How to Not Take Things Personally

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat Causes People to Take Things Personally?How to Know When You’re Taking Something Too PersonallyBenefits of Taking Things PersonallyHow to Stop Taking Things Personally

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

What Causes People to Take Things Personally?

How to Know When You’re Taking Something Too Personally

Benefits of Taking Things Personally

How to Stop Taking Things Personally

In fact, scientists in one recent studylooked closely at responses to both approving and disapproving videos involving social evaluation. Researchers analyzed the activity of 37 participants while they watched videos in which people expressed positive, negative, and neutral statements that tapped into basic emotions. Results showed that “criticism hurt everybody.”

Read on to learn why people take things personally, how to know when you’re taking something too personally, and how to identify the instances in which taking things personally can actually benefit you. You’ll also learn how to take things less personally.

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How to Be Less Sensitive

It’s normal to care about what others think about us but not to the point where it hinders us. The causes of why we take things personally stem from a variety of factors:

Is There Really Anything Wrong With Being a Highly Sensitive Person?

We often overlook the compliments we receive like, “Oh, you look nice today.” Sometimes we spend too much energy on the shortcomings people talk about.

For example, you might have gotten upset after your boss said you’re not yet ready to handle a bigger project. With a different perspective, you could’vereframedwhat he said as constructive criticism instead.

Signs You May Take Things Too Personally

Here are some signs that others’ opinions are having negative effects on you:

Withrumination, you’re holding onto a perceived critical conversation way too long. For some, replaying what happened enables them to imagine giving a different response. For others, rumination reminds them of their own weakness.Overthinking can become disempowering. Rumination can occur with conditions likeobsessive-compulsive disorder.

According to one study,rumination can magnify and prolong negative moods and interfere with problem-solving, impact levels of people’s anxiety anddepression. It can also interfere with and limit the effectiveness of psychological interventions. Rumination was also shown to worsen people’sstresslevels.

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This might sound surprising, but there are positive aspects to taking things personally. By taking things personally, family and friends or those in meaningful relationships with us, are cued into what hurts us. When equipped with this knowledge, they may modify their behavior so that they don’t offend you.

It’s also humanizing and humbling to get your feelings a little hurt every now and then. You can then learn how to overcome your distress, which only makes you moreresilientin the future.

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After someone offends you, here are a few techniques you might use so you don’t go home feeling upset:

Finding a Therapist as a Highly Sensitive Person

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2 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Miedl SF, Blechert J, Klackl J, et al.Criticism hurts everybody, praise only some: Common and specific neural responses to approving and disapproving social-evaluative videos.Neuroimage. 2016;132:138-147. doi:10.1016/j.neuroimage.2016.02.027Watkins ER, Roberts H.Reflecting on rumination: Consequences, causes, mechanisms and treatment of rumination.Behav Res Ther. 2020;127:103573. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2020.103573

2 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Miedl SF, Blechert J, Klackl J, et al.Criticism hurts everybody, praise only some: Common and specific neural responses to approving and disapproving social-evaluative videos.Neuroimage. 2016;132:138-147. doi:10.1016/j.neuroimage.2016.02.027Watkins ER, Roberts H.Reflecting on rumination: Consequences, causes, mechanisms and treatment of rumination.Behav Res Ther. 2020;127:103573. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2020.103573

Miedl SF, Blechert J, Klackl J, et al.Criticism hurts everybody, praise only some: Common and specific neural responses to approving and disapproving social-evaluative videos.Neuroimage. 2016;132:138-147. doi:10.1016/j.neuroimage.2016.02.027Watkins ER, Roberts H.Reflecting on rumination: Consequences, causes, mechanisms and treatment of rumination.Behav Res Ther. 2020;127:103573. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2020.103573

Watkins ER, Roberts H.Reflecting on rumination: Consequences, causes, mechanisms and treatment of rumination.Behav Res Ther. 2020;127:103573. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2020.103573

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