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We face enough stress in life without putting more on ourselves, but that’s exactly what many of us do, in one way or another, sometimes without even realizing it. The first step toward easing off of yourself is to realize when you might be making things harder on yourself unnecessarily.

Without blaming yourself, why not learn what you can do to stop the self-sabotage and be your own strongest ally in stress relief? Here are some of the best ways to make the most of your life and cut down on self-imposed stress.

Understand High Achievement vs. Perfectionism

Many people slip into perfectionistic habits, not realizing that there is a better way to do their best without beating themselves along the way. Manyperfectionists, on some level, believe that they need to attain perfection or they have failed; this belief can not only lead to stress, it can actually lead tolesssuccess than the attitude of a regular high-achiever!

An important first step is to recognize the difference between perfectionism and high-achievement and really understand why perfectionism is more a form of self-sabotage than an asset. When it comes to stress, “do your best” is better than “be perfect,” and in the long run, it’s healthier as well.

If you find yourself emotionally “holding onto” mistakes you’ve made, noticing more of what you’ve done wrong than what you’ve gotten right, and getting anxious when you do a good-but-not-perfect job, be aware that there is a better way.

Are You a Perfectionist? Take the Quiz

Our fast and free perfectionist quiz can help you determine if your behavior suggests that you are a perfectionist:

Balance Being a Hard Worker and Type A Behavior

Working hard can lead to less stress if it translates into greater resources and a sense of accomplishment.“Type A” behavior, which can be associated with an extreme version of a strong work ethic, on the other hand, can be hard on your mental and physical health, as well as your relationships.

“Type A” people tend to experience health issues to a greater degree than the average enthusiastic and balanced hard workers, and can engage in behaviors that are less than healthy as well. You may not be able to change your personality, but you can soften the edges and shift your focus toward being more relaxed, and that can make all the difference.

Type A Personality Traits

Lead a Balanced Life

Leading a full life is great, but if you don’t live abalancedlife, you can feel too stressed, too much of the time. How can you draw the line between being excitedly busy and overwhelmed?

Taking care of yourself is essential for stress management, and no other goals should be put above it, or you won’t be able to reach those goals as effectively—exhausted people lose momentum eventually.

Life Plan Strategies for Busy People

Think Like an Optimistic, Not a Pessimist

Many people areafraid of positive thinking, likening it to a mental trick where you ignore important problems or valuable cues in life, and eventually, make mistakes that bring even more stress.

Actually,realistic positive thinking(focusing on the positive without completely ignoring and failing to address issues that require a response) can help you to be more effective in your life, and less stressed along the way.

One of the best positive thinking strategies you can adopt is optimistic thinking, which is a specific pattern of thinking that allows you to focus your attention on the accomplishments that maximize your confidence and allow you to do your best in the future.

5 Steps to Become More Optimistic

Allow Yourself to Feel, Then Feel Better

You may have heard that it’s not healthy to “stuff your emotions” or to deny you feel the way you feel. This is true.

While it is important to find a balance between acknowledging your emotions and engaging in rumination, remaining in denial is not healthy either.

5 Coping Techniques for Stress Relief

Accept Your Weaknesses, and Everyone Else’s

There are many effective ways to do this, but the loving-kindness meditation is one that incorporates the highly effective stress management tool of meditation in a way that helps lift your mood and helps you relax.

How To Practice Loving Kindness Meditation

A Word From Verywell

It’s tough to stop putting pressure on yourself. You might even be afraid that if you relax a bit, things will fall apart. But putting less pressure on yourself can be key to feeling better and living a better life.

If you’re feeling the pressure and are struggling to let go, consider reaching out for professional help.Talking to a therapistmay help you put less pressure on yourself so you can get the most out of life.

How To Overcome Perfectionism

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Kelly JD.Your best life: Perfectionism–The bane of happiness.Clin Orthop Relat Res.2015;473(10):3108-3111. doi:10.1007/s11999-015-4279-9Lichtenstein MB, Malkenes M, Sibbersen C, Hinze CJ.Work addiction is associated with increased stress and reduced quality of life: Validation of the Bergen Work Addiction Scale in Danish.Scand J Psychol.2019;60(2):145-151. doi:10.1111/sjop.12506Conversano C, Rotondo A, Lensi E, Della Vista O, Arpone F, Reda MA.Optimism and its impact on mental and physical well-being.Clin Pract Epidemiol Ment Health. 2010;6:25-29. doi:10.2174/1745017901006010025Zeng X, Chiu CP, Wang R, Oei TP, Leung FY.The effect of loving-kindness meditation on positive emotions: A meta-analytic review.Front Psychol.2015;6:1693. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01693

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Kelly JD.Your best life: Perfectionism–The bane of happiness.Clin Orthop Relat Res.2015;473(10):3108-3111. doi:10.1007/s11999-015-4279-9Lichtenstein MB, Malkenes M, Sibbersen C, Hinze CJ.Work addiction is associated with increased stress and reduced quality of life: Validation of the Bergen Work Addiction Scale in Danish.Scand J Psychol.2019;60(2):145-151. doi:10.1111/sjop.12506Conversano C, Rotondo A, Lensi E, Della Vista O, Arpone F, Reda MA.Optimism and its impact on mental and physical well-being.Clin Pract Epidemiol Ment Health. 2010;6:25-29. doi:10.2174/1745017901006010025Zeng X, Chiu CP, Wang R, Oei TP, Leung FY.The effect of loving-kindness meditation on positive emotions: A meta-analytic review.Front Psychol.2015;6:1693. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01693

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Kelly JD.Your best life: Perfectionism–The bane of happiness.Clin Orthop Relat Res.2015;473(10):3108-3111. doi:10.1007/s11999-015-4279-9Lichtenstein MB, Malkenes M, Sibbersen C, Hinze CJ.Work addiction is associated with increased stress and reduced quality of life: Validation of the Bergen Work Addiction Scale in Danish.Scand J Psychol.2019;60(2):145-151. doi:10.1111/sjop.12506Conversano C, Rotondo A, Lensi E, Della Vista O, Arpone F, Reda MA.Optimism and its impact on mental and physical well-being.Clin Pract Epidemiol Ment Health. 2010;6:25-29. doi:10.2174/1745017901006010025Zeng X, Chiu CP, Wang R, Oei TP, Leung FY.The effect of loving-kindness meditation on positive emotions: A meta-analytic review.Front Psychol.2015;6:1693. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01693

Kelly JD.Your best life: Perfectionism–The bane of happiness.Clin Orthop Relat Res.2015;473(10):3108-3111. doi:10.1007/s11999-015-4279-9

Lichtenstein MB, Malkenes M, Sibbersen C, Hinze CJ.Work addiction is associated with increased stress and reduced quality of life: Validation of the Bergen Work Addiction Scale in Danish.Scand J Psychol.2019;60(2):145-151. doi:10.1111/sjop.12506

Conversano C, Rotondo A, Lensi E, Della Vista O, Arpone F, Reda MA.Optimism and its impact on mental and physical well-being.Clin Pract Epidemiol Ment Health. 2010;6:25-29. doi:10.2174/1745017901006010025

Zeng X, Chiu CP, Wang R, Oei TP, Leung FY.The effect of loving-kindness meditation on positive emotions: A meta-analytic review.Front Psychol.2015;6:1693. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01693

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