How to Recognize the Signs and Types of Manipulative Behavior

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsCharacteristicsTypesHow to Identify ItCausesTreatmentCopingFinal Thoughts

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Characteristics

Types

How to Identify It

Causes

Treatment

Coping

Final Thoughts

Interpersonal relationships are complex and require healthy boundaries for everyone to thrive together. However, when problems arise, such as manipulative behavior, they need to be addressed immediately.

Manipulative behavior is used when someone wants to influence a person for their benefit, to obtain power and control.

Although the manipulator may be subtle, it’s essential to spot the signs to stop the behavior and protect yourself.

Manipulative behavior can occur in personal and professional relationships and, over time, cause a power imbalance that leads to more problems down the road. Although seemingly harmless at first, it can create anemotionally abusive relationship, leaving the other person feeling confused, anxious, and fatigued.

Learn more about the signs, causes, and coping strategies for manipulative behavior.

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Characteristics of Manipulative Behavior

Manipulative behavior can be done consciously or subconsciously with ill or good intentions. It is a human trait, which means everyone has done something manipulative before. The tactics can be overt or subtle.

Some signs of manipulative behavior include:

Manipulators have poor boundariesand experience difficulty healthily communicating their needs. They use these tactics to confuse you into giving up your power.

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Types of Manipulative Behavior

Manipulative behavior and emotional manipulation go hand-in-hand. Playing mind games creates fear, a questioning of your reality, and degrades your trust in yourself and others.

Here are some forms of manipulative behavior:

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Identifying Manipulative Behavior

The manipulator may have various reasons for their actions. Some may want to avoid accountability, others may purposely create confusion, or they may be dealing with a mental health condition that is affecting their behavior.

Understanding the tactics and signs can help you avoid the detrimental effects on your emotional well-being and relationships.

Gaslighting

This tactic may include various forms of manipulation, including lying, using what someone has said or done against them, and denying conversations. This kind ofemotional abusecan cause someone to question their own sanity.

Studies show that gaslighters will use gendered and racialized stereotypes against their victims to manipulate their realities.As this behavior continues, it can create doubt, anxiety, and depression.

Isolation

There is safety in numbers, which is why manipulators work to isolate you from the people and places you feel most comfortable. The manipulator can take control once someone has distanced themselves from their community, severs ties with friends and family, and is placed in an unfamiliar environment.

In a recent study, researchers found that both men and women experience emotionally abusive relationships; however, women reported experiencing more isolation than men.

Passive-Aggression

Passive-aggressive people are indirect, but it is still a form of aggression.

Passive-Aggressive BehaviorIt is defined as behavior that is seemingly innocuous, accidental, or neutral but that indirectly displays an unconscious aggressive motive.

Passive-Aggressive Behavior

It is defined as behavior that is seemingly innocuous, accidental, or neutral but that indirectly displays an unconscious aggressive motive.

Those who have an issue with direct communication may use backhanded compliments,guilt trips, or talking behind your back to express disapproval of your behavior.

Research shows that passive aggression is adefense mechanismfor emotionally immature people. Those who struggle with anorexia, acute stress disorders, andborderline personality disorderare more likely to use passive aggression during a conflict.

Love Bombing

Love bombingis a pattern of behavior where a partner is overly affectionate and shows extreme attention to their partner. This manipulation tactic includes grand overtures such as placing you on a pedestal, introducing you to their loved ones, constantly giving presents, and even saying “I love you” very early into the relationship. These are red flags.

Love bombing may be a sign ofnarcissistic personality disorderorunhealthy attachment styles.

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Causes of Manipulative Behavior

People use manipulation to hold undue power over others. This behavior differs from healthy forms of social influence because there’s no equitable exchange between individuals. One person is exploiting the other for personal gain.

Chronic manipulative behavior can be due to many factors, such as:

Treatment for Manipulative Behavior

Long-term manipulation can negatively affect close relationships between friends, family, romantic partners, and colleagues.

Manipulative behavior can deteriorate the relationship’s quality, leading to poor mental health or the ending of the relationship.

Dealing with this toxic behavior can become exhausting. Treatment for those with manipulative behaviors depends on the root of the issue. Therapy may be necessary if a mental health issue causes it.

Here are ways to stop manipulative behavior in its tracks:

Manipulative tactics are destructive, but everyone is in charge of their behavior and can change.

Coping With Manipulative Behavior

Dealing with manipulative people is exhausting regardless of their role in your life. You may not realize a person is manipulating you because of the subtle signs that turn into more significant issues down the road.

Although it may be challenging to recognize or prevent these behaviors—because you’re not creating them—you can protect yourself from the fallout.

Learn to trust your gut when confronted with manipulative behavior. You can empathize with the other person without engaging in harmful behavior such as arguing, which may encourage them.

Here are some ways to set boundaries in relationships where manipulative behavior is present:

Someone manipulating youisn’t your fault, but you must look out for your best interests. Be careful when deciding to confront someone. The possibility that they may lose their power or control over a situation or person may cause them to be more aggressive or erratic. Take care of yourself and make the healthiest and safest choices for you.

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8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.APA dictionary of psychology.Manipulation.Sweet PL.The sociology of gaslighting.Am Sociol Rev. 2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843Karakurt G, Silver KE.Emotional abuse in intimate relationships: The role of gender and age.Violence Vict. 2013;28(5):804-821. doi:10.1891/0886-6708.vv-d-12-00041APA Dictionary of Psychology.Passive-aggressive.Schanz CG, Equit M, Schäfer SK, Käfer M, Mattheus HK, Michael T.Development and psychometric properties of the test of passive aggression.Front Psychol. 2021;12:579183. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.579183Fraley RC, Roisman GI.The development of adult attachment styles: four lessons.Current Opinion in Psychology. 2019;25:26-30. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.02.008Brüne M.Borderline personality disorder: Why ‘fast and furious’?EMPH. 2016;2016(1):52-66. doi:10.1093/emph/eow002Green A, Charles K.Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation.SAGE Open. 2019;9(2). doi:10.1177/2158244019846693

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.APA dictionary of psychology.Manipulation.Sweet PL.The sociology of gaslighting.Am Sociol Rev. 2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843Karakurt G, Silver KE.Emotional abuse in intimate relationships: The role of gender and age.Violence Vict. 2013;28(5):804-821. doi:10.1891/0886-6708.vv-d-12-00041APA Dictionary of Psychology.Passive-aggressive.Schanz CG, Equit M, Schäfer SK, Käfer M, Mattheus HK, Michael T.Development and psychometric properties of the test of passive aggression.Front Psychol. 2021;12:579183. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.579183Fraley RC, Roisman GI.The development of adult attachment styles: four lessons.Current Opinion in Psychology. 2019;25:26-30. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.02.008Brüne M.Borderline personality disorder: Why ‘fast and furious’?EMPH. 2016;2016(1):52-66. doi:10.1093/emph/eow002Green A, Charles K.Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation.SAGE Open. 2019;9(2). doi:10.1177/2158244019846693

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

APA dictionary of psychology.Manipulation.Sweet PL.The sociology of gaslighting.Am Sociol Rev. 2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843Karakurt G, Silver KE.Emotional abuse in intimate relationships: The role of gender and age.Violence Vict. 2013;28(5):804-821. doi:10.1891/0886-6708.vv-d-12-00041APA Dictionary of Psychology.Passive-aggressive.Schanz CG, Equit M, Schäfer SK, Käfer M, Mattheus HK, Michael T.Development and psychometric properties of the test of passive aggression.Front Psychol. 2021;12:579183. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.579183Fraley RC, Roisman GI.The development of adult attachment styles: four lessons.Current Opinion in Psychology. 2019;25:26-30. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.02.008Brüne M.Borderline personality disorder: Why ‘fast and furious’?EMPH. 2016;2016(1):52-66. doi:10.1093/emph/eow002Green A, Charles K.Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation.SAGE Open. 2019;9(2). doi:10.1177/2158244019846693

APA dictionary of psychology.Manipulation.

Sweet PL.The sociology of gaslighting.Am Sociol Rev. 2019;84(5):851-875. doi:10.1177/0003122419874843

Karakurt G, Silver KE.Emotional abuse in intimate relationships: The role of gender and age.Violence Vict. 2013;28(5):804-821. doi:10.1891/0886-6708.vv-d-12-00041

APA Dictionary of Psychology.Passive-aggressive.

Schanz CG, Equit M, Schäfer SK, Käfer M, Mattheus HK, Michael T.Development and psychometric properties of the test of passive aggression.Front Psychol. 2021;12:579183. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.579183

Fraley RC, Roisman GI.The development of adult attachment styles: four lessons.Current Opinion in Psychology. 2019;25:26-30. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.02.008

Brüne M.Borderline personality disorder: Why ‘fast and furious’?EMPH. 2016;2016(1):52-66. doi:10.1093/emph/eow002

Green A, Charles K.Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation.SAGE Open. 2019;9(2). doi:10.1177/2158244019846693

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