How to Heal From Sexual Harassment at Work

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsThe Law and Sexual HarassmentImpact on VictimsHow to HealSupporting Someone After Harassment

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

The Law and Sexual Harassment

Impact on Victims

How to Heal

Supporting Someone After Harassment

Close

At a GlanceIf you have experienced sexual harassment at work, there are a number of things you can do to heal from the experience. It’s important to recognize your rights, acknowledge what happened, and understand the potential mental health effects. Remember that it wasn’t your fault; practicing good self-care and giving yourself time to process and heal is essential. Keep reading to learn more about what you can do to deal with sexual harassment in the workplace and heal from such difficult experiences.

At a Glance

If you have experienced sexual harassment at work, there are a number of things you can do to heal from the experience. It’s important to recognize your rights, acknowledge what happened, and understand the potential mental health effects. Remember that it wasn’t your fault; practicing good self-care and giving yourself time to process and heal is essential. Keep reading to learn more about what you can do to deal with sexual harassment in the workplace and heal from such difficult experiences.

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It also is against the law to make unwelcome sexual advances, request sexual favors, touch someone inappropriately, make sexual remarks, engage in sexual bullying, and share sexually-offensive jokes. Basically, anything sexual in nature that creates a hostile work environment is considered sexual harassment.

While the law does not usually apply to isolated incidents of teasing or offhand remarks, it becomes harassment when it creates a toxic work environment or when it results in adverse employment conditions such as being fired or reprimanded due to sexual harassment.

How to Deal with Sexual HarassmentIt is vital to take steps to address the harassment. This may involve reporting the issue to your employer,filing an official complaintwith the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), pursuing legal action, or, if necessary, leaving the workplace.

How to Deal with Sexual Harassment

It is vital to take steps to address the harassment. This may involve reporting the issue to your employer,filing an official complaintwith the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), pursuing legal action, or, if necessary, leaving the workplace.

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How Sexual Harassment Affects Victims

Your response can be so significant that you may even have trouble functioning from day to day. It also is not uncommon for victims of sexual harassment to have difficulty sleeping,getting up in the morning, eating, exercising, or doing anything that they used to consider fun.

Other symptoms that sexual harassment can lead to might include headaches, difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, stomach issues, and elevated blood pressure.

You might also feel betrayed, angry, powerless, hopeless, and out of control. And in extreme cases, victims may experience depression,anxiety, and thoughts of suicide.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

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Tips on Healing From Sexual Harassment

Moving on after being sexually harassed at work can seem like a daunting task. You may feel stuck or hopeless about your situation. Self-care is essential. Joining a support group can also be very helpful, and you may benefit from speaking to a mental health professional. They can help you make sense of your experience,heal from it, and move on.

Here are some steps every victim must take in order to heal from sexual harassment.

Accept What Happened

What this means is tovalidateyour experience. Do not minimize what happened or make excuses for the perpetrator. It is also important to allow yourself to experience your emotions. Do not bottle up the hurt and anger you are feeling.

Find healthy ways to express these feelings. Some options includestress-reducing activitiessuch as:MeditationYogaDeep breathingGuided imageryProgressive muscle relaxation

Find healthy ways to express these feelings. Some options includestress-reducing activitiessuch as:

Talk to Someone About the Harassment

It always helps to talk with a safe person. Try to find someone who will respect your feelings and your perspective. Don’t share your thoughts and feelings with someone who is going to tell you that you are overreacting or being emotional.

If you do not have anyone to talk with about your experience, consider joining a support group or starting one of your own.

Journal About Your Experience

Describehow sexual harassment affected you. Explore the different emotions you are feeling. Sometimes it is helpful to include in your journal a letter to the person who harassed you. Say all the things you wish you would have said, but didn’t.

It can be very healing to get all of that out of your system.Journalingalso may help you make sense of what happened to you.And it is a safe place to say whatever is on your mind without trying to filter anything out.

Stop Blaming Yourself

What happened to you was not your fault. You did not cause it and you could not control the other person. Remind yourself too that you have nothing to be ashamed of and you should not feel guilty. Blaming yourself will slow your healing.

The only guilty person is the perpetrator. They made a choice to sexually harass you. The only choice you have in the matter is how you are going to deal with what happened to you.

Remember, you have complete control over your response and where you go from here. Focus on that fact and let it empower you.

Bring Closure to Your Experience

An important part of the healing process is putting the past behind you and detaching from the trauma you experienced. Sometimes this means changing jobs or careers.

It also could mean discovering more about yourself. Too many times, a person’s identity is tied to their work. Instead, rediscover what makes youyou.

Use the Experience to Help Others

The key is taking a negative experience and turning it into something positive. Doing so helps build yourresiliency.

Talk to a Counselor or Therapist

If you find it difficult to move on after your experience, you may benefit from seeing a counselor who specializes in dealing with workplace sexual harassment. Counselors that specialize insexual assaultor abuse may also be helpful.

Additionally, if you have been harassed at work or school, advocates advise not using your school or employer’s mental health staff. Sometimes the lines of confidentiality get blurred and the counselor will share your information about you to others in the organization. In extreme cases, they may even try to protect the organization from liability.

It is generally best to find a counselor outside of where the sexual harassment occurred. Not only is it an added protection for your privacy, but you may find it easier to open up to someone that is not associated with the organization where the harassment occurred.

Get Help NowWe’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

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We’ve tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of thebest online therapy programsincluding Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Tips for Friends of Sexual Harassment Victims

If you have a friend or family member who is dealing with the aftermath of sexual harassment, you may want to help, but just don’t know where to start. Simply being there to listen and be supportive is often all that is required.

You do not need to fix things for your friend, nor do you need to offer sage advice. Your most important role is to be patient with what they are going through and support them where you can.

They need to know that they are safe with you and that you believe them. You also could remind them that the harassment was not their fault.

Other ways that you can help support a friend as they deal with sexual harassment include:

Don’t Blame or Judge

Remember not to judge them. Try to understand their feelings and offer support. Be there for them when you can and encourage them to talk to others as well.

Stay Connected

Encourage them to stay connected. The worst thing your friend can do is become isolated or spend a lot of time alone. While it is common for any victim of harassment to withdraw from others, this is not helpful to their healing. Nudge them to stay connected to you and other people.

Respect Their Boundaries

While it is important to stay in touch, you also need to make sure that your observe theirboundaries. Give them space if they need it. Remember, their boundaries were violated when they were sexually harassed so they will likely fight pretty hard to develop new ones.

Allow them the freedom to do that. Do not smother them with attention or help.

Realize That Healing Takes Time

Allow them to heal at their own pace. Do not rush them or try to fix things. Everyone heals at different rates. Try to be patient if they are taking longer to get over their experience than you think they should.

Be Supportive

Support their decisions even if you do not agree with them. It is very important that your friend makes their own decisions. They need the space and the control takes back their life on their terms. While it is fine to make suggestions, do not try to control them or tell them what to do.

Keep in Mind

Dealing with the trauma of sexual harassment is something that should not be put off or ignored. It is important that youexplore your underlying feelingsand find healthy ways of dealing with these emotions. Too many times people try to numb their feelings with other things like busy work or food.

Some will even resort to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain and forget for a period of time. But these are not healthy ways of coping. If you find that you cannotdevelop good coping skillson your own, be sure to ask your doctor for recommendations for a reputable counselor. Remember, it is not a sign of weakness to get counseling. In fact, it is a sign of wisdom and courage.

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7 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.Sexual harassment.Thurston RC, Chang Y, Matthews KA, Von känel R, Koenen K.Association of sexual harassment and sexual assault with midlife women’s mental and physical health.JAMA Intern Med. 2019;179(1):48-53. doi:10.1001/jamainternmed.2018.4886Dobbin F, Kalev A.The promise and peril of sexual harassment programs.Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2019;116(25):12255-12260. doi:10.1073/pnas.1818477116Belleville G, Dubé-frenette M, Rousseau A.Efficacy of imagery rehearsal therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy in sexual assault victims with posttraumatic stress disorder: A randomized controlled trial.J Trauma Stress. 2018;31(4):591-601.Gallegos AM, Crean HF, Pigeon WR, Heffner KL.Meditation and yoga for posttraumatic stress disorder: A meta-analytic review of randomized controlled trials.Clin Psychol Rev. 2017;58:115-124. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2017.10.004Smyth JM, Johnson JA, Auer BJ, Lehman E, Talamo G, Sciamanna CN.Online positive affect journaling in the improvement of mental distress and well-being in general medical patients with elevated anxiety symptoms: A preliminary randomized controlled trial. JMIR Ment Health. 2018;5(4):e11290. doi:10.2196/11290Kirkner A, Lorenz K, Ullman SE.Recommendations for responding to survivors of sexual assault: A qualitative study of survivors and support providers.J Interpers Violence. 2017;886260517739285. doi:10.1177/0886260517739285

7 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.Sexual harassment.Thurston RC, Chang Y, Matthews KA, Von känel R, Koenen K.Association of sexual harassment and sexual assault with midlife women’s mental and physical health.JAMA Intern Med. 2019;179(1):48-53. doi:10.1001/jamainternmed.2018.4886Dobbin F, Kalev A.The promise and peril of sexual harassment programs.Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2019;116(25):12255-12260. doi:10.1073/pnas.1818477116Belleville G, Dubé-frenette M, Rousseau A.Efficacy of imagery rehearsal therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy in sexual assault victims with posttraumatic stress disorder: A randomized controlled trial.J Trauma Stress. 2018;31(4):591-601.Gallegos AM, Crean HF, Pigeon WR, Heffner KL.Meditation and yoga for posttraumatic stress disorder: A meta-analytic review of randomized controlled trials.Clin Psychol Rev. 2017;58:115-124. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2017.10.004Smyth JM, Johnson JA, Auer BJ, Lehman E, Talamo G, Sciamanna CN.Online positive affect journaling in the improvement of mental distress and well-being in general medical patients with elevated anxiety symptoms: A preliminary randomized controlled trial. JMIR Ment Health. 2018;5(4):e11290. doi:10.2196/11290Kirkner A, Lorenz K, Ullman SE.Recommendations for responding to survivors of sexual assault: A qualitative study of survivors and support providers.J Interpers Violence. 2017;886260517739285. doi:10.1177/0886260517739285

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.Sexual harassment.Thurston RC, Chang Y, Matthews KA, Von känel R, Koenen K.Association of sexual harassment and sexual assault with midlife women’s mental and physical health.JAMA Intern Med. 2019;179(1):48-53. doi:10.1001/jamainternmed.2018.4886Dobbin F, Kalev A.The promise and peril of sexual harassment programs.Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2019;116(25):12255-12260. doi:10.1073/pnas.1818477116Belleville G, Dubé-frenette M, Rousseau A.Efficacy of imagery rehearsal therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy in sexual assault victims with posttraumatic stress disorder: A randomized controlled trial.J Trauma Stress. 2018;31(4):591-601.Gallegos AM, Crean HF, Pigeon WR, Heffner KL.Meditation and yoga for posttraumatic stress disorder: A meta-analytic review of randomized controlled trials.Clin Psychol Rev. 2017;58:115-124. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2017.10.004Smyth JM, Johnson JA, Auer BJ, Lehman E, Talamo G, Sciamanna CN.Online positive affect journaling in the improvement of mental distress and well-being in general medical patients with elevated anxiety symptoms: A preliminary randomized controlled trial. JMIR Ment Health. 2018;5(4):e11290. doi:10.2196/11290Kirkner A, Lorenz K, Ullman SE.Recommendations for responding to survivors of sexual assault: A qualitative study of survivors and support providers.J Interpers Violence. 2017;886260517739285. doi:10.1177/0886260517739285

U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.Sexual harassment.

Thurston RC, Chang Y, Matthews KA, Von känel R, Koenen K.Association of sexual harassment and sexual assault with midlife women’s mental and physical health.JAMA Intern Med. 2019;179(1):48-53. doi:10.1001/jamainternmed.2018.4886

Dobbin F, Kalev A.The promise and peril of sexual harassment programs.Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2019;116(25):12255-12260. doi:10.1073/pnas.1818477116

Belleville G, Dubé-frenette M, Rousseau A.Efficacy of imagery rehearsal therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy in sexual assault victims with posttraumatic stress disorder: A randomized controlled trial.J Trauma Stress. 2018;31(4):591-601.

Gallegos AM, Crean HF, Pigeon WR, Heffner KL.Meditation and yoga for posttraumatic stress disorder: A meta-analytic review of randomized controlled trials.Clin Psychol Rev. 2017;58:115-124. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2017.10.004

Smyth JM, Johnson JA, Auer BJ, Lehman E, Talamo G, Sciamanna CN.Online positive affect journaling in the improvement of mental distress and well-being in general medical patients with elevated anxiety symptoms: A preliminary randomized controlled trial. JMIR Ment Health. 2018;5(4):e11290. doi:10.2196/11290

Kirkner A, Lorenz K, Ullman SE.Recommendations for responding to survivors of sexual assault: A qualitative study of survivors and support providers.J Interpers Violence. 2017;886260517739285. doi:10.1177/0886260517739285

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