How to Leave a Toxic Relationship in 6 Steps

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhat Is a Toxic Relationship?Why It’s Hard to Leave a Toxic Relationship6 Steps to Leave

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

What Is a Toxic Relationship?

Why It’s Hard to Leave a Toxic Relationship

6 Steps to Leave

A good relationship can elevate your life in ways that you never thought were possible. A bad one can leave you heartbroken, depressed, and listless.Toxic relationshipsare more common than you might think, and their effects can often be crippling.

Toxic and unhealthy relationships are often baffling to people on the outside. Surely, if someone makes you miserable or is physically oremotionally abusive, the obvious decision is to leave them—right? The reality is often more complicated due to many factors, including finances, children, and emotions. To leave a toxic relationship, you should:

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A toxic relationship is one that is harmful. While somesigns of a toxic relationshipare more obvious—like physical abuse,repeated infidelity, and inappropriate sexual behavior—others can be harder to detect. It may involve disrespectful, dishonest, or controlling behavior.For example, your partner cuts you down frequently. As a result, your mental health may begin to suffer.

Abuse and Domestic Violence

While a relationship does not have to involve abuse for it to be considered toxic, all abusive relationships are toxic. Abuse can manifest in different ways, including emotional, verbal,economic, sexual, andphysical.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

People get tied up in relationship patterns that can be hard to break out of. Some might feel trapped financially or worry about their children. In abusive relationships, victims make an average of seven attempts to end the relationship before they do, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.Here are reasons why people find it difficult to get out of a toxic relationship:

If you’ve been in a toxic relationship for a long time, it can be hard to see a way out the door. You may even believe that you are really the cause of the problem. Feeling this way is a common phenomenon as the perpetrator in the relationship is often an expert atgaslighting, which leaves you questioning reality.

How to Leave a Toxic Relationship in 6 Steps

Ending a bad relationshipcan be really complicated, but the sooner you leave a toxic relationship, the better. Here are some things you can do to make the process easier:

Signs You Might Be In an Unhealthy Relationship, And What to Do

A Word From Verywell

Being in a toxic relationship is hard,and you might even feel trapped. You deserve to be happy and rid of the harm and negativity it’s causing you. Leaving an unhealthy and toxic relationship is a tremendously difficult and brave step, but youcando it. To find happiness and comfort in your life again, you must leap. There are good people out there. Don’t let this experience sabotage your pursuit of joy. Contact amental health professionalif you’re having trouble coping or need help creating boundaries.

8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Domestic Violence Hotline.Healthy relationships.MedlinePlus.Domestic violence. Reviewed August 28, 2019. Updated December 7, 2020.National Domestic Violence Hotline.Warning signs of abuse.National Domestic Violence Hotline.50 obstacles to leaving.Cohen GJ, Weitzman CC, Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health; Section on Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics.Helping children and families deal with divorce and separation.Pediatrics. 2016;138(6). doi:10.1542/peds.2016-3020Cleveland Clinic.Narcissistic personality disorder: Traits, tests, treatment. Reviewed June 19, 2020.Valashjardi A, Charles K.Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation.SAGE Open. 2019;9(2). doi:10.1177/2158244019846693MedLine Plus.Narcissistic personality disorder. Updated September 7, 2020.

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Domestic Violence Hotline.Healthy relationships.MedlinePlus.Domestic violence. Reviewed August 28, 2019. Updated December 7, 2020.National Domestic Violence Hotline.Warning signs of abuse.National Domestic Violence Hotline.50 obstacles to leaving.Cohen GJ, Weitzman CC, Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health; Section on Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics.Helping children and families deal with divorce and separation.Pediatrics. 2016;138(6). doi:10.1542/peds.2016-3020Cleveland Clinic.Narcissistic personality disorder: Traits, tests, treatment. Reviewed June 19, 2020.Valashjardi A, Charles K.Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation.SAGE Open. 2019;9(2). doi:10.1177/2158244019846693MedLine Plus.Narcissistic personality disorder. Updated September 7, 2020.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

National Domestic Violence Hotline.Healthy relationships.MedlinePlus.Domestic violence. Reviewed August 28, 2019. Updated December 7, 2020.National Domestic Violence Hotline.Warning signs of abuse.National Domestic Violence Hotline.50 obstacles to leaving.Cohen GJ, Weitzman CC, Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health; Section on Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics.Helping children and families deal with divorce and separation.Pediatrics. 2016;138(6). doi:10.1542/peds.2016-3020Cleveland Clinic.Narcissistic personality disorder: Traits, tests, treatment. Reviewed June 19, 2020.Valashjardi A, Charles K.Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation.SAGE Open. 2019;9(2). doi:10.1177/2158244019846693MedLine Plus.Narcissistic personality disorder. Updated September 7, 2020.

National Domestic Violence Hotline.Healthy relationships.

MedlinePlus.Domestic violence. Reviewed August 28, 2019. Updated December 7, 2020.

National Domestic Violence Hotline.Warning signs of abuse.

National Domestic Violence Hotline.50 obstacles to leaving.

Cohen GJ, Weitzman CC, Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health; Section on Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics.Helping children and families deal with divorce and separation.Pediatrics. 2016;138(6). doi:10.1542/peds.2016-3020

Cleveland Clinic.Narcissistic personality disorder: Traits, tests, treatment. Reviewed June 19, 2020.

Valashjardi A, Charles K.Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation.SAGE Open. 2019;9(2). doi:10.1177/2158244019846693

MedLine Plus.Narcissistic personality disorder. Updated September 7, 2020.

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