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At a GlanceCognitive reframing is a technique you can use to change how you think and feel about stressful situations.
At a Glance
Cognitive reframing is a technique you can use to change how you think and feel about stressful situations.
The way we view potential stress can have a major effect on how we experience it—either making it easier or a lot harder to get through.
One example is cognitive reframing, the time-honored, psychologist-recommended method of looking at things in life through a lens that creates less stress and gives us a greater sense of peace and control.
Let’s talk about what cognitive reframing is and go over some examples of how you can use the cognitive reframing technique to manage stress.
How to Stop Thoughts
What Is Cognitive Reframing?
Reframing is a way of changing the way you look at something and, in turn, changing the way you experience it.
Reframing can turn a stressful situation into:
Or it can make a negative situation seem more like:
Cognitive reframing is also called restructuring, which makes sense because the technique gives you a way to quite literally change your mind about stressful situations.
What Do Intrusive Thoughts Sound Like?
Why Reframing Stress Helps
Reframing techniques help minimize thestressorsyou perceive in your life and makerelaxationeasier.
How Cognitive Reframing Is Used in Therapy
How to Reframe Stress
It’s fairly simple to start using cognitive reframing in your daily life, and the more you do it the better you’ll get at it. Here’s a rundown of the steps in cognitive restructuring that you can practice.
Learn About Thought Patterns
The first step in cognitive reframing is learning about the negative thinking patterns likely to raise your stress levels. For example, there arecognitive distortionsthat many of us have that affect our perception and increase our stress.
You’ll also want to learn aboutnegative explanatory styles, which explain how pessimists view their life experiences.
Folks who are pessimistic tend to have more stress thanoptimists. If you’re more of a pessimistic thinker than an optimistic thinker, it’s important to acknowledge how that could be affecting your life stressors.
When you’ve got a solid understanding of these thinking patterns, you’ll see how they can negatively affect your life and why it will be helpful for you to take steps to change them.
How to Change Negative Thinking
Notice Your Thoughts
The next step is to catch yourself when you’re slipping into overly negative and stress-inducing patterns of thinking.Being aware of your patterns is key to challenging and ultimately changing them.
One thing you can do is just become more mindful of your thoughts and feelings in response to stress. You want to try to look at them as though you’re an observer—sort of like you’re on the outside looking in rather than being on the inside looking out.
When you catch negative thinking styles, just take note at first—don’t try to change them yet. You can even keep a journal and start recording what’s happening in your life and your thoughts about what you’re going through. Once you’ve got them written down, you can look more closely at your thoughts through your new “lens” and practice getting better at catching them.
Another helpful practice ismeditation, which helps you learn to quiet your mind and take a closer look at your thoughts. Once you become more of an observer of your thoughts and feelings, it’ll get easier to notice them rather than get caught up—and even stuck—in them.
Challenge Your Thoughts
As you start catching your negative thoughts, the next part of reframing is looking for the truth and accuracy (or lack thereof) of them. Is it possible that the things you’re telling yourself are only half-truths—or even full-on lies?
You can also ask yourself some specific questions to try to think about your thoughts in a new way. What are some other ways to think about the same set of events? Which ways of seeing things will serve you better?
Instead of seeing things the way you always have, try to challenge every negative thought. See if you can focus on thoughts that fit your situation but reflect a more positive outlook on it.
What Is Thought Broadcasting?
Replace Your Thoughts
Have you ever been to a hospital and noticed that the nurses often ask people about their “discomfort” rather than their “pain?” That’s a great example of cognitive reframing in action!
Imagine that you’re the patient and you’re in the worst pain of your life. If a nurse asks you about your “discomfort,” that’s going to feel like an understatement and you’ll probably be annoyed, or even feel like there’s a big disconnect between your experience and their perception of it.
On the other hand, if you’re actually not in that much pain, having it framed more as “discomfort” may actually help you feellesspain.
This is a useful reframing trick that you can use in your daily life. When you’re looking at something negative, see if you can change how you talk to yourself about it—use less strong,less negative emotions.
When you’re looking at a potentiallystressful situation, see if you can view it as a challenge versus a threat. You might want to think about it as looking for the hidden “gift” in every situation.
See if you can figure out your stressors on the more positive edge of reality, and view them in a way that still fits the facts of your situation, but is less negative and more positive.
All the Emotions We Feel
3 Examples of Cognitive Reframing
Let’s take a look at three examples of cognitive reframing in action.
Example 1
Imagine that you come down with COVID-19 and have to stay home from work and can’t see your family and friends while you’re sick. At first, you’re filled with worry and annoyance—on top of feeling pretty miserable physically. When you tune into your thoughts, you hear:
I’m missing out on weekly brunch with my best friend!
Take a step back and think about this thought from a more objective place instead of getting stuck in your feelings. It’s true, youwillhave to miss brunch this week. Make a list of the emotions that are present, too. Maybe you feel disappointed and like you’ve let your friend down.
So, while your friend might also be disappointed not to see you, chances are they wouldn’twantto risk getting sick and since they care about you, they’d probablyalsowant you to be home resting and getting better rather than holding up your end of the weekly brunch tradition!
Example 2
Here’s another example to think about. You make a mistake at work and even though nothing catastrophic happened, it was still a negative experience for you. When you looked at your thoughts, here’s what came up:
I’m so stupid! How could I have done that wrong?
Your feelings about the mistake you made are very big—you might be feeling a mix of frustration and disappointment in yourself and maybe some shame and embarrassment.
Pause and try to reframe the situation. Instead, you can tell yourself:
I did make a mistake, that’s true. And looking at what happened, I can see that it’s likely the mistake happened because I was using new software that we only got trained on last week!
I bet other people are also confused about this software, so I might not even be the only person who has messed up. I could reach out to my coworkers or manager and ask questions to make sure I really understand how to use it.
Making a mistake was actually a helpful sign here—it let me know that I need a little more info and practice to do my best work. And at least it wasn’t a big mistake—other than being a little embarrassed, it did not affect anyone else’s work or cause a big problem that someone else would have to solve.
Example 3
Here’s one final example of how you can use cognitive restructuring in your daily life.
Lately, you’ve felt like everything in your life is going wrong. Your work is hard, life at home is hard, you’re worried about money, you don’t have time for hobbies, and even your dog seems bored with you. Every time you check in with your thoughts, you’re hit with negative self-talk from every angle:
I’m going nowhere at my job but I can’t quit because we need the money!
My partner and kids are annoyed with me, they snip at me every time I try to talk to them!
I haven’t had time to go on a hike for months, and I spent all that money on that craft kit and haven’t even opened it!
The dog never wants to sit on the couch with me anymore!
Whew! That’s a lot of stress and negative thinking. Let’s look at these thoughts and feelings one at a time—objectively, like an observer! —and try not to get too lost in emotions.
Instead of telling yourself you’re stuck in a dead-end job, you could try reframing the thought like this:
I’m feeling a little bored at work, which tells me that I’ve reached a point where I’m pretty skilled at my job and maybe it’s time for a challenge. I can talk to my manager about doing some new tasks or maybe even doing some continuing education to sharpen my skills. In the meantime, it’s great that I have a job that provides us with the money we need to be safe and taken care of—that’s a perfectly “good enough” reason to have a job!
When you start worrying about how your family and friends are acting around you, try to remember that you can’t know for sure what they’re feeling and you don’t want to project whatyou’refeeling onto them.
You might try reframing your thoughts like this:
My partner and kids have also been really busy lately. We’re all like “ships passing in the night” between work, school, and the kids' after-school activities. They might be feeling like I’m being short with them, too. I can take this as a sign that it’s time to have some relaxing, stress-free family time. This weekend, maybe we can get a snack haul and watch that movie we’ve been talking about all summer…
Feeling like you’ve wasted effort or missed out on your hobbies can be yet another reason to “beat yourself up” but try not to. Instead, try thinking about it like this:
I know I haven’t gotten around to that craft kit yet, but I’m still glad that I bought it when it was on sale. Plus, fall is coming up which is my favorite season to hike. These are both things that I can look forward to when things quiet down in a few more weeks.
Our pets can be a source of stress and comfort in life, but much like how you can’t know what other humans in your home are feeling, you also can’t know exactly what’s up with your dog. But consider this:
I bet the dog is picking up on my stress and just doesn’t want me to ruin his peaceful vibe! I should remember that and not take it personally when he seems to just get off the couch as soon as I come into the room…actually, now that I think about it, I remember I snapped at him for getting up on the couch with muddy paws last week…he probably remembers getting scolded and now he’s trying not to make the same mistake again. Wow, he’s a smart dog!
That’s the gist of reframing! While you will get better with practice, it’s something you can start doing today and you can do it as much as you want.
Most people are surprised at how much cognitive reframing helps them —changing the way you look at your life can truly change your life!
How to Use Proactive Thinking
5 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Family Physician.Using cognitive reframing to encourage behavior change.American Psychological Association.5 steps of cognitive restructuring instructions.Gordan R, Gwathmey JK, Xie LH.Autonomic and endocrine control of cardiovascular function.World J Cardiol.2015;7(4):204-14. doi:10.4330/wjc.v7.i4.204Robbins ML, Wright RC, María lópez A, Weihs K.Interpersonal positive reframing in the daily lives of couples coping with breast cancer.J Psychosoc Oncol. 2019;(37)2:160-177. doi:10.1080/07347332.2018.1555198Seward BL.Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Well-Being (9th Edition).Jones & Bartlett Learning. 2017.
5 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.American Family Physician.Using cognitive reframing to encourage behavior change.American Psychological Association.5 steps of cognitive restructuring instructions.Gordan R, Gwathmey JK, Xie LH.Autonomic and endocrine control of cardiovascular function.World J Cardiol.2015;7(4):204-14. doi:10.4330/wjc.v7.i4.204Robbins ML, Wright RC, María lópez A, Weihs K.Interpersonal positive reframing in the daily lives of couples coping with breast cancer.J Psychosoc Oncol. 2019;(37)2:160-177. doi:10.1080/07347332.2018.1555198Seward BL.Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Well-Being (9th Edition).Jones & Bartlett Learning. 2017.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
American Family Physician.Using cognitive reframing to encourage behavior change.American Psychological Association.5 steps of cognitive restructuring instructions.Gordan R, Gwathmey JK, Xie LH.Autonomic and endocrine control of cardiovascular function.World J Cardiol.2015;7(4):204-14. doi:10.4330/wjc.v7.i4.204Robbins ML, Wright RC, María lópez A, Weihs K.Interpersonal positive reframing in the daily lives of couples coping with breast cancer.J Psychosoc Oncol. 2019;(37)2:160-177. doi:10.1080/07347332.2018.1555198Seward BL.Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Well-Being (9th Edition).Jones & Bartlett Learning. 2017.
American Family Physician.Using cognitive reframing to encourage behavior change.
American Psychological Association.5 steps of cognitive restructuring instructions.
Gordan R, Gwathmey JK, Xie LH.Autonomic and endocrine control of cardiovascular function.World J Cardiol.2015;7(4):204-14. doi:10.4330/wjc.v7.i4.204
Robbins ML, Wright RC, María lópez A, Weihs K.Interpersonal positive reframing in the daily lives of couples coping with breast cancer.J Psychosoc Oncol. 2019;(37)2:160-177. doi:10.1080/07347332.2018.1555198
Seward BL.Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Well-Being (9th Edition).Jones & Bartlett Learning. 2017.
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