Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsUnderstanding Social AnxietyStrategiesLifestyle AdjustmentsTips for Navigating Social SituationsBuilding and Maintaining Relationships

Table of ContentsView All

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Table of Contents

Understanding Social Anxiety

Strategies

Lifestyle Adjustments

Tips for Navigating Social Situations

Building and Maintaining Relationships

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We all experience anxiety in social situations, whether it’s the flutter of nerves you feel before giving a presentation or your heart rate increasing when meeting someone new.

“Nervousness and shyness are natural responses to situations that can be new or somewhat intimidating but are usually overcome when it is time to be in a social situation,” saysDr. Tirrell De Gannes, PsyD.

But how do you know if these responses are just theoccasional stomach butterfliesor something deeper, like social anxiety disorder (SAD)?  Ahead, we lay out everything you need to know about SAD, including signs, symptoms, and self-help techniques.

If you’re anxious in social situations, does that mean you have social anxiety?Well,not exactly. Let’s break it down.

SAD is the second most commonly diagnosed anxiety disorder, affecting nearly 15 million adults in the U.S. There aretwo types of social anxiety disorder:generalized and non-generalized.

People with generalized social anxiety disorder feel intense anxiety in all or most kinds of social interactions, saysDr. Lauren Cook, Pasadena-based clinical psychologist and author of “Generation Anxiety.”

Non-generalized social anxiety, on the other hand, is triggered in specific social settings. It’s often performance-based, says Dr. Cook. Like, when you’re giving a speech, answering a question in class, or eating at a restaurant.

Symptoms Of Social Anxiety Disorder

Some common symptoms of SAD include:

If you have been experiencing these symptoms for at least six months and it’s affecting your ability to function, you may have social anxiety disorder.

Impact On Daily Life

Everyday tasks like going to work or school, taking phone calls, grocery shopping, or keeping appointments can feel overwhelming when you have social anxiety disorder.

“I pretty much always want to cancel and not go—it takes a lot just to get to the social part,” says Emily Taffel, 44, a mom and entrepreneur who has had social and general anxiety since childhood. “Physically, I get extremely overheated, my breathing speeds up, my heart races, I will get irritable very easily [and] in the worst scenario, it can become a full-blown panic attack.”

Emily TaffelThere is no rational thought behind all of this, just an overwhelming panic about being around people—what will happen, who will be there, what if everyone is already seated and I’m late and interrupt something, what if I wore the wrong thing?

Emily Taffel

There is no rational thought behind all of this, just an overwhelming panic about being around people—what will happen, who will be there, what if everyone is already seated and I’m late and interrupt something, what if I wore the wrong thing?

Automatic Negative Thoughts & The Spotlight Effect

Taffel is not alone in her experience—many people with social anxiety experiencecognitive biasesthat prevent them from engaging in social situations. One common cognitive bias isautomatic negative thoughts(ANTs), which are irrational negative beliefs and thinking patterns that are triggered in response to anxiety-provoking situations, explainsMatt Sosnowsky, LCSW, MAPP. ANTs can further fuel anxiety and create a vicious cycle. They occur almost instantaneously and feel incredibly convincing, even though they are divorced from reality, adds Sosnowsky.

This can make those with SAD refrain from engaging in social interactions because they have bought into the brain’s running commentary that they’re not good enough or are going to mess up, says Dr. Cook.

ANTs aren’t the only cognitive biases people with SAD experience—there’s also the“spotlight” effect. This is when a person believes that others are paying more attention to them than they are in reality, explains Dr. De Gannes. He adds that this overestimation of attention and the need to be “well-prepared” for it can exacerbate feelings of social anxiety.

Strategies for Overcoming Social Anxiety

The good news is social anxiety can be managed and overcome. Dr. Cook and Sosnowsky note thatcognitive behavioral techniquescan be helpful. Here are a few both recommend:

Other treatment options includeprescription medications, like SSRIs, SNRIs, beta-blockers, and benzodiazepines, saysDr. Daniella Marchetti, a Miami-based clinical psychologist.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Social Anxiety Disorder

Self-Help Techniques

Medication and therapy aren’t the only treatment options for social anxiety disorder. There areother effective coping skillsyou can try to snap out of the fight-or-flight mode and overcome social anxiety:

“I write out my fears then try to play the other side of it and remind myself most people don’t remember half of what you say because they are too absorbed in their own thoughts or anxieties,” says an award-winning mental health bloggerLindsey Hall, 35.

Taffel likes to do the5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise. It involves naming five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can touch, two you can smell, and one you can taste.

“I also look for the weird and the whimsical,” she says. For example, look around and spot three things you’ve never seen before (the weird) and three things that are out of the ordinary (the whimsical). “By the time I cycle through, I’m usually able to smile and feel calmer,” she says.

These 9 Breathing Exercises Can Help Relieve Anxiety

One thing to keep in mind with any form of anxiety is that it can be managed from the “neck down,” says Sosnowsky. Simple lifestyle tweaks that can help you tackle social anxiety include:

How Does a Lack of Sleep Affect Your Mental Health?

Practical Tips for Navigating Social Situations

When you have social anxiety, it can feel tempting to cancel plans. But doing so only reinforces your anxiety and avoidance behaviors, says Dr. Cook. Here are six strategies to try instead:

How to Be Less Self-Conscious in Social Situations

Even though it may feel daunting, it’s possible to make new connections and build meaningful relationships despite havingsocial anxiety. Here’s how to get started:

Tips to Maintain an Interpersonal Relationship

Takeaway

Social anxiety disorder akasocial phobiais the crippling fear of being criticized, embarrassed, or rejected in social situations. The good news is it’s a treatable condition. With therapy, self-care strategies, and gradual exposure to social situations, it can be effectively managed and possibly cured. If you’re having symptoms, it’s important to get help at the earliest. The sooner you reach out, the sooner you’ll start feeling better.

How to Deal With Social Anxiety at a Party

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA.Anxiety Disorders - Facts & StatisticsNational Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.Hilimire MR, DeVylder JE, Forestell CA.Fermented foods, neuroticism, and social anxiety: An interaction model.Psychiatry Res. 2015;228(2):203-208. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2015.04.023Palmer CA, Bower JL, Cho KW, et al.Sleep loss and emotion: A systematic review and meta-analysis of over 50 years of experimental research.Psychol Bull. 2024;150(4):440-463. doi:10.1037/bul0000410

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA.Anxiety Disorders - Facts & StatisticsNational Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.Hilimire MR, DeVylder JE, Forestell CA.Fermented foods, neuroticism, and social anxiety: An interaction model.Psychiatry Res. 2015;228(2):203-208. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2015.04.023Palmer CA, Bower JL, Cho KW, et al.Sleep loss and emotion: A systematic review and meta-analysis of over 50 years of experimental research.Psychol Bull. 2024;150(4):440-463. doi:10.1037/bul0000410

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA.Anxiety Disorders - Facts & StatisticsNational Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.Hilimire MR, DeVylder JE, Forestell CA.Fermented foods, neuroticism, and social anxiety: An interaction model.Psychiatry Res. 2015;228(2):203-208. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2015.04.023Palmer CA, Bower JL, Cho KW, et al.Sleep loss and emotion: A systematic review and meta-analysis of over 50 years of experimental research.Psychol Bull. 2024;150(4):440-463. doi:10.1037/bul0000410

Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA.Anxiety Disorders - Facts & Statistics

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.

Hilimire MR, DeVylder JE, Forestell CA.Fermented foods, neuroticism, and social anxiety: An interaction model.Psychiatry Res. 2015;228(2):203-208. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2015.04.023

Palmer CA, Bower JL, Cho KW, et al.Sleep loss and emotion: A systematic review and meta-analysis of over 50 years of experimental research.Psychol Bull. 2024;150(4):440-463. doi:10.1037/bul0000410

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