How to Stop Loving Someone

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy Is It So Hard to Stop Loving Someone?How to Stop Loving Someone

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Why Is It So Hard to Stop Loving Someone?

How to Stop Loving Someone

Loveis one of the most beautiful, yet complicated emotions human beings are able to feel. When done right, it can produce perpetual stomach butterflies, an extra spring in the step, and a cheesy grin that only thethoughtof a loved one can muster.

In contrast, this same emotion that is the source of so much pleasure may also be responsible for a mountain of fear and social judgment.

There are many reasonswhy you may decide to stop loving someone—perhapsyour feelings aren’t returned, or maybe your partner repeatedly acts in ways that are against your best interests. Whatever the grounds, pulling away from someone you held such strong feelings for is never easy. However, it can be accomplished with the right steps.

We’ll be talking you through the ways you canstop loving someone. To understand why it can be a difficult process, we’ll be delving into the reasons taking a step back from the person you love can be a heartbreaking ordeal.

There’s a reason simply speaking to the person you love, watching them work, or holding them as they sleep, can leave you feeling even more in love with every part of them. Here are some reasons why it might be hard to let go:

However, seeing as love can be an all-consuming, all-powerful emotion—whatever reasons may have pushed you to consider discontinuing these emotions must be worth leaning into, and should be carefully considered.

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When the bad outweighs the good in a person you love, it may be time to gentlyease yourself out of the feeling. Below are some ways to help you do so.

Be Honest With Yourself

The truth can hurt, but it can also be very freeing. The very first step to take when attempting to stop loving someone is to come clean about activities they engage in that cause your heart to ache.

Facing reality headfirst can sting—it’s never easy to do. Maybe your partner has becomeless attentive to your needsto the point where you feel alone, or maybe they engage in financially dangerous habits, arepromiscuous, or otherwise, act in ways that cause you to feel more pain than love.

Tapping into how their behaviors affect you can be an important first step to getting over your feelings.

Being honest with yourself will not automatically turn off your affection for them, but it can help you gain some perspective about your relationship. With this new perspective, your intense feelings of love for them may begin to lessen over time.

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Focus on Your Feelings

However brief or long your relationship has lasted, being in love with a person can have a deep impact on your growth, personal life, or even your worldview.

Acknowledge everything you learned from the moments together, and try to avoid downplaying what your love meant—this can only hold you back.

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Speak to Someone

Reaching out to your friends and family, updating them about your choice, and how difficult it is, can help to reduce the burden. In turn, your loved ones will offer support through your trying times. They may also exchange tips and ideas that helped to get them through periods where they made the same decision.

In other cases, speaking to aprofessionalabout your decision, and learning proven ways to cope with it, can help in smoothing the process.

Understand That It May Take Some Time

If there was a switch you could flick to turn off your feelings, life would be so much easier. The only way to get over your feelings is to work through them, and that usually takes some time.

Giving yourself the grace to go through the motions of pain, loss, and acceptance, however long that may take is important for achieving the eventual result of getting your feelings for a love interest under control.

Get Excited About the Future

At present, the thought of getting over your feelings and moving on to the next phase of your life can seem like a daunting task. However, time is a great healer, and it holds a lot of promise for you and your future.

Take comfort in the fact that you now have better knowledge of what you want in a partner and things you cannot tolerate in a relationship.

There’s so much promise in the future, that any pain or sadness you may be dealing with will most likely pale in comparison to what lies in wait for you.

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A Word From Verywell

When you decide to stop loving someone, the first thing to acknowledge is the strength it took to agree with removing yourself from a situation that no longer makes you happy.

Falling out of love isn’t easy, and there are many things that make it a truly challenging process to go through. But being honest with yourself, focusing on your feelings, speaking with others, and getting yourself psyched for the future can help in easing the process.

There’s love lurking everywhere, and while it may seem a little dreary right now, there’s always a shot at happiness around the corner.

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3 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Harvard Medical School.Love and the Brain.Earp, B. D., Wudarczyk, O. A., Foddy, B., & Savulescu, J. (2017).Addicted to love: What is love addiction and when should it be treated?. Philosophy, psychiatry, & psychology : PPP, 24(1), 77–92. doi:10.1353/ppp.2017.0011Rhoades GK, Kamp Dush CM, Atkins DC, Stanley SM, Markman HJ.Breaking up is hard to do: the impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction.J Fam Psychol. 2011;25(3):366-374. doi:10.1037/a0023627

3 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Harvard Medical School.Love and the Brain.Earp, B. D., Wudarczyk, O. A., Foddy, B., & Savulescu, J. (2017).Addicted to love: What is love addiction and when should it be treated?. Philosophy, psychiatry, & psychology : PPP, 24(1), 77–92. doi:10.1353/ppp.2017.0011Rhoades GK, Kamp Dush CM, Atkins DC, Stanley SM, Markman HJ.Breaking up is hard to do: the impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction.J Fam Psychol. 2011;25(3):366-374. doi:10.1037/a0023627

Harvard Medical School.Love and the Brain.Earp, B. D., Wudarczyk, O. A., Foddy, B., & Savulescu, J. (2017).Addicted to love: What is love addiction and when should it be treated?. Philosophy, psychiatry, & psychology : PPP, 24(1), 77–92. doi:10.1353/ppp.2017.0011Rhoades GK, Kamp Dush CM, Atkins DC, Stanley SM, Markman HJ.Breaking up is hard to do: the impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction.J Fam Psychol. 2011;25(3):366-374. doi:10.1037/a0023627

Harvard Medical School.Love and the Brain.

Earp, B. D., Wudarczyk, O. A., Foddy, B., & Savulescu, J. (2017).Addicted to love: What is love addiction and when should it be treated?. Philosophy, psychiatry, & psychology : PPP, 24(1), 77–92. doi:10.1353/ppp.2017.0011

Rhoades GK, Kamp Dush CM, Atkins DC, Stanley SM, Markman HJ.Breaking up is hard to do: the impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction.J Fam Psychol. 2011;25(3):366-374. doi:10.1037/a0023627

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Be Honest With Yourself#

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