How to Maintain a Social Life When You’re Quitting Drinking

Being sober doesn’t have to mean giving up your social life, yet managing sobriety in a social setting (especially when alcohol is involved) can be a bit of a challenge. You may have a lot of concerns about going out after quitting drinking.

If you’re in early recovery, you’ll want to stay away from any situation where alcohol or drugs are involved for some time. These environments can trigger cravings and put you at risk of relapse.

If you have decided to cut back on alcohol for your health, or you’re more established in your sobriety, social environments that involve drinking may be easier to navigate. Still, being prepared and having a plan can help you enjoy going out after you’ve quit drinking.

Press Play for Advice On Achieving SobrietyThis episode ofThe Verywell Mind Podcast, featuring Dirty Heads Vocalist Jared Watson, shares how he found sobriety. Click below to listen now.

Press Play for Advice On Achieving Sobriety

This episode ofThe Verywell Mind Podcast, featuring Dirty Heads Vocalist Jared Watson, shares how he found sobriety. Click below to listen now.

Subscribe Now:Apple Podcasts/Spotify/Google Podcasts

Have an Honest Talk With Your Friends

It’s up to you to decide how much information to share and who to share it with. You certainly don’t have to justify your decision. Some people drink, and some people don’t. Everyone has their own choice to make, and no explanation is needed.

If you have good friends who are likely to support your efforts, you might decide to have a direct and honest conversation with them. Tell them that you plan to avoid alcohol or that you’re cutting back.

Let them know what they can do to help. Perhaps you’d appreciate a sober buddy, or someone elsestaying soberwith you when you go out or helping you resist the temptation to drink. Or maybe you’d still like to hang out together, but not in bars. You might even still like to do the same things—such as playing cards or watching movies together—but without alcohol.

If you or a loved one are struggling with substance use or addiction, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Be Prepared for People’s Reactions

While some of your friends may be totally supportive of your decision, others may seem indifferent or respond in a negative way. Your sobriety might serve as a reminder to your “drinking buddies” that they’re consuming unhealthy amounts of alcohol, or stir up a bit of anxiety if they feel uncomfortable socializing sober. Or, they may simply want you to partake alongside them because they think you’ll all have more fun together when drinking.

It’s also important to be prepared for the long-term changes you might experience from your decision to quit drinking, including:

A change in your friendship dynamics doesn’t have to be a bad thing, however. You might find the shift welcoming. There’s always a chance that you’ll enjoy conversations with your friends more when you’re sober. And you may even find that they appreciate you more or respect your decisions.

And even if your friendships do change in a way that you don’t like, don’t despair. You might be able to create a new circle of friends, or simply decide to hang out with your old pals in different locations and times when alcohol isn’t the main focus.

Go Places That Don’t Serve Alcohol

One of the easiest things you can do to avoid drinking—and to avoid having to explain yourself—is to go to places that don’t serve alcohol.

Coffee shops, movie theaters, museums, libraries, and fast-food restaurants are just a few places that aren’t likely to serve alcoholic beverages. Look for places in your community that are alcohol free—from farmer’s markets to local theaters, you’ll likely find plenty of spots that don’t serve alcohol.

You mightgo out aloneas you start this new chapter of your life. Or, you might invite your friends to join you in these places as a way to encourage sober activities.

Develop a Few Go-To Responses

Obviously, you aren’t likely to avoid alcohol all the time. Weddings, shows, and even art galleries usually serve alcohol. And, of course, your friends may want to go to bars, clubs, or other events where alcohol is one of the main attractions.

To be better prepared, it’s important to develop some go-to responses ahead of time for how you’ll politely turn down a drink or handle questions about why you’re not drinking.

Depending on your comfort level and the person asking, you might decide to offer a direct, truthful response. Here are some options:

Of course, you don’t need to explain yourself. A simple, “I’m drinking seltzer tonight,” is enough. But if you know your friends are likely to give you a hard time, or you know that you’re going to run into people who are going to insist you drink, having a few canned responses can prevent you from being taken off guard.

How to Maintain a Social Life When You’re Quitting Drinking

Have a Non-Alcoholic Drink on Hand

It’s helpful to have something in your hand at all times. So if you go to a place that serves alcohol, maybe you can immediately order anon-alcoholic drink.

If you go to someone’s home, bring your own drink. Whether you have bottled water or a protein shake with you, keeping a drink in your hand can prevent people from offering you alcohol. It will also help you decline more easily if you are offered a drink, because you can say, “No thanks, I already have one.”

Think Fun

When you walk into a situation believing that you can’t have fun sober, this is likely to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You might even isolate yourself or hold back from having a good time—which will then reinforce your belief (and others) that being sober makes fun impossible.

Enter into the situation with a positive attitude, and make the best of your time, even if you’re the only one not drinking. You might actually find that being sober is more enjoyable than you predicted.

Create an Exit Excuse

If you go out with people who are drinking and you’re not having fun, or you’re really tempted to drink yourself, then you’ll want to leave early. This is especially important if you’re going somewhere where you used to always drink before. The bar or the same nightclub you used to frequent while drinking may be a trigger for you.

While you can just leave or say you have to go without offering a reason why, you might find it’s more helpful to have a scripted excuse to quickly get out of the situation. A few examples:

Plan a Productive Morning After

Go for a jog, clean the house, or run errands. Then, take the rest of your day to enjoy your time. Having more time and energy might motivate you to continue abstaining from alcohol.

Try New Things With Your Friends

If your friends are up for trying things that don’t involve alcohol, then you can make some suggestions.

You might find that you get to know each other much better when you’re creating new memories—rather than standing around in the same old bars. They might have fun exploring new places and trying new things with you.

Seek Out People Who Don’t Drink

But in reality, there are plenty of people out there who don’t drink—and who are looking for friends who don’t drink. You just have to find them. You might need to try new activities so that you can meet sober people, including:

When you get together with such people, you’ll likely find that they do plenty of activities that don’t involve alcohol—like hiking, skiing, playing games, or fishing. And you might even find that you enjoy doing these types of things much more than activities that involve alcohol.

Developing Healthy Relationships in Recovery

Learn From Your Experiences

Consider every sober outing an experiment. You might make some mistakes—like drinking when you didn’t intend to or arguing with someone who offers you a drink. But you also might discover that you are happier when you aren’t drinking, or that you really enjoy conversations with people more when you’re sober.

Learn from each experience. The information you take away can help you continue creating your best life.

Keep in Mind

Regardless of why you decide to change your drinking habits, socializing sober can feel scary. If you find that you’re struggling to avoid alcohol, or you’re feeling lonely and isolated, considerseeking professional help. Atherapistcan support your efforts and help you find the strategies that work best for you, your health, and your life.

What to Do If Dry January Didn’t Work for You

1 SourceVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Karriker-Jaffe CJ, Witbrodt J, Mericle AA, Polcin DL, Kaskutas LA.Testing a socioecological model of relapse and recovery from alcohol problems.Subst Abuse Res Treat. 2020;14. doi:10.1177/1178221820933631

1 Source

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Karriker-Jaffe CJ, Witbrodt J, Mericle AA, Polcin DL, Kaskutas LA.Testing a socioecological model of relapse and recovery from alcohol problems.Subst Abuse Res Treat. 2020;14. doi:10.1177/1178221820933631

Karriker-Jaffe CJ, Witbrodt J, Mericle AA, Polcin DL, Kaskutas LA.Testing a socioecological model of relapse and recovery from alcohol problems.Subst Abuse Res Treat. 2020;14. doi:10.1177/1178221820933631

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Press Play for Advice On Achieving Sobriety#

Have an Honest Talk With Your Friends#

Be Prepared for People’s Reactions#

Go Places That Don’t Serve Alcohol#

Develop a Few Go-To Responses#

Have a Non-Alcoholic Drink on Hand#

Think Fun#

Create an Exit Excuse#

Plan a Productive Morning After#

Try New Things With Your Friends#

Seek Out People Who Don’t Drink#

Learn From Your Experiences#

Keep in Mind#