How to Give Feedback Effectively and Respectfully

Table of ContentsView AllTable of ContentsTypes of FeedbackThe Five Rules of Effective FeedbackExamples of Positive and Negative FeedbackHow to Give and Recieve FeedbackRecognizing Why Feedback Matters

Table of ContentsView All

View All

Table of Contents

Types of Feedback

The Five Rules of Effective Feedback

Examples of Positive and Negative Feedback

How to Give and Recieve Feedback

Recognizing Why Feedback Matters

Close

Sometimes giving feedback can be even more stressful than receiving it. After all, we want our words to be helpful and constructive, but we also don’t want to make anyone feel bad.

That’s why learning how to give helpful feedback is so important.

According toJamie Levin, a strategic communications consultant, feedback can help foster growth, contribute to effective communication, resolve conflicts, and improve motivation. “Of course, these benefits are often only noticed if the parties involved are open to giving and receiving feedback,” she explains.

The good news is that you can give your honest opinions in a way that doesn’t make people feel bitter, angry, or downright unappreciated.

At a GlanceFeedback is crucial not only for the group’s success but also for personal growth. Great feedback can help people become even better at what they do. It can also foster greater trust and communication when it is delivered correctly.Choose the right timeBe clear and specificFocus on actions, not traitsTake a balanced approachEncourage self-reflectionFeedback is crucial not only for the group’s success but also for personal growth. Great feedback can help people become even better at what they do. It can also foster greater trust and communication when these rules are followed. You can also think about these rules when you are on the receiving end of feedback.

At a Glance

Feedback is crucial not only for the group’s success but also for personal growth. Great feedback can help people become even better at what they do. It can also foster greater trust and communication when it is delivered correctly.Choose the right timeBe clear and specificFocus on actions, not traitsTake a balanced approachEncourage self-reflectionFeedback is crucial not only for the group’s success but also for personal growth. Great feedback can help people become even better at what they do. It can also foster greater trust and communication when these rules are followed. You can also think about these rules when you are on the receiving end of feedback.

Feedback is crucial not only for the group’s success but also for personal growth. Great feedback can help people become even better at what they do. It can also foster greater trust and communication when it is delivered correctly.

Feedback is crucial not only for the group’s success but also for personal growth. Great feedback can help people become even better at what they do. It can also foster greater trust and communication when these rules are followed. You can also think about these rules when you are on the receiving end of feedback.

The type of feedback that we give often depends on our goals and the situation. Giving the wrong type of feedback at the wrong time can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or conflict.

Whether you are giving quick, informal feedback to a friend or partner, formative feedback to a coworker, or formal feedback to an employee, you can follow these five rules for making your advice as effective as possible.

Some common types of feedback that you might give include:

Informal Feedback

Informal feedback is the type of feedback you probably give the most—sometimes without even thinking about it. It tends to happen naturally. It’s often something people initiate or ask for on their own (like asking your co-worker, “How does this look?” or “Does this sound right to you?").

While informal feedback can be helpful, it can also be hurtful or harmful if it comes across asunsolicited advice. Telling a colleague what you really thought about their presentation (when they didn’t ask for your opinion) is a good example.

Formative Feedback

Formative feedback, often referred to as constructive feedback, is designed to help us gain skills and improve our work. It involves pointing out areas where we can improve, which is super important when we are learning a new skill.

It’s not necessarily about saying that there is anything wrong with what we’ve done. Instead, it is about pointing out some ways we might make it even better.

—JAMIE LEVIN, STRATEGIC COMMUNICATIONS CONSULTANT

Formal (or Performance) Feedback

Formal feedback is structured and used to assess how we perform in a specific role. Performance reviews and educational assessments are a few examples. Formal feedback often points out areas that could be improved, but it also highlights our strengths.

Performance feedback can help measure our progress and recognize how much we’ve have grown in our roles. It can also be helpful when it comes to achieving specific performance goals.

It’s important to remember that each kind of feedback serves a different purpose. Before choosing which type to use, you need to consider why you offer feedback, the goals you are trying to achieve, and the recipient’s needs.

Generally speaking, there’s no universally agreed-upon set of rules for how and when to give feedback (although your workplace or organization might provide some specific guidelines to follow).

Levin says that how people perceive your feedback depends on several factors, including how you speak, the communication channel you use, whether there is an audience, and the context. Whether or not the other person is open to hearing what you have to say is also a critical factor.

Some basic recommendations that can help make sure your feedback is helpful and not hurtful.

Choose the Right Time

Waiting too long might make your feedback less meaningful. If someone has already moved on to a completely different project, it’s understandable that your words might carry less weight.

Most importantly, make sure that the feedback recipient knows they are going to be getting feedback. Don’t blindside people with surprise performance reviews.

Be Clear and Specific

Be sure to utilizenon-verbal communicationthat reinforces what you are saying. Frowning when you’re complimenting the other person might cause mixed signals.

Focus on Actions, Not Personality Traits

Feedback should focus on a person’s specific behaviors and actions, not on their traits and characteristics. Attributing performance to a person’s character can lead to feelings of anger or defensiveness, particularly when feedback centers on addressing problems in performance.

For example, instead of saying someone is “unmotivated” or that they “lack commitment,” you might say something like, “I noticed that you seem to be struggling to feel excited about this project” or “It appears that you missed your last three deadlines.”

Focusing on behavior, rather than attributing it to a person’s innate characteristics, can also help foster more of agrowth mindset vs. a fixed one.

Take a Balanced Approach

Look for Ways to Encourage Self-Reflection

Feedback shouldn’t just be a list of pluses and minuses. Deliver it in a way that encourages people toreflect on how they are doing, what they’ve done well, and ways that they might be able to improve.

How do you do this? Getting the other person involved is a great way to start. When noting things that might need improvement or areas that didn’t meet expectations, you might ask, “What are some things you might do differently next time?” or “Do you have any ideas for how to change this?”

How you phrase your feedback can also make a big difference in how other people feel about it.

Positive Feedback Sounds Like…

Positive feedback is often easier to deliver. After all, most people welcome some kind words and compliments on a job well done.

For example, you might want to deliver positive feedback to an employee has shown consistently great performance. You might say something like, “I really appreciate that you took the initiative to finish the project in a timely manner. You’re hard work and commitment definitely paid off!”

Negative Feedback Sounds Like…

When you need to call out shortcomings, you might say, “It’s clear you put a lot of effort into the project, but a few areas need to be corrected. Let’s talk about what we can do to help you make these improvements.”

Using “I feel” statementswhen delivering negative feedback can also be helpful. Instead of phrasing feedback like, “You’re always late,” you might try phrasing it differently, such as, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been late several times this month. This has created some disruptions for other people in the office, so it’s really important to be on time and respect other people’s schedules.”

Delivering negative feedback isn’t easy, but sometimes there’s just no getting around it. Just remember that you can get your message across without making someone feel bad. A little tact and empathy can ensure that people get the message withoutfeeling defensiveor upset.

When You’re Giving Feedback

Know Your Audience

Levin suggests thinking about the person who will be receiving your feedback. For example, if they prefer one-on-one communication, they might feel embarrassed or defensive if you give your feedback during a team meeting.

“Not only have you unintentionally made them feel this way, they may also be completely closed off to whatever feedback you provide as they may be so focused on how they feel rather than what you are saying,” Levin says.

Give Feedback Privately

Suggest Solutions

Feedback should be more than a laundry list of problems. When there are shortcomings, try to be supportive and suggest solutions that can help the individual succeed in the future.

Ask Questions That Encourage Reflection

This approach can reinforce the positives while allowing the other person to think about improving things. You might ask the other person what they think went well and what they might do differently in the future.

When You’re Receiving Feedback

Try to Be Open-Minded

It isn’t always easy to hear what other people say about your work. Stayopen-mindedand look at it as an opportunity to hone your skills.

Clarify Any Misunderstandings

Don’t be afraid to ask questions if the feedback is unclear or confusing. Focus on being specific to ensure you understand what the reviewer or commenter is trying to convey.

Show Appreciation

Even if the feedback isn’t exactly what you want to hear, thank the other person for their time and thoughts. It might not be easy, but it’s a great way to show that you are willing to listen.

Give Yourself Time to Reflect

Avoid reacting immediately (like firing off an angry email to a co-worker or manager). Instead, give yourself time to sit with the feedback and decide what it means and how you might want to respond. You’llfeel less emotionaland defensive if you stop and take some time to reflect.

Try to Stay Positive

The fact is that getting negative feedback isn’t any fun. Try to remember that feedback isn’t meant to be a personal attack. Even though you might feel bad, remember that it’s something that can help you learn and grow.

It can also help you better understand how others perceive and relate to your work.

Continuous improvement is important to many of us, and the perspective of others is extremely valuable, even in instances when someone may not agree with it. Feedback provides perspective.—JAMIE LEVIN, STRATEGIC COMMUNICATIONS CONSULTANT

Continuous improvement is important to many of us, and the perspective of others is extremely valuable, even in instances when someone may not agree with it. Feedback provides perspective.

Giving and receiving feedback can sometimes be challenging, especially since you don’t want to make anyone feel bad. It’s a skill worth working on, so be willing to accept some feedback on how you give it!

Honest, well-delivered feedback can be an essential communication tool that helps people learn, grow, and learn more about themselves. Practicing feedback skills—such as being specific, action-focused, and balanced—can help ensure that people welcome what you have to say.

Why Communication In Relationships Is So Important

4 SourcesVerywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Jug R, Jiang XS, Bean SM.Giving and receiving effective feedback: A review article and how-to guide.Arch Pathol Lab Med. 2019;143(2):244-250. doi:10.5858/arpa.2018-0058-RAHardavella G, Aamli-Gaagnat A, Saad N, Rousalova I, Sreter KB.How to give and receive feedback effectively.Breathe (Sheff). 2017;13(4):327-333. doi:10.1183/20734735.009917Burgess A, van Diggele C, Roberts C, Mellis C.Feedback in the clinical setting.BMC Med Educ. 2020;20(Suppl 2):460. doi:10.1186/s12909-020-02280-5Ramani S, Krackov SK.Twelve tips for giving feedback effectively in the clinical environment.Med Teach. 2012;34(10):787-791. doi:10.3109/0142159X.2012.684916

4 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.Jug R, Jiang XS, Bean SM.Giving and receiving effective feedback: A review article and how-to guide.Arch Pathol Lab Med. 2019;143(2):244-250. doi:10.5858/arpa.2018-0058-RAHardavella G, Aamli-Gaagnat A, Saad N, Rousalova I, Sreter KB.How to give and receive feedback effectively.Breathe (Sheff). 2017;13(4):327-333. doi:10.1183/20734735.009917Burgess A, van Diggele C, Roberts C, Mellis C.Feedback in the clinical setting.BMC Med Educ. 2020;20(Suppl 2):460. doi:10.1186/s12909-020-02280-5Ramani S, Krackov SK.Twelve tips for giving feedback effectively in the clinical environment.Med Teach. 2012;34(10):787-791. doi:10.3109/0142159X.2012.684916

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read oureditorial processto learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Jug R, Jiang XS, Bean SM.Giving and receiving effective feedback: A review article and how-to guide.Arch Pathol Lab Med. 2019;143(2):244-250. doi:10.5858/arpa.2018-0058-RAHardavella G, Aamli-Gaagnat A, Saad N, Rousalova I, Sreter KB.How to give and receive feedback effectively.Breathe (Sheff). 2017;13(4):327-333. doi:10.1183/20734735.009917Burgess A, van Diggele C, Roberts C, Mellis C.Feedback in the clinical setting.BMC Med Educ. 2020;20(Suppl 2):460. doi:10.1186/s12909-020-02280-5Ramani S, Krackov SK.Twelve tips for giving feedback effectively in the clinical environment.Med Teach. 2012;34(10):787-791. doi:10.3109/0142159X.2012.684916

Jug R, Jiang XS, Bean SM.Giving and receiving effective feedback: A review article and how-to guide.Arch Pathol Lab Med. 2019;143(2):244-250. doi:10.5858/arpa.2018-0058-RA

Hardavella G, Aamli-Gaagnat A, Saad N, Rousalova I, Sreter KB.How to give and receive feedback effectively.Breathe (Sheff). 2017;13(4):327-333. doi:10.1183/20734735.009917

Burgess A, van Diggele C, Roberts C, Mellis C.Feedback in the clinical setting.BMC Med Educ. 2020;20(Suppl 2):460. doi:10.1186/s12909-020-02280-5

Ramani S, Krackov SK.Twelve tips for giving feedback effectively in the clinical environment.Med Teach. 2012;34(10):787-791. doi:10.3109/0142159X.2012.684916

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

Was this page helpful?Thanks for your feedback!What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

Was this page helpful?

Thanks for your feedback!

What is your feedback?HelpfulReport an ErrorOtherSubmit

What is your feedback?