'I'm a Bad Person': Why You Might Feel This Way

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsDefining “Bad Person"Signs of a Deeper IssueWhy You May Feel This WayHow to Get HelpSteps to Feeling Better

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Defining “Bad Person”

Signs of a Deeper Issue

Why You May Feel This Way

How to Get Help

Steps to Feeling Better

Close

Many people experience regret, even whenmaking everyday decisions.Making mistakes is part of life, but sometimes these regrets can leave you wondering if you are a bad person.

The good news is that examining your actions often means that you care about treating other people in positive ways. It also indicates that you have the self-reflection, insight, and awareness to make a change if you aren’t satisfied with who you are or who you’ve been in the past.

However, for some people, wondering, “Am I a bad person?” isn’t a fleeting thought or existential question—in some cases, it can be a sign of a mental health condition such as depression. This makes it important to be aware of the symptoms to watch for so you can seek help.

Here we share what you should do if you find yourself thinking, “I’m a bad person.” We also provide some signs that suggest you might have a deeper issue, along withactions you can take to get over your regretsand start to feel better again.

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What Does “Bad Person” Mean?

There is no single, simple definition for what it means to be a “bad person.” One person might define it as someone who engages inharmful or destructive behaviors. Another person might define a bad person as an individual who doesn’t care about others, regardless of the type of actions they engage in.

The definition of a “bad person” is highly subjective and often dependent on factors such as your values, belief systems, and religious background.

The Dark Factor of Personality

According to some researchers, there is a certain pattern of traits that make up what is referred to as the “dark factor of personality” or D-factor. People who exhibit these characteristics often engage in actions that are harmful to others and include traits such as:

These traits are all focused on pursuing one’s interest at the cost of other people’s happiness, health, and well-being. People with these traits often do whatever it takes to fulfill their desires and wants, even at the expense of others.

Again, feeling like a bad person may be due to regret over something small that you did or didn’t do. But it can also be an indicator that something bigger may be going on, causing you to consider how you treat others. Here are a few signs that you might need to evaluate your actions further.

Lack of an Apology or Remorse

When we feel angry, our natural tendency is to respond aggressively.This can cause us to lash out, act thoughtlessly, or say things in the heat of the moment, leading the other person to feel hurt or experienceemotional pain. How you respond afterward can say a lot about who you are as a person.

If you have feelings of remorse when you hurt someone and canapologize for the pain you have caused, it indicates that you care about the feelings of the people around you. It also means that you are willing to reflect on your actions and make amends when needed.

Conversely, if you are not willing to do these things or struggle to admit that you’ve harmed others, it may be a sign of a deeper issue.

Self-Centered Behaviors

There is nothing wrong with putting your own needs and interests first at times.Taking care of yourselfis crucial as neglecting your personal needs can lead to unhappiness and poor well-being.

That said, if you’re always thinking about yourself and your own needs, never considering the feelings or welfare of others, it may indicate an issue that needs to be addressed. Self-centeredness can be particularly damaging if you neglect the needs of the people you are closest to, such as your partner, children, other family members, and friends.

Empathy is an important ability that helps you understand others and share their pain. A lack of empathy can signify a need for change in how you treat others.

Manipulation, Exploitation, and Dishonesty

Putting other people down and engaging in gaslighting is a form of manipulation and exploitation. People who engage in exploitive ormanipulative behaviorstypically have no problem lying to get what they want.

Ifyou lie regularly, it may indicate that you need to evaluate your behavior and make a change. While almost everyone tells little white lies from time to time,it can signal a more serious issue when lie-telling is chronic, pervasive, and does not lead to feelings of remorse or regret.

RecapCertain patterns of behavior can be harmful and destructive, including self-centeredness, dishonesty, manipulation, and exploitation.

Recap

Certain patterns of behavior can be harmful and destructive, including self-centeredness, dishonesty, manipulation, and exploitation.

Why You May Feel Like a Bad Person

If you sometimes feel like a bad person, it can be helpful to consider some of the factors that might be contributing to these feelings. Possible influences might include your personality, experiences, and mental health.

Personality

Certainpersonality traitscan affect how you feel about yourself. For example, neuroticism is one of the core dimensions of personality. People with high levels of this trait tend to feel negatively about themselves, others, and the world in general.

Individuals with a D-factor personality also often have traits that can make them feel like a bad person. Traits that research has associated with this personality type include narcissism, spitefulness, egoism, psychopathy, and sadism.

People with high levels of D-factor personality traits tend to have a disregard for the well-being of others.

Experiences

Our upbringing and life experiences also play an important role in how we perceive our own actions. Our earliest experiences in life involve watching our caregivers and other adults. Their behaviors and the value systems they raised us with serve as a model for how we feel and act today.

Other experiences and influences also play a role. Peers, social pressures, culture, media influences, and our individual experiences shape how we relate to other people in our life.Adverse experiencescan contribute to an overall negative outlook, ultimately impacting how we engage with others.

Talking to a mental health professional can help you process your experiences, examine how they influence your behavior today, and develop new skills to engage with others in a healthier, more meaningful way.

How to Know When It’s Time to See a Therapist

Mental Health Conditions

Some mental health conditions can lead to problems with empathy, relationships, behaviors, and self-perceptions. They include:

Feeling like a bad person may also be an indicator of depression or anxiety.Symptoms of depressioninclude feelings of guilt and lack of self-worth. In some cases, people with this condition feel fundamentally bad or that the world would be better off without them.

If this is how you feel, talk to your healthcare provider or a mental health professional about what you are experiencing. These experts can assess your symptoms, make a diagnosis, and recommend treatments to help relieve your symptoms.

RecapIf you have one of thesemental health conditions, getting a diagnosis is an important first step. With a diagnosis, a treatment plan can be created, which may include medications and psychotherapy to change negative or unhealthy thought patterns and social interactions.

If you have one of thesemental health conditions, getting a diagnosis is an important first step. With a diagnosis, a treatment plan can be created, which may include medications and psychotherapy to change negative or unhealthy thought patterns and social interactions.

How to Get Help If You Feel Like a Bad Person

This type of professional can evaluate your symptoms and help determine if there may be an underlying problem, such as a personality disorder, which may be contributing to behaviors that make you feel bad about yourself and your interactions with others.

As mental health professionals, our job is to look for a comprehensive diagnosis. Feeling like you are a bad person may be the symptom of some deeper underlying mental health issue. Getting to the root of that in an empathetic and nonjudgmental way can not only improve the patient’s life, but help improve dynamics within their inner circles as well.—DR. SASHA HAMDANI, MD, PSYCHIATRIST

As mental health professionals, our job is to look for a comprehensive diagnosis. Feeling like you are a bad person may be the symptom of some deeper underlying mental health issue. Getting to the root of that in an empathetic and nonjudgmental way can not only improve the patient’s life, but help improve dynamics within their inner circles as well.

—DR. SASHA HAMDANI, MD, PSYCHIATRIST

Additional Steps You Can Take to Feel Better

Feeling like you are a bad person can be distressing. In addition to talking to a mental health professional, there are steps that you can take to begin to feel better about who you are and how you relate to others.

It is important to know that labeling yourself and others can have negative consequences. Additionally, if you believe that these self-labeled qualities are innate and unchangeable, it can limit your ability and motivation to make positive changes in your life.

Even if you have moments where you feel negatively about yourself, avoid labeling yourself as a “bad person.” Everyone makes mistakes, has bad days, and has things they’d like to change. Show yourself compassion.

A Word From Verywell

Feeling like a bad person often indicates that you are capable of empathy, self-awareness, and remorse. If you’ve done things that you regret or that make you feel like a bad person, there are steps that you can take to change your behaviors, make amends, and improve how you feel about yourself.

Engaging in behaviors that exploit or disregard others is harmful and needs to be addressed. If you suspect that your actions are harming your relationships, talking to a therapist is a good place to start.

If you or a loved one are struggling with depression, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are struggling with depression, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

11 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Bjälkebring P, Västfjäll D, Svenson O, Slovic P.Regulation of experienced and anticipated regret in daily decision making.Emotion. 2016;16(3):381-386. doi:10.1037/a0039861Sagiv L, Schwartz SH.Personal values across cultures.Ann Rev Psychol. 2022;73:517-546. doi:10.1146/annurev-psych-020821-125100Moshagen M, Hilbig BE, Zettler I.The dark core of personality.Psycholog Rev. 2018;125(5):656-688. doi:10.1037/rev0000111American Psychological Association.Control anger before it controls you.Butler LD, Mercer KA, McClain-Meeder K, Horne DM, Dudley M.Six domains of self-care: Attending to the whole person.J Human Behav Soc Environ. 2019;29(1):107-124. doi:10.1080/10911359.2018.1482483University of Wisconsin.How often do people lie?Borghuis J, Bleidorn W, Sijtsma K, et al.Longitudinal associations between trait neuroticism and negative daily experiences in adolescence.J Personal Soc Psychol. 2020;118(2):348-363. doi:10.1037/pspp0000233Tiwari S, Moshagen M, Hilbig BE, Zettler I.The dark factor of personality and risk-taking.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(16):8400. doi:10.3390/ijerph18168400Lawton RN, Gramatki I, Watt W, Fujiwara D.Does volunteering make us happier, or are happier people more likely to volunteer? Addressing the problem of reverse causality when estimating the well-being impacts of volunteering.J Happiness Stud. 2021;22(2):599-624. doi:10.1007/s10902-020-00242-8Akhtar S, Dolan A, Barlow J.Understanding the relationship between state forgiveness and psychological well-being: a qualitative study.J Relig Health. 2017;56(2):450–463. doi:10.1007/s10943-016-0188-9Yeager DS, Johnson R, Spitzer BJ, Trzesniewski KH, Powers J, Dweck CS.The far-reaching effects of believing people can change: Implicit theories of personality shape stress, health, and achievement during adolescence.J Personal Soc Psychol. 2014;106(6):867-884. doi:10.1037/a0036335

11 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Bjälkebring P, Västfjäll D, Svenson O, Slovic P.Regulation of experienced and anticipated regret in daily decision making.Emotion. 2016;16(3):381-386. doi:10.1037/a0039861Sagiv L, Schwartz SH.Personal values across cultures.Ann Rev Psychol. 2022;73:517-546. doi:10.1146/annurev-psych-020821-125100Moshagen M, Hilbig BE, Zettler I.The dark core of personality.Psycholog Rev. 2018;125(5):656-688. doi:10.1037/rev0000111American Psychological Association.Control anger before it controls you.Butler LD, Mercer KA, McClain-Meeder K, Horne DM, Dudley M.Six domains of self-care: Attending to the whole person.J Human Behav Soc Environ. 2019;29(1):107-124. doi:10.1080/10911359.2018.1482483University of Wisconsin.How often do people lie?Borghuis J, Bleidorn W, Sijtsma K, et al.Longitudinal associations between trait neuroticism and negative daily experiences in adolescence.J Personal Soc Psychol. 2020;118(2):348-363. doi:10.1037/pspp0000233Tiwari S, Moshagen M, Hilbig BE, Zettler I.The dark factor of personality and risk-taking.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(16):8400. doi:10.3390/ijerph18168400Lawton RN, Gramatki I, Watt W, Fujiwara D.Does volunteering make us happier, or are happier people more likely to volunteer? Addressing the problem of reverse causality when estimating the well-being impacts of volunteering.J Happiness Stud. 2021;22(2):599-624. doi:10.1007/s10902-020-00242-8Akhtar S, Dolan A, Barlow J.Understanding the relationship between state forgiveness and psychological well-being: a qualitative study.J Relig Health. 2017;56(2):450–463. doi:10.1007/s10943-016-0188-9Yeager DS, Johnson R, Spitzer BJ, Trzesniewski KH, Powers J, Dweck CS.The far-reaching effects of believing people can change: Implicit theories of personality shape stress, health, and achievement during adolescence.J Personal Soc Psychol. 2014;106(6):867-884. doi:10.1037/a0036335

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Bjälkebring P, Västfjäll D, Svenson O, Slovic P.Regulation of experienced and anticipated regret in daily decision making.Emotion. 2016;16(3):381-386. doi:10.1037/a0039861Sagiv L, Schwartz SH.Personal values across cultures.Ann Rev Psychol. 2022;73:517-546. doi:10.1146/annurev-psych-020821-125100Moshagen M, Hilbig BE, Zettler I.The dark core of personality.Psycholog Rev. 2018;125(5):656-688. doi:10.1037/rev0000111American Psychological Association.Control anger before it controls you.Butler LD, Mercer KA, McClain-Meeder K, Horne DM, Dudley M.Six domains of self-care: Attending to the whole person.J Human Behav Soc Environ. 2019;29(1):107-124. doi:10.1080/10911359.2018.1482483University of Wisconsin.How often do people lie?Borghuis J, Bleidorn W, Sijtsma K, et al.Longitudinal associations between trait neuroticism and negative daily experiences in adolescence.J Personal Soc Psychol. 2020;118(2):348-363. doi:10.1037/pspp0000233Tiwari S, Moshagen M, Hilbig BE, Zettler I.The dark factor of personality and risk-taking.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(16):8400. doi:10.3390/ijerph18168400Lawton RN, Gramatki I, Watt W, Fujiwara D.Does volunteering make us happier, or are happier people more likely to volunteer? Addressing the problem of reverse causality when estimating the well-being impacts of volunteering.J Happiness Stud. 2021;22(2):599-624. doi:10.1007/s10902-020-00242-8Akhtar S, Dolan A, Barlow J.Understanding the relationship between state forgiveness and psychological well-being: a qualitative study.J Relig Health. 2017;56(2):450–463. doi:10.1007/s10943-016-0188-9Yeager DS, Johnson R, Spitzer BJ, Trzesniewski KH, Powers J, Dweck CS.The far-reaching effects of believing people can change: Implicit theories of personality shape stress, health, and achievement during adolescence.J Personal Soc Psychol. 2014;106(6):867-884. doi:10.1037/a0036335

Bjälkebring P, Västfjäll D, Svenson O, Slovic P.Regulation of experienced and anticipated regret in daily decision making.Emotion. 2016;16(3):381-386. doi:10.1037/a0039861

Sagiv L, Schwartz SH.Personal values across cultures.Ann Rev Psychol. 2022;73:517-546. doi:10.1146/annurev-psych-020821-125100

Moshagen M, Hilbig BE, Zettler I.The dark core of personality.Psycholog Rev. 2018;125(5):656-688. doi:10.1037/rev0000111

American Psychological Association.Control anger before it controls you.

Butler LD, Mercer KA, McClain-Meeder K, Horne DM, Dudley M.Six domains of self-care: Attending to the whole person.J Human Behav Soc Environ. 2019;29(1):107-124. doi:10.1080/10911359.2018.1482483

University of Wisconsin.How often do people lie?

Borghuis J, Bleidorn W, Sijtsma K, et al.Longitudinal associations between trait neuroticism and negative daily experiences in adolescence.J Personal Soc Psychol. 2020;118(2):348-363. doi:10.1037/pspp0000233

Tiwari S, Moshagen M, Hilbig BE, Zettler I.The dark factor of personality and risk-taking.Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(16):8400. doi:10.3390/ijerph18168400

Lawton RN, Gramatki I, Watt W, Fujiwara D.Does volunteering make us happier, or are happier people more likely to volunteer? Addressing the problem of reverse causality when estimating the well-being impacts of volunteering.J Happiness Stud. 2021;22(2):599-624. doi:10.1007/s10902-020-00242-8

Akhtar S, Dolan A, Barlow J.Understanding the relationship between state forgiveness and psychological well-being: a qualitative study.J Relig Health. 2017;56(2):450–463. doi:10.1007/s10943-016-0188-9

Yeager DS, Johnson R, Spitzer BJ, Trzesniewski KH, Powers J, Dweck CS.The far-reaching effects of believing people can change: Implicit theories of personality shape stress, health, and achievement during adolescence.J Personal Soc Psychol. 2014;106(6):867-884. doi:10.1037/a0036335

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