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Some people are fortunate to have loving, supportive relationships with their siblings that can sometimes be far deeper than friendships. However, others may not be on the best terms with their siblings.

If you’ve ever thought, “I hate my sister,” you’re not alone. Occasional feelings of anger and hate can be present even in the closest of sibling relationships. It is also common for siblings to fight, which can lead to rivalry and hatred over time.

Learn some reasons why you might hate your sister as well as some coping strategies that may be helpful.

Hatred for a sibling can set in at any age, in childhood oradulthood. It can intensify over time or dissipate as the years pass. Many adult siblings find it difficult to get along and cannot spend time together without arguing or fighting with each other. Some siblings are even estranged from each other or theirfamilies, due to sibling rivalries.

Reasons Why You Might Think “I Hate My Sister”

These are some reasons why you might hate your sister:

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Coping Strategies If You Hate Your Sister

Hate is an intense feeling that can be emotionally draining. In addition, you may also experience other emotions such asguiltand shame, for hating your sister instead of loving her or forgiving her.

These are some strategies that can help you cope with the emotions you’re experiencing, enabling you to better deal with a sister that you don’t like.

Prioritize Safety

“If you can identify a specific way in which your sister hasharmed you, it’s best to get as much distance from her as your circumstances allow, at least temporarily, so you can think your situation through. If there’s still a safety risk, put your safety above everything else,” says Daramus.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Understand Parental Behavior

Seek Therapy

Aimee Daramus, PsyDIf you hate your sister and can’t really understand why, or if you think that your own issues are the problem, definitelytry to get therapy.

Aimee Daramus, PsyD

If you hate your sister and can’t really understand why, or if you think that your own issues are the problem, definitelytry to get therapy.

“You might have some irrational anger to work through, or you might be projecting something onto them," says Daramus. “Either way,hateis often irrational and leads to decisions that make things worse.”

Therapycan be a helpful way to understand why you hate your sister and how you can deal with your feelings.

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Get Help Now

We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Avoid Competing

Avoid competing with your sister and try to accept yourself the way you are. Start seeing yourself as an individual entity who is working hard, not someone who doesn’t earn as much as their sister.

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Set Boundaries

It can be helpful to setboundarieswith your sister, to protect yourself—especially if your relationship tends to be toxic.

Atoxic relationshipis one in which your well-being is threatened physically or psychologically. Signs of a toxic sister relationship include feeling manipulated, blamed, or disrespected, or if your sister harms you physically.

These boundaries can take different shapes and forms, depending on what you’re comfortable with. For instance, you may feel that discussing certain topics are off-limits, or you may not want to spend time with your sister outside of family gatherings.

Find the Support and Acceptance You Need

Even if you’re not close to your sister, you can findsupportin other areas. Daramus recommends surrounding yourself with people who care about you and support you. This could include your parents, partner, children, friends, other family members, colleagues, support groups, or other people in your life.

Apart from people, you may even find acceptance and a sense of belonging in spirituality, art, music, books, and movies.

A Word From Verywell

Sibling relationshipsare often turbulent, and in some cases they can lead to rivalry and hatred. While it’s okay to not like your sister, Daramus notes that hating someone is a painful way to live and recommends seeking therapy, spiritual guidance, and the company of those who care about you and support you.

How to Have Healthy Family Relationships With Less Stress

SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital.Sibling rivalry.Nemours Children’s Health.Sibling rivalry.

Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital.Sibling rivalry.Nemours Children’s Health.Sibling rivalry.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital.Sibling rivalry.Nemours Children’s Health.Sibling rivalry.

C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital.Sibling rivalry.

Nemours Children’s Health.Sibling rivalry.

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