Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat Does Hyper-Independence Look Like?What Causes a Trauma Response?The Mind and Body’s Response to TraumaHyper-Independence as a Trauma ResponseTreatment OptionsFinal Thoughts

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

What Does Hyper-Independence Look Like?

What Causes a Trauma Response?

The Mind and Body’s Response to Trauma

Hyper-Independence as a Trauma Response

Treatment Options

Final Thoughts

Close

Independence refers to beingself-sufficientor taking care of yourself. It is often necessary to function independently as an adult, such as making and keeping your appointments, completing assignments for work, or maintaining a healthy and safe living environment.

However, like any trait, independence can be dangerous when taken to an extreme. Everyone encounters challenges they cannot tackle on their own, and everyone has needs they cannot meet without support.

Hyper-independence refers to individual attempts to be fully independent in all things, even when it is not helpful or when they genuinely need help or support from others.

When someone’s need to be independent goes to an unhealthy extreme, this is hyper-independence. An individual who is hyper-independent will avoidasking for helpor support even when this is detrimental. Hyper-independence can be atraumaresponse.

Signs of Hyper-Independence

Although hyper-independence can manifest differently depending on the individual, signs of hyper-independence can include:

Betrayal Trauma—The Impact of Being Betrayed

When a person experiences a disturbing, distressing, or life-threatening event that they are unable to cope with in a healthy way, this event is considered traumatic. Traumatic events can be single experiences, like a car accident or natural disaster, or they can be chronic and ongoing, like neglect or abuse.

Some chronic, stressful experiences in childhood that can cause trauma symptoms later in life are calledadverse childhood experiences(ACEs). ACEs are linked to physical illness, depression, anxiety, and even early death in adulthood.

Other Reasons for Trauma Responses

When someone experiences something traumatic, the brain automatically activates the body’s defense mechanism, also known as the survival response.

This built-in defense mechanism means that the body chooses behaviors based on what will keep it safest at the moment. Because our brains are wired to keep us safe and alive, we tend to hold onto survival mode long after the traumatic event has passed if we do not process it, even if it is no longer adaptive or helpful to do so.

In fact, we are so good at surviving traumatic events that our genetic expression can change in response to trauma, passing the trauma response down to our offspring throughintergenerational trauma.

Unfortunately, although this can help survive the trauma, a trauma response is often harmful outside of the context of the traumatic event. Hyper-independence is one trauma response that can bemaladaptive.

What Is the Fight-or-Flight Response?

Why Is Hyper-Independence a Trauma Response?

Hyper-independence can develop in response to trauma for various reasons. Not everyone who experiences a trauma will have the same trauma responses. In fact, some people begin to believe that they are incapable of independence as a result of their trauma.

Feeling Undeserving of Social Support

Trauma survivors who experience hyper-independence may believe that they do not deserve support or help from other people. They might have been told that needing help or receiving support is unacceptable, so they become hyper-independent to avoid having that need.

Past Neglect

Some people’s trauma includes going through periods when their needs were not met, so they can develop hyper-independent tendencies to survive. Theneglectthey experienced taught them that they could only rely on themselves. They might believe that others cannot or will not help them, so there is no point in seeking help or support from others.

Mistrust of Others

Coping Mechanism

Sometimes, hyper-independence can be a way ofcoping with uncertainty. Many trauma survivors experience aloss of controlas part of their trauma, and hyper-independence might be a way that they seek to regain a sense of control over their environment.

Treatment for Hyper-Independence

Hyper-independence is an extreme form of independence that can lead to personal and relational issues. The hyper-independent person can run into trouble when they are unable to meet a need without help and feel unable to seek support. They also often struggle with interpersonal relationships due to their mistrust of others.

A person experiencing hyper-independence can work on healthy relationships, trust, and honoring their own limitations in therapy. Because hyper-independence is a trauma response, trauma-informed care is an important component of this treatment.

What Is Trauma-Informed Therapy?

Examples of Healing Work

The work for everyone is different because the reasons that led to hyper-independence were different.

Letting go of perfectionismExploring your identity outside of doing things for othersUnderstanding the cost of not asking for helpRealizing that there is help available now as adults, even if it wasn’t as childrenNormalizing asking for help and not seeing it as a sign of weaknessDoing an inventory of what it is costing you to not ask for helpLearning how to delegate

Coping With Hyper-Independence

An important thing to remember about any trauma response is that it is a way to survive and cope in a stressful and unfair situation. While hyper-independence can cause problems, it likely helped you survive a traumatic situation if you developed this response. You can acknowledge how this response helped you at the time while working to let go of behavior that no longer serves you.

Remember that moving past a trauma response takes time and can involve small steps forward as well as periods of regression. Be gentle with yourself, and leave space for difficult times.

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cronholm PF, Forke CM, Wade R, et al.Adverse childhood experiences: Expanding the concept of adversity.American Journal of Preventive Medicine. 2015;49(3):354-361. doi:10.1016/j.amepre.2015.02.001Burdick LS, Corr C.Helping teachers understand and mitigate trauma in their classrooms.TEACHING Exceptional Children. doi:10.1177/00400599211061870Ryan J, Chaudieu I, Ancelin ML, Saffery R.Biological underpinnings of trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder: Focusing on genetics and epigenetics.Epigenomics. 2016;8(11):1553-1569. doi:10.2217/epi-2016-0083Perrotta G.Affective dependence: from pathological affectivity to personality disorders: definitions, clinical contexts, neurobiological profiles and clinical treatments.Health Sci. 2021;2(2021).

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Cronholm PF, Forke CM, Wade R, et al.Adverse childhood experiences: Expanding the concept of adversity.American Journal of Preventive Medicine. 2015;49(3):354-361. doi:10.1016/j.amepre.2015.02.001Burdick LS, Corr C.Helping teachers understand and mitigate trauma in their classrooms.TEACHING Exceptional Children. doi:10.1177/00400599211061870Ryan J, Chaudieu I, Ancelin ML, Saffery R.Biological underpinnings of trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder: Focusing on genetics and epigenetics.Epigenomics. 2016;8(11):1553-1569. doi:10.2217/epi-2016-0083Perrotta G.Affective dependence: from pathological affectivity to personality disorders: definitions, clinical contexts, neurobiological profiles and clinical treatments.Health Sci. 2021;2(2021).

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Cronholm PF, Forke CM, Wade R, et al.Adverse childhood experiences: Expanding the concept of adversity.American Journal of Preventive Medicine. 2015;49(3):354-361. doi:10.1016/j.amepre.2015.02.001Burdick LS, Corr C.Helping teachers understand and mitigate trauma in their classrooms.TEACHING Exceptional Children. doi:10.1177/00400599211061870Ryan J, Chaudieu I, Ancelin ML, Saffery R.Biological underpinnings of trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder: Focusing on genetics and epigenetics.Epigenomics. 2016;8(11):1553-1569. doi:10.2217/epi-2016-0083Perrotta G.Affective dependence: from pathological affectivity to personality disorders: definitions, clinical contexts, neurobiological profiles and clinical treatments.Health Sci. 2021;2(2021).

Cronholm PF, Forke CM, Wade R, et al.Adverse childhood experiences: Expanding the concept of adversity.American Journal of Preventive Medicine. 2015;49(3):354-361. doi:10.1016/j.amepre.2015.02.001

Burdick LS, Corr C.Helping teachers understand and mitigate trauma in their classrooms.TEACHING Exceptional Children. doi:10.1177/00400599211061870

Ryan J, Chaudieu I, Ancelin ML, Saffery R.Biological underpinnings of trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder: Focusing on genetics and epigenetics.Epigenomics. 2016;8(11):1553-1569. doi:10.2217/epi-2016-0083

Perrotta G.Affective dependence: from pathological affectivity to personality disorders: definitions, clinical contexts, neurobiological profiles and clinical treatments.Health Sci. 2021;2(2021).

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