‘I Hate My Life': What to Do and How to Cope

Table of ContentsView AllTable of Contents‘I Hate My Life’: Why You Might Feel This WayThe Mental and Physical Impact of Feeling This WayHow to Cope If You Hate Your LifeWhen to Seek Help

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

‘I Hate My Life’: Why You Might Feel This Way

The Mental and Physical Impact of Feeling This Way

How to Cope If You Hate Your Life

When to Seek Help

“Ugh, I hate my life!” We sometimes use this as a hyperbolic way to express frustration. We’re overworked and overtired, and nothing seems to be going our way. We might not literally mean that we hate our lives, but there might be some aspect of it we’re genuinely dissatisfied at the moment.

If you feel like you hate your life, you’re not alone. Everyone feels angry, frustrated, and dissatisfied at certain points in life, saysSabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University.

At a GlanceFeeling like you hate your life is often a temporary state, but it can also be a sign of a more serious problem. You might be frustrated with your job, finances, or relationships, but it might also be a sign of depression. To deal with the problem, it’s important to get to the bottom of what’s causing it. Making changes in your life to address the issue may help, but you may also want to reach out to a mental health professional.

At a Glance

Feeling like you hate your life is often a temporary state, but it can also be a sign of a more serious problem. You might be frustrated with your job, finances, or relationships, but it might also be a sign of depression. To deal with the problem, it’s important to get to the bottom of what’s causing it. Making changes in your life to address the issue may help, but you may also want to reach out to a mental health professional.

What causes this feeling is unique to each person. According to Dr. Romanoff, this feeling could come from different areas of your life, which could include:

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyDUsually, there is a specific area that causes frustration and that ripples into the way you view other aspects of your life.

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD

Usually, there is a specific area that causes frustration and that ripples into the way you view other aspects of your life.

Another example is afamily conflict. If you’re having a disagreement with someone in your family, such as your parents, siblings, spouse, or in-laws, it can lead to an overall sense of frustration with your life.

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If you feel like you hate your life, it’s important to channel this feeling into a productive emotion or experience and use it as motivation to take action and make a change, according to Dr. Romanoff.

“If you remain inactive it could spark feelings ofhelplessnessandhopelessness. You may start to feel depressed if you believe you are stuck and there is nothing you can do to change the negative aspects of your life,” says Dr. Romanoff.

That feeling of hopelessness can cause you to have negative perceptions of your ability to create change and find happiness in the different domains of your life, including in yourrelationships, work, family, and even in the way you complete small daily tasks, Dr. Romanoff explains.

In addition to your mental health, being dissatisfied with your life can take a toll on your physical health as well. One study found that long-term life dissatisfaction is associated with poorer health-related quality of life.

It’s important to take steps to feel better and make changes. In the short-term, feeling dissatisfied with your life can affect your mood and ability to enjoy your life. Over time, the stress and unhappiness you feel can start to affect your relationships, ability to function, and even your health.

Dr. Romanoff suggests some tips to help you cope if you feel like you hate your life:

Reflect on the Important Aspects of Your Life

It can be helpful to reflect on whether you are satisfied in the most important aspects of your life such as: your career and your purpose in life, your relationships and your capacity to love others, yourself-worthand acceptance of yourself, and the enjoyment you experience through your body via health and movement.

Identify Your Triggers

If you are dissatisfied, it’s important to introspect and make the necessary changes. Pay attention to the moments when you are most dissatisfied in your life. Use them as a compass to understand what is gettingtriggeredin you. Be reflective and try to identify themes in what sparks this feeling.

Start Making Changes

Use moments of dissatisfaction as lessons. Try to understand ways you can grow or make changes based on these situations. These feelings might require you to do something brave, such ascutting off a relationshipor a situation that is no longer serving you, advocating for your needs to be met, or making some other change.

It can be incredibly satisfying to make these changes for yourself.

Don’t Let Paralysis Keep You Trapped

On the other hand, if you are paralyzed with fear and do not make changes in these situations, it might only reinforce the feelings of resignation and hopelessness in your life. The key is to be more present in your life and make small changes for the better in each moment, instead of feeling powerless and as if you must make do with your circumstances.

Remember That You’re in Control

Remember, ultimately you’re in control of your life. If there is something you don’t like, it’s up to you to change it. You can’t wait for others to meet your needs. You must rely on yourself to give yourself what you need.

Break Patterns of Learned Helplessness

Often, many people feel like they must make do with their circumstances. This is usually a repetition of an earlier dynamic in their life in which they werehelplessand could not escape an intolerable situation. As adults, people find this feeling of helplessness familiar and don’t use all their skills and capabilities to advocate for themselves.

It’s important to recognize these patterns and not allow yourself to be trapped in a situation that is no longer serving you.

If you are unable to cope with your circumstances and continue feeling like you hate your life, it may be helpful to see amental healthcare provider. They can help you explore the source of your feelings, put things into perspective, develop healthier coping skills, and make the necessary changes in your life.

It is particularly important to talk to a doctor or therapist if you are also experiencing other symptoms, such as fatigue,loss of interest,irritability, and feelings of worthlessness.

Your mental health care provider can evaluate your symptoms, provide a diagnosis if relevant, and recommend treatments that can help. They may suggest therapies likecognitive behavior therapy(CBT) oracceptance and commitment therapy(ACT), medications, or both.

Press Play for Advice On Creating Your Best Life

Takeaways

Feeling like you hate your life is tough. Because you have to spend so much of your time and energy managing these feelings, you might find yourself struggling to function in your daily life. It’s important to recognize the source of this feeling and start working toward rectifying it so that you can start tofeel happierwith your life.

How to Set SMART Goals

3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Hong J.The areas of life dissatisfaction and their relationships to depression at different life stages: findings from a nationally representative survey.Psychol Health Med. 2019;24(3):305-319. doi:10.1080/13548506.2018.1537496Saharinen T, Koivumaa-Honkanen H, Hintikka J, et al.The effect of long-term life dissatisfaction on health-related quality of life among general population subjects.J Psychiatr Ment Health Nurs. 2014;21(8):755-763. doi:10.1111/jpm.12060Christensen MC, Wong CMJ, Baune BT.Symptoms of major depressive disorder and their impact on psychosocial functioning in the different phases of the disease: Do the perspectives of patients and healthcare providers differ?Front Psychiatry. 2020;11:280. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00280

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Hong J.The areas of life dissatisfaction and their relationships to depression at different life stages: findings from a nationally representative survey.Psychol Health Med. 2019;24(3):305-319. doi:10.1080/13548506.2018.1537496Saharinen T, Koivumaa-Honkanen H, Hintikka J, et al.The effect of long-term life dissatisfaction on health-related quality of life among general population subjects.J Psychiatr Ment Health Nurs. 2014;21(8):755-763. doi:10.1111/jpm.12060Christensen MC, Wong CMJ, Baune BT.Symptoms of major depressive disorder and their impact on psychosocial functioning in the different phases of the disease: Do the perspectives of patients and healthcare providers differ?Front Psychiatry. 2020;11:280. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00280

Hong J.The areas of life dissatisfaction and their relationships to depression at different life stages: findings from a nationally representative survey.Psychol Health Med. 2019;24(3):305-319. doi:10.1080/13548506.2018.1537496Saharinen T, Koivumaa-Honkanen H, Hintikka J, et al.The effect of long-term life dissatisfaction on health-related quality of life among general population subjects.J Psychiatr Ment Health Nurs. 2014;21(8):755-763. doi:10.1111/jpm.12060Christensen MC, Wong CMJ, Baune BT.Symptoms of major depressive disorder and their impact on psychosocial functioning in the different phases of the disease: Do the perspectives of patients and healthcare providers differ?Front Psychiatry. 2020;11:280. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00280

Saharinen T, Koivumaa-Honkanen H, Hintikka J, et al.The effect of long-term life dissatisfaction on health-related quality of life among general population subjects.J Psychiatr Ment Health Nurs. 2014;21(8):755-763. doi:10.1111/jpm.12060

Christensen MC, Wong CMJ, Baune BT.Symptoms of major depressive disorder and their impact on psychosocial functioning in the different phases of the disease: Do the perspectives of patients and healthcare providers differ?Front Psychiatry. 2020;11:280. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00280

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At a Glance#

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD#

Reflect on the Important Aspects of Your Life#

Identify Your Triggers#

Start Making Changes#

Don’t Let Paralysis Keep You Trapped#

Remember That You’re in Control#

Break Patterns of Learned Helplessness#

Press Play for Advice On Creating Your Best Life#

Takeaways#