I'm Feeling Lost, How Do I Find Myself?

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsThe Importance of Understanding YourselfHow to Find Yourself

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

The Importance of Understanding Yourself

How to Find Yourself

We’ve all been there—those moments when life feelsoverwhelmingand we can’t seem to find our way. We find ourselves wondering, “Who am I really?” or “What am I doing with my life?” Moments when we just feel…lost.

“These feelings often emerge during times of change, transition, or stress,” saysKristin Wilson, MA, LPC, CCTP, RYT, Chief Experience Officer at Newport Healthcare.

Whether you’re at a crossroads in your career, coping withgrief, feeling disconnected from yourself and your loved ones, or just a bit adrift in the chaos of daily life, know that you’re not alone. Feeling lost is a common human experience that often promotes growth and self-discovery, says Wilson.

Finding yourself isn’t about having all the answers right away; it’s about taking small steps toward understanding who you are and what really matters to you. Here’s how to get started.

At a GlanceFeeling lost can be a miserable place to be. Not knowing who we are or what we want out of life can be confusing, frustrating, and kind of depressing.Fortunately, there are steps we can take to find our way back to ourselves. By spending some time on our own and practicing self-reflection, exploring our interests, and building authentic relationships—with healthy boundaries of course, we can gradually reconnect with who we truly are.

At a Glance

Feeling lost can be a miserable place to be. Not knowing who we are or what we want out of life can be confusing, frustrating, and kind of depressing.Fortunately, there are steps we can take to find our way back to ourselves. By spending some time on our own and practicing self-reflection, exploring our interests, and building authentic relationships—with healthy boundaries of course, we can gradually reconnect with who we truly are.

Feeling lost can be a miserable place to be. Not knowing who we are or what we want out of life can be confusing, frustrating, and kind of depressing.

Fortunately, there are steps we can take to find our way back to ourselves. By spending some time on our own and practicing self-reflection, exploring our interests, and building authentic relationships—with healthy boundaries of course, we can gradually reconnect with who we truly are.

Being lostis an uncomfortable and unhappy place to be.

In fact, it can often feel similar to a depressive episode, with feelings of sadness, confusion, hopelessness, and purposelessness, saysEmily Mashburn, LMHC, a therapist at ADHDAdvisor.

It can also have us anxious and on edge, because we feel like we’re lacking direction or meaning in our lives, and the future is uncertain, Mashburn adds.

Finding ourselves and having a strong sense of who we are—our values, passions, strengths, and even our weaknesses—is not just self-indulgent, it’s important for our mental health. In fact, research shows us that having a strong sense of positiveidentityis linked to better well-being.

Having a sense of purpose is crucial for overall well-being and mental health. It gives us direction, motivation, and meaning in life.—KRISTIN WILSON, MA, LPC, CCTP, RYT

Having a sense of purpose is crucial for overall well-being and mental health. It gives us direction, motivation, and meaning in life.

—KRISTIN WILSON, MA, LPC, CCTP, RYT

We asked the experts for some advice on what to do when you’re feeling lost. These are some strategies that can help you understand yourself better and find your purpose in life.

Practice Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is a powerful tool for understanding who you are, what you value, and what you want out of life. Here’s how you can use it to discover more about yourself:

It can be helpful to set aside a little quiet time each day to reflect on your life. If you like, you can write your thoughts down in a journal. Research shows us that reflective journaling helpsimprove our self-knowledge and self-awareness,making it a useful tool while we’re trying to find ourselves.

Explore Your Interests

Exploring your interests can help you figure out what genuinely excites and motivates you. Here’s how you can use this approach:

‘What Is the Point of Life?': Why You Might Feel This Way

Build Authentic Relationships

Whilefake friendssometimes lead us astray, authentic relationships can add depth and meaning to our lives. Genuinely supportive relationships give us a sense of connectedness and belonging that can help combat the feeling of being lost. Connecting with people who share our values can reinforce our sense of purpose and provide emotional and motivational support, Wilson adds.

In fact, research shows us thatsocial isolationhas a negative impact on our mental and physical health; whereas, social connectedness improves our well-being.

Here’s how you can foster more authentic relationships in your life:

Authentic relationships create a different type of purpose for us, as they allow us to explore ourselves in various social settings. This may help us learn something new about ourselves or embrace aspects of ourselves we may have otherwise ignored.—EMILY MASHBURN, LMHC

—EMILY MASHBURN, LMHC

5 Things to Do If You Feel a Loss of Interest

Embrace Solitude

Embracing solitudeis important for personal reflection and self-discovery, says Wilson. Spending some timealonecan help us reconnect with ourselves, helping us reclaim our sense of purpose and direction. In solitude, we can quiet the noise, listen to our true feelings, and align with what genuinely matters to us.

Here’s how you can embrace solitude and use it to find yourself:

If you want to find your way, you can’t always do what’s fashionable or socially acceptable. This is your life, not your family’s or your boss’s. You need to figure out who you are.—AIMEE DARAMUS, PSYD

If you want to find your way, you can’t always do what’s fashionable or socially acceptable. This is your life, not your family’s or your boss’s. You need to figure out who you are.

—AIMEE DARAMUS, PSYD

Set Boundaries

Our boundaries are our personal limits and they help us stay true to who we are.

Here’s how you canset boundariesto protect yourself:

How to Set Boundaries With Friends—and Why It’s Necessary

Seek Personal Growth

Seeking personal growth can be a key pathway to finding yourself. Here are some steps you can take:

Committing to self-improvement can enhance your skills, broaden your perspectives, and help you progress toward a more purposeful and satisfying life.—KRISTIN WILSON, MA, LPC, CCTP, RYT

Committing to self-improvement can enhance your skills, broaden your perspectives, and help you progress toward a more purposeful and satisfying life.

Takeaways

It’s okay to feel lost sometimes—these moments can be catalysts for deeper self-discovery and growth. Finding ourselves is a journey, not a destination. It’s a process of self-discovery that requires patience,self-compassion, and a willingness to explore the world that’s inside and outside of us. Take it one step at a time, and trust that with every small effort, you’re moving closer to the person you’re meant to be.

If you need support during this process, you can reach out to a mental healthcare provider, such as a therapist or counselor, who can offer guidance and help you find the path that’s right for you.

The Best Online Therapy ProgramsWe’ve tried, tested and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain.

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Schwartz SJ, Hardy SA, Zamboanga BL, Meca A, Waterman AS, Picariello S, Luyckx K, Crocetti E, Kim SY, Brittian AS, Roberts SE, Whitbourne SK, Ritchie RA, Brown EJ, Forthun LF.Identity in young adulthood: Links with mental health and risky behavior.J Appl Dev Psychol. 2015 Jan-Feb;36:39-52. doi:10.1016/j.appdev.2014.10.001Murillo-Llorente MT, Navarro-Martínez O, Valle VI, Pérez-Bermejo M.Using the reflective journal to improve practical skills integrating affective and self-critical aspects in impoverished international environments: A pilot test.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021 Aug 23;18(16):8876. doi:10.3390/ijerph18168876Martino J, Pegg J, Frates EP.The connection prescription: Using the power of social interactions and the deep desire for connectedness to empower health and wellness.Am J Lifestyle Med. 2015 Oct 7;11(6):466-475. doi:10.1177/1559827615608788

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Schwartz SJ, Hardy SA, Zamboanga BL, Meca A, Waterman AS, Picariello S, Luyckx K, Crocetti E, Kim SY, Brittian AS, Roberts SE, Whitbourne SK, Ritchie RA, Brown EJ, Forthun LF.Identity in young adulthood: Links with mental health and risky behavior.J Appl Dev Psychol. 2015 Jan-Feb;36:39-52. doi:10.1016/j.appdev.2014.10.001Murillo-Llorente MT, Navarro-Martínez O, Valle VI, Pérez-Bermejo M.Using the reflective journal to improve practical skills integrating affective and self-critical aspects in impoverished international environments: A pilot test.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021 Aug 23;18(16):8876. doi:10.3390/ijerph18168876Martino J, Pegg J, Frates EP.The connection prescription: Using the power of social interactions and the deep desire for connectedness to empower health and wellness.Am J Lifestyle Med. 2015 Oct 7;11(6):466-475. doi:10.1177/1559827615608788

Schwartz SJ, Hardy SA, Zamboanga BL, Meca A, Waterman AS, Picariello S, Luyckx K, Crocetti E, Kim SY, Brittian AS, Roberts SE, Whitbourne SK, Ritchie RA, Brown EJ, Forthun LF.Identity in young adulthood: Links with mental health and risky behavior.J Appl Dev Psychol. 2015 Jan-Feb;36:39-52. doi:10.1016/j.appdev.2014.10.001Murillo-Llorente MT, Navarro-Martínez O, Valle VI, Pérez-Bermejo M.Using the reflective journal to improve practical skills integrating affective and self-critical aspects in impoverished international environments: A pilot test.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021 Aug 23;18(16):8876. doi:10.3390/ijerph18168876Martino J, Pegg J, Frates EP.The connection prescription: Using the power of social interactions and the deep desire for connectedness to empower health and wellness.Am J Lifestyle Med. 2015 Oct 7;11(6):466-475. doi:10.1177/1559827615608788

Murillo-Llorente MT, Navarro-Martínez O, Valle VI, Pérez-Bermejo M.Using the reflective journal to improve practical skills integrating affective and self-critical aspects in impoverished international environments: A pilot test.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021 Aug 23;18(16):8876. doi:10.3390/ijerph18168876

Martino J, Pegg J, Frates EP.The connection prescription: Using the power of social interactions and the deep desire for connectedness to empower health and wellness.Am J Lifestyle Med. 2015 Oct 7;11(6):466-475. doi:10.1177/1559827615608788

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At a Glance#

Practice Self-Reflection#

Explore Your Interests#

Build Authentic Relationships#

Embrace Solitude#

Set Boundaries#

Seek Personal Growth#

Takeaways#