Even the best relationships, conflict is inevitable, and it’s no surprise that money ranks as one of thetop issuescausing stress and division between partners. How to earn money, how to spend it, how to save it, where to keep it, who gets it, and what it means day-to-day are all aspects that couples must address and re-address over time.
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.Learn more
Couples Therapy OnlineStrengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Couples Therapy Online
Strengthen your relationship through couples therapy you can participate in together or apart, at your convenience.
Learn more
Are You a Spender or Saver?
Even before you kick off this money-focused heart-to-heart, it’s crucial that you take a moment to reflect on your own habits, thoughts, andgoals when it comes to money. Most likely, you fall into one of two camps: spenders or savers. Not sure where you land most of the time? Picture this scenario: your company decides to kick in an extra $100 bonus as a thank you for last quarter’s performance. Do you automatically hit “place order” on your Amazon account or do you stash away the majority in the ol’ piggy bank?
Now consider how you’ve reacted to individual financial scenarios over the course of the last year. Watch for trends to determine if you’re more likely to save or spend and enter your money conversation with that understanding. You could also try thisquick quiz.
Stick to the Financial Facts
Hint: When approaching any discussion, it’s best to avoidfighting wordslike: “whatever,” “always/never” “you’re just like…” “you’re too sensitive…” Most of the time, they’re emotion-driven generalizations and not accurate.
Be sure to also lean on free tools that credit cards offer on their websites. Many will analyze your statement to help you understand your spending habits across key areas like housing, food and entertainment. Other sites likeMint.comwill help you set budgets and track your spending to help ward off future difficult conversations.
Set Mutual Financial Goals
Money is a very divisive topic(put that in the same category as religion and politics), so it’s important to identify shared goals that can ground your conversation. We all have different wants and needs, but as a couple, you likely have some sort of shared vision: a new home, expanding your family, or minimizing debt.
Discuss your concerns about your financial situation through the lens of your top two or three financial goals to put things in perspective. Once you agree to make different your choices, dive into the nitty gritty about how to get there. Always shoot for settingSMART goals(specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound) to guide your future decisions and to best track your progress. By aligning your shared visions, you’ll be more apt to come up with steps that both of you can agree on and follow in the long run.
Difficult conversationscan be daunting — especially if you don’t like conflict — but addressing concerns with your partner about money and your shared financial future will pave the way to a stronger, more resilient relationship.
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