Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsTake the Anger Test5 Ways to Cope With AngerHow to Get Help
Table of ContentsView All
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Table of Contents
Take the Anger Test
5 Ways to Cope With Anger
How to Get Help
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Do you find yourself wondering, “Why am I so angry?” We’ve all had our days. Anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. There are many situations that can trigger feelings of anger, which may range in intensity from mild annoyance to profound rage.
“We all experience different emotions at different times, and anger is one that you may experience,” says licensed psychologist Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS. “The key is to acknowledge it, understand why you are feeling this way, and then think of the best way for you to manage it.”
We all experience different emotions at different times, and anger is one that you may experience. The key is to acknowledge it, understand why you are feeling this way, and then think of the best way for you to manage it.—RACHEL GOLDMAN, PHD, FTOS
We all experience different emotions at different times, and anger is one that you may experience. The key is to acknowledge it, understand why you are feeling this way, and then think of the best way for you to manage it.
—RACHEL GOLDMAN, PHD, FTOS
But when our anger becomes extreme, uncontrollable, or chronic, it can lead to stress that harms our health or even our relationships with other people. Because of this, it is important to understand what we can do when we are feeling angry so we can get our feelings under control.
Read on to learn how to keep your anger in check with strategies like deep breathing, mindfulness, and improved self-awareness.
While anger is often connected to negative health consequences, research suggests that the use of constructive ways of managing anger is associated with a lower risk of heart disease.
Lucas Ottone / Stocksy
But First, Take the Anger Test
This short, free 21-item test measures a variety of symptoms and feelings associated withanger, such as anger about the present and future, anger towards the self, and hostile feelings toward others.
If you are experiencing anger, there are things that you can do to manage your emotions. Below is a list of some things that may help.
Take Some Deep Breaths
When anger strikes, it’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment. Your body often enters a state known as thefight-or-flight response, which helps prime your body to take action. Your heart rate increases and you begin to breathe much more rapidly.
To take control and reduce feelings of anger, it can be helpful to focus on your breathing. Focus on taking slow, deep, controlled breaths. Rather than taking shallow breaths that only fill your chest, try taking deeper breaths that expand your belly.
The great thing aboutdeep breathingis that it is something you can do quickly in the moment whenever anger threatens to overwhelm you. It can give you time to calm yourself, take some moments to think, and respond in a way that isn’t going to have long-term negative effects.
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Recognize Your Response to Anger
Sometimes just taking a pause and asking ourselves what is going on right now can be helpful. Once you answer that question, you can then ask yourself what is in my control and what can I do about it right now.—RACHEL GOLDMAN, PHD, FTOS
Sometimes just taking a pause and asking ourselves what is going on right now can be helpful. Once you answer that question, you can then ask yourself what is in my control and what can I do about it right now.
It is important to remember that anger isn’t always expressed in the same way. Outward expressions of anger such as yelling or breaking things may be more apparent, but anger can also be expressed in more inward or passive ways.
When you direct your anger inward, you might do things to punish or isolate yourself. You might berate yourself with negative self-talk or even engage in actions that result in self-harm.
Passive anger often involves withholding attention or affection in order to punish others. Thesilent treatmentand sulking are two examples of more passive expressions of anger.
Change Your Thinking
One way to reduce your anger is to change how you think about events, people, or situations. When you focus on things negatively or irrationally, it’s easy to get caught up in emotions that feel dramatic and even overwhelming.
Cognitive reframingis a technique that is often used in some types of therapy to help change the way that people think about the things that happen to them. By changing these thoughts, you may be less likely to experience negative emotions such as anger.
Use Relaxation Strategies
In addition to deep breathing, learning relaxation strategies such as mindfulness,meditation, visualization, and progressive muscle relaxation can help you keep your cool when you become angry.
Mindful MomentNeed a breather? Take this free3-minute meditation to calm down quickly—or choose from ourguided meditation libraryto find another one that will help you feel your best.
Mindful Moment
Need a breather? Take this free3-minute meditation to calm down quickly—or choose from ourguided meditation libraryto find another one that will help you feel your best.
For example,mindfulnessis an approach that encourages people to focus on the here and now, including how they are feeling in the present moment. Learning how to be mindful of how you are feeling can foster a greater sense of self-awareness and often allows you to look at anger-provoking situations in a more detached way.
Mindfulness-based treatment programs have been found to be an effective approach for reducing feelings of anger and aggression.
Understand Why You’re Feeling Angry
Factors such as your personality, your coping style, your relationships, and your stress levels can all play a part in determining how much anger you experience in response to different situations and triggers.
Common Anger TriggersConflicts in relationshipsFamily problemsFinancial problemsMemories of negative eventsProblems at workSituations such as traffic, accidents, canceled plans, or being late
Common Anger Triggers
Conflicts in relationshipsFamily problemsFinancial problemsMemories of negative eventsProblems at workSituations such as traffic, accidents, canceled plans, or being late
In some cases, however, anger may be a symptom of an underlying mental health condition. Some of the conditions that may cause anger include:
The Connection Between Depression and Anger
While everyone feels angry sometimes, it is important to remember that it can sometimes be a sign of an underlying mental health condition. If your anger is chronic, troubling, or causing problems in your ability to function normally, talk to your healthcare provider.
They may evaluate you to see what other symptoms you might be experiencing. This might involve answering questions or filling out a questionnaire to screen for certain mental disorders.
Your doctor may also conduct a physical or perform lab tests to rule out any medical conditions that might be playing a role in your symptoms.
Your doctor may then recommend treatments such as psychotherapy, medications, or a combination of the two.
Keep in Mind
Anger can often be a normal response to a difficult situation. When managed effectively, anger can even serve as a positive force, motivating you to make changes that will resolve the problem. But it is important to recognize when anger is excessive, chronic, or harmful.
Finding things to do when you are angry can help you reduce the harm that these emotions can sometimes cause—and inspire you to seek help if you think your anger might be a sign of something more serious.
The 12 Best Anger Management Resources, Tested and Reviewed
4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Davidson KW, Mostofsky E.Anger expression and risk of coronary heart disease: evidence from the Nova Scotia Health Survey.Am Heart J. 2010;159(2):199-206. doi:10.1016/j.ahj.2009.11.007Zaccaro A, Piarulli A, Laurino M, et al.How breath-control can change your life: a systematic review on psycho-physiological correlates of slow breathing.Front Hum Neurosci. 2018;12:353. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353Sharma MK, Sharma MP, Marimuthu P.Mindfulness-based program for management of aggression among youth: a follow-up study.Indian J Psychol Med. 2016;38(3):213-216. doi:10.4103/0253-7176.183087Painuly NP, Grover S, Mattoo SK, Gupta N.Anger attacks in obsessive compulsive disorder.Ind Psychiatry J. 2011;20(2):115-119. doi:10.4103/0972-6748.102501
4 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Davidson KW, Mostofsky E.Anger expression and risk of coronary heart disease: evidence from the Nova Scotia Health Survey.Am Heart J. 2010;159(2):199-206. doi:10.1016/j.ahj.2009.11.007Zaccaro A, Piarulli A, Laurino M, et al.How breath-control can change your life: a systematic review on psycho-physiological correlates of slow breathing.Front Hum Neurosci. 2018;12:353. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353Sharma MK, Sharma MP, Marimuthu P.Mindfulness-based program for management of aggression among youth: a follow-up study.Indian J Psychol Med. 2016;38(3):213-216. doi:10.4103/0253-7176.183087Painuly NP, Grover S, Mattoo SK, Gupta N.Anger attacks in obsessive compulsive disorder.Ind Psychiatry J. 2011;20(2):115-119. doi:10.4103/0972-6748.102501
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Davidson KW, Mostofsky E.Anger expression and risk of coronary heart disease: evidence from the Nova Scotia Health Survey.Am Heart J. 2010;159(2):199-206. doi:10.1016/j.ahj.2009.11.007Zaccaro A, Piarulli A, Laurino M, et al.How breath-control can change your life: a systematic review on psycho-physiological correlates of slow breathing.Front Hum Neurosci. 2018;12:353. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353Sharma MK, Sharma MP, Marimuthu P.Mindfulness-based program for management of aggression among youth: a follow-up study.Indian J Psychol Med. 2016;38(3):213-216. doi:10.4103/0253-7176.183087Painuly NP, Grover S, Mattoo SK, Gupta N.Anger attacks in obsessive compulsive disorder.Ind Psychiatry J. 2011;20(2):115-119. doi:10.4103/0972-6748.102501
Davidson KW, Mostofsky E.Anger expression and risk of coronary heart disease: evidence from the Nova Scotia Health Survey.Am Heart J. 2010;159(2):199-206. doi:10.1016/j.ahj.2009.11.007
Zaccaro A, Piarulli A, Laurino M, et al.How breath-control can change your life: a systematic review on psycho-physiological correlates of slow breathing.Front Hum Neurosci. 2018;12:353. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353
Sharma MK, Sharma MP, Marimuthu P.Mindfulness-based program for management of aggression among youth: a follow-up study.Indian J Psychol Med. 2016;38(3):213-216. doi:10.4103/0253-7176.183087
Painuly NP, Grover S, Mattoo SK, Gupta N.Anger attacks in obsessive compulsive disorder.Ind Psychiatry J. 2011;20(2):115-119. doi:10.4103/0972-6748.102501
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