In today’s fast-paced and sometimes chaotic world, it is normal for worries to consume our minds. People often expend energy worrying about external factors they cannot control.
For many, these worries become particularly burdensome when they revolve around things beyond our control. Whether we worry about the future, feel anxious about global events, or fixate on personal circumstances, the weight of uncontrollable worries can feel overwhelming.
This is especially true for people with conditions such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). GAD is a commonanxiety disorderthat causes people to worry excessively about various things like health, relationships, money, and global events.
When does worrying become a problem? It is when worries start controlling our actions and feelings, making it hard for us to function normally.
While it is normal to think about the future, it is essential to distinguish between normal worries (a natural response) and excessive anxiety (a hindrance).
It is important to realize that we cannot control everything we worry about. Recognizing the inherent uncertainty of life marks the first step toward liberation from worry.
Below are 12 techniques which may help you to stop worrying about things that are not in your control:
1. Identify what is and isn’t in your control
Accept that some parts of life are beyond your power to change, no matter how much you may wish otherwise. Instead of resisting or denying this fact, accept situations for what they are without judgment or attachment.
Focusing your energy on controllable worries empowers you to feel in control over some aspects of life and direct your energy where it counts. This reduces feelings of helplessness or uncertainty, releasing you from trying to manipulate the uncontrollable.
Furthermore, develop a habit of practicing gratitude for what is within your control. Take time each day to appreciate your strengths, accomplishments, and the positive aspects of your life.
It may be helpful to break down your worrisome situation into smaller, more manageable components, which can help you gain a more realistic perspective on the issue and your ability to cope with it. This problem-solving activity can help shift your focus away from repetitive worries and towards more productive thoughts and actions.
Make a list of the parts of your life where you have agency and influence–where your actions and choices directly impact the outcome. These may include your attitudes and responses to circumstances. Express gratitude for your opportunities to make positive choices and initiate meaningful change in these areas.
Controllable / Uncontrollable List:
Try our worksheet for identifying Controllable Vs. Uncontrollable Worries below:
2. Schedule worry times
Establish dedicated “worry times” in your daily schedule. Set aside 10-15 minutes, preferably at the same time each day (e.g., after lunch or early evening), to reflect on your worries.
Create a “Worry Diary” for these sessions using a notebook or digital app to write down your concerns, thoughts, and feelings.
As you review your Worry Diary over time, identify recurring patterns or themes. Are there specific situations or patterns of thought that trigger your worries? This awareness empowers you to develop preventive strategies or seek additional support.
Alternatively, if you do not wish to keep a record of your worries, write them on paper and then eventually rip it up. The act of destroying the worry can be a strategy of ‘letting go.’
Throughout the day, whenever a worry pops into your head, try not to fixate on it. Briefly note the essence of the concern on your phone or on paper, and then revisit it during worry time. Include the situation that triggered the worry.
Once the allotted time is up, close your Worry Diary and move on, reminding yourself that you have addressed your anxieties for now. Consciously transition your focus away from worrying and redirect your energy towards engaging in activities that make you feel relaxed and/or happy.
Try our Worry Diary worksheet below:
3. Allow it–don’t suppress it
Julianne Schroeder, a licensed counselor, explains that anxiety is unavoidable. It is not helpful to try to eliminate all worries because we need a certain level of worry to keep us motivated. For example, you may use a manageable amount of anxiety to help propel you to finish a college project.
Licensed counselorAmanda Ruizsays the goal is not “to eliminate stress but to feel comfortable and confident and competent to face those stressors in a really healthy way.”
An instinctual response may be to suppress or ignore worry to try and regain control. However, pushing emotions down and denying their existence intensifies them in the long run.
According toironic process theory, attempts to suppress unwanted thoughts, including those regarding pain or distress, may paradoxically increase awareness and salience of the thoughts and feelings that an individual wants to avoid.
Instead, allow yourself to feel the anxiety/worry fully without resistance. This does not mean dwelling on it, but rather acknowledging the presence of these feelings without judgment.
When worry strikes, take a deep breath and say, “I am feeling anxious right now.” Labeling the emotion can help detach from it.
Notice any physical sensations or patterns of thought associated with worry without trying to push them away (e.g., racing heart, butterflies in your stomach).
As you practice allowing worries to surface and flow through you, their intensity will diminish over time.
Recognizing worry as a temporary experience takes away its power. The struggle comes from resistance, not the emotion itself.
PsychotherapistGreg Dorterexplains that “thoughts pop into our heads all the time, and usually, we don’t pay any special attention to them.
But certain thoughts tend to attract our attention. Instead of engaging them, just let them go, allowing them to pass out of your mind just like a cloud passing through the sky or a leaf floating down a stream.”
4. Praise your ability to handle the unexpected
Worry often stems from fear of the unknown. You may catastrophize future scenarios (a “what if . . . happens” style of thinking), assuming the worst and overlooking your resilience and adaptability when managing the unexpected.
Reflect on past experiences where you successfully managed unexpected events or adversities. Identify the skills, strengths, and coping mechanisms you used to overcome those challenges.
Perhaps you practiced self-compassion, sought support from loved ones, or actively problem-solved. Recognize these strengths as valuable tools you can rely on in the future.
Think back to a time you faced a situation that initially triggered worry or anxiety. Did the worst-case scenario actually happen? Focus on the ways you navigated the situation with strength and resourcefulness.
As you encounter new uncertainties, remind yourself of your past successes and gain confidence from the knowledge that you can cope with whatever life throws your way.
When worry arises, challenge the automatic negative narrative. Instead of thinking “I can’t handle this,” reframe it as “this might be difficult, but I have overcome challenges before, and I have the skills to navigate this too.”
Acknowledge and celebrate your victories, no matter how small. Did you take a deep breath and approach a problem logically? Recognizing your ability to manage these situations builds confidence and resilience.
5. Practice Uncertainty Tolerance
The desire for certainty can fuel anxiety.Researchduring the COVID-19 pandemic found that “intolerance of uncertaintyis a risk factor for anxiety.”
Instead of fearing the unknown, practice accepting that life is inherently unpredictable and develop a level of comfort with the unknown.
Reframe thoughts like, “I need to know exactly what will happen” as “I can handle whatever comes my way.”
Expose yourself to situations that make you feel slightly uncomfortable with the unknown. This could involve stepping outside of your comfort zone or trying new activities. For example, try a new restaurant without reading reviews first, or take a different route to work.
During these experiences, pay attention to your thoughts and emotions, and practice staying present with the discomfort of uncertainty without seeking resolution or certainty.
Here are some more tips:
6. Future-Cast, Don’t Future-Trip
Worry often stems from “future-tripping”–catastrophizing future scenarios.
While it is natural to acknowledge potential challenges, refrain from dwelling on worst-case scenarios and mentally rehearsing all the ways things could go wrong.
Future-casting means envisioning what you want the outcome of an uncertain situation to be in a constructive manner and then channeling your energy into strategizing to increase the likelihood of achieving this outcome.
How to future-cast:
Future-casting empowers you to take control of your future, replacing anxious speculation with concrete action planning.
While the term ‘future-casting’ itself is not often included in clinical research, it is acknowledged thatanxious individuals tend to engage in more negative future thinking,while positive future thinking can help reduce anxiety.
7. Reframe “What-Ifs” as “What-Thens”
For example, instead of “what if I lose my job?”, ask yourself “what would I do if that happened?” and “what skills could I leverage to find a new opportunity?”.
Focus on identifying actionable steps and contingency plans that you can implement to address potential challenges.
Once you have your “what-then” question, brainstorm potential solutions. This could involve updating your resume, networking with contacts, or exploring new skill-building courses.
The act of brainstorming solutions empowers you. Even though you cannot predict the future, having a plan for potential challenges helps you feel more in control.
Choose one (or a few) actionable steps you can take right now to move forward with your solutions. This could be contacting a former colleague or researching online training programs.
Practice this reframing technique regularly to train your mind to respond to worrisome thoughts with constructive action, rather than spiraling into anxiety.
This simple shift in perspective from helpless worry to proactive planning, empowers you to take control of the situation.
8. Cultivate curiosity
Cultivating curiosity about your worries can help you stop worrying about things you cannot control.
By approaching worries with a curious mindset, you can shift your perspective, promote self-awareness, facilitate problem-solving, reduce avoidance, and cultivate acceptance. This allows you to focus on what you can control while letting go of what you cannot, ultimately reducing the impact of worries on your well-being.
To implement curiosity and manage your worries more effectively, try the following tips:
By incorporating these tips into your daily life, you can develop a curious approach to your worries, helping you manage them more effectively and reduce their impact on your well-being.
Try our worksheet on Challenging Unhelpful Thoughts below:
9. Utilize Humor as a Coping Mechanism
Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, our body’s natural feel-good chemicals. This makes you relax and injects lightheartedness into challenging situations.
Researchhas consistently found that having a greater sense of humor is linked to lower anxiety and stress.Dionigi et al. (2021)concluded that “fun and humor were found to relate positively to psychological well-being and negatively with worry.”
Furthermore, during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, internet memes related to the pandemic served ascoping mechanismsfor people with severe symptoms of anxiety.
Everyday, look for sources of amusement that you can rely on, whether it is watching a funny movie, reading a humorous book, or watching stand-up comedy on Netflix.
In addition, surround yourself with people who make you laugh, have a lighthearted perspective, or share your sense of humor.
More tips:
It’s crucial to strike a balance between using humor to manage worries and addressing genuine emotions. Avoid using humor to mask or suppress feelings, as this can lead to unresolved emotional issues.
Check-in with yourself regularly, and if you find that you’re consistently using humor to avoid dealing with deeper concerns, allow yourself to experience your emotions and seek support when needed.
Remember, while humor is a great coping tool, it should be used in moderation alongside other techniques like mindfulness, problem-solving, and seeking help from trusted friends, family, or mental health professionals when necessary.
By finding the right balance, you can effectively manage your worries while maintaining emotional well-being.
10. Explore the Therapeutic Benefits of Nature
If you need a break from your worries, try giving yourself some time in nature. While the worry will probably still exist afterwards, being in nature could provide a much-needed respite from feeling stuck in your spiralling thoughts.
Incorporate regular nature walks or hikes into your routine, immersing yourself in the sights, sounds, and smells of the environment. Consider joining a walking or hiking group to meet other people.
Studies show that spending time immersed in nature offers a multitude of therapeutic benefits, including reduced anxiety and improved mood.
Areviewof 14 studies concluded that “outdoor therapeutic practices” can improve mental wellbeing.
Here are some tips:
11. Help Others in Need
Anumbrella reviewconcluded that volunteering has a positive effect on mental health, including “increased functioning,” “quality of life,” and “empowerment.”
Identify individuals or organizations in your community that could benefit from your assistance. This could involve volunteering at a local food bank or offering support to friends, family members, or neighbors facing challenges.
By helping others in need and actively contributing to positive change, you can increase feelings of empowerment and resilience within yourself, taking your mind off your own worries.
12. 5-Second Rule and Anchor Thought
Mel Robbins, motivational speaker and author of books including ‘The 5 Second Rule’ and ‘The High Five Habit’ suggests a technique for dealing with fear and uncertainty:
The 5-Second Rule and Anchor Thought Technique:
Using this technique helps you break the cycle of fear and shift your mindset towards a more positive and proactive outlook. Instead of feeling helpless, you feel empowered to take action and be part of the solution.
This technique allows you to acknowledge your concerns while focusing on what you can control and the positive impact you can make.
This allows you to assert control over your thoughts and actions, enabling you to move forward despite the fear.
13. Identify and Address Your Inner Voices
Our minds often contain different “parts” or subpersonalities that contribute to our worries. By identifying these inner voices, we can better understand and address our anxieties.
Common subpersonalities related to worry include:
To work with these subpersonalities:
By acknowledging and working with these different parts of yourself, you can develop a more balanced perspective on your worries and build resilience against anxiety about uncontrollable factors.
This approach helps you understand the root of your worries and provides a structured way to reframe your thoughts, aligning with the article’s overall goal of managing anxiety about things beyond your control.
Conclusion
Feeling worried at times is a natural part of being human. However, when it becomes excessive and interferes with your daily life, it is time to take action.
By incorporating the tips and techniques explored in this article, you can develop your own toolkit filled with strategies for preventing and managing uncontrollable anxieties. Thus, you can focus more of your energy on what truly matters and things within your control.
These strategies may be especially helpful for someone withgeneralized anxiety who is also seeking treatment.
From identifying what is and is not within your control to embracing the therapeutic benefits of nature immersion, each strategy offers an effective pathway to peace of mind.
Remember that you do not have to control every aspect of life to feel secure. By practicing techniques like embracing uncertainty, you can let go of what lies outside your control, and focus on creating a life filled with possibility and purpose. Trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way.
References
Akram, U., Irvine, K., Allen, S. F., et al. (2021). Internet memes related to the COVID-19 pandemic as a potential coping mechanism for anxiety.Scientific Reports, 11, 22305.https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-021-00857-8
Bourne, E. J. (2020).The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook. New Harbinger Publications.
Dionigi, A., Duradoni, M., & Vagnoli, L. (2021). Humor and anxiety: The relationship between the comic styles, worry and general well-being.Personality and Individual Differences, 181, 111028.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2021.111028
Ford, T. E., Lappi, S. K., O’Connor, E. C., & Banos, N. C. (2017). Manipulating humor styles: Engaging in self-enhancing humor reduces state anxiety.Humor, 30(2), 169–191.https://doi.org/10.1515/humor-2016-0113
Greg Dorter Counselling and Therapy. (n.d.). Retrieved fromhttps://www.guelphtherapist.ca/index.html
Harper, N. J., Fernee, C. R., & Gabrielsen, L. E. (2021). Nature’s Role in Outdoor Therapies: An umbrella review.International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(10), 5117.https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18105117
Korkmaz, H., & Güloğlu, B. (2021). The role of uncertainty tolerance and meaning in life on depression and anxiety throughout Covid-19 pandemic.Personality and Individual Differences, 179, 110952.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2021.110952
Kuiper, N. A. (2012). Humor and resiliency: Towards a process model of coping and growth. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 8(3), 475–491.https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.v8i3.464
Miloyan, B., Pachana, N. A., & Suddendorf, T. (2014). The future is here: A review of foresight systems in anxiety and depression.Cognition and Emotion,28(5), 795–810.https://doi.org/10.1080/02699931.2013.863179
Nichol, B., Wilson, R. G., Rodrigues, A., & Haighton, C. (2023). Exploring the effects of volunteering on the social, mental, and physical health and well-being of volunteers: An umbrella review.Voluntas.https://doi.org/10.1007/s11266-023-00573-z
Stress vs. anxiety vs. burnout: What’s the difference? (n.d.).Counseling Today. Retrieved fromhttps://www.counseling.org/publications/counseling-today-magazine/article-archive/article/legacy/stress-vs-anxiety-vs-burnout-whats-the-difference
Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc
BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Psychology of Education
Olivia Guy-Evans is a writer and associate editor for Simply Psychology. She has previously worked in healthcare and educational sectors.
Saul McLeod, PhD
BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester
Saul McLeod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.
Haddi BrowneMental Health Writer, Mental Health Researcher, ProofreaderEducation BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Mental Health StudiesMiss Haddi Browne is a freelance mental health writer and proof-reader with over seven years of experience working as a professional researcher with a diverse range of clients across the lifespan, including young adults with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression.
Haddi BrowneMental Health Writer, Mental Health Researcher, ProofreaderEducation BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Mental Health Studies
Haddi Browne
Mental Health Writer, Mental Health Researcher, Proofreader
Education BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Mental Health Studies
Miss Haddi Browne is a freelance mental health writer and proof-reader with over seven years of experience working as a professional researcher with a diverse range of clients across the lifespan, including young adults with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression.
