'I Don't Need Friends': Why You Might Feel This Way

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy You Feel This WayCommonality of Few FriendsContributing FactorsBenefits of FriendsIs It OK to Not Have Friends?Why You Might Feel LonelyIf You Decide to Seek Out Friends

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Why You Feel This Way

Commonality of Few Friends

Contributing Factors

Benefits of Friends

Is It OK to Not Have Friends?

Why You Might Feel Lonely

If You Decide to Seek Out Friends

Close

There are many reasons you might say, “I don’t need friends.” Or you may simply wonder, “Why don’t I have friends?” One explanation is that you might feel that friendship doesn’t offer a lot of value in your life. Another is that you could already have plenty ofsocial supportfrom your family, so you don’t need a wide circle of friends or acquaintances.

Whatever your reasons, it can be helpful to learn why you might feel you don’t need friends (or don’t have friends), to understand how common this is, and to know some of the benefits of making friends. We also share things you can do if you decide to add more friendships to your life.

Reasons You Feel Like You Don’t Need Friends

If you feel like you don’t have friends in your life, there are a few different reasons why you might feel this way. They include:

One major reason people might have few friendships is that many turn to their partner or other family members instead. Surveys suggest that people tend to rely on friends as their primary source of support less than they did in the past. For example, in 1990, 26% of adults said they would turn to a close friend first with a personal problem; yet, in 2021, only 16% said they would talk to a friend before anyone else.

Recap

How Common Is It to Have No Friends?

How many people ask, “Why don’t I have friends?” While you might feel alone in your solitude, having little to no friends is actually a common occurrence.

According to the 2021 American Perspectives Survey, 49% of adults said they had three or fewer close friends, with this breakdown generationally:

Why Don’t I Have Friends?

Why do many younger people report having few or no friends? While the exact reasons are not entirely clear, increased internet andsocial media usemight play a major role.

Research has found that people who use social media more frequently tend to experience higher levels ofdepression and loneliness.

The COVID-19 pandemic has also played a role in changing the state of friendship for many adults in the U.S. Among young women, nearly 60% reported losing touch with a few friends during the pandemic, while 16% reported losing contact with most or all of their friends.

Polls also suggest that young men may struggle with social connections. Twenty-eight percent of men under the age of 30 have no close personal connections.

While recent challenges have caused some people to lose touch with old friends, surveys have also found that nearly 50% of adults have made at least one new friend in the past year.

RecapSurvey suggest that having few or no friends is not uncommon. Millennials are most likely to report having no friends, and those numbers may be growing as a result of social media, internet use, and world events.

Survey suggest that having few or no friends is not uncommon. Millennials are most likely to report having no friends, and those numbers may be growing as a result of social media, internet use, and world events.

How to Cope With Friends Moving Away

Benefits of Having Friends

Even if you think, “I don’t need friends,” research suggests that having a healthy support system is important for your mental well-being.

Reduced Stress and Anxiety

Even if you think you don’t need them,having a social circleto support you can be important for your mental health and well-being. Research has found that having a social support system is associated with less stress and anxiety.

Less Loneliness

Friendship is also linked toless loneliness. Loneliness has been shown to take a serious toll on health and mortality. Studies have found that people who have quality friendships are better able to cope with stress and are even less likely to experience stress in the first place.

Better Emotional Support

Friends can also offer emotional support when you need it. Friends can helpvalidate your emotions, listen to your problems, and do things to help you feel better.

Increased Resilience

One study found that people who had strong friendships weremore resilient.Being resilient means being better equipped to deal with challenges and bounce back more quickly in the face of life’s difficulties.

A Feeling of Belonging

Having friends can help you feel as if youbelong to somethingthat brings purpose and connection to your life.

Improved Physical Health

Having strong friendships can also help to improve your physical health. Friends might increase the chances of you doing daily tasks such as exercise and eating well.

RecapIt is important to be aware that friendships can be an important part of your social support system. Social support offers a number of benefits including preventing loneliness, increasing connectedness, and improving physical and mental health.

It is important to be aware that friendships can be an important part of your social support system. Social support offers a number of benefits including preventing loneliness, increasing connectedness, and improving physical and mental health.

Whether your lack of friends is detrimental to your well-being really depends on your perspective and how you feel about it. In other words, there’s a big difference between thinking “I don’t need friends” and “I don’t have friends.”

Research has also found that spending time alone can actually be important for improving existing relationships. Some research has found that among people who are highly intelligent, more time spent with friends decreases satisfaction levels.So, doing things on your own may make you more satisfied and happier about the relationships you have with the others in your life.

RecapThe effects of not having friends depend on your perspective. If you are happy and still have social support, you are likely fine with your social situation. If you feel lonely or isolated, however, it may be time to think about expanding your social circle.

The effects of not having friends depend on your perspective. If you are happy and still have social support, you are likely fine with your social situation. If you feel lonely or isolated, however, it may be time to think about expanding your social circle.

Loneliness is the feeling of being alone or lacking company. You don’t have to be physically alone in order to feel lonely, either—you might feel this way even when you are around other people.

It is a natural emotion that’s practically inevitable at some point throughout your life. So ifyou find yourself feeling lonely, even if you feel like you don’t need friends, there are ways that you can cope with such difficult emotions.

While might feel like you don’t need friends to be happy, it is important to have people you can trust and can turn to when you need support. People are social creatures and tend to thrive when they have high-quality connections with other people.

If you are interested in expanding your social circle andmaking a few friends, there are things that you can do to meet people you share things in common with:

Remember that making friends as an adult is often much more difficult than it was when you were a child. It may take time, effort, and being willing to put yourself out there. And once you make connections with people, it is important to continue to nurture andmaintain those interpersonal relationships.

Takeaways

While friendship can have benefits, you might feel like you don’t need friends. The effect that has on your life and health depends largely on how you feel about the situation. If you are isolated and long for social connections, your loneliness will likely have a negative impact on your well-being.

Everyone needs some social contact and people who they can turn to for support. You might get this from your partner or from members of your family, which means that you might feel less of a need to seek out friends. This is often fine, but be sure to check in with yourself periodically to see if you might need to reevaluate your needs.

It is also important to make sure that you aren’t placing an undue burden on one or two people in your life who might not be able to meet your social needs all on their own. Having people to lean on, whether they are friends, family, co-workers, or other social connections, can play a part insupporting your emotional health.

11 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cox DA.The state of American friendship: Change, challenges, and loss. Survey Center on American Life.Olson A.Poll: Millions in US struggle through life with few to trust.AP News.Yao MZ, Zhong Z jin.Loneliness, social contacts and internet addiction: A cross-lagged panel study.Comp Human Behav. 2014;30:164-170. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2013.08.007Hunt MG, Marx R, Lipson C, Young J.No more FOMO: limiting social media decreases loneliness and depression.J Soc Clin Psychol. 2018;37(10):751-768. doi:10.1521/jscp.2018.37.10.751Cox DA, Streeter R, Abrams SJ, Clemence J.Socially distant: How our divided social networks explain our politics. Survey Center on American Life.Bowen KS, Uchino BN, Birmingham W, Carlisle M, Smith TW, Light KC.The stress-buffering effects of functional social support on ambulatory blood pressure.Health Psychol. 2014;33(11):1440–1443. doi:10.1037/hea0000005Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-zvan Harmelen A-L, Kievit RA, Ioannidis K, et al.Adolescent friendships predict later resilient functioning across psychosocial domains in a healthy community cohort.Psycholog Med. 2017;47(13):2312-2322. doi:10.1017/S0033291717000836Bowker JC, Stotsky MT, Etkin RG.How BIS/BAS and psycho-behavioral variables distinguish between social withdrawal subtypes during emerging adulthood.Personal Individ Diff. 2017;119:283-288. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.043Marion SB, Thorley C.A meta-analytic review of collaborative inhibition and postcollaborative memory: Testing the predictions of the retrieval strategy disruption hypothesis.Psycholog Bull. 2016;142(11):1141-1164.doi:10.1037/bul0000071Li NP, Kanazawa S.Country roads, take me home… to my friends: How intelligence, population density, and friendship affect modern happiness.Br J Psychol. 2016;107(4):675-697. doi:10.1111/bjop.12181

11 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cox DA.The state of American friendship: Change, challenges, and loss. Survey Center on American Life.Olson A.Poll: Millions in US struggle through life with few to trust.AP News.Yao MZ, Zhong Z jin.Loneliness, social contacts and internet addiction: A cross-lagged panel study.Comp Human Behav. 2014;30:164-170. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2013.08.007Hunt MG, Marx R, Lipson C, Young J.No more FOMO: limiting social media decreases loneliness and depression.J Soc Clin Psychol. 2018;37(10):751-768. doi:10.1521/jscp.2018.37.10.751Cox DA, Streeter R, Abrams SJ, Clemence J.Socially distant: How our divided social networks explain our politics. Survey Center on American Life.Bowen KS, Uchino BN, Birmingham W, Carlisle M, Smith TW, Light KC.The stress-buffering effects of functional social support on ambulatory blood pressure.Health Psychol. 2014;33(11):1440–1443. doi:10.1037/hea0000005Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-zvan Harmelen A-L, Kievit RA, Ioannidis K, et al.Adolescent friendships predict later resilient functioning across psychosocial domains in a healthy community cohort.Psycholog Med. 2017;47(13):2312-2322. doi:10.1017/S0033291717000836Bowker JC, Stotsky MT, Etkin RG.How BIS/BAS and psycho-behavioral variables distinguish between social withdrawal subtypes during emerging adulthood.Personal Individ Diff. 2017;119:283-288. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.043Marion SB, Thorley C.A meta-analytic review of collaborative inhibition and postcollaborative memory: Testing the predictions of the retrieval strategy disruption hypothesis.Psycholog Bull. 2016;142(11):1141-1164.doi:10.1037/bul0000071Li NP, Kanazawa S.Country roads, take me home… to my friends: How intelligence, population density, and friendship affect modern happiness.Br J Psychol. 2016;107(4):675-697. doi:10.1111/bjop.12181

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Cox DA.The state of American friendship: Change, challenges, and loss. Survey Center on American Life.Olson A.Poll: Millions in US struggle through life with few to trust.AP News.Yao MZ, Zhong Z jin.Loneliness, social contacts and internet addiction: A cross-lagged panel study.Comp Human Behav. 2014;30:164-170. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2013.08.007Hunt MG, Marx R, Lipson C, Young J.No more FOMO: limiting social media decreases loneliness and depression.J Soc Clin Psychol. 2018;37(10):751-768. doi:10.1521/jscp.2018.37.10.751Cox DA, Streeter R, Abrams SJ, Clemence J.Socially distant: How our divided social networks explain our politics. Survey Center on American Life.Bowen KS, Uchino BN, Birmingham W, Carlisle M, Smith TW, Light KC.The stress-buffering effects of functional social support on ambulatory blood pressure.Health Psychol. 2014;33(11):1440–1443. doi:10.1037/hea0000005Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-zvan Harmelen A-L, Kievit RA, Ioannidis K, et al.Adolescent friendships predict later resilient functioning across psychosocial domains in a healthy community cohort.Psycholog Med. 2017;47(13):2312-2322. doi:10.1017/S0033291717000836Bowker JC, Stotsky MT, Etkin RG.How BIS/BAS and psycho-behavioral variables distinguish between social withdrawal subtypes during emerging adulthood.Personal Individ Diff. 2017;119:283-288. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.043Marion SB, Thorley C.A meta-analytic review of collaborative inhibition and postcollaborative memory: Testing the predictions of the retrieval strategy disruption hypothesis.Psycholog Bull. 2016;142(11):1141-1164.doi:10.1037/bul0000071Li NP, Kanazawa S.Country roads, take me home… to my friends: How intelligence, population density, and friendship affect modern happiness.Br J Psychol. 2016;107(4):675-697. doi:10.1111/bjop.12181

Cox DA.The state of American friendship: Change, challenges, and loss. Survey Center on American Life.

Olson A.Poll: Millions in US struggle through life with few to trust.AP News.

Yao MZ, Zhong Z jin.Loneliness, social contacts and internet addiction: A cross-lagged panel study.Comp Human Behav. 2014;30:164-170. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2013.08.007

Hunt MG, Marx R, Lipson C, Young J.No more FOMO: limiting social media decreases loneliness and depression.J Soc Clin Psychol. 2018;37(10):751-768. doi:10.1521/jscp.2018.37.10.751

Cox DA, Streeter R, Abrams SJ, Clemence J.Socially distant: How our divided social networks explain our politics. Survey Center on American Life.

Bowen KS, Uchino BN, Birmingham W, Carlisle M, Smith TW, Light KC.The stress-buffering effects of functional social support on ambulatory blood pressure.Health Psychol. 2014;33(11):1440–1443. doi:10.1037/hea0000005

Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-z

van Harmelen A-L, Kievit RA, Ioannidis K, et al.Adolescent friendships predict later resilient functioning across psychosocial domains in a healthy community cohort.Psycholog Med. 2017;47(13):2312-2322. doi:10.1017/S0033291717000836

Bowker JC, Stotsky MT, Etkin RG.How BIS/BAS and psycho-behavioral variables distinguish between social withdrawal subtypes during emerging adulthood.Personal Individ Diff. 2017;119:283-288. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.043

Marion SB, Thorley C.A meta-analytic review of collaborative inhibition and postcollaborative memory: Testing the predictions of the retrieval strategy disruption hypothesis.Psycholog Bull. 2016;142(11):1141-1164.doi:10.1037/bul0000071

Li NP, Kanazawa S.Country roads, take me home… to my friends: How intelligence, population density, and friendship affect modern happiness.Br J Psychol. 2016;107(4):675-697. doi:10.1111/bjop.12181

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