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If you’ve experienced a breakup, but have given yourself time to heal, you may feel ready totrustsomeone with your heart again. So, you’re looking for a romantic partner, but aren’t sure how to date again. How do you get back to navigating the dating world while protecting your mental and emotional health?
This article will explore the sorts of feelings you’ll likely have after a breakup, what to do before you start dating again, obstacles you might face in dating, how to begin meeting romantic prospects again, and what not to do on dates.
Common Feelings After a Breakup
In the aftermath of abreakup, you might be tempted to date for validation. Usually, that’s not a good idea. Find that point of acceptance and closure before it makes sense to seek out another romantic partner.
We’ve all been through painful breakups at one time or another. People commonly suffer from the following feelings and emotions when a relationship ends, especially if the split between a couple was contentious. These negative emotional states can impact your mental health:
It’s normal to feel these emotions at first. But it’s important to come to grips with the breakup and understand why it happened before you put yourself out there again.
In one study, scientists assessed the key aspects of romantic relationship breakups in emerging adults as predictors of future mental health and relationship functioning.Scientists enrolled young adults aged 20-25 in the study, with a breakup assessed at age 22. Short-term relationships are the norm during this period of young adulthood, but scientists wanted to determine the potential for growth following these early dissolutions.
What to Do Before You Date Again
Rather than jump headfirst into a new relationship, it helps to learn the lessons and patterns of your past relationship.
So, slow down and check to see if you’re truly ready. If you’re seeking a maturerelationshipfilled with love andintimacy, take steps to ensure you’re on the path to healing after a breakup:
By taking these steps, you’re more likely to make meaning out of your pain. You’ll also learn more about how you might’ve contributed to the end of the relationship. Taking responsibility for your part in contributing to the split while treating yourself kindly will enhance your future relationships.
According to a comprehensive research project (that included three studies), self-compassion promoted a more positive adjustment for people who owned their part in a romantic breakup.
People who had self-compassion and realized how their role in the relationship’s demise had a better romantic outlook, moremotivationfor self-improvement and greater future partner appreciation The positive adjustment occurred even while controlling for variables that commonly affect romantic breakup adjustments like self-esteem levels andattachment styles.
Are You Ready for a Relationship? Take the Quiz
Obstacles to Dating Again
How to Meet Romantic Prospects
So, you’reready to put yourself out there? Congratulations! Here are methods that will assist you in meeting new prospects.
Get the Basics Down
Employ Mindfulness
When you stop multi-tasking and are living in the moment, you’re living mindfully. Look in someone’s eyes when they speak—this is an example of being mindful. Here are some other benefits:
Be Genuine
Rather than be who you think the other person wants, don’t hide your quirks. Be who you really are and you’re more likely to find the right person for a relationship.
What Not to Do on Dates
You already have the guidelines on what will work, now for the things to avoid when you jump back into the dating pool. Though you might swear you’ve met the one, it’s better to give it time.
It’s normal for humans to bond with others. Foremotional wellness, wait until you’re ready for a strong emotional connection with a future partner. Choose wisely and you’re on your way to a new, healthy relationship.
2 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Zhang JW, Chen S. Self-compassion promotes positive adjustment for people who attribute responsibility of a romantic breakup to themselves.Self and Identity. 2017;16(6):732-759.
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