How to Help Someone With Anxiety

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsLearn About AnxietyUnderstand the SignsAcknowledge the AnxietyHelp Make a PlanRecognize What Can HelpKnow What Is Not HelpfulSet LimitationsShare ResourcesAsk for Help

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Learn About Anxiety

Understand the Signs

Acknowledge the Anxiety

Help Make a Plan

Recognize What Can Help

Know What Is Not Helpful

Set Limitations

Share Resources

Ask for Help

Close

Anxiety is a normal part of life. A healthy dose of worry is evenconsidered protectivesince it alerts us to danger. However, if you notice that a friend, family member, or loved one is overly worried about things like daily tasks, their family’s safety, or situations others see as non-threatening, this healthy level of anxiety may have turned excessive.

Learning how to help someone with anxiety can help you feel more empowered, and help your loved one manage their symptoms more effectively.

At a GlanceIf someone you care about has anxiety, learning more about the condition can help you better understand what you can do to help. Recognizing anxiety, being willing to listen, and offering your support are all essential. However, it’s also important to know what isn’t helpful, such as telling them to just snap out of it or trying to force them to get help. Don’t try to be their therapist—your goal is to offer support, kindness, and empathy.

At a Glance

If someone you care about has anxiety, learning more about the condition can help you better understand what you can do to help. Recognizing anxiety, being willing to listen, and offering your support are all essential. However, it’s also important to know what isn’t helpful, such as telling them to just snap out of it or trying to force them to get help. Don’t try to be their therapist—your goal is to offer support, kindness, and empathy.

The Difference Between Normal Anxiety and GAD

One of the most important things you can do to help someone with anxiety is to learn more about the condition. Knowing more about anxiety can help you empathize and understand more about the ways you can help.

Anxiety disordersaffect 40 million American adults age 18 or older, or 19.1% of the population each year, making it the most common mental illness in the United States.

While anxiety is a treatable disease, many people are never treated for it. Globally, only around 27.6% of people with an anxiety disorder receive treatment.

Since anxiety is such a complex disorder, it can be difficult to define and diagnose with a single set of general criteria. Because of this, mental health professionals have broken down the disorder into several categories, including generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, andsocial anxiety disorder.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Panic Disorder

According to the National Institutes of Mental Health,panic disorderoccurs in people who have recurrent unexpected panic attacks, which are sudden periods of intense fear, anxiety, or discomfort. Some people experience a need to flee until the episode is over, which usually peaks in a matter of minutes.

Social Anxiety Disorder

9 Things to Know When Talking to Someone With Social Anxiety Disorder

Understand the Signs of Anxiety

Anxiety can manifest in many different ways and levels of severity. However, the symptoms or signs are often the same.

While not an exhaustive list, the following are some of the most common physical, mental, and behavioral:

Physical Symptoms

Mental Symptoms

Behavioral Symptoms

Helping someone with anxietystarts with understanding and recognizing the signs of excessive worry and learning how to best support them.

Friends and family often observe that their loved one needs help with anxiety, sometimes better than the loved one themselves.—GAIL SALZ, MD

Friends and family often observe that their loved one needs help with anxiety, sometimes better than the loved one themselves.

—GAIL SALZ, MD

Instead, she recommends pointing out that because you care about them, you notice they are reassurance-seeking, and it’s actually making them more anxious in the long run.

Then, Saltz says you can suggest methods of decreasing their anxiety such as meditation practice, exercise, deep breathing, or talking to a therapist.

Listen and Help Facilitate a Plan

Let them know they can come to you when they feel anxious and that you would like to be there for them.—CATHERINE RICHARDSON, LPC

Let them know they can come to you when they feel anxious and that you would like to be there for them.

—CATHERINE RICHARDSON, LPC

Together, you can come up with a plan to facilitate this process, such as meeting in person, talking on the phone, or connecting online. Richardson also recommends asking them if there is something they enjoy doing like going to the park, going to a particular restaurant, or watching a favorite movie, that you could do together.

But most importantly, she says, encourage them to seek help if you feel like they are really struggling and could benefit from therapy.

The Best Online Therapy ProgramsWe’ve tried, tested and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain.

In addition to receiving professional medical help, individuals struggling with anxiety are encouraged to seek out ways to help manage their symptoms at home. There are a variety of approaches and activities people can try as part of an overall treatment plan, including:

According to Saltz, it’s important to understand that continuing to be the one to say “don’t worry about that because…” is not actually helping, even if your friend or loved one thinks it is. “You can’t make someone stop seeking reassurance, but you can tell them it’s actually making the situation worse,” she says.

Another mistake to avoid, Richardson says, is taking on the role of a clinical professional.

Catherine Richardson, LPCEven if you have experience with anxiety, you don’t always know what’s best for someone else.

Catherine Richardson, LPC

Even if you have experience with anxiety, you don’t always know what’s best for someone else.

Instead, Richardson recommends being supportive and transparent and let your friend or loved one know you’re there for them. “You can also share what might have worked for you, but then give them space andunconditional positive regardas they navigate their own journey,” she says.

It’s also important to avoid judging and blaming a loved one when they are feeling anxious. Even when you’re the most frustrated, stop, take a breath, and step back. They need to see that you love them unconditionally, even when anxiety is high.

“You may suggest help, but at the end of the day, you cannot force help,” Saltz says.

When this happens, Saltz says you can help themfind a therapistor offer to accompany them to the session, but you can’t actually force them to go or force them to participate in a meaningful way.

Knowing your limitations also includes taking care of yourself. This is especially true if you are in a relationship with someone who is dealing with anxiety.

By talking to a mental health expert, you can better understand your role and how to best manage emotions while supporting a loved one.

Online Therapy for Anxiety

Even if your friend or loved one has a list of resources or websites dedicated to anxiety, you can still research helpful sites, books, articles, and apps to share with them. If you have access to a doctor or mental health expert familiar with treating anxiety, you can also ask them for resources.

Here are some to start:

Know When It’s Time to Ask for Help

Even though the symptoms of anxiety can feel overwhelming and permanent, anxiety is highly treatable. If someone you love is experiencing pervasive anxiety, or you have concerns that anxiety is interfering with daily life, encourage them to seek help from their primary care physician or mental health professional.

Of all the ways to help someone with anxiety, this may be the most important one.

As a friend or loved one, your role is to offer support, not treatment.

Offer to assist with locating a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist that treats anxiety. Talk to them aboutonlineand in-person therapy options.

If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

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8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute of Mental Health.Any anxiety disorder.Alonso J, Liu Z, Evans-Lacko S, et al.Treatment gap for anxiety disorders is global: Results of the World Mental Health Surveys in 21 countries.Depress Anxiety. 2018;35(3):195-208. doi:10.1002/da.22711National Institute of Mental Health.Anxiety Disorders. Last revised July 2018.Anxiety and Depression Association of America.Social anxiety disorder.American Psychiatric Association (APA).Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th ed, text revision. Washington, D.C.; 2022.Aylett E, Small N, Bower P.Exercise in the treatment of clinical anxiety in general practice - a systematic review and meta-analysis.BMC Health Serv Res. 2018;18(1):559. doi:10.1186/s12913-018-3313-5Magnon V, Dutheil F, Vallet GT.Benefits from one session of deep and slow breathing on vagal tone and anxiety in young and older adults.Sci Rep. 2021;11(1):19267. doi:10.1038/s41598-021-98736-9Chellappa SL, Aeschbach D.Sleep and anxiety: From mechanisms to interventions.Sleep Med Rev. 2022;61:101583. doi:10.1016/j.smrv.2021.101583

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute of Mental Health.Any anxiety disorder.Alonso J, Liu Z, Evans-Lacko S, et al.Treatment gap for anxiety disorders is global: Results of the World Mental Health Surveys in 21 countries.Depress Anxiety. 2018;35(3):195-208. doi:10.1002/da.22711National Institute of Mental Health.Anxiety Disorders. Last revised July 2018.Anxiety and Depression Association of America.Social anxiety disorder.American Psychiatric Association (APA).Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th ed, text revision. Washington, D.C.; 2022.Aylett E, Small N, Bower P.Exercise in the treatment of clinical anxiety in general practice - a systematic review and meta-analysis.BMC Health Serv Res. 2018;18(1):559. doi:10.1186/s12913-018-3313-5Magnon V, Dutheil F, Vallet GT.Benefits from one session of deep and slow breathing on vagal tone and anxiety in young and older adults.Sci Rep. 2021;11(1):19267. doi:10.1038/s41598-021-98736-9Chellappa SL, Aeschbach D.Sleep and anxiety: From mechanisms to interventions.Sleep Med Rev. 2022;61:101583. doi:10.1016/j.smrv.2021.101583

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

National Institute of Mental Health.Any anxiety disorder.Alonso J, Liu Z, Evans-Lacko S, et al.Treatment gap for anxiety disorders is global: Results of the World Mental Health Surveys in 21 countries.Depress Anxiety. 2018;35(3):195-208. doi:10.1002/da.22711National Institute of Mental Health.Anxiety Disorders. Last revised July 2018.Anxiety and Depression Association of America.Social anxiety disorder.American Psychiatric Association (APA).Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th ed, text revision. Washington, D.C.; 2022.Aylett E, Small N, Bower P.Exercise in the treatment of clinical anxiety in general practice - a systematic review and meta-analysis.BMC Health Serv Res. 2018;18(1):559. doi:10.1186/s12913-018-3313-5Magnon V, Dutheil F, Vallet GT.Benefits from one session of deep and slow breathing on vagal tone and anxiety in young and older adults.Sci Rep. 2021;11(1):19267. doi:10.1038/s41598-021-98736-9Chellappa SL, Aeschbach D.Sleep and anxiety: From mechanisms to interventions.Sleep Med Rev. 2022;61:101583. doi:10.1016/j.smrv.2021.101583

National Institute of Mental Health.Any anxiety disorder.

Alonso J, Liu Z, Evans-Lacko S, et al.Treatment gap for anxiety disorders is global: Results of the World Mental Health Surveys in 21 countries.Depress Anxiety. 2018;35(3):195-208. doi:10.1002/da.22711

National Institute of Mental Health.Anxiety Disorders. Last revised July 2018.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America.Social anxiety disorder.

American Psychiatric Association (APA).Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th ed, text revision. Washington, D.C.; 2022.

Aylett E, Small N, Bower P.Exercise in the treatment of clinical anxiety in general practice - a systematic review and meta-analysis.BMC Health Serv Res. 2018;18(1):559. doi:10.1186/s12913-018-3313-5

Magnon V, Dutheil F, Vallet GT.Benefits from one session of deep and slow breathing on vagal tone and anxiety in young and older adults.Sci Rep. 2021;11(1):19267. doi:10.1038/s41598-021-98736-9

Chellappa SL, Aeschbach D.Sleep and anxiety: From mechanisms to interventions.Sleep Med Rev. 2022;61:101583. doi:10.1016/j.smrv.2021.101583

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