Is Acts of Service Their Love Language? Here's How to Speak It

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsGiving Acts of ServiceReceiving Acts of ServiceWhat’s Your Love Language?Understanding Your Partner’s Love Language

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Giving Acts of Service

Receiving Acts of Service

What’s Your Love Language?

Understanding Your Partner’s Love Language

Growing up, my father would cut up pineapple and leave little pieces in the fridge, a toothpick poking out of each, because he knew that pineapple was my favorite fruit. I didn’t know it then, but my father showed his love through Acts of Service. He’d take my car, unannounced, and fill it up with gas. He’d spend hours washing windows, cleaning leather shoes, running to the grocery store. This was his way of showing me his love and affection.

Acts of Service is a language that can best be described as doing something for your partner or loved one that you know they would like, such as filling up their gas, watering their plants, or cooking them a meal. When you give acts of service, you give your time and effort to them. Thisnon-verbal form of lovecan be time-consuming and exhausting, but if it’s what your loved one needs, then it’s worth the effort.

Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages” dives into the power of communicating love in relationships, both intimate and platonic.He explains that each of us gives and receives love differently. Of the five languages (Acts of Service,Quality Time,Words of Affirmation,Physical Touch, andReceiving Gifts), we often prefer one more than the others.

If you have identified that your partner or loved one prefers to receive acts of service, then you’re one step closer to making them feel loved (and assuming you love your partner, or loved one you should want to make them feel this way). Whether it’s in your nature to give acts of service, or not, know that anyone can learn this love language.

When it comes to performing acts of service, here are four things you can do in your romantic relationship (although the same can apply to your platonic ones as well; adjust as needed!):

Ifyouprefer to receive acts of service above all other love languages, then it’s important to tell your partner this. Just make sure you are kind and patient as you ask for the things you want. Acts of service aren’t always easy to do, and you shouldn’t assume that your partner will do everything you ask simply because you prefer acts of service.

Try and cherish these efforts, recognizing that your partner likely loves you, even if they can’t perform acts of service that day or week.

Your Partner Cannot Fulfill All Your Emotional Needs

Try our fast and free quiz to find out what your love language is. You and your partner can take it together as a way to better understand and communicate each other’s needs.

You don’t have to speak the same love language to have a lasting, fulfilling relationship. You just have to know how tocommunicate your needs with your partner, whatever those may be. Communication is a key component of every healthy relationship and it’s especially important if you wish to achieve a long-lasting relationship with your spouse–or with any loved one.

How to Know If You Are in a Healthy Relationship

2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Chapman G.The 5 Love Languages. Perfection Learning Corporation; 2010.Pew Research Center.Sharing chores a key to good marriage, say majority of married adults.

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Chapman G.The 5 Love Languages. Perfection Learning Corporation; 2010.Pew Research Center.Sharing chores a key to good marriage, say majority of married adults.

Chapman G.The 5 Love Languages. Perfection Learning Corporation; 2010.Pew Research Center.Sharing chores a key to good marriage, say majority of married adults.

Chapman G.The 5 Love Languages. Perfection Learning Corporation; 2010.

Pew Research Center.Sharing chores a key to good marriage, say majority of married adults.

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