Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsFight Negative ThinkingSet Small GoalsPractice Social SkillsMeet New PeopleSay Yes to InvitationsStay in TouchTalk With a TherapistFrequently Asked Questions

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Fight Negative Thinking

Set Small Goals

Practice Social Skills

Meet New People

Say Yes to Invitations

Stay in Touch

Talk With a Therapist

Frequently Asked Questions

Close

Making friends can be tough for anyone, but it can be particularly challenging for those withsocial anxiety disorder ​(SAD).SAD causes feelings of extreme nervousness and self-consciousness in social situations. This often leads to the avoidance of these events, which can make it difficult to form and maintain friendships.

Some peopleliving with SADmay think “I have no friends,” but not know how to change this. Fortunately, many strategies exist for making friends (even as an introvert with social anxiety), broadening one’s social circle, and building fulfilling relationships. Here are several to consider.

At a GlanceHaving social anxiety doesn’t have to stop a person from building new connections. By taking small steps, combatting negative thinking, and looking for opportunities to meet new people, individuals with social anxiety disorder can begin to develop rewarding friendships.

At a Glance

Having social anxiety doesn’t have to stop a person from building new connections. By taking small steps, combatting negative thinking, and looking for opportunities to meet new people, individuals with social anxiety disorder can begin to develop rewarding friendships.

Press Play for Advice On Making Friends

Negative thinkingcan make social anxiety worse.It can also make it more difficult to make friends. Examples of negative thoughts include thinking that no one is interested in what we have to say, overanalyzing other people’s words and actions, and always assuming the worst.

Cognitive reframingis one strategy that can help change these thoughts. This process helps people learn to recognize thought distortions, adjust their mindset, and see things in a more optimistic way.

How to Stop Negative Thoughts

Small goals that can result in the creation of new friendships might include:

Tips for Setting Goals

When working toward making new friends, it can also be helpful tolearn and practice social skills. A higher level of social skills is associated with lower levels of social anxiety.Developing social skills can also make interacting with and meeting others easier.

Skills that can help include those related to openbody languageand learning how to make small talk with new acquaintances. Rehearsing these conversations and having a list ofsmall talk topicscan lead to greater comfortability in casual interactions.

Not every encounter will result in the making of a new friend. However, each interaction provides an opportunity to practice smiling, chatting, and other social skills. It also gives us the chance to practice managing the anxiety that these interactions can cause.

Look at all social interactions—whether at work, school, church, or even the grocery store—as opportunities to enhance social skill development.

Foolproof Conversation Starters That Can Lead to New Friendships

Finding friendships requires being open to opportunities to meet and get to know new people. During this process, it’s also important to recognize thatfirst impressionsaren’t necessarily the best indicators of who could become a long-term friend.

Whenlooking for potential friends, a good place to start is with our own interests.We could join a club or organization that we’d enjoy, for example, and connect with members there. This enables us to be involved with things we’re passionate about while connecting with others.

Other ways to meet new people include:

Online apps such as Meetup and Bumble can also be useful for finding new friends. Such apps can be particularly appealing to people with social anxiety because they allow them to get to know the other person before meeting in person.

‘I Don’t Need Friends’: Why You Might Feel This Way

When invited to spend time with others, someone with social anxiety benefits from doing their best not to turn the invitation down. Saying yes helps show a level of interest in developing the relationship. It also signifies a willingness to make the effort needed tostrengthen the friendshipand help it grow.

Be patient as your friendship grows. Research shows it can take 50 or more hours before an acquaintance becomes a true friend.

14 Sure-fire Ways to Find and Make Friends as an Adult

Once we’ve begun to form friendships, it is important to stay in touch.This requires getting contact information for the people we meet, whether it’s their cell phone number or a link to their social media pages.

Over time, we will come to learn how often certain people stay in touch. It’s up to us to do our part to contact our new friends and make plans. Talking to each other in person or on the phone can be important, but staying in touch can also involve sending a text or sharing a post on social media.

Making friends takes time. But for people who feel that they can’t meet new people or that the idea of even trying is too frightening or overwhelming, it may be a good idea toconsult a therapist.

Treating social anxiety disordercan make it easier to relax and enjoy being around others more. Once the social anxiety is under control, it also becomes easier to approach new people and start developing friendships.

How to Make Couple Friends

Frequently Asked QuestionsAnxiety and depression are both associated with negative thoughts,which can make forming friendships more difficult. Learning how to identify, combat, and replace these patterns with more encouraging thoughts can help in social situations. Work on building social skills, practice social interactions, and look for chances to meet people with similar interests.Learn More:How to Talk to Friends About DepressionWhile social anxiety can make us want to stay home and avoid social situations, it is important to stay in touch with friends. Sometimes this involves forcing ourselves to accept invitations that we might otherwise decline. Over time, repeated exposure to social situations—even virtually—can help reduce feelings of social anxiety.Learn More:How to Practice Exposure Therapy for Social Anxiety DisorderMany factors can make it hard to develop new friendships. They range from experiencing social anxiety to not knowing how to socialize effectively to situational factors such as moving to a new area, starting a new job, or becoming a parent. One way to address this is to actively seek friendships and look for opportunities to meet new people.Learn More:Why Can’t I Make Friends?

Anxiety and depression are both associated with negative thoughts,which can make forming friendships more difficult. Learning how to identify, combat, and replace these patterns with more encouraging thoughts can help in social situations. Work on building social skills, practice social interactions, and look for chances to meet people with similar interests.Learn More:How to Talk to Friends About Depression

Anxiety and depression are both associated with negative thoughts,which can make forming friendships more difficult. Learning how to identify, combat, and replace these patterns with more encouraging thoughts can help in social situations. Work on building social skills, practice social interactions, and look for chances to meet people with similar interests.

Learn More:How to Talk to Friends About Depression

While social anxiety can make us want to stay home and avoid social situations, it is important to stay in touch with friends. Sometimes this involves forcing ourselves to accept invitations that we might otherwise decline. Over time, repeated exposure to social situations—even virtually—can help reduce feelings of social anxiety.Learn More:How to Practice Exposure Therapy for Social Anxiety Disorder

While social anxiety can make us want to stay home and avoid social situations, it is important to stay in touch with friends. Sometimes this involves forcing ourselves to accept invitations that we might otherwise decline. Over time, repeated exposure to social situations—even virtually—can help reduce feelings of social anxiety.

Learn More:How to Practice Exposure Therapy for Social Anxiety Disorder

Many factors can make it hard to develop new friendships. They range from experiencing social anxiety to not knowing how to socialize effectively to situational factors such as moving to a new area, starting a new job, or becoming a parent. One way to address this is to actively seek friendships and look for opportunities to meet new people.Learn More:Why Can’t I Make Friends?

Many factors can make it hard to develop new friendships. They range from experiencing social anxiety to not knowing how to socialize effectively to situational factors such as moving to a new area, starting a new job, or becoming a parent. One way to address this is to actively seek friendships and look for opportunities to meet new people.

Learn More:Why Can’t I Make Friends?

8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute of Mental Health.Social anxiety disorder: More than just shyness.University of Michigan Health.Anxiety: Stop negative thoughts.Caballo VE, Salazar IC, Irurtia MJ, Olivares P, Olivares J.The relationship between social skills and social anxiety and personality styles/disorders.Behav Psychol. 2014;22(3):401-422.National Social Anxiety Center.Thriving as a college student with social anxiety.Hall J.How many hours does it take to make a friend?.J Soc Pers Relat. 2018;36(4):1278-1296. doi:10.1177/0265407518761225Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-zEysenck MW, Fajkowska M.Anxiety and depression: toward overlapping and distinctive features.Cognit Emotion. 2017;32(7):1391-1400. doi:10.1080/02699931.2017.1330255Chesham RK, Malouff JM, Schutte NS.Meta-analysis of the efficacy of virtual reality exposure therapy for social anxiety.Behav Change. 2018;35(3):152-166. doi:10.1017/bec.2018.15

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute of Mental Health.Social anxiety disorder: More than just shyness.University of Michigan Health.Anxiety: Stop negative thoughts.Caballo VE, Salazar IC, Irurtia MJ, Olivares P, Olivares J.The relationship between social skills and social anxiety and personality styles/disorders.Behav Psychol. 2014;22(3):401-422.National Social Anxiety Center.Thriving as a college student with social anxiety.Hall J.How many hours does it take to make a friend?.J Soc Pers Relat. 2018;36(4):1278-1296. doi:10.1177/0265407518761225Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-zEysenck MW, Fajkowska M.Anxiety and depression: toward overlapping and distinctive features.Cognit Emotion. 2017;32(7):1391-1400. doi:10.1080/02699931.2017.1330255Chesham RK, Malouff JM, Schutte NS.Meta-analysis of the efficacy of virtual reality exposure therapy for social anxiety.Behav Change. 2018;35(3):152-166. doi:10.1017/bec.2018.15

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

National Institute of Mental Health.Social anxiety disorder: More than just shyness.University of Michigan Health.Anxiety: Stop negative thoughts.Caballo VE, Salazar IC, Irurtia MJ, Olivares P, Olivares J.The relationship between social skills and social anxiety and personality styles/disorders.Behav Psychol. 2014;22(3):401-422.National Social Anxiety Center.Thriving as a college student with social anxiety.Hall J.How many hours does it take to make a friend?.J Soc Pers Relat. 2018;36(4):1278-1296. doi:10.1177/0265407518761225Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-zEysenck MW, Fajkowska M.Anxiety and depression: toward overlapping and distinctive features.Cognit Emotion. 2017;32(7):1391-1400. doi:10.1080/02699931.2017.1330255Chesham RK, Malouff JM, Schutte NS.Meta-analysis of the efficacy of virtual reality exposure therapy for social anxiety.Behav Change. 2018;35(3):152-166. doi:10.1017/bec.2018.15

National Institute of Mental Health.Social anxiety disorder: More than just shyness.

University of Michigan Health.Anxiety: Stop negative thoughts.

Caballo VE, Salazar IC, Irurtia MJ, Olivares P, Olivares J.The relationship between social skills and social anxiety and personality styles/disorders.Behav Psychol. 2014;22(3):401-422.

National Social Anxiety Center.Thriving as a college student with social anxiety.

Hall J.How many hours does it take to make a friend?.J Soc Pers Relat. 2018;36(4):1278-1296. doi:10.1177/0265407518761225

Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S.Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.Genus. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-z

Eysenck MW, Fajkowska M.Anxiety and depression: toward overlapping and distinctive features.Cognit Emotion. 2017;32(7):1391-1400. doi:10.1080/02699931.2017.1330255

Chesham RK, Malouff JM, Schutte NS.Meta-analysis of the efficacy of virtual reality exposure therapy for social anxiety.Behav Change. 2018;35(3):152-166. doi:10.1017/bec.2018.15

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