How to Overcome Perfectionism

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Important Distinctions Between Perfectionists and High Achievers

Make a Cost-Benefit Analysis

Become Aware of Your Tendencies

Focus on the Positive

Alter Your Self-Talk

Enjoy the Process

Learn to Handle Criticism

Are You a Perfectionist? Take the Quiz

Are you a perfectionist? Many people have traits of perfectionists and are even proud of them, but there are important differences between perfectionists and high achievers and being a high achiever is far better for yourhealth and happiness.

If you have perfectionistic tendencies, it’s vital to findstrategiesto get past them and move toward being a non-perfectionistic high achiever.

Perfectionism can rob you of yourpeace of mind, enjoyment of life, and self-esteem. Though it’s a process that may take a little time and practice, shedding the burden of perfectionism can greatly decrease the level of stress you feel on a daily basis.

How to Deal With Perfectionism in Relationships

Before you delve further into strategies for letting go of perfectionism, it is important to remember the basics of what perfectionism is and is not; this can help you to stay motivated to make changes. Perfectionism differs from high achievement in one important way: where your focus lies. If you are striving for excellence, you can be happy about your achievements and learn from your mistakes.

Perfectionism: 10 Signs of Perfectionist Traits

Perfectionism is different in that the focus is less forgiving; perfectionists beat themselves up for anything that appears to be lacking, and this robs them of the satisfaction and pride that comes from all of the things that they do well.

Perfectionists actually achieve less than those with healthier attitudes, because their focus on perfection robs them of motivation and can bring on procrastination and other self-defeating behaviors.

With that said, here are some important steps you can take to maintain a healthier attitude.

Take a closer look at your perfectionistic traits. You may think you’re more effective because of them (although according to research, this probably isn’t true), but at what cost? Perfectionism has many negative consequences, and you may be experiencing several of them right now.

Make a list of all the ways perfectionism is hurting you (and those around you), and you’ll be more motivated to shed these tendencies.

You may not realize how pervasive perfectionism can be. By becoming more aware of your patterns, you’re in a better position to alter them. If you’re able, it’s a great idea to record your perfectionistic thoughts as they pop into your head.

If it’s impractical for you to jot thoughts down as they come, it’s a great idea to go over your day each night and remember the times when you felt you’d failed, or hadn’t done well enough, and write down what you thought at the time.

This will help you become more aware of perfectionistic thoughts as they come to you in the future. (You can even journal about your feelings about these thoughts, but don’t feel you’ve ‘failed’ if you don’t have time to do this!)

If you’re struggling with perfectionism, you probably have honed the skill of spotting mistakes in even the best works of others and of yourself. You may just naturally look for it, and notice it above all other things.

Those who wrestle with perfectionism tend to have a critical voice in their head telling them their work isn’t good enough, they’re not trying hard enough, andthey’renot good enough. If you’re going to overcome perfectionism, you need to work on changing this little voice!

How to Use Positive Self Talk for a Better Life

Unfortunately, if you’re not used to working out regularly, you may get quite sore from such a quick change, and perhaps give up. Butsetting the goalto exercise once or twice the first week, and add an additional workout periodically until you’ve worked up to your goal, you will more likely reach your goal and enjoy many more ‘successes’ in the process.

If you find you don’t achieve perfection, you can then reflect back and see all that you’ve gained in just working toward a worthy goal, assessing and appreciating the gains youdidmake in the process.

One important way to recover from perfectionism is to begin focusing more on theprocessof reaching toward a goal, rather than just focusing on the goal itself.

If you tend to look at criticism as an attack, reacting defensively, an attitude change can help. Constructive criticism can give you important clues on how to improve your performance, making your less-than-perfect performances into useful stepping stones that lead to excellence.

If the criticism you’re receiving is pointed or harsh, it’s okay to remind others (and yourself) that mistakes are a great way to learn.

Our fast and free perfectionist quiz can help you determine if your behavior suggests that you are a perfectionist:

1 SourceVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Hulme N, Hirsch C, Stopa L.Images of the self and self-esteem: do positive self-images improve self-esteem in social anxiety?.Cogn Behav Ther. 2012;41(2):163–173. doi:10.1080/16506073.2012.664557

1 Source

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Hulme N, Hirsch C, Stopa L.Images of the self and self-esteem: do positive self-images improve self-esteem in social anxiety?.Cogn Behav Ther. 2012;41(2):163–173. doi:10.1080/16506073.2012.664557

Hulme N, Hirsch C, Stopa L.Images of the self and self-esteem: do positive self-images improve self-esteem in social anxiety?.Cogn Behav Ther. 2012;41(2):163–173. doi:10.1080/16506073.2012.664557

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?