Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsWhy It’s Important to Keep a Conversation GoingTips to Encourage ConversationListening and RespondingOvercoming Conversation RoadblocksHow to Practice Your Conversation SkillsNext in Dinner Party GuideYour (Mostly) Stress-Free Guide to Hosting an Unforgettable Dinner Party

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Table of Contents

Why It’s Important to Keep a Conversation Going

Tips to Encourage Conversation

Listening and Responding

Overcoming Conversation Roadblocks

How to Practice Your Conversation Skills

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Have you ever felt stuck in a conversation that feels like it’s running on fumes? We’ve all been there. Awkward silences creep in, and you scramble to think of something to say besides “the weather sure is something, huh?” You’re grasping for straws and wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

Keeping aconversationflowing smoothly is an art, one that requires creativity, confidence, empathy, and top-notch listening skills.

“Everything about conversation is tricky—it’s a relentless coordination game where multiple people each make thousands of microdecisions, so all of their tiny choices (words, acoustic sounds, nonverbal signals, etc.) need to be coordinated with each other,” saysAlison Wood Brooks, PhD, an associate professor and conversation researcher at Harvard Business School.

If keeping a conversation going is a struggle for you, we’ve got you covered. We asked a communication expert for strategies to help you level up your conversation game and overcome any roadblocks. These tips will come in handy while talking to a friend, colleague, family member, or even a romantic partner.

At a GlanceLong pauses and awkward eye contact? Yep, we’ve all been there. Some people are great conversationalists, but, TBH, some of us could use some improvement.Luckily, there are steps we can take to boost our conversation game and keep a conversation going beyond a few forced pleasantries. Keeping a few topics and anecdotes handy, asking open-ended questions, and looking for common ground with someone are a few strategies that can help you keep a conversation going.A little practice goes a long way. You’ve got this!

At a Glance

Long pauses and awkward eye contact? Yep, we’ve all been there. Some people are great conversationalists, but, TBH, some of us could use some improvement.Luckily, there are steps we can take to boost our conversation game and keep a conversation going beyond a few forced pleasantries. Keeping a few topics and anecdotes handy, asking open-ended questions, and looking for common ground with someone are a few strategies that can help you keep a conversation going.A little practice goes a long way. You’ve got this!

Long pauses and awkward eye contact? Yep, we’ve all been there. Some people are great conversationalists, but, TBH, some of us could use some improvement.

Luckily, there are steps we can take to boost our conversation game and keep a conversation going beyond a few forced pleasantries. Keeping a few topics and anecdotes handy, asking open-ended questions, and looking for common ground with someone are a few strategies that can help you keep a conversation going.

A little practice goes a long way. You’ve got this!

30 Questions to Engage Someone Beyond ‘How Are You?’

Keeping a conversation going isn’t just about avoiding awkward silences. It serves a number of important purposes, including helping people bond and improving overall communication. Some of the reasons why it is important include the following:

50 Deep Conversation Starters for Meaningful Connections

Whether it’s afirst date, a party, or a networking event, these are some strategies that can help you create and maintain a conversation.

Keep a Few Topics Handy

Dr. Brooks recommends thinking of a few potential conversation topics that will interest the person you’re talking to ahead of time, even if it’s just a few minutes before the conversation begins. She explains that this can help reduce youranxietyand panic when the conversation lags and you need a new topic to keep it alive and bubbling.

Tell a Fun Story

People love a good story! Share an interesting anecdote or experience that relates to the conversation. This can not only be entertaining but also open doors for the other person to share something similar. It can be helpful to keep a few anecdotes in your back pocket in case you need them.

Look for Common Ground

Conversations flow naturally when you share interests, experiences, or perspectives with someone. Look for things you have in common, whether it’s an interest in a particular sitcom, a love for travel, or a weakness for croissants.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Instead of yes-or-no questions, ask open-ended questions that invite the other person to share more information and expand on their thoughts. Open-ended questions encourage the other person to contribute to the conversation. Learning more about their perspective also helps you find new ways to keep the conversation going.

Give a Compliment

Give the person you’re talking to a compliment. This will make them feel pleased and make them more likely to open up to you in a conversation.Avoid generic compliments though; make it somethinguniqueand genuine.

Be Yourself

People are drawn to genuine enthusiasm. Be yourself during the conversation, letting your personality shine through. It also helps the other person feel more comfortable and ensures that the conversation stays authentic and genuine.

Keep It Positive

Help! The Conversation’s Dying!Show genuine interest in the other person. Ask them something you’re curious about.Tailor your conversation. Try to naturally mirror the other person’s body language and conversational style.Keep it simple. They might be nervous too, so consider mentioning topics that are easy to talk about (hobbies, sports, the weather, etc.)Encourage them to talk about themselves. If the conversation if floundering, lean on those open-ended questions that inspire them to talk more about themselves. You might ask questions about their job, where they grew up, or plans they have for the future.Leave on a high note! If it seems like the conversation has naturally run its course, wrap it up before awkwardness sets in. Try something simple like, “Well, it was great talking to you! I hope we can chat again soon!”

Help! The Conversation’s Dying!

Show genuine interest in the other person. Ask them something you’re curious about.Tailor your conversation. Try to naturally mirror the other person’s body language and conversational style.Keep it simple. They might be nervous too, so consider mentioning topics that are easy to talk about (hobbies, sports, the weather, etc.)Encourage them to talk about themselves. If the conversation if floundering, lean on those open-ended questions that inspire them to talk more about themselves. You might ask questions about their job, where they grew up, or plans they have for the future.Leave on a high note! If it seems like the conversation has naturally run its course, wrap it up before awkwardness sets in. Try something simple like, “Well, it was great talking to you! I hope we can chat again soon!”

20 Questions to Avoid on a First Date (And What to Ask Instead)

Strategies for Active Listening and Effective Responding

Active listeningis a skill that helps you really tune into what someone is saying. It involves being fully present in the conversation and showing interest in what the other person has to say. You’re not just listening so you can respond; you’re listening so you can truly get what they are saying.

By using active listening, you’ll be able to keep the conversation going more easily and respond effectively to what the other person is saying.

Look Interested

Don’t just wait for your turn to talk. Pay attention to what the other person is saying, make eye contact with them, and use your facial expressions to show them you’re listening and engaged.

Pay Attention to Non-verbal Cues

Pay attention tononverbal cuessuch asfacial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice. These cues can tell you how the person really feels about something and can help guide the direction of the conversation.

Respond Appropriately

If the person you’re talking to says something interesting, mysterious, unclear, or thought-provoking, Dr. Brooks recommends asking them more about it.

—ALISON WOOD BROOKS, PHD

Build on What the Person Says

Pay attention to what the other person is saying. Use this as a springboard to ask follow-up questions or share a related story or experience of your own.

Avoid Interrupting Them

Allow the other person to finish their thoughts before jumping in with your own contributions.Interruptingthem can disrupt the flow of the conversation and make them feel unheard.

Don’t Repeat Yourself

If you notice yourself or the person you’re talking to repeating something that’s already been said, it’s a sign that you need to switch to a new, different topic, says Dr. Brooks. “Redundancies aren’t fun or interesting for speakers or listeners.”

Use Call-Backs

Call-backs are brief references to things that you’ve discussed with the person before, showing them that you were listening, thinking about what was said, and are clever enough to reference back to it later, says Dr. Brooks. “They often get a good laugh, and if you start to look for them, you’ll notice that many people whom we view as ‘charismatic’ or ‘good listeners’ are simply calling back details you’ve discussed together before.”

How to Be Less Self-Conscious in Social Situations

Solutions for Overcoming Conversation Roadblocks

A conversation roadblock is like hitting a sudden red light. It’s that moment when we’re talking, everything seems to be going well, and then bam! We find ourselves stuck, not knowing what to say next. It’s that weird silence that creeps in, making us feel a bit lost and unsure of how to keep the conversation going. Awkward!

Don’t worry, you’re not alone if you’ve experienced this! Even the best communicators are bound to make mistakes, have moments of awkwardness, stumble, and fall, says Dr. Brooks. “And even the best communicators can’t control how their conversation partners will behave.”

These are some strategies that can help you overcome conversational roadblocks:

10 Topics to Spark New Conversations With Long-Term Partners

The good news is that you can build your conversation skills with regular practice. Consider some of the following ideas for opportunities that will help you practice your skills:

What should I talk about?

Do you need some quick ice-breakers or small-talk starters? Try some of these ideas to help keep your conversation from lapsing into awkward glances and painful silences:

20 Best Self-Help Podcasts to Listen to Right Now

Takeaways

Remember, keeping a conversation going is not just about talking—it’s aboutlistening, understanding, and connecting with someone on a deeper level. By talking to people having interesting conversations, you might be surprised at the things you learn and the connections you make along the way!

5 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Okabe-Miyamoto K, Walsh LC, Ozer DJ, Lyubomirsky S.Measuring the experience of social connection within specific social interactions: The Connection During Conversations Scale (CDCS).PLoS One. 2024;19(1):e0286408. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0286408

Cribb A, Entwistle V, Mitchell P.Talking it better: conversations and normative complexity in healthcare improvement.Med Humanit. 2022;48(1):85-93. doi:10.1136/medhum-2020-012129

Reis HT, Lemay EP, Finkenauer C.Toward understanding understanding: The importance of feeling understood in relationships.Social & Personality Psych. 2017;11(3):e12308. doi:10.1111/spc3.12308

Templeton EM, Chang LJ, Reynolds EA, Cone LeBeaumont MD, Wheatley T.Long gaps between turns are awkward for strangers but not for friends.Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2023 Apr 24;378(1875):20210471. doi: 10.1098/rstb.2021.0471

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