2013;39(1). doi:10.1007/s10484-013-9237-2Lachica N, Stockwell A, Gamba J.What did I just say? An individualized behavior skills training for listening behaviors of adult participants in romantic relationships.Sexual and Relationship Therapy. Published online May 19, 2021:1-24. doi:10.1080/14681994.2021.1922664
4 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Leonard E.Why did My partner lose his feelings for me?www.psychologytoday.com.Benson K.3 steps to reconnect when you feel disconnected from your partner. HuffPost.Perrone-McGovern KM, Oliveira-Silva P, Simon-Dack S, et al.Effects of empathy and conflict resolution strategies on psychophysiological arousal and satisfaction in romantic relationships.Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback. 2013;39(1). doi:10.1007/s10484-013-9237-2Lachica N, Stockwell A, Gamba J.What did I just say? An individualized behavior skills training for listening behaviors of adult participants in romantic relationships.Sexual and Relationship Therapy. Published online May 19, 2021:1-24. doi:10.1080/14681994.2021.1922664
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Leonard E.Why did My partner lose his feelings for me?www.psychologytoday.com.Benson K.3 steps to reconnect when you feel disconnected from your partner. HuffPost.Perrone-McGovern KM, Oliveira-Silva P, Simon-Dack S, et al.Effects of empathy and conflict resolution strategies on psychophysiological arousal and satisfaction in romantic relationships.Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback. 2013;39(1). doi:10.1007/s10484-013-9237-2Lachica N, Stockwell A, Gamba J.What did I just say? An individualized behavior skills training for listening behaviors of adult participants in romantic relationships.Sexual and Relationship Therapy. Published online May 19, 2021:1-24. doi:10.1080/14681994.2021.1922664
Leonard E.Why did My partner lose his feelings for me?www.psychologytoday.com.
Benson K.3 steps to reconnect when you feel disconnected from your partner. HuffPost.
Perrone-McGovern KM, Oliveira-Silva P, Simon-Dack S, et al.Effects of empathy and conflict resolution strategies on psychophysiological arousal and satisfaction in romantic relationships.Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback. 2013;39(1). doi:10.1007/s10484-013-9237-2
Lachica N, Stockwell A, Gamba J.What did I just say? An individualized behavior skills training for listening behaviors of adult participants in romantic relationships.Sexual and Relationship Therapy. Published online May 19, 2021:1-24. doi:10.1080/14681994.2021.1922664
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