How To Help Someone With A Drinking Problem

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsHow to Get Them to StopAlcohol Addiction HelpTalking About Their DrinkingConsider the CRAFT MethodAvoid CodependencyFrequently Asked Questions

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

How to Get Them to Stop

Alcohol Addiction Help

Talking About Their Drinking

Consider the CRAFT Method

Avoid Codependency

Frequently Asked Questions

Helping someone you know with a drinking problem can be tough. Maybe they’ve beendrinking more than usual, or perhaps it’s been an ongoing issue for a while now. It’s a situation where you want to be supportive but don’t want to overstep and risk making things worse.

Alcohol use disorder (AUD)affects both the individual with the condition as well as others in their life, including their loved ones and families. Alcohol use can take a toll on the family’s dynamic, mental and physical health, finances, and overall stability.

It can be difficult to know how to help someone with a drinking problem. But knowing how to talk to someone about their drinking is often a good place to start. Learning more about the alcohol addiction help that is available can give you the resources you need to encourage them to seek appropriate treatment for their condition.

At a GlanceTo help someone stop drinking, focus on being supportive without being judgmental. Talk to them honestly about your concerns, but don’t be confrontational. You can’t force them to get help, but you can offer to help them find professional resources, including a doctor who can make recommendations about therapy and medications. You can also help them find support groups and other sobriety resources. If they aren’t ready or are unwilling to seek help, consider the CRAFT method to learn more about how to care for yourself while encouraging them to seek treatment. It may take time and patience, but your continued support increases the likelihood that they will eventually be able to successfully stop drinking.

At a Glance

To help someone stop drinking, focus on being supportive without being judgmental. Talk to them honestly about your concerns, but don’t be confrontational. You can’t force them to get help, but you can offer to help them find professional resources, including a doctor who can make recommendations about therapy and medications. You can also help them find support groups and other sobriety resources. If they aren’t ready or are unwilling to seek help, consider the CRAFT method to learn more about how to care for yourself while encouraging them to seek treatment. It may take time and patience, but your continued support increases the likelihood that they will eventually be able to successfully stop drinking.

How to Help Someone Stop Drinking

Personal, social, and even legal problems that would cause most people to conclude that their drinking should be curtailed or eliminated don’t typically affect people with an alcohol use disorder in the same way.

It’s important to understand that this is not a weakness. The person with the drinking problem is psychologically and physiologicallyaddicted to alcoholand requires professional help.

The challenge to this is that many people with an alcohol use disorder are indenial that there is a problem. No matter how obvious the problem seems to others, the alcohol-dependent person may loudly deny that drinking is the cause of their troubles and may blame the circumstances or people around them instead.

When people ask how to help someone stop drinking, the answer they usually receive is, “Unfortunately, there is not much anyone can do until the person with an alcohol use disorder admits they have a problem.”

While it is true that your loved one needs to actively seeksobrietyand want to change, you don’t have to sit back and watch them self-destruct, hoping and praying that a light bulb goes off in their head. There are several things you can do to intervene, show your concern and support for your loved one, and protect yourself from getting too wrapped up in their addiction.

Alcohol Addiction Help and Resources

The first step for family members and loved ones of a problem drinker is to inform themselves about AUD.This helps you understand your loved one’s behavior, and it helps you stop blaming them.

Above all, getting informed helps you see that your loved one is sick and suffering, not trying to hurt you.

As a family member, you can attend Al-Anon meetings orjoin an online groupto learn more about thedisease of alcoholismas well as the emotional and psychological toll it is taking on you. In Al-Anon, you learnhow to detachfrom the person’sproblems—not necessarily to detach from theperson. You will likely hear your own story in the stories of those who share with the group, creating a sense of solidarity and support.

You will also learn more about the unhealthy roles you may be playing in the life of the person with an alcohol use disorder. This can help you better determine whether or not your actions may actually beenabling them to continue in their behaviorwithout you realizing it.

RecapBy learning more about alcohol use disorder, you can gain greater insight into the factors that play a role in your loved one’s drinking. This knowledge can also help you better understand how to encourage them to get help and how to strengthen your own coping skills.

Recap

By learning more about alcohol use disorder, you can gain greater insight into the factors that play a role in your loved one’s drinking. This knowledge can also help you better understand how to encourage them to get help and how to strengthen your own coping skills.

Are You Enabling Your Loved One?

How to Talk to Someone About Their Drinking

This is a difficult conversation. Plan what you’re going to say ahead of time. Wait until your loved one is sober and relatively emotionally stable. Make sure you are also feeling calm, as it is important that your loved one doesn’t feel attacked.Avoid accusatory language such as, “You’d better get help or else.”

During this first discussion, it’s important to show how much you care about your loved one.

Be genuine and honest about your concerns, including how their drinking is affecting their health and the family as a whole. You can mention a particular problem that is arising from drinking, such as financial or relationship troubles.

Let your family member know you want to support them in stopping. Offer to help them find a treatment program, such as a12-step programor a rehab facility, and perhaps to take over some of their responsibilities at home while they are taking time out for recovery.

RecapDenial and pushback are common. While they might still resist getting treatment, you might discuss a timeframe and when you can expect changed behavior.

Denial and pushback are common. While they might still resist getting treatment, you might discuss a timeframe and when you can expect changed behavior.

Don’t be surprised if your first attempt to talk to your loved one about their drinking is not effective. Even when your loved one is committed to changing, it can take several rounds of treatment before they truly stop. After the first attempt, the next step you might take is anintervention.

Rather than a traditional confrontational intervention as depicted in movies, many addiction experts are now recommendingcommunity reinforcement and family training (CRAFT)as the preferred way to get a loved one help.

Studies show that CRAFT interventions have a success rate ranging from 64% to 74% when it comes to getting a loved one with a substance use disorder into treatment.

CRAFT provides concerned significant others with tools to:

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Understanding Codependency

After you’ve taken all these measures, remember that you cannot force your loved one into treatment. They have to make that decision themselves. All you can do is present options, offer support, and follow through with the consequences you presented.

You cannot make them change. The only person you control in this life is you.

It’s common to become overly focused on the drinker’s actions and behavior and obsessively worried, which takes the focus off your own life. This is defined asco-dependency, and it is destructive to your own mental and emotional health.A core tenet of Al-Anon is to stop trying to change your loved one and instead turn the focus back on yourself, the only one you can truly change.

How to Stop Being Codependent

Takeaways

Even if your loved one does enter treatment and recovery, there will likely be many bumps along the way. Without alcohol as a coping mechanism, deeper issues tend to rise to the surface and must be dealt with.

Your loved one will need to continue practicing sobriety, and the changes they go through will affect you in big and small ways. It’s helpful to continue attending Al-Anon meetings, to learn to differentiate between your issues and your loved one’s issues, and take responsibility only for your own. And don’t forget to practice self-care—your physical and mental health matter, too.

If you or a loved one are struggling with substance use or addiction, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you or a loved one are struggling with substance use or addiction, contact theSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helplineat1-800-662-4357for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

Encourage them to talk to a professional about their drinking. Alcohol use disorder is a complex condition and quitting can be difficult, but effective treatments are available that can help, includingmedications. Offer to help them find a doctor, therapist, or treatment center so they can talk to someone about their treatment options.Learn More:Effective Treatments for Alcohol Use Disorders

Encourage them to talk to a professional about their drinking. Alcohol use disorder is a complex condition and quitting can be difficult, but effective treatments are available that can help, includingmedications. Offer to help them find a doctor, therapist, or treatment center so they can talk to someone about their treatment options.

Learn More:Effective Treatments for Alcohol Use Disorders

Learn More:How to Find a Support Group?

8 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.Treatment for alcohol problems: Finding and getting help.Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Alcohol and drug addiction happens in the best of families.American Society of Addiction Medicine.Definition of addiction.Lee K.An underappreciated intervention.Monitor on Psychology. 2017;48(11):18.Hellum R, Nielsen AS, Bischof G, et al.Community reinforcement and family training (CRAFT) - design of a cluster randomized controlled trial comparing individual, group and self-help interventions.BMC Public Health. 2019;19(1):307. doi:10.1186/s12889-019-6632-5Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.What is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families.Salonia G, Mahajan R, Mahajan NS.Codependency and coping strategies in the spouses of substance abusers.Scholars J App Med Sci. 2021;9(7):1130-1138. doi:10.36347/sjams.2021.v09i07.002National Institute on Aging.How to help someone you know with a drinking problem.

8 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.Treatment for alcohol problems: Finding and getting help.Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Alcohol and drug addiction happens in the best of families.American Society of Addiction Medicine.Definition of addiction.Lee K.An underappreciated intervention.Monitor on Psychology. 2017;48(11):18.Hellum R, Nielsen AS, Bischof G, et al.Community reinforcement and family training (CRAFT) - design of a cluster randomized controlled trial comparing individual, group and self-help interventions.BMC Public Health. 2019;19(1):307. doi:10.1186/s12889-019-6632-5Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.What is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families.Salonia G, Mahajan R, Mahajan NS.Codependency and coping strategies in the spouses of substance abusers.Scholars J App Med Sci. 2021;9(7):1130-1138. doi:10.36347/sjams.2021.v09i07.002National Institute on Aging.How to help someone you know with a drinking problem.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.Treatment for alcohol problems: Finding and getting help.Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Alcohol and drug addiction happens in the best of families.American Society of Addiction Medicine.Definition of addiction.Lee K.An underappreciated intervention.Monitor on Psychology. 2017;48(11):18.Hellum R, Nielsen AS, Bischof G, et al.Community reinforcement and family training (CRAFT) - design of a cluster randomized controlled trial comparing individual, group and self-help interventions.BMC Public Health. 2019;19(1):307. doi:10.1186/s12889-019-6632-5Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.What is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families.Salonia G, Mahajan R, Mahajan NS.Codependency and coping strategies in the spouses of substance abusers.Scholars J App Med Sci. 2021;9(7):1130-1138. doi:10.36347/sjams.2021.v09i07.002National Institute on Aging.How to help someone you know with a drinking problem.

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.Treatment for alcohol problems: Finding and getting help.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Alcohol and drug addiction happens in the best of families.

American Society of Addiction Medicine.Definition of addiction.

Lee K.An underappreciated intervention.Monitor on Psychology. 2017;48(11):18.

Hellum R, Nielsen AS, Bischof G, et al.Community reinforcement and family training (CRAFT) - design of a cluster randomized controlled trial comparing individual, group and self-help interventions.BMC Public Health. 2019;19(1):307. doi:10.1186/s12889-019-6632-5

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.What is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families.

Salonia G, Mahajan R, Mahajan NS.Codependency and coping strategies in the spouses of substance abusers.Scholars J App Med Sci. 2021;9(7):1130-1138. doi:10.36347/sjams.2021.v09i07.002

National Institute on Aging.How to help someone you know with a drinking problem.

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