Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsBenefits of Teaching Kids GratitudeSaying Thank YouAsk Gratitude QuestionsPerform Acts of KindnessModel GratitudeFamily Gratitude ProjectEstablish a Gratitude RitualLook for the Silver Lining

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Benefits of Teaching Kids Gratitude

Saying Thank You

Ask Gratitude Questions

Perform Acts of Kindness

Model Gratitude

Family Gratitude Project

Establish a Gratitude Ritual

Look for the Silver Lining

Close

Teaching kids to say thank you is an important social skill that many parents stress, but helping them understand how to be truly grateful is a bit trickier. In a time when many middle school kids carry around $600 phones that they take for granted, teaching gratitude can feel like an uphill battle.

Despite the challenges you might face in helping kids feel grateful in a world that seems to value overabundance, it can be worthwhile.

At a GlanceTeaching children gratitude can help them feel happier, support better social relationships, and improve overall health and well-being. Strategies that can help foster gratitude in kids include asking gratitude-focused questions, performing acts of kindness, and modeling gratitude in your own life. Let’s explore how kids can benefit from gratitude and some strategies that help kids learn to be more grateful.

At a Glance

Teaching children gratitude can help them feel happier, support better social relationships, and improve overall health and well-being. Strategies that can help foster gratitude in kids include asking gratitude-focused questions, performing acts of kindness, and modeling gratitude in your own life. Let’s explore how kids can benefit from gratitude and some strategies that help kids learn to be more grateful.

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The Benefits of Teaching Kids Gratitude

Gratitude can have many benefits for adults, but research has shown how it can also help kids in various ways.

Grateful Kids Are Happier

One older study found that grateful children (ages 11 to 13) are happier, more optimistic, and have better social support.They also report more satisfaction with their schools, families, communities, friends, and themselves. Grateful kids also tend to give more social support to others as well.

How Gratitude Makes You Happier

Grateful Teens Have Higher Life Satisfaction

According to a study published inPsychological Assessment, grateful teens (ages 14 to 19) are more satisfied with their lives, use their strengths to improve their communities, are more engaged in their schoolwork and hobbies, and have better grades.They’ve also been shown to be less envious, depressed, and materialistic than their less grateful counterparts.

Grateful Kids Are Healthier

It’s true that much of the gratitude research focuses on adults, but the benefits of gratitude are numerous for everyone. A study published inClinical Psychology Reviewlinked gratitude to everything from improvedpsychological well-beingto better physical health.Grateful people tend to sleep better and even live longer.

Grateful Kids May Turn Into Grateful Adults

A 2018 study published in theJournal of Positive Psychology foundthat grateful adults are happier and more hopeful.Gratitude better-predicted hope and happiness than other constructs, like forgiveness, patience, and even self-control.

Additionally, the study found that people who were grateful for things that happened to them in the past felt happier in the present and more hopeful about their future. Perhaps giving your kids a childhood they feel grateful about now will help them reflect more on reasons to be grateful as adults.

So clearly, many good reasons exist to help kids experience and express gratitude. Here are a few strategies that can help your kids feel more grateful.

Teach Your Child to Say Thank You

Encourage your child to say “Thank you” regularly. Offer gentle reminders like, “Your brother let you go first. What should you say to him?” or “What do you say to Grandma for giving you a cookie?”

While it may seem like forcing a “thank you” doesn’t stir up any real gratitude, consider it a first step in the process. It can help kids start to recognize when others have given them something, whether tangible (like a gift) or intangible (like time).

So even if it doesn’t seem like genuine appreciation when your child needs a reminder, encouraging them to verbally express appreciation can be an important learning tool for genuine gratitude down the line.

You can also encourage your kids to write “thank you” notes to people who give them gifts or show them kindness. Your child might color a picture for a grandparent who purchased a birthday gift for them. Or you might encourage your teen to write a “thank you” letter to a special coach who has made an impact on their lives.

Make sure to point out times when your child shows gratitude without a prompt from you. Positive attention will reinforce the importance of showing gratitude.

Want to Relieve Stress ASAP? Write in a Gratitude Journal

Once your child remembers to say “thank you” on a regular basis, it can be time to dig a little deeper to ensure that they aren’t just going through the socially prescribed motions of saying “Thank you.”

TheRaising Grateful Children Project at UNC Chapel Hillhas revealed that gratitude has four key parts:

The researchers found that most parents focused on what children do to show gratitude. While 85% of parents said they prompted their kids to say “thank you,” only 39% encouraged children to show gratitude in a way that went beyond good manners. In addition, only a third of parents asked their kids how a gift made them feel, and only 22% asked why they thought someone had given them a gift.

Researchers from UNC encourage parents to ask kids questions to help foster a deeper sense of gratitude. Here are some questions that can help kids experience all four gratitude components:

Whenever your child receives a physical gift or someone shows kindness to them, strike up a conversation that helps them experience more gratitude. You also might start conversations that show how you both think, feel, and respond to the people and gifts you’re grateful for in your life.

There are many things your child can do to show appreciation for other people. This might involve returning a favor, like loaning a toy to a friend who is kind. Or it could involve an act of service like doing yard work for a relative who attends their basketball games.

Make it clear that there are many ways to show people that you’re grateful for all they do.

You might even decide to take on a family project, like writing thank you letters to the first responders in your community after a natural disaster. Make it clear that you don’t need to reserve gratitude for those individuals that you know personally—there are many people in the community whom you might feel grateful for as well.

Here are several ways you can model gratitude for your children:

Researchers have found that when parents engage in more daily socialization acts designed to target gratitude, children display higher levels of gratitude as well.

Create a Family Gratitude Project

A family project can be a good way to get everyone involved in expressing gratitude. Finding a way to collect and share things that each person in the family is grateful for can be a great inspiration for family discussions.

Gratitude Board

It can be a great conversation piece as well. You might talk about certain things someone feels grateful for, or you might talk about how fast the board fills up because you have so many good things going on in life.

Gratitude Jar

You could also create a gratitude jar that everyone contributes to.Keep a jar in an easily accessible place, like the kitchen, and keep some slips of paper handy. Encourage everyone to write down something they’re grateful for (maybe once a day) and put it in the jar.

Then, you can read over the slips of paper together as a family—maybe once a week or once a month. It can be a great way to honor all the good things happening in everyone’s lives.

No matter what type of family project you start, make it something that gets everyone thinking and talking more about gratitude. Listening to the things everyone else is grateful for can encourage even more gratitude in the family.

Make it a habit to regularly express gratitude in your family. Here are some examples of rituals you might establish:

Although it might seem like gratitude should be spontaneous rather than rehearsed, making gratitude a habit can ensure that kids practice it on a regular basis, and it can become like second-nature.

Help your kids see that something good can come from difficult circumstances. If a soccer game gets rescheduled due to rain, talk about the bright side of the situation. Say something like, “Well at least we don’t have to be outside in the cold. We can play board games together instead and that will be fun.”

You might also point out how to be grateful for what you had, even when it’s no longer here. For example, you might say, “It’s really sad our fish died but I’m grateful we got to have him for six months.” Of course you don’t want to sound uncaring and callous but you can make it clear that you can be both grateful and sad at the same time while honoring a loss.

Ask questions that help your child discover the potential silver lining in a tough situation. Ask, “What’s something good that could come from something hard like this?”

In a really tough situation, asking that question too soon might seem insensitive (like 10 minutes after failing a test). So you might give it some time before encouraging your child to look on the bright side. But helping your child do this often, you’ll teach them to begin doing it on their own and they’ll start to see that they have a lot to be grateful for, even on their worst days.

Keep in Mind

Make gratitude a priority in your home. Not only will your child benefit, but the adults will likely get a much-needed boost in happiness and well-being also. Experiment with different strategies to help determine which gratitude practices help everyone best experience and express their grateful feelings.

Of course, there will be times when your kids seem to be ungrateful. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed in the gratitude department, however. It’s normal for kids to experience entitlement at times.

So turn these times into teachable moments. Work on new gratitude strategies and keep modeling how to be thankful, and you’ll likely see these moments of entitlement fade away.

10 Common Positive Emotions Beyond Happiness

8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Nguyen SP, Gordon CL.The relationship between gratitude and happiness in young children.J Happiness Stud. 2020;21(8):2773-2787. doi:10.1007/s10902-019-00188-6Froh JJ, Sefick WJ, Emmons RA.Counting blessings in early adolescents: An experimental study of gratitude and subjective well-being.Journal of School Psychology. 2008;46(2):213-233. doi:10.1016/j.jsp.2007.03.005Youssef A-JS, Froh JJ, Muller ME, Lomas T.Measuring gratitude in youth: Assessing the psychometric properties of adult gratitude scales in children and adolescents.Psychological Assessment. 2011;23(2):311-324. doi:10.1037/e711892011-001Wood AM, Froh JJ, Geraghty AW.Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration.Clinical Psychology Review. 2010;30(7):890-905. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.005Witvliet CV, Richie FJ, Luna LMR, Tongeren DRV.Gratitude predicts hope and happiness: A two-study assessment of traits and states.The Journal of Positive Psychology. 2016;14(3):271-282. doi:10.1080/17439760.2018.1424924Greater Good Magazine.What parents neglect to teach about gratitude.Rothenberg WA, Hussong AM, Langley HA, et al.Grateful parents raising grateful children: Niche selection and the socialization of child gratitude.Applied Developmental Science. 2016;21(2):106-120. doi:10.1080/10888691.2016.1175945Hussong AM, Langley HA, Rothenberg WA, et al.Raising grateful children one day at a time.Applied Developmental Science. 2019;23(4):371-384. doi:10.1080/10888691.2018.1441713

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Nguyen SP, Gordon CL.The relationship between gratitude and happiness in young children.J Happiness Stud. 2020;21(8):2773-2787. doi:10.1007/s10902-019-00188-6Froh JJ, Sefick WJ, Emmons RA.Counting blessings in early adolescents: An experimental study of gratitude and subjective well-being.Journal of School Psychology. 2008;46(2):213-233. doi:10.1016/j.jsp.2007.03.005Youssef A-JS, Froh JJ, Muller ME, Lomas T.Measuring gratitude in youth: Assessing the psychometric properties of adult gratitude scales in children and adolescents.Psychological Assessment. 2011;23(2):311-324. doi:10.1037/e711892011-001Wood AM, Froh JJ, Geraghty AW.Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration.Clinical Psychology Review. 2010;30(7):890-905. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.005Witvliet CV, Richie FJ, Luna LMR, Tongeren DRV.Gratitude predicts hope and happiness: A two-study assessment of traits and states.The Journal of Positive Psychology. 2016;14(3):271-282. doi:10.1080/17439760.2018.1424924Greater Good Magazine.What parents neglect to teach about gratitude.Rothenberg WA, Hussong AM, Langley HA, et al.Grateful parents raising grateful children: Niche selection and the socialization of child gratitude.Applied Developmental Science. 2016;21(2):106-120. doi:10.1080/10888691.2016.1175945Hussong AM, Langley HA, Rothenberg WA, et al.Raising grateful children one day at a time.Applied Developmental Science. 2019;23(4):371-384. doi:10.1080/10888691.2018.1441713

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Nguyen SP, Gordon CL.The relationship between gratitude and happiness in young children.J Happiness Stud. 2020;21(8):2773-2787. doi:10.1007/s10902-019-00188-6Froh JJ, Sefick WJ, Emmons RA.Counting blessings in early adolescents: An experimental study of gratitude and subjective well-being.Journal of School Psychology. 2008;46(2):213-233. doi:10.1016/j.jsp.2007.03.005Youssef A-JS, Froh JJ, Muller ME, Lomas T.Measuring gratitude in youth: Assessing the psychometric properties of adult gratitude scales in children and adolescents.Psychological Assessment. 2011;23(2):311-324. doi:10.1037/e711892011-001Wood AM, Froh JJ, Geraghty AW.Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration.Clinical Psychology Review. 2010;30(7):890-905. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.005Witvliet CV, Richie FJ, Luna LMR, Tongeren DRV.Gratitude predicts hope and happiness: A two-study assessment of traits and states.The Journal of Positive Psychology. 2016;14(3):271-282. doi:10.1080/17439760.2018.1424924Greater Good Magazine.What parents neglect to teach about gratitude.Rothenberg WA, Hussong AM, Langley HA, et al.Grateful parents raising grateful children: Niche selection and the socialization of child gratitude.Applied Developmental Science. 2016;21(2):106-120. doi:10.1080/10888691.2016.1175945Hussong AM, Langley HA, Rothenberg WA, et al.Raising grateful children one day at a time.Applied Developmental Science. 2019;23(4):371-384. doi:10.1080/10888691.2018.1441713

Nguyen SP, Gordon CL.The relationship between gratitude and happiness in young children.J Happiness Stud. 2020;21(8):2773-2787. doi:10.1007/s10902-019-00188-6

Froh JJ, Sefick WJ, Emmons RA.Counting blessings in early adolescents: An experimental study of gratitude and subjective well-being.Journal of School Psychology. 2008;46(2):213-233. doi:10.1016/j.jsp.2007.03.005

Youssef A-JS, Froh JJ, Muller ME, Lomas T.Measuring gratitude in youth: Assessing the psychometric properties of adult gratitude scales in children and adolescents.Psychological Assessment. 2011;23(2):311-324. doi:10.1037/e711892011-001

Wood AM, Froh JJ, Geraghty AW.Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration.Clinical Psychology Review. 2010;30(7):890-905. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.005

Witvliet CV, Richie FJ, Luna LMR, Tongeren DRV.Gratitude predicts hope and happiness: A two-study assessment of traits and states.The Journal of Positive Psychology. 2016;14(3):271-282. doi:10.1080/17439760.2018.1424924

Greater Good Magazine.What parents neglect to teach about gratitude.

Rothenberg WA, Hussong AM, Langley HA, et al.Grateful parents raising grateful children: Niche selection and the socialization of child gratitude.Applied Developmental Science. 2016;21(2):106-120. doi:10.1080/10888691.2016.1175945

Hussong AM, Langley HA, Rothenberg WA, et al.Raising grateful children one day at a time.Applied Developmental Science. 2019;23(4):371-384. doi:10.1080/10888691.2018.1441713

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